Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they belong to JRR Tolkien. 

A/N: I realize some will think I’ve taken the quote below from LOTR a bit out of context. Probably...but maybe not. Who knows? A while ago when I wrote my first few fanfics, I wrote Merry with an estranged relationship with his father, so I wrote this story with the “beginning” in mind. On the bright side, Merry and Saradoc do eventually find middle ground in later years.

Warning: This story contains strong angst. I am neither a psychologist nor a professional writer. I write because I’m addicted to it, and I like to write about my two favorite characters: Pippin and Merry. Unfortunately...this is pre-Pippin; sorry Pip. If you have constructive criticism, or words of encouragement, please review.

Absence of Reasoning

“But Merry stood at the foot of the green mound, and he wept, and when the song was ended he arose and cried, “Theoden King, Theoden King! Farewell! As a father you were to me, for a little while. Farewell!” - LOTR/ROTK, JRR Tolkien. (Italics mine)

Chapter One - Secret Hurts

The teenager quietly tiptoed inside the dark void of his secret place. This particular room was his favorite place to hide when he wanted to escape the crowd of other hobbits; to be alone to think things over in his head, or to just be “near” his parents. This room used to belong to his mother and father until their untimely death in a boating accident upon the Brandywine River when he was just twelve years old. His heart still ached for them.

It was quiet and unsettling as he crept around, except for the muffled sound of a small child sniffling. “Merry?” he whispered. The sniffling stopped.

“Merry lad, you must come out,” he tried to coax the boy out of hiding. Then the sniffling started up again. Frodo tried again, “everybody’s worried about you, Merry. Your folks have all your aunties and uncles out looking for you.”

The boy was clearly upset; his breath came in sporadic gasps. “Not my Dad,” he sobbed.

The teen had no reply for those words. He then turned in the direction of the child’s voice. “Come along, Merry, It’s past midnight and your mummy is very worried and scared.”

“She is?”

“Of course she is! Very much so, and she wants you to come back home.”

“But I can’t, Frodo. I’ve run away!” The child started to sob again, “Dad and Mummy were shouting at each other...about me.”

Frodo opened the old, dusty wardrobe that he knew was Merry’s favorite hiding place when they played hide and seek. There sat the little boy with his knees drawn up. Frodo felt a feverish warmth escape from the dark void as he helped the child stand to his feet. He took up the five-year-old into his arms and carried him out into the lit hallway, the small boy crying into his shoulder the whole time. Frodo kissed Merry’s damp curls, stroking his shoulders as he carried his cousin back to his mother. “Shhh,” he said, “That is for your Dad and Mummy to worry about.”

The boy hid his face from the bright lanterns in the hallway and continued to sob. Frodo was gentle and soothing to his young cousin, but inwardly, his blood was boiling at his elder cousin’s disgraceful behavior towards his only child. Frodo felt Saradoc’s behavior to be absolutely repulsive.

Frodo held Merry close as he carried him down the hallway and whispered in his ear, “Do you wish to sleep in my bed tonight?” He could feel the little head nodding. He could feel the dampness on his shirt from Merry’s hot tears. “Shall we go and say goodnight to your Mum first?”

Merry nodded again, weary from crying, asked, “Will my dad be there? Him and Mummy will start yelling again.”

Frodo sighed, “I don’t know, Merry, but I’ll make sure no shouting goes on when you’re there.”

Minutes later the twosome stepped into the kitchen, Frodo still carrying Merry, and Merry sound asleep with his head resting on Frodo’s shoulder. The cares of his crumbling little world had taken its toll on him.

“Merry!” Esmeralda wept anew when she saw her little boy was safe and in the arms of his favorite cousin. She was waiting all alone in the room.

“Where did you find him?” She wiped her eyes with her handkerchief.

The teen was still a bit reluctant to give away his secret place. “Oh,” he replied, “in one of the vacant apartments in the upper level.” Frodo handed Merry over to his frantic mother, and Esmeralda was careful not to wake her sleeping child. Frodo watched as she closed her teary eyes, lovingly combing his curls away from his face with her fingers.

Frodo hesitated to break the moment, but he wanted to keep his word with Merry. “I...I sort of told him he could sleep in my bed tonight--I hope you don’t mind.”

At first, Esmeralda was going to object, but then decided it would be more important for her son to feel safe after all he had been through this evening. “Have you asked Uncle Saradas?”

His eyes dropped to his feet, “No.”

She knew the love her young cousin had for her son and relented, “Very well, Frodo, just this once without permission because I am pressed for decisions right now. If old Uncle Saradas fusses in the morning, then just bring little Merry directly to me, all right?” She balanced her son onto her hip, lightly hugging the older lad with her other arm. “Thank you, Frodo.”

Esmeralda kissed her little boy, “Merry,” she whispered, “wake up.”

