Reviews (166)

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That it moved you is proof I did it right, I'd say. Thank you, Linda.

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They're learning about the outer world, that Frodo truly considers the King his friend, and that Pippin's still Pippin as he ever was, but that he misses this Boromir. And they have their new prison in spite of it going against Hobbit traditions and aesthetics; but at least it is a Hobbity one. And I'm glad that you found Arwen's letter touching. Thanks so much, Linda.

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It must have been very difficult--I'll agree with you there, Linda. And since Tolkien didn't tell us about what "really" happened in most of the Shire during the time we get to fill in the blanks.

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Esme and Sara needed that assurance that all their sacrifices for Frodo had been fruitful; and that she would find herself reuniting with her beloved Sara after a long and full life was only right, I felt. And for Frodo these small moments when he is aware of those he left behind help to keep him aware that at heart he remains a Hobbit of the Shire.

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Thank you, Grey Wonderer, for it's been a joy to write this, as it's my tribute to all who opened up and accepted me and mine over the years. Yes, Sara was waiting to lead her to the feast and beyond when they're ready to go further; and they were able to see Frodo restored once more. Am so glad you appreciate that Merry saw the letter. I've been a second mother myself, and this is dedicated to so many who stood by me and mine over the years. It was meant to be finished by Mothers Day, but you know how these stories go. And congratulations on all the nominations you've received for MEFAs--I'm impressed! And don't kill me for mine.

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I really ought to go into the facial tissues business! Heh! A quiet ending to a full life, and reassurance as she goes to her own renewal that the last sacrifice she made for Frodo did bear joyous fruit, as she sees him healed, happy, teaching, dancing, and full of joy. And I remember how my mother kept our handprints over the years. As for next--it's back to Stirring Rings and The Tenant for me.

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Am so very glad you found this moving. And Esme deserves a good ending and renewal.

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Thank you so very much for these comments, Lily, and I hope one day you'll share that story with those of us who don't read German as well. I love seeing the same periods from different points of view. Certainly your expressions of Merimac and his family have managed to work partly into my own Arda-view! And I'm certain your view of Esmeralda will be a wonderful one. And I'm certain that at the end Esme would be granted the assurance that she'd chosen rightly, and that Frodo had indeed found the healing he needed. Thank you again.

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Thank you so much, Rowan. I was first inspired to write as I have after reading a couple of Lindelea's stories on FFN, and took the idea that Frodo may have had a heart murmur as a child and later was suffering from heart failure from her works. But then I have always tried to weave threads from the stories of others here into my own views of the quest and the lives of our heroes afterwards. It was Tolkien's own idea that the stories of Middle Earth might be all woven together to make a great tapestry, after all; and how very often we inspire one another, enriching one another's work and our own. Bakshi, PJ, Lindelea, Baylor, Anglachel, Jodancingtree, Dreamflower, Ariel, Pippin Took, Queen Galadriel, Bodkin, Grey Wonderer, you, and so many others have all inspired me as I've found I on occasion have inspired them. Part of the draw of Tolkien's work for me is the desire to fill in the details. How do the various people support themselves and one another? How much are they aware of the other peoples about them? How do they speak--move--react to distress? To joy? Tolkien himself was a Roman Catholic, and so I try to keep most of my ideas consistent with his mindset and with the cosmology he invented for the world of Arda. And as one who's ever been a second mother myself, I have always found I empathise strongly with Esmeralda, who probably did serve as Frodo's foster mother after the death of Primula and Drogo. I've written Frodo's story from Sam's point of view--this time it was Esme's turn, I found. Thank you for letting me know how much you enjoyed it.

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When I learn that my writing is able to move others it makes me glad, for that's part of the reason for doing so, to help others to know the full gamut of emotion and to help them know the wonder of empathy and the depths of love, grief, and hope restored. At the end of her life to go with that memory of that love she felt for Frodo reaffirmed, to know that those who remain share that love and will keep the connection alive--I think it helps her make the transition more easily, to accept that she'll ever be one to hold a part of the flame that love for Frodo kindled in others whether in this life or the next. And Merry isn't alone--by his side are still those two who remain from what they shared with Frodo, and they'll continue to face the joys and losses together, feeling his continued fellowship from afar. And thank you so for your faithful feedback.

