mourningelflady
· 14 April 2004
· Chapter 39: XXXIX
there is a God! i am a pretty strong christian so when i read your story it just turned me off at the m/m part but i pushed myself throught it since it was very good. i give my many thanks to u for an edited version.
anyway, luv ur work and keep the updates coming. and i am very VERY glad this is going to be long. Hint: fast reader
question: u f or m?
Author's reply
Thought it was the only way to make my readers happy! ;) Also, since it's such a long story, I thought it was kind of 'unfair' to my readers if they objected to the themes included and couldn't read any further, since they weren't warned when they first started reading it (after all, it was something that came waaay later in the story!) I'll be updating soon, so hang in there!
Regarding your question (and a comment you made in the other place), I'm female, and the decision to include the m/m pairing is not based in any part on my life experience or personal feelings..(I think you get what I'm trying to say here! ;))
Anyway, hope you're happy with it, and also would love it if you would continue reviewing! =)
Elf messenger
· 8 April 2004
· Chapter 39: XXXIX
Ooo, the plot thickens yet again. That jewel sounds pretty creepy, the elves better keep a sharp eye out. I can't wait until you post again! Until then,
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Yup, I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter..and even happier that you liked the eeriness of everything! =) The next chapter? It's almost done, just need a bit of tweaking, so hold on tight!
Elf messenger
· 1 April 2004
· Chapter 37: XXXVII
Legolas is so caring even though he still has is problems. As for the "slash" I didn't really notice it until you pointed it out. Nonetheless, keep up the good work!
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Well, in any case I hope you weren't offended by it! Glad to see that you're still reading it, and yes, Legolas is sweet, love the guy, hope you enjoy the next chapter more! ;)
Usa
· 28 March 2004
· Chapter 37: XXXVII
Hi! I love this story! I was wondering, where else can I find it so I might read the unedited version as well?
Author's reply
Usa, thanks so much for the review..just wanted to say that I have decided to put the unedited version up on ff.net, although I haven't had the time to do so yet, having deleted the chapter when I received a few complaints..I will post the link to the story in the A/N when I've re-uploaded the chapter onto the website, but in case you were interested, the URL is http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=564654 (but it's still identical to what I've posted on this website for the time being) Will let keep you informed of what happens next!
Author Reply: Just to let you know that I've posted chapter 48 up on ff.net, so if you're interested, head down there and take a look, let me know what you think (hint: review!) =)
Elf messenger
· 11 March 2004
· Chapter 36: XXXVI
Ooo, sinister dealings.Legolas better be on his guard.I can't for the next chapter! Until then,
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Glad you enjoyed that..hopefully it'll set up the story for more evil that i have in mind! =) xx
Elf messenger
· 25 February 2004
· Chapter 35: XXXV
Poor Lego,I hope Elrond can help him figure things out. your latest chapters are very good and I can't wait for the next one! Until then,
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Thanks very much for your support, I'm glad you like it! Yes, Legolas is in quite a mess, and I really do hope he's going to get sorted out, but you know how life is, nothing nice and happy really happens, or does it??
Elf messenger
· 9 February 2004
· Chapter 23: XXIII
I'm glad you fixed that chapter, it has some valuable information in it. Nonetheless a good chapter,can't wait until you post again!
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Heehee, apologies once again..
Unfortunately might not post for this story for a while since I've run myself down..on the plus side, I'm going to do some shameless advertising for my *new* story just posted..let me know what you think by leaving a lovely review! ;)
Jaina xx
Blaise
· 5 February 2004
· Chapter 24: XXIV
Before I begin my reveiw....What happened here? How is Yuvinel back and why aren't Legolas and Glorfy going after Essendri anymore. I think you forgot to post a chapter here!! Please e-mail me with it if that is true. Now to review>>>>I love your story!!!! Of course, who wouldn't when our favorite elf is filled with angst and pain. I agree with you when you say this is going to be an epic tale (perhaps a trilogy); you have some many awesome secondary threads going. Do I sense a possible love triangle forming between Legolas and his lovely maidens? I love the back story of Legolas' lost mom and relationship with Elrond. Additionally, the friendship of Essendri and Legolas is endearing. I love how Essendri and Legolas easily relate to eachother. At first I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of Legolas having a servant and being called Master all the time but as I read more anybody can see that this is not a Master/servant relationship but a strong and enduring friendship. So much going on...the prophecy about Legolas and Lomothien..the secret identity surrounding Yuvinel. I have to admit that at first I didn't like that fact that so much magic was empahasized in the story and really didn't care for this magic power that Legolas possessed but once again the more I read it grew on me and really seemed to become an essential part of Legolas. Your writing style definitely made this more palatable and soon even intriguing to read. I read your last Author's note and sadly acknowledge that I must wait a time for the next update. Please do not abandon the story though...I am so disheartened to find great stories that are just lost and never completed...don't let this become one of them!!!