The mop of curls slowly stirred. “Hmm.”

“Cousin Frodo is going to let you sleep in his bed tonight--how does that sound?”

“Hmm.”

Esmeralda tenderly kissed his small, rosy cheek, “I love you.”

Eyes still closed, Merry mumbled, “...lumm...too.”

“Mummy will be waiting for you in the morning,” she said, handing the sleeping boy back over to his cousin. Then she told Frodo, “I’ll go and tell the others he’s been found.”

Chapter Two - Hasty Plans

“Oh, Ferne,” Esmeralda looked around the kitchen as she rolled out dough for making tarts, “where are those jars of blackberry preserves that I set here?”

“Right where you left them, Mistress.” Ferne reached behind the cruet from Esmeralda’s view on the table and placed them before her.

Esmeralda stared at the jars. “I...I don’t know what’s gotten into me today, Ferne.”

The elder cook put her hand on Esmeralda’s shoulder, but said nothing. She wasn’t going to meddle in affairs that weren’t hers, but the troubles between Esmeralda and Saradoc weren’t exactly a secret. Just then both ladies could hear a couple of young voices coming towards the kitchen singing a song.

Frodo swung open the door as he and Merry walked in singing a very naughty ditty. Frodo froze when he saw the ladies--tongue and all. Undaunted, little Merry walked up to his mother and casually finished it off.

“Meriadoc!” Esmeralda reprimanded her son, “I’ve asked you not to sing that limerick anymore!” She turned her stern gaze over to the teenager, “It is not fitting for any child to be singing those sort of...words.”

Merry climbed up onto his chair with the small stack of books bound together with string, “Yes, Mummy.”

“Frodo, dear, please don’t teach him anymore of those songs.” She place a mug of milk on the table before each lad.

Blushing, Frodo sat down next to his young cousin at the table, “Yes, Ma’am.”

Ferne busied herself with setting breakfast before the lads and then retired to the pantry to plan elevenses.

Esmeralda poured herself a cup of hot tea and sat down next to her son. “Merry,” she looked at him, “wouldn’t you like to visit with Uncle Paladin today?”

Merry only looked at her, chewing a mouthful of food.

“Don’t you remember your Uncle Paladin?” She watched Merry shake his head. Esmeralda motioned with her hands and touched her hair as she spoke, “He’s tall and has dark hair.” Merry shook his head again.

“He doesn’t remember,” said Frodo.

“I suppose that’s to be expected,” she sighed. “It’s been a while since he’s seen my brother.”

Frodo drained the milk from his mug, then slowly set it down. What would he do while Merry was away? There were no other lads in the Hall that were his age. “How long will he be away?” he asked.

Esmeralda didn’t want to discuss a lengthy visit in front of her son. “Merry, run into the larder, please, and tell Miss Ferne that we will be needing provisions for our visit to Uncle Paladin.”

“Yes, Mummy.” Merry was quick to jump down from the chair and do his mother’s bidding; she was the one person in this world Merry felt loved by, besides his cousin Frodo, of course.

Esmeralda watched as her son left the kitchen and disappeared into the next room. She leaned across the table to speak in hushed tones, “Merry has never been away from home, from us ever in his life, and I thought to leave him with my brother for a few days while I came back here and got his father straightened out.” Frodo nodded. She continued, “I can’t see him staying with Paladin for a long period without me, so I don’t see more than a week.”

“I understand,” the teen answered. “I do want to see him happy.”

Esmeralda put her hand on her young cousin’s. “I know, Frodo,” she said, “and I, too, of course; that is why I feel pressed to do this.”

Just then, Merry came back in from the larder and made his announcement, “Miss Ferne says ‘yes, Mistress’, and that she will see to it.” Merry scooted back onto his chair, kneeling atop the books used to boost him to the table as he emptied his mug of milk. “Can I go outside, Mummy?”

“Why don’t you and Frodo go for a nice walk around the gardens?”

“The gardens? I want to go exploring by the river,” Merry said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

“I have an idea,” Frodo replied, “Why don’t we sit under the shade of our favorite apple tree and read one of Cousin Bilbo’s letters about his adventures!”

“Yes!” Merry smiled with delight. “I want to climb it, Frodo! And then I want to listen to the story about Gandalf turning the trolls into stone!”

Frodo caught Esmeralda’s eye as he got up to leave. She mouthed the words, “Thank you.”

* * *

“No! I don’t want to go, Mummy!” Merry clung onto Frodo, “I don’t want to visit Uncle Paldin!”

Esmeralda had her hands wrapped around Merry’s waist, gently tugging on him, “Son, we must leave now before we miss the coach!”