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It's always sad to lose one we've come to love; but for Esme it's now the right time to seek out her Saradoc and the others she's loved, and to have that final reassurance that she did the right thing in encouraging Frodo to seek healing for his own sake. Thank you so much for your constant comments and feedback through all this, Dreamflower.

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Merry, Pippin, and Sam are now back in their own world, among their own people, and only just beginning to realize how their experiences have set them apart. They need to feel their way back as best they can, and they're realizing how the memories will intrude from time to time--both the good and the bad, but especially the bad and sad ones at most inopportune moments. And Sam as Frodo's third mum--a distinct possibility! Heh! For Frodo the wounds and the scars go deeper than for the others, and he must struggle harder to come through them and to keep them in order. He'll let Esme have more glimpses of what's inside than most others, and of course, having seen him when he first lost his parents she will recognize that even nearly a year after the quest was won he's still feeling the loss as intently and intimately as he did the loss of his parents. She tries to help ground him once more, and is able to show how he's used his past experiences to the betterment of all now, and comes to understand how many of his own aversions he's had to overcome in order to do his job now. But it's not always easy. He's able to appreciate many of the details of his own dreams better now, and integrate knowledge shared with him by others, and recognize the differences between restraint and vengeance. She is able by being matter-of-fact able to get him to admit his finger is gone and that adjusting to that took time and even work, and she sees that Frodo is working to get Sam to see himself as Frodo's equal and not only his subordinate. Of those in the Great Smial who didn't go on the quest, Ferdi knew Frodo best and, perhaps due to his own disability, is now better able to just listen in a nonjudgemental way and then put the pieces together that Frodo, Pippin, and Merry let him have. He's not been one to avoid painful truths since he came out of the Lockholes no longer able to see the Sun himself, and he'll do his best to get his inlaws to face them also in spite of themselves. Realizing she needs more information as well as reassurance from one who hopefully will appreciate her point of view, Esme turns to the one woman she's aware of that she has some hope of receiving a response from who was able to observe Frodo while he was gone, and although she doesn't get all the answers she wants, she does get the painful advice to remind her the only strategy that worked the last time. At least she doesn't feel alone in her worry and the anticipation of loss to come. Am so glad so many appreciated the blankets. They don't need to hold any magic--just the fact they were woven by Elves within their lands would be comforting enough--a reminder that the Shadow didn't prevail in those places for all its long endeavor to do so, and that even here in Crickhollow it only visited and left again--it would help remind those who lay under them of the great beauty they knew in Rivendell and Lorien and in the company of the Lady and her granddaughter. Esme must indeed have felt hurt at the admission he'd not intended to stay, but is able to know at least some moments of peace with him before he finds himself frightened to find the lie that he is somehow all right within him, and that he's been trying to force this on others and that they--or at least she--recognizes that for the untruth it is. And in the end he knows that the love will still be there even if he must go away, whether he chooses to go in search of healing or remain to spend what time remains surrounded by those who love him. One last reassurance to help sustain his hopes.... Thanks for the long and detailed review.

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And all from two of the letters sent and received. I'm honored. Aragorn doesn't see himself as ruling so much as serving, I think; and Arwen would see it similarly. To help Frodo find himself, others must let him go as was done before. And the hope is there that he will be able to be restored. She's known and loved him since the day after he was born, has raised him for the sake of the memory of his parents and for his own sake, and recognizes just how special an individual he is. I'm so glad you found these moved you, and thank you for your response.

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By the time Frodo left the Shire there had to have been hints all was not well with him, and that there was reason he needed to leave. Nor do I believe Esme would have agreed to leave any stone unturned in trying to find some way to help her former fosterling, even if it means writing to a woman she's never met. And I do think Frodo would have taken THAT letter with him, and kept it close. After all, he was advised to bring those small things that strengthened his hope and faith, and that letter showed how Esme was willing to lose much out of hope and faith for his joy to be returned to him. As for that last--the epilogue will be up soon. Oh, and I loved the idea of them, too--one last act of joyful defiance and reassurance against the memory of that darkness.

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In wishing to understand, I think Esme would seek to speak as she could, woman-to-woman, with one she hoped could give her the information and advice she needed. And I'm so very glad you feel they are in character. So glad you feel I managed that! And WRITING that letter brought tears to MY eyes! Epilogue and author's notes left.