Author's reply
Hello there!! Thanks for the long review, I love long reviews, always gives me the excuse to write a long repy back! ;)
Erm, okay, just to say that no, I haven't skipped a chapter..have I? Yuvinel is back because the Elves rescued her thinking she was Esendri, and they all went to Imladris because Legolas would die if they didn't! I'm sure that bit was included! Let me check!
Edit: I am actually a complete MUPPET! AAAHHHH!! You are right!! I've reposted the (hopefully correct) chapter 34!! Thanks for pointing that one out, I cannot BELIEVE that i posted chapter 33 twice! Now hopefully that makes a lot more sense, sorry! *cringes*
Funnily enough, I'm not sure I mentioned it on this website, but I did tell my readers on other archive sitest that the plan is to make it into a trilogy! :) I tend to get very carried away with these secondary threads that I kind of lose sight of the main goal of the story, which will hopefully be clear soon enough!!
Regarding the 'triangle', all I will say is that this will NOT end up as a Mary-Sue, although I have a very dangerously Mary-Sue scene in mind..but I promise you it will be handled as delicately as possible, and yes, most guys are completely clueless about the opposite sex, and I doubt Legolas, for all his virtues, has any better idea than the rest of THEM..;)
I'm glad you could see that Legolas only has a servant in name...if you're interested, read my other published story about how they met, but I am so glad that you realise that he does not really have any 'master-y' feelings when he relates to Esendri! I've actually got readers urging me to change that close friendship into a romance, funnily enough..haven't had that one yet here..but then again, I have hardly been given death threats on this website, which is of course a good thing! ;)
Regarding magic, I think lots of people do get carried away with this 'all powerful, all good-doing' thing that completely pisses me off...it's obviously NEVER going to be the case!
Sorry about the possible break in between now and the next update, I have to admit I'm having difficulty with REALLIFE, because I've once again taken on more than I can handle, but I promise you this will never get abandoned, I love it too much..:D
Blaise
· 5 February 2004
· Chapter 24: XXIV
Elf messenger
· 3 February 2004
· Chapter 33: XXXIII
Yay! Esendri is free! I can't wait until thet get to Imladris.That was a good chapter. Keep up the good work!
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Yes I'm looking forward to this one myself! :D I'm such a big fan of Esendri it's worrying, considering I 'created' him..;)
Elf messenger
· 26 January 2004
· Chapter 32: XXXII
Wow. That was really good. I guess Lego doesn't know his own power, that can be a scary thing. Nonetheless it was a really good chapter.OOO Saruman can give anybody shivers. Keep up the good work!
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
thank you again! I too really felt that this sort of magic is a lot more believable than one in which it is too good to be true, if you get what I mean...magic/talents should never be used lightly!!
PS. I've rarely known somebody who calls him Lego, think in fact there's only one group of friends I've got who call him that..I personally call him Leggy...quite interesting...:)
Elf messenger
· 22 January 2004
· Chapter 31: XXXI
Ooooooooh, good chapter. I like Legolas' relationship with Elronds family even though his past is sad. Can't wait until you post again!!
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Thanks! I really like Elrond and his family, and thought it would be nice for him to actually have a bit of history with them, since it's such a potential goldmine for well, whatever really! lol I'll try my best to get the next chapter up ASAP! =)
Elf messenger
· 19 January 2004
· Chapter 30: XXX
The plot thickens, I like it! I liked the part with Elladan and Daniya but most of all the reaction of Gwenophor.Can't wait until you post some more!
Namarie.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Hehe, yes, I have to admit that it was really enjoyable to write that bit! I'm glad many people seem to like it! lol! Hear from you soon!
sofia
· 15 January 2004
· Chapter 30: XXX
great chapter. and its not going slow at all. i like the part with Elladan and the little girl, Daniya.it was funny. It would be humorous to see Elladan stuck with Daniya, alone. well i hope the next chapter is coming soon.
Author's reply
Thanks Sofia! =) It's a particular favourite relationship of mine actually, more like my own experiences with little people! ;) lol Glad you like it, I'll try to post more soon!
Elf messenger
· 14 January 2004
· Chapter 28: XXVIII
I don't think your chapter is pointless. I like it. I especialy like the part with the oak tree.Keep up the good work!
NAMARIE.
Elf messenger
Author's reply
Hello and thanks very much! I suppose I get too caught up in action at times that I find it slightly difficult to write slower moving chapters! =) But thanks anyway, glad you liked it, I too love the way Silvan Elves are so at one with nature...it's the way things should be!
sofia
· 30 December 2003
· Chapter 27: XXVII
i liked this chapter. im glad Legolas is OK. I like the twins too! Too bad that they were left out of the movies, though.