Frodo looked down at the boy who had a death grip around his leg, and asked Esmeralda, “May I please talk to him for just a minute?” He smiled at Merry and took his hands in his own, “Then I promise I will walk with you down to the ferry landing, all right?”

Esmeralda looked at the small time piece in her hand. “Very well, Frodo,” she said, “but we don’t have much time.” She turned to walk slowly down towards the ferry where the coach waited, followed by a servant carrying their baggage.

They were out of hearing range when Frodo crouched down to eye level with his little friend. “Why don’t you want to visit your uncle?” he asked.

“I do want to visit my uncle,” replied Merry.

“Then why are you making such a fuss?”

“Because I will miss you, and you’ll forget about me.”

Frodo was pleasingly shocked, “Forget about you? Merry, how can I forget about you?” He watched as the boy looked at the ground and shrugged. Frodo lifted the boy’s chin, “I could never forget about you, Merry! Never.” This made his cousin smile. Then Frodo returned the smile to the lad who reminded him so much of himself--lost and forgotten. “And know that I will always love you--always.”

Merry hugged his most favorite cousin in the world, “I love you, Frodo.”

Then Frodo took one of Merry’s hands and began walking down the path towards the landing. “Come on, then,” he said. “Now that we’ve declared we will never forget each other, let’s catch up to your Mum!”

An impish grin appeared on Merry’s face as he dashed off, “Last one is rotten egg!”

Chapter Three - Waiting in the Dark

The setting sun filled the inside of the coach with a golden light. Despite the jostling inside the carriage, Esmeralda rested her head against the side as her eyelids grew heavy. The rhythm of the ponies’ hooves were lulling her into far away dreams. After a light nibble of cheese and bread, little Merry lay asleep sprawled out on the rest of the bench with his head on her lap. She combed through his thick, light brown curls with her fingertips as he lay there so still. Such a sweet little boy, she thought. His father won’t even miss him. As they rode along in silence, her thoughts were filled with how she would deal with her obstinate husband.

“Tuckborough!!” Came a shout from the outside of the coach. Esmeralda awoke with a start. The sun was gone and the moon was high in the sky. She wiped her eyes and nudged Merry, still sleeping with his head on her lap.

Merry lifted his weary head, “Is it Uncle Paldin?

“No, sweetie,” she yawned, “but....we are in Tuckborough now.”

Mother and son got up and stepped off the carriage into the deep of night. Esmeralda gazed about the square; she didn’t remember Tuckborough being so dark. As the coachman fetched their bags, Esmeralda helped Merry put on his summer jacket, as there was a bit of a chill in the late summer air. The driver dropped the bags at her feet as she was still buttoning up her son. “Are ye travelin’ far on foot, Miss?”

“No, sir,” Esmeralda answered. “My brother is supposed to drive here from Whitwell and claim us.”

The coachman took in the dark and empty town market. Not a soul stirring about. The only folks around that he could see were the patrons at the local Oak Leaf Inn. “I’d be careful, if I was ye, Miss. Not a lot of good comes from that Inn this late at night. I’d stay with ye, Miss, but I’ve other passengers goin’ on to Great Smials.”

Esmeralda gazed uneasily towards the tavern, but smiled gratefully at the coachman’s kindness, “Thank you, but we’ll be all right.” Paladin had better get here soon!

She picked up the lighter bag and tucked it under her arm, then grasped the other bag and held it in the hand of the same arm. With her free hand she grabbed Merry’s and they walked towards the lighted porch of the Inn. Sitting in the light of a porch, tavern or not, would be better than standing in the darkness and not being seen by her brother. When they reached the porch, she dropped the bags, opened one up and pulled out two cloaks--her own and Merry’s. She placed the small one around the drowsy boy and instructed him to lie against the bags. In minutes the boy was back to sleep.

A good fifteen minutes had passed when Esmeralda heard a raucous of laughter, then two slightly drunken patrons exited the tavern. “Aye, Ferdie,” said the first hobbit, “it is a sad day indeed when your friends tell you you’ve had too much beer for a game of darts!” Esmeralda instantly recognized the Tookish accent of her cousins.

“It was your own fault, Addie,” the second one reasoned, clinging to the wooden post on the porch, “If you had actually aimed for Sigi’s backside, you couldn’t have asked for a better bull's-eye!” They both fell into drunken laughter.

Addie shook his head at the memory, “I couldn’t help it--it was too large.” He waved his hand towards the tavern doors, “Eh! I would’ve hit him anyway if I’d aimed for the East Farthing!” Apparently, Addie’s aim had much to be desired after a few pints; Cousin Sigismond’s backside vouched for that.

Ferdie’s attention was abruptly given to the woman sitting on the edge of the porch. “Such a lovely lass! What brings you to the Oak Leaf at this hour?” His staggered in Esmeralda’s direction, drunken eyes were fixed on the beautiful lady before him.

