Not Gonna Happens by Larner

Reviews (244)

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Eirinn Leigh · 1 March 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

The ending reminds me of Sam Alexander's (kid Nova) introduction to superheros in the Marvel Comics. Wakes up in a hospital, has a conversation with aliens and falls asleep thinking it was a dream... only a space helmet - the source of his subsequent powers - is shown lying under the bed. a bit silly but not, as a whole, too horrifying an addition to the fandom!

Author's reply

Oh, it does sound like a good premise for the series of comic books, then. I'll have to check it out. Most of the fics in this collection are a bit silly, but I hope they're also fun to read. Thanks!

Andrea · 28 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

That was very funny! I don't know Mr. Gibbs, but I think he was the perfect man for the job.

Author's reply

Leroy Jethro Gibbs is the lead in the action mystery series NCIS. He was a sniper while enlisted in the Marines, and is now the leader of a group of investigators working in the Naval Criminal Investigative Services. One of my favorite series, in spite of having exceedingly limited access to television nowadays. Heh! Yes, the perfect man for the job indeed! Glad it gave you a laugh.

Antane · 19 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

Looks I am the only one who is clueless about who Gibbs is but still a cute story. Semper fi! Namarie, God bless, Antane :)

Author's reply

Oh, you mean you don't watch NCIS? Too bad, really! There's good reason it was voted last year the most popular drama internationally. A show I love to watch, I find. Gibbs was a sniper in the Marines before he joined the Naval Criminal Investigative Services, so it seemed he fit the bill here somehow. A friend challenged me to figure out how to do such a crossover, and this was what came out!

Dreamflower · 17 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

Oh, that's hilarious! I've only seen a couple of episodes of NCIS, but it really fit nicely into your framework. Poor Bandobras! Imagine if he should someday find out he cant take credit for his most famous deed.

Author's reply

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you didn't mind me "borrowing" your Ranger and his horse as I did. But having seen what I did with "Downton Abbey" Linda challenged me to find a way to involve someone from NCIS in my next venture into mixing worlds. And I'm certain Gandalf, Aragorn, Landroval, and Sam have no intention of telling anyone, so I doubt Bandobras will be robbed of his fame. Thanks so, Dreamflower!

Tari · 17 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

Fascinating. It reminded me of Fiondil's Elf Academy.

Author's reply

Really? It reminds you of Elf Academy? I hope you found the details sufficiently realistic to draw you in. It was fun to write, but seemed to take too long to get finished. Thanks so, Tari!

Soledad · 17 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

Oh, Larner, this was absolutely hysterical! I laughed so hard that my chair was shaking. Poor Gibbs, really out of his comfort zone, but doing the job perfectly nonetheless - how fitting.

Author's reply

I am glad that you enjoyed it so, Soledad. I enjoyed writing it, and imagining how Gibbs might react was a good deal of fun. Thanks so very much!

shirebound · 17 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

This is absolutely brilliant.

Author's reply

Oh, thank you so, Shirebound! Glad you enjoyed it.

UTfrog · 17 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

Oh this is a fantastic crossover! Accurate to all characters and plausible. Great job thank you.

Author's reply

When friend Linda challenged me to find the means to bring someone from NCIS into Middle Earth I had to think of some situation that might warrant one of them being there, and poor Bandobras and his club sort of leapt into my mind. Now, a Hobbit, even atop a horse, should not be able to knock off the head of a goblin! So, what kind of help might he have received to reach that goal that he'd not be even aware of? Well, I've managed to put disabled people into Middle Earth, to look at the probable bureaucracy of the Shire, to highlight the WM3 case, to involve handicrafts, art, and dancing, and today I've managed to involve NCIS. Now, to find the means to somehow put right the rewriting of history as the Tudors did it after they killed one of the best kings Britain ever enjoyed and I'll be through working most of my many obsessions into Arda!

Theresa Greenfalcon · 16 February 2016 · Chapter 18: A Little Surreptitious Help

Loved this story, and I could see Gibbs and McGee in Middle Earth so easily! It's a GREAT alternate universe....!

Author's reply

And it was fun to write, too. A friend challenged me to find a means to do a crossover between NCIS and LOTR, and somehow I found it had to have Gibbs in sniper mode! So glad you enjoyed it!

Kaylee Arafinwiel · 20 January 2016 · Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?