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Thanks for the correction--I HATE it when I do that! I'm so glad you're continuing to keep abreast of it, even if you don't comment often. And of course the other tales are woven in the midst of this one. Need now to get back to Stirring Rings and The Tenant from Staddle and SEE THEM DONE! This was another small nuzgul with ears on!

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If you ever get to reading my other stories, you'll find they all intertwine. In a way this is a prequel to "Go Out in Joy," but it's also a prequel to "Filled with Light as with Water" and "The Choice of Healing" and several others. Now, it all started with me reading Lindelea's "A Small and Passing Thing" and getting caught up in that, as well as a few other stories she'd written, and that Baylor had written, and Jodancingtree and Ariel and Anglachel and a few others--but particularly Lindelea's story there--these got me writing "For Eyes to See as Can." In at least one of her stories Ferdibrand Took was blinded during the Time of Troubles, although when I started writing Ferdi into MY stories I'd forgotten that much of the reason she gave was due to an initial injury that eventually resolved itself, but left him hysterically blind for a time. I not only write bits of my own stories into my further ones, but bits of other folks' stories as well, seeking to weave them all into a single tapestry, as it were. ANYWAYS, if you'll go back a chapter you'll note that the last report they get from the Tooks tells of Ferdibrand Took being caught by the Big Men, being identified as a Smials Took, and being kicked in the head repeatedly before being dragged off, fate unknown, to Michel Delving. In my version of events this left him permanently blind. In "The Acceptable Sacrifice" he is actually found in the Lockholes and rescued by Frodo and the others, along with Will Whitfoot and Fatty Bolger and Lobelia. In "For Eyes to See as Can," which was my first story, Ferdi would visit Frodo on occasion after he came to live in Bag End; he first is depicted as blind in "The King's Commission," and he describes to Ruvemir and Ruvemir's ward Ririon how he's come to compensate for his blindness. I believe Ferdi appears in "For Eyes to See as Can," "The King's Commission," "The Choice of Healing," "The Ties of Family," "The Acceptable Sacrifice," "Reconciliation," and "Second Mum." I don't think he's mentioned in "Reunion." That gifts such as Elven blankets might make their way to our four lads just seemed plausible, and that such would be comforting to the four of them also seemed very likely, helping to overcome any residual feelings of horror or terror left by the brief visit by the Nazgul. Tolkien gave us names and some relationships to work with; several of us have tried to turn these into real individuals who have personalities we can appreciate and even relate to. Am so glad you get this feeling with my stories.

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And I'm so glad you do like her also, Dreamflower. And I thought you'd appreciate the letters between her and Queen Arwen. Yes, it's coming to an end--the epilogue and author's notes--and then it's back to "The Tenant from Staddle" and "Stirring Rings" again--until the next nuzgul with ears on takes over again. But I've GOT to finish those eventually! Aargh!

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I wrote a long response to this yesterday, just in time for Hughes to go offline again! Now to try again. For those left behind who cared for our lads, that thirteen-month period where they were gone must have been very difficult to deal with, and for Esme, with three of her lads she loved dearly and Frodo's special friend missing and knowing her brother and his wife were also terrified it must have made it worse. Esme's already overheard Maggot speaking with two Big Folk; she probably guesses who the source of his information this time might be. And I do believe Goldberry would nudge Tom to pass on word that the last they knew the four of them were alive and well and getting on with things. And if there were indeed individuals originally from Bree living in Brandy Hall I'd think that before the gates went up their relatives have done their best to make certain they were okay, and again they'd bring news that might or might not be reassuring. I doubt it's having a bad character that makes both of us like seeing Marco getting what he well deserves when seeking first to connive and then to intimidate the current Master and Mistress--folk like that need to be caught out and given a reality check from time to time, after all. And I'm certain that Sara would have been as effective in his way as Paladin's folks in theirs of keeping Lotho's at bay, particularly with the advantage of having the river as a natural defense, The moments of insight must on one hand have been reassuring; but on the other frustrating as she has no idea what she's seeing or its meaning, although the one of the coronation must have been very reassuring and moving. And once they knew their lads were back, apparently safe and whole, and were actively seeing to it the bad times were over, they must have overwhelmingly wished to dance with joy. So glad you, too, feel it's right.