Her eyes flitted from one cousin to the other as Ferdie drew closer. Esmeralda stood up and took a step back. Ferdie got so close she could smell the beer on his breath, startling her. As he got even closer, Esmeralda backed further towards the porch railing, but not before setting her fist to his nose.

“Ahhh! You broke my nose!” Ferdie cupped his face as blood spurted out from his nostrils.

Addie came over laughing, “I hardly think she broke your nose, you ninny! Don’t you recognize your own kin?”

“I can’t!” he yelled back. “My nose is broken!”

Addie’s sadistic side was surfacing. “No it’s not! Here, let me wiggle it!”

“OUCH!” Ferdie pushed away his cousin’s hands from his face.

“It’s not broken, but it serves you right for trying to frighten her.” Addie squinted in the bright lantern light at Esmeralda, “You’re Paladin’s little sister, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she answered, still up against the railing. “Is this how the Tooks greet family these days?”

Addie looked over to his friend now sitting on the edge of the porch, cradling his nose between his hands. “Of course not, but you’ve been away for a long time, Essie. Don’t those Brandybucks ever allow you visit your kin? Or do they themselves never leave that overgrown anthill they call Brandy Hall?”

“They do indeed!” She finally laughed at her cousin’s jest, then her smile disappeared, “But it’s been hard to get away these past few years.”

Addie gave her a grim smile, “So I’ve heard. I’m sorry about Saramac.”

“Thank you,” she smiled sadly. “but that was six years ago. He will always live here,” she said, placing her hand over her heart.

“Are you waiting for Paladin?” he asked. Esmeralda nodded. Then he noticed the small bundle lying against the baggage in the corner. He went over to investigate it, and smiled broadly when he saw the sleeping boy. “Is this the little prince of Buckland?” he whispered.

“Stop, Addie!” she smiled. “His name is Merry, and I have never let anyone refer to him in any special way, with any title. I don’t want him to grow up with a swelled head.”

Addie looked at her, “That would never happen with you as his mother.” Then he sat down on the edge of the porch, “We may as well sit and talk for a while because I won’t leave you here alone in the dark with all the riff-raff inside,” he said, nodding towards the tavern. So all three hobbits sat down for a chat to catch up on news while waiting for Paladin. But Ferdie remained silent and only held his nose. They didn’t have long to wait; a few minutes later a cart led by a pony arrived with haste into the Market Square. It slowed as the ponies circled around the square and then came towards the Inn.

“Hullo, Essie!” yelled the familiar voice. Paladin jumped down from the cart and ran over to the porch and took his little sister up in his arms. He gave her a fierce hug before setting her down again. “I’m sorry I’m late. Looks like you’ve had good company, though.” He gave his friend’s shoulder a slap. “Thanks, Addie.” He saw the boy stirring awake in the corner. “Goodness, Essie--he’s growing up so fast!” Then he put his arm around his sister, “Let’s get you both home.” Then he turned to Addie, “Do you and Ferdie need a ride?”

“No, no, Paladin, we both brought a pony, and I believe the Smials are a bit out of the way in the other direction. We’ll be fine; get your sister and nephew home to bed.”

“I’m sorry about your nose, Ferdinand!” Esmeralda called out. Ferdie only replied with a wave of his hand.

“Don’t be--he deserved it, I tell you!” Addie’s cackling laughter could be heard coming from the livery stables.

Paladin picked up her bags and then looked at his younger sister in amazement, “You did that to him?” She sheepishly nodded. He chuckled as he threw the bags in the back of the cart, “You haven’t changed a bit!”

Chapter Four - The First Day

“Wake up, Merry!” Esmeralda gently pried away the warm blankets from her son.

Merry rolled over, barely opening his eyes. “Hmm.”

Esmeralda rubbed his back, “Wake up, love, breakfast is waiting.”

Merry opened his eyes. He did a lot of traveling yesterday; nibbling on cold breads, meats and cheeses provided by Miss Ferne all the way to Tuckborough. He deeply inhaled the aroma of sausages and eggs cooking then rolled back over to face his mother, stretching out his arm and leg muscles.

“Come now, sweetie, sit up for me,” she urged him. Merry sat up, still groggy. Esmeralda lifted the nightshirt off her son and dressed him in fresh clothes. Pouring water into the basin, she dampened a washcloth and worked up a lather with the bit of soap lying on the bureau. She then wiped his face and hands then combed his tangled curls.

Merry started to wake up more, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “Mummy?”

“Hmm?” She handed him a wooden stick with small, stiff bristles, “Here, clean your teeth.”

“Is Dad coming to visit Uncle Paldin, too?” Merry struggled to talk around the bristles in his mouth.

“No, love, he’s staying at home,” she answered him. She then handed him a glass of water and held the basin in front of him. “Rinse.”