Quick re-read (and re-review) before bed, since something NiRi said on Facebook made me think of this ficlet again... Just thought of something. 'The one who’d named himself “The Star of the King” gave an elaborate shrug.' "The Star of the King", eh? While 'Gil' does indeed mean 'star' in Sindarin, 'roy' isn't anywhere close to 'aran'...I wonder if he presented himself as 'Gilaran'? (Well no, that'd be 'star king'...unless the 'of the' is implied...I suppose it must be, like with 'Thorongil', perhaps, but...oh, where's Atto Fiondil when I need him. :( Well, don't answer that, we all know where. *sighs*) But anyway, what I meant to say before detouring and missing Atto again was, I wonder how exactly Gilderoy blundered his way into Middle Earth knowing Sindarin? Or is it a spell? For that matter, how do they understand English, or is something causing it to be 'translated' as Westron? Translation Convention spell, maybe? I dunno, I think too much, especially when I should be sleeping. Anyway, I was glad to reread this, even though I'm missing Atto more. *hugs Larner* Kaylee

Author's reply

I suspect that Gilderoy Lockhart might well have done his best at a Translation Convention spell, and it came out garbled. "Roy" translates to "King" in OUR world, while "Gil" translates to "Star" in their world; with "de" translating to "Of" in our world, making a mishmashed translation of "Gilderoy" to "Star" (Sindarin) "of the King" (French). I just did a check of the meaning of the name on TheNameMeaning.com, and it is indicated that the name is actually of Celtic origin and means "son of the servant of the red hair." So, again we have the results of a mishmashed translation to Middle-earth languages. Heh! I had fun with it, at least.

Andrea · 16 January 2016 · Chapter 17: Disturbances of the Peace

I don't know Downton Abbey, but I can very well imagine Lady Violet's bewilderment. Is there a lake nearby? Maybe someone should go there and have a look, just to be sure ;-)

Author's reply

Ah, but yes there is indeed a lake on the property, although whether they might find the ruins of a dragon there is questionable. But they might find some strange things other than a miserable set of leg braces! (Sorry, a referral to season one of Downton Abbey! Heh!) It's a delightful series, and I suspect you will enjoy it if you can find it in DVD format where you live. It caught my imagination the first time I watched it. Thank you so!

a12NAEAN · 12 January 2016 · Chapter 2: Why Mums and Dads Leave Home

Hey, that's a clever way of thnkniig about it.

Author's reply

Glad you think so!

Tari · 4 January 2016 · Chapter 17: Disturbances of the Peace

Another Downton Abbey fan. Very cleverly done. I love it.

Author's reply

Oh, indeed, Tari! Can't wait for the DVD set to be released later this month! Thanks, and am glad it made you laugh! Let's raise our glasses high!

periannore · 3 January 2016 · Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?

Gilroy, still so narcissistic, so oblivious, you caught those characteristics which makes him such fun instead of tediously offensive. I hope writing this lightened your mood as much as reading it lightened mine. You have a wide bredth of writing talent.

Author's reply

And I am truly honored, Periannore! Thank you so for making my day!

PSW · 3 January 2016 · Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?

Oh good grief! So funny! I had to read it out loud to my sister too -- I was barely into the second paragraph and she goes, 'Is that Gilderoy Lockhart?' :-P Fantastic!

Author's reply

Oh, but it is great fun to write some silly little things like so many of these are and to slip in a familiar character from a different story set. Heh! Glad to give you and your sister a good laugh!

Kaylee Arafinwiel · 3 January 2016 · Chapter 17: Disturbances of the Peace

I hope the Master is having a very happy 124th, and that Atto Fiondil is enjoying this day too! I don't know Downton Abbey well (I need to fix that) but it does seem someone needs a new physician...*chuckles at Bilbo running by* Attercop, indeed... Kaylee

Author's reply

I suspect he finds himself shaking his head from time to time when we do crossovers. Heh! I love Downton Abbey and wish I had television service so I could see it on PBS tonight!

Kaylee Arafinwiel · 3 January 2016 · Chapter 10: Transformation

"Always this way, the third of January!" Indeed it is, and I'm sitting here with my glass of eggnog, staring into its creamy depths (not that I see anything) and wondering somewhat if Atto Fiondil can see this from his lofty position. I'd like to think the Professor gets to sail with Earendil on this day. Surely if anyone deserves it, he does. Hopefully Atto Fiondil can accompany Tilion. That would be nice. *small smile* *raises glass* To the Professor - and Atto Fiondil. May Eru bless them both beyond the Circles of the World. With love, Kaylee

Author's reply

Oh, I so hope this is true! To think of him sailing with Earendil aboard Vingilot is indeed delightful! May the Father indeed bless them both as you ask!

someone · 3 January 2016 · Chapter 17: Disturbances of the Peace

This was a cross-over that I would never had imagined to read one day! Violet is really not the type of person to appreciate dreams like that. Thank you, this made me smile!

Author's reply

I am so glad it did make you smile today, Someone. I enjoyed writing it!