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Yes, in my view the conspirators did leave letters, although the Gaffer never got his. I don't think they would have left their families totally without an idea as to why they felt it necessary to leave, after all. The question as to why Lotho was moved to try to make himself dictator of the Shire has always been one to bother us; and if it was to take all recognition to himself, then how would he be likely to feel about those who have not only inherited more authority and prestige than he himself carried, but who obstructed his own attempts to wrest all authority to himself? I bet he was big-time furious, and willing to punish them as he could. As for Saruman--I think he would have wished to get Frodo into his own hands on his return, and believe he wouldn't be above taking hostages to force Frodo into allowing it. Thanks so much for the comments.

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Yes Lobelia is poisonous, and Lalia is over the top, yet both have a human side, too, one that others are surprised to find there. After all, after the Time of Troubles is over Lobelia not only gives Bag End back to Frodo but offers her own property to help pay reparations to those Lotho so seriously wronged. And Esme's not certain what to think, and isn't as yet knowledgable about what resides in Frodo's pocket.

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Am so glad you like it, Armariel. I would think that Frodo aided Sam a good deal in adjusting to his mother's death, having been through it himself. And I've always suspected that Sam and Rosie's love for one another went back a good long way. But, unfortunately for all who had an interest, Frodo doesn't appear to have developed a loving relationship within Middle Earth--it takes a sea spirit to capture him completely, I understand. (Heh!) But love does find Narcissa--here, and happiness comes again to Brendi, in part due to Frodo's desire both should know joy.

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I can't see Tom thinking of Old Man Willow as being all that dangerous--more a hassle that needs to be dealt with than something to truly worry about. And you're certainly right that what our lads went through their wasn't anywhere as nasty as what they'd have faced had they had three to four Black Riders confronting them. Everyone seems to feel the concentrated evil of the Nazgul, while Old Man Willow, once reminded of his place, spits them out obediently and goes grudgingly back to sleep, and the Wight just needs the application of a Dunedain knife and a bit of stomping (and daylight) to put him right. I think that Bilbo and Frodo probably learned from Bilbo's first adventure--had Bilbo had provisions made for a POA that first time Otho and Lobelia wouldn't have been able to try to take over Bag End at the time; felt that as legalistic (in its way) as the Shire is that Will would have looked at such a document and just signed it, shaking his head over "Those Bagginses--always planning for everything. Isn't that just like them?" And to find a trip to the hazel thicket has become potentially dangerous would have been a shock; but wouldn't there be at least a few archers amongst the Buckland Hobbits as well as the Tooks? They do live there by the Old Forest, after all. And by the time Sharkey was there, chances are he was thinking in terms of trying to get control of Frodo somehow, and using someone else to do so seemed likely. Thanks for the comments--you know I appreciate them!

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"Fair" can mean fair-haired, with blonde to light-brown hair; or it can mean fair-skinned, one of the paler shades, or fair to look at. As we know that Frodo had brown hair (remember the brown mat the folk at the Prancing Pony came up with to mimic Frodos hair when making the dummy figures to put into the beds in the room they'd been assigned), we don't know what SHADE of brown, although it appears it was a particularly striking brown for them to seek out a mat to match it. So, it might have been particularly dark or particularly light or have a golden or silver highlight to it--but we know it helped make him stand out somewhat from the others. That "fairer than most" I've decided means "fair to look at" and probably indicated a particularly pale skin. As Elves tended to have golden, silver, or dark hair for the three strains Tolkien describes, I decided sticking with the Elijah Wood look fit well, as the Fallohides tended to be identified with Elves, and we are reasonably certain Frodo had a fair amount of Fallohide in his genetic makeup. With the striking dark hair he'd end up being identified with the children of Luthien rather than the Elves of Lorien, I'd think, and I rather like keeping that identity myself. And I agree--Frodo spent much of his formative years in Buckland, and they would rejoice to see both their sons return, I think And I believe our particularly responsible Merry would have let his parents know at least something about what was up.

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I suspect that the Brandybucks indeed planned for the defense of their lands as best they could, and undoubtedly it's from them Frodo inherited his own tendency to plan as well as he did, particularly once he became deputy Mayor. And, yes, there were three she knew and loved dearly and one she had reason to know the lads respected missing; and all must worry as to where they went and what might be happening to them; and if the Tooks DID inherit a bit of the second sight, how might it have manifested itself, particularly during that time? Those thirteen months must have seemed a veritable lifetime to those who must live through them with little idea as to what was going on. But you're right--now they're back--only not unscathed.