A knock was heard on the door, then it opened, “Good morning, Essie!” Then seeing the small boy, “Oh, there’s the baby!”

Esmeralda smiled as she hugged her sister-in-law, “Hullo, Tina! Well, he’s not quite a baby anymore.”

“I know my letters!” Merry chimed in proudly, as if knowing his letters were all the proof in the world that he needed to show he was not a baby anymore.

Esmeralda stood the small boy in front of her as she introduced him to her sister-in-law. “Say hullo to your Aunt Eglantine, Merry.”

Merry had trouble repeating his aunt’s name. “Good morning, Aunt...Aunt...Auntie!” he answered.

Eglantine laughed, lifting the child into her arms, “Aunt Tina will do! The last time that I saw you, you were Pervinca’s age.” Merry gave her a quizzical look. “You’ve never seen your newest cousin, have you?” she asked. Merry shook his head. “You will meet her and your other cousins at breakfast.” She beamed at her little nephew, “You’ve grown so much, Merry. I’ll wager you can read and write already, too!”

“Yes, I can!” he replied triumphantly.

“Little words,” said Esmeralda.

Eglantine held Merry’s chin in a loving display of affection. “You are such a clever little laddie!”

“And I know lots of songs! Frodo learned me lots of them!” Merry started to sing one.

“No, Merry,” Esmeralda covered his mouth as he started the naughty limerick. “Not now, sweetie!” Her face reddened a bit as one particular word escaped his lips before her hand squelched it.

Eglantine raised her eyebrows. “From Frodo, eh? What a marvelous influence that lad is,” she said flatly, then put her nephew down. Taking his small hand in her own, she smiled at him, “Let’s go to breakfast, shall we?”

* * *

Merry put another bite of sausage into his mouth. He kept a guarded eye on the big hobbit at the head of the table. He was a little taller than his own dad with darker hair just as his mother described him back at Brandy Hall. What she didn’t tell him was that his uncle was quick to smile, laugh, and tousle the nearest child’s head. Paladin caught Merry looking at him and winked. Merry didn’t know what to make of all this, so he looked away.

“Pimpernel,” Paladin spoke up, “why don’t you take Merry outside to play when you’re both finished eating?”

“After my chores?” Pimpernel was an odd child; she actually liked her chores--with the exception of shoveling after the animals. At the tender age of eight, she loved every aspect of living on a farm--from helping her father out in the fields, to feeding and caring for the various farm animals. But mostly she liked riding the ponies or swinging from the hay rope that was tied to the highest beam in the barn.

Paladin shrugged his broad shoulders, “You can take him around with you most anywhere, but he’s still too young to be carrying the heavy water buckets and such. Why don’t you show him the baby chicks?”

Pimpernel turned to her cousin, “Have you ever seenchickens before?” Merry shook his head. “Ever seen a pig?” He shook his head again. Pimpernel was genuinely surprised; she thought everyone lived on a farm. “Don’t you have any animals?” Merry only looked at her.

Esmeralda chuckled, answering at her niece’s questions, “We have a few animals kept nearby in the barn, Pimpernel, but he’s never been out to see any of them.”

“I can show him all of ours,” she said. “Then I know of some fun things we can do after.”

Esmeralda was trying to get her shy little Merry to warm up to his cousins--especially his uncle. “That sounds like fun, doesn’t it Merry?”

Merry shook his head. “Merry Brandybuck!” Esmeralda took her son by the hand and led him just outside of the kitchen. She kneeled down to his level and whispered, “You’re not being very nice to your cousin, Merry. She is trying to be friendly with you! You will go outside with her, and you will spend the day with her. You cannot spend your days inside the smial. Then her countenance eased and smiled, “You’ll be all right with Pimpernel. She seems to like you, Merry.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he responded.

She held his chin in her hand, looking into his blue eyes, “You’ll have all sorts of fun today.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Esmeralda disliked pushing Merry into doing something he clearly didn’t want to, but all she had to do was remind herself of all the little obnoxious ditties Frodo had taught him.

When they both returned to the breakfast table, Merry finished off his milk. He then looked at his cousin. “I’m done now.”

Pimpernel drank the rest of her milk then said, “Let’s go.”

The morning sun was bright in Merry’s eyes as he followed his cousin around the barn to the bin that held chicken feed. She used a small pail to scoop some up and then led the way out to the coop.

Merry held his nose as they drew near it. “It smells!” he said.

“You’ll get used to it,” his cousin replied, then threw a fistful of feed before the gathering crowd of rooster and hens. “Try it.” She held out the pail for her younger cousin to scoop up the feed.

Merry grabbed a fistful to throw, but failed to throw it far enough and was bowled over by a bunch of squawking chickens and feeling a few sharp pecks as he tried to fend them off.