Kaylee Arafinwiel · 12 March 2015 · Chapter 9: Not a Typical Night's Work

Namarie, Sir Terry. Hara máriessë mi Mandos. :( Rereading this ficlet in honour of a wonderful author and one of my favourites after Tolkien. I do think Discworld's Death and Lord Námo would have been more than passing acquaintances, and perhaps even good friends. I can also see how Sam and especially Frodo wouldn't have been able to wait - I'm thinking the same for Sir Terry perhaps. Seven years, I think it's been, is long enough to deal with what amounts to a slow painful death, as it is. :( Kaylee Arafinwiel

Author's reply

From what I have read he did not wish to wait, but still in the end went naturally, and surrounded by those he loved, including his cat, who lay sleeping on his bed when Death cut the silver cord. At least he fought back against his condition by writing till the end. I will always treasure "Steam" because it was, apparently, his last work. I suspect Death and Namo have both welcomed him happily, and that he is now lampooning even himself and setting God and His angels all to laughing!

Kaylee Arafinwiel · 5 January 2015 · Chapter 10: Transformation

O Larner, I'm dreadfully late reviewing for this year, I feel - I've been feeling rather ill, and today am actually worse than I was on the 3rd, when I actually did the re-read. I just dropped off to sleep after reviewing, and only now realised I hadn't! But how captivating these astronauts (and their Russian friend) still are to me! I do find myself thinking that it's just too bad Tilion couldn't stop off inside the All-But-Forsaken-Inn for a glass of vodka! Heh! *raises a glass of Sprite, belated though it is* To the Professor!! Kaylee Arafinwiel

Kaylee Arafinwiel · 3 January 2014 · Chapter 10: Transformation

And, yet another year has gone by...*grins and raises a glass to Larner* Sprite, this time, the eggnog's run out - but hey, nice to remember what I was having last year about this time. I still adore your confused Russian cosmonaut, lol! and the All-But-Forsaken-Inn...I wonder, did he come up with that name or did someone else? The two Americans have become Dr. Ryan Stone and Lieutenant Matt Kowalski of "Gravity" to me, although Dr. Stone is in fact female, lol. I like to think to myself that they had this moment of happiness and wonder together with their Russian friend before the events of "Gravity" unfolded as they did. If you haven't seen that, btw, I highly recommend it, mellon. It's achingly beautiful, and the scope of outer space at large put me in mind of this story. Until next year, mellon muin nin, at least on this story :) Kaylee Arafinwiel

Author's reply

And I rejoice each time someone expresses how much they enjoy this! Thanks so, Kaylee! And I'll have to see Gravity now.

Istie · 10 November 2013 · Chapter 15: A Battle of Wolves

This one actually brought tears to my eyes. Tonks and Lupin are two of my favorite HP characters, and so nice to see them rewarded some how :)

Author's reply

I also loved Tonks and Lupin, as does Kaylee, for whom in particular this story was written. And what better reward for the two of them? Thank you so!

Istie · 10 November 2013 · Chapter 11: Prepared to Live Indeed

So, that's where Voldemort ended up. I did wonder. Interesting idea, also, with him being reborn as one of Harry's children.

Author's reply

The idea that Harry could do nothing for the remnant of Voldemort that lay under the bench has niggled at me. In my-verse Frodo found his place within the Timeless Halls nurturing children either returned betimes from a life that didn't work out or preparing for a life to come; to see one who'd always chosen self-centeredness finally choose to embrace love must have delighted Frodo! And to find the love Lotho, Tom Riddle, and the identities this one had embraced in between returning to life changed now for the better within the family of the very one he'd once considered his enemy would be an ending I think Tolkien himself would have appreciated. What an irony, right? Thanks for the comments!

Istie · 10 November 2013 · Chapter 9: Not a Typical Night's Work

One of my favorite Discworld characters :). So, Death knows both Namo and Earendil, then? I wonder who else in Middle- Earth he knows...

Author's reply

Death is one of my favorite Diskworld characters, too. And the Diskworld keeps intruding into my little crossovers, I find. And of course he'd know both Namo and Earendil! As for who else he might know--well, that's a topic for other stories along the way, of course! Heh!

Istie · 10 November 2013 · Chapter 8: Light Reading

Oh, yes, I remember wanting a wand, after reading the HP books. Though fortunately, I was able to go to Amazon instead of stealing a hair from Galadriel. Enjoyed the idea of Frodo reading the HP books, though all of these HP/LOTR drabbles are making me want to find a crossover story...

Author's reply

Well, as I doubt that there are regular deliveries by UPS or FedEx to Tol Eressea, I suspect that Frodo would be forced to create his own wand instead. Heh! This one was just fun to write! Unfortunately Nilmandra, who owns this site, does not wish long crossovers to be posted here, so you may well have to visit FanFiction.net to find a good HP/LOTR tale. I recommend "Not Quite a Maya" by Kara's Auntie! A delightful tale starring Neville Longbottom, Molly Weasley, and Augusta Longbottom!