Author's reply
Hiya Sofia,
Glad you liked it, if you looked carefully enough during the reforging of Narsil, you can see that the twins as the swordsmiths! :D
sofia
· 21 December 2003
· Chapter 25: XXV
good chapter. cant wait till its updated again!
sofia
· 9 December 2003
· Chapter 23: XXIII
i really like this story! but what happened to the human girl? if u did mention it, i missed it.
Author's reply
Yes, it took me the better part of a month to realise it, I'm so sorry, hopefully this will make more sense now, I'm so oblivious I sometimes wonder how I survive! ;)
JS
· 8 December 2003
· Chapter 22: XXII
I love this story! I'm so glad you post so frequently! I'm so glad the Thranduil is starting to realize that he does actually love his son! I can't wait to see how their relationship develops. Hope you post more soon!
Findulas
· 7 December 2003
· Chapter 21: XXI
I like your story, but I cannot help but be distracted, at times very distracted by the way the Elves speak. They totally sound like Yoda! I concentrate more on that than on the words they are actually saying.
Your story otherwise is very lyrical and well written.
sofia
· 1 December 2003
· Chapter 19: XIX
this chapter was good. it wasnt too much.... i think it added more to the story.cant wait to read more!
miruvour
· 30 November 2003
· Chapter 7: VII
oook. This whole . . . "Master" business is a little freaky. I would have thought that after being friends, the two would mutually use each others' first names. I am also slightly disturbed by it, but that's just me.
#2 - Tolkien's style is not in making people talk like Yoda! (I love your story, but I can't get into the serious aspect of it b/c the conversation is making me imagine Legolas' servant with green skin and huge ears! - I'm laughing, not what you want me to be doing when the tone of the story is dark!)
#3 - There are a few ways to slow things down a bit. You're keeping it full of action, and suspese, but there are points where the description is more along the lines of listing what a place/person/etc looks like rather than telling - for example, when you described the dark creature/thing's death you said, "A trickle of blood on it's mouth", as a sentence, or something along that effect. The imagery is good, but it's slapped in the reader's face rather than revealed to the reader's senses. A way to fix this would be to say "A trickle of blood slowly trailed from the side of it's mouth". There are several places where simply adding a pronoun & verb could help the writing immensely.
- I hope I haven't been to harsh - I'm trying to employ the constructive criticism so often turned upon myself, and hope I have suceeded. I know this sounds dumb, but I'm really not flaming or trying to be mean - and in that light, don't get discouraged in any way. Your storyline is fresh, for I haven't come across many people who write about the reaction of the royal family as shadow begins to creep into the forest - mostly, it's along the lines of battling what's already there. You show a lot of promise, just - please, PLEASE stop making people talk like Yoda! It's okay, & in Tolkien (all hail! all hail!) style to put your verbs at the beginning of the sentence. (and please stop the whole "Master" business, b/c even though he's a prince, that's just .. . . creepy.)
Author's reply
Thanks for your review, miruvour, it's definitely not a flame, don't worry, I've seen what *real* flames are like! ;)
I have to say that although you make some really good points, it's not really very possible for me now, having written 30+ chapters, to change everything, because that would require a major rewrite/overhaul of the story, which has been posted in quite a few places, which I simply don't have the time to do, but I shall bear your words in mind for whatever I next write!
Also, i ahve to admit that I went completely overboard and insane with the making the Elves talk in a different way, but I was definitely NOT thinking of Yoda when I did it, although I see how people can interpret it as such, you will find that it (hopefully) gets a lot better as the story goes on..same too with the writing structure/style..
Have to say, however, that I have to disagree with your views regarding Esendri's addressing as he probably means 'Master' as a title rather than a purely servant-and-master sense..it's like 'Mister' to a certain sense, or perhaps maybe even in the starwars 'Master Windu' way as well! =)
But thanks again for the feedback, I really thought it helped!
xx
Elf messenger
· 29 November 2003
· Chapter 18: XVIII
I really like this chapter! It kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time! the following and previous chapters are excellent as well! Keep up the good work!
NAMARIE!
-Elf messenger
sofia
· 26 November 2003
· Chapter 18: XVIII
this chapter was really good. i cant really cant wait till the next one.
sofia
· 14 November 2003
· Chapter 17: XVII
i really love the story... cant wait to read more. But if i may, i would suggest making it easier to tell who is talking. I kind of gets a big confusing on who is saying what.
--sofia
Author's reply
Thanks Sofia for the feedback, I will try to make it clearer, glad you like it! xx