“Ouch! Get them off me!” he yelled, running off and patting down his shoulders and arms.

“Let me see you.” Pimpernel walked up and examined Merry’s face and shirt and then laughed, “oh, you’ll live!” She took the pail and scattered the rest of the contents, then said, “follow me.”

Merry followed his cousin to the backside of the barn where Pimpernel told him to wait. A few minutes passed before she returned with a large wheelbarrow. “Jump in!” she shouted, but she could barely control the large barrow herself. Merry was a good sport, so he hopped inside, but his momentum tipped him and the wheelbarrow onto the other side.

“Wait! Let’s try it again.” Pimpernel picked up the barrow to ready it for another run.

“No, thank you,” said Merry, standing up and rubbing his bum. “I don’t think I want to play with the wheelbarrow anymore.”

Pimpernel decided to take it easy on her young cousin for a while. “Let’s finish my chores and then we’ll go see the baby chicks.” They toddled off back inside the barn to finish feeding the animals.

Chapter Five - Life’s Choices

Paladin stood behind his sister; both watching the children going off towards the barn. “He’ll be fine, Essie. Pimpernel is a good lass and won’t allow any harm to come to him.”

She turned to face her brother and sighed, “I know I must seem over protective of him. It’s just that...I....” Esmeralda wiped away the tears that welled up. “Sometimes...I think I’m all he has.”

Paladin put his arm around her; he was not entirely unaware of his sister’s fears. “Saradoc has not recovered and come out of his study, eh?” She shook her head.

“I’ve talked to him, Paladin, I’ve tried to reason with him....and recently--the other night, we were shouting and arguing at one another. We’ve never shouted at each other before,” she sniffed, “and Merry--he was right there in the room when it all came out.”

Paladin looked over and to his wife. “Come with us, Tina, to my study; I think another woman might help.”

Eglantine got up and handed their two year old over to Pearl. “Take Pervinca outside for a while, please.” Pearl took her little sister by the hand and led her towards the door.

In the study, Eglantine sat next to Esmeralda and comforted her as she poured out her heart to her brother. “I’ve never heard him utter such vile words before, Paladin,” she said. “I saw the empty bottle on his desk and…I don’t know what came over me, but found myself shouting in return.”

“You said Merry was there,” Paladin pressed her for more information. “Did he hear all that was said?”

Esmeralda nodded, “He heard everything, Paladin--everything.”

Paladin sighed. “What did Merry do?” he asked. “Has anyone talked to him?”

“He ran off and hid somewhere in the upper levels for several hours. It was Frodo who found him and brought him back,” she answered. “I haven’t even talked to him yet; I’m almost afraid to. He behaves as if he never heard what was spoken, and he still adores his father.” Esmeralda fidgeted with the handkerchief in her hands. “Paladin,” she looked at her brother, “I...I want to return to Brandy Hall and...”

Paladin watched his sister, “and do what, Essie?”

“I want to go back and confront him. If Sara doesn’t listen, then I will give him a choice.”

“What kind of choice would that be?” he asked. “Merry is his son as well. You cannot simply keep Merry here without reason; Sara won’t have it and neither will Rory.”

Esmeralda looked at Eglantine and then her brother. “Sara has already made his feelings about Merry quite clear. Why would he care?”

Paladin spoke from an obstinate father’s point of view, “Merry is a Brandybuck, Essie. Out of sheer pride Sara won’t allow his son to live anywhere but Brandy Hall.” Then he said further, “Whatever he said the other night, Essie, I’m sure he is ruing those words already. It had to have been the drink talking through him.”

Esmeralda’s face fell. “Perhaps.”

Eglantine watched the entire discourse from the beginning. She had no idea her sister-in-law’s home was in such turmoil. She felt helpless in that all should could do at the moment was lend her friend a shoulder to cry on.

Paladin pulled his chair closer to his sister and took her hands in his. “Essie, Sara is not himself. I’ve never known him to drink other than at a celebration. Does Rory or Gilda know about any of this?”

Esmeralda sighed, “No.”

Paladin sat back in his chair. “They need to know,” he said. “So no one has talked to Merry at all?”

She shook her head, wiping her tears, “No--as I said, even though he heard everything his father said, he still loves him so I don’t believe Merry really understood it all. The shouting seemed to frighten him more than anything.”

Paladin shook his head. “No, Essie, I think he understands more than you know, or can even guess. You said yourself he ran away and hid in another part of the Hall. Someone needs to talk to him soon. If not, then his feelings may surface in ways that you will not like. Being five years old, he may not know how to speak his feelings, but if someone he loves and trusts were to help him express it, he would speak volumes.”

Esmeralda looked at her brother. “Would you speak to him?”

“I would love to, Essie,” he replied, “but the boy doesn’t even know me yet.”

“He will in due time. If you,” She looked at her sister-in-law, “and Tina would allow him to stay for a short period, he will come to know and love you both.”

Paladin was incredulous. “Essie, you don’t know what you ask. You and Merry are welcome to stay as long as you desire, but Merry--alone? He’s a little boy who still needs his mother. You can’t just leave him here alone and go off back to Brandy Hall.” He paced back and forth trying to think of another way, but he could think of none. Each plan came back to the same conclusion as his sister. He, too, felt that young Merry should not to return home a destructive setting if it could be helped at all--at least until the current issues were resolved. Which would be the lesser of the two evils, he asked himself. “You must stay here with him for a few days at least, let him get comfortable, then we’ll talk to him together. If he seems fine with it, then he can stay. If he gives any indication that he will not stay without you, then you must not put him through that horror.”

“He’s already been through horrors, Paladin; mine and Sara’s argument being one of them. Which would be worse--going back to a father who pays more attention to his ponies than his own son? Or the misery of staying with kin that I know will love him and shower him with kindness and affection?”

Paladin couldn’t deny that. He loved his own children more than life itself, and his nieces and nephews weren‘t far behind. “Very well,” He relented, “I only hope we’re doing the best thing for Merry.”

Esmeralda got up and hugged him. “We are, Paladin,” she said, “thank you.”

Chapter Six - A Mother’s View

A couple of days later, Esmeralda was observing Merry sitting at the desk in their room writing out his numbers and letters. She watched how he so diligently wrote out the letters of his name on his practice paper. Already the shaky lines of his handwriting were disappearing while smoother lines took over. Her little son sat upon the same set of old books bound with a cord that he used at the kitchen table to give him a little height. Despite being away from his tutor, Esmeralda insisted Merry keep up with his lessons.

Esmeralda called to her son from the bed, “Merry, sweetie, come sit next to Mummy.” She patted the space next to her. She watched as the small child slid down from his chair then climbed up onto the large bed. He seemed so little and vulnerable against such an uncaring father. Deep inside though, Esmeralda knew that Saradoc cared for their child, but it would appear she would have to uncover the rank of walls that her husband had built up over the past few years in order to find it. Did he know--or was Merry unaware of the troubles in his life? Her heart filled with more than enough love for two people; she suddenly reached over and pulled the little boy onto her lap and cradled him in her arms. She made certain he did not see the tears in her eyes. He must have sensed her need--or her melancholy--because the normally restless child sat comfortably in her embrace.

Merry looked up at his mother and saw her sweep her hand underneath her eyes; she was crying. He asked, “Mummy, why are you sad?”

She sighed, still holding him in her bosom. “I am sad, love,” she answered, “but…I can’t properly put it all into words right now. Is it all right if we go talk to Uncle Paladin and see if he can help?” Although Merry had warmed up a little bit more to her affectionate brother, Esmeralda knew he was still a bit timid around him. She was relieved to see Merry nod. Esmeralda set him down on the floor. Taking his hand in hers, they walked out of their room towards Paladin’s study.

* * *

Paladin jumped at the sound of someone knocking at the door, nicking the side of his finger with his carving knife. The door was already open but because he was so engrossed in the project at hand, he did not hear them approach the door. The wound stung a little, though it gave his thoughts a diversion. He still had no clear idea as to what he was going to say to his young nephew, but all the same, someone had to do it and soon. He laid aside his tools along with the round shaped piece of wood on his desk top. He got up, making his way towards the sitting area. “Hullo, Essie. I see Merry is with you.” He held out his hand to the child.

Merry hesitated, but took the large hand in his little one and shook it. “Good afternoon, Uncle Paldin.” Merry couldn’t help but peer around the side of his uncle to glimpse at what he was carving out of the piece of wood.

Another diversion! Paladin smiled, “Would you care to see it?” Merry nodded, so Paladin led the boy over to his desk, lifting him into the large leather chair. “Careful of the tools, Merry; they’re sharp.” He validated his advice by showing Merry his recent cuts and nicks.

Merry gazed wonderingly at the sort-of-round-shaped piece of wood. He looked up at his uncle. “What is it?” he asked.

Paladin leaned down into his ear, “It’s going to be a very special gift for a very special boy.” He winked at Merry and smiled.

The little Brandybuck tried his best to think of another little boy in the smial, but there were none; all his cousins here were lasses. He realized his uncle was speaking of him. Merry pointed at himself and asked, “Me?” He watched his uncle nod. Then he puzzled, “Am I special?”

The twinge in his heart hurt worse than the recent cut on his finger. He glanced at his sister then picked the boy up to his shoulders, touching his forehead with his own. “Hasn’t your dad told you that you are special?”

Merry shook his head. “No, sir. My dad is busy all the time.”

Paladin raised his eyebrows in mock disbelief. “All the time?” he asked.

“All the time,” Merry answered.

“Well,” Paladin said, carrying the boy back towards the couch, “I am going to tell you then. You, Merry Brandybuck, are very special.” When they reached the couch, Paladin sat down and set Merry in his lap. Well, here goes, he thought to himself. “I’ve heard that your cousin, Frodo isn’t busy all the time. Do you like cousin, Frodo?”

Merry nodded his head vigorously and grew excited. “Yes!” he said. “We play lots of games and…and we sing songs, and he…he tells me lots more stories!”

“Can you sing a song for your uncle?” Paladin smirked at his sister sitting across from him. With a smial full of lasses, he rarely got to partake in his old boyhood songs.

“Paladin…,” Esmeralda tried to warn her brother.

Merry went full-tilt into one his naughtiest limericks, and was completely delighted that his Uncle Paladin sang along with him. Esmeralda only shook her head.

“When the sails are high

And the wind is strong

The night is as dark

As the day is long.

We work ‘til our bodies

Are dead to the world

We hitch up the lines

The sails are now furled.

We row into town

With the lasses we flirt

In hopes that they

Will lift--”

“Paladin!” Esmeralda yelled over their voices, interrupted their singing. “I will not have Merry singing those….those--indecent songs!”

Paladin sheepishly looked at Merry. “Your Mum is a lass,” he said. “We ought to respect that.” He then caught his sister’s more urgent gaze. I suppose that was the last diversion…

Paladin cleared his throat before starting one more time. “Merry,” he said, “I know you spend a lot of time with Frodo; did you and he play a game the night before you traveled here?”

“What sort of game?”

“The hide and seek game,” Paladin answered casually.

“No, sir.” Merry explained further, “We haven’t played the hide and seek game in long time.”

Paladin asked gently, “Then can you tell me why were you hiding in the wardrobe?” He noticed that Merry stiffened when he mentioned the wardrobe.

Merry fell silent, but it would be impolite to not answer his uncle’s question. “Don’t know,” he finally said.

“Were you hiding because your dad and I were shouting?” Esmeralda asked softly; she was trying to help her son. Merry sat still for a minute then nodded his head.

Paladin hugged the child closer for the next question. “Merry lad, what did you hear your dad say?” Merry said nothing for a long time, then Paladin saw him wipe his eyes. “Merry,” Paladin wrapped his arms completely around his nephew; wanting to shield the boy from any further suffering. “You don’t have to say it. It hurts, doesn’t it?” Merry nodded, sniffling, he wiped his nose with his sleeve. Paladin took his sister’s handkerchief and helped the boy clean his face.

Suddenly Esmeralda had an impulse. She kneeled down in front of her son, still sitting in her brother’s lap. “Merry, what happened in the study,” she slowly shook her head, “did have to do with you, but love--it wasn’t your fault. Your dad does love you, Merry, but he just doesn’t know how to show it right now.” She ran her hands thorough his soft curls, “I’m going back to Brandy Hall today to talk to him; so that we won’t be shouting at each other anymore.”

Merry looked up at his mother. “I’m going home, too!”

“Merry, I--” Esmeralda was cut off by her brother.

Paladin got up and sat Merry down on the couch, letting his sister hold her son in conversation. He gently kissed Merry’s head and quietly left the room. He stood out in the hallway leaning against the wall, hands clenched in fists. Anger was rising in him to the point of going red in the face. How dare he, Paladin thought, How dare that hobbit call himself a father? He took in a deep breath to calm himself. He left the two in the study as he went out to the barn to hitch up the ponies.

Chapter Seven - The Business of Family

Paladin’s head was full of swirling thoughts as he pulled up the lane. He had just returned from taking Esmeralda to Tuckborough to send her off on the coach back to Buckland. He sat for a moment in reflection before unhitching the cart and putting the ponies out to pasture. After locking the gate, Paladin shuffled back towards the smial he had come to love; he knew that it was filled with the warmth and love of his family. His compassion went out to his little nephew; Merry did not have any siblings, nor a father who truly cared for him at the present. He knew in his heart what he would do.

Paladin stepped inside the kitchen and found his young daughters busy at play, or doing chores. “Where’s your mother?” he asked.

Pearl was stirring a pot boiling with something that smelled very good. She turned around to her father. “She’s in Pervinca’s room with Merry,” Pearl answered, giving a quick glance towards her sisters then put her attention back to what she was stirring.

Paladin did a double-take as he glanced at Pimpernel tying yet another ribbon in her younger sister’s thin baby hair. He looked at the head full of tiny ponytails, “Pimpernel, that’s enough ribbons, don’t you think?”

“She likes lots of ribbons, Papa. Right Pervinca?” The older girl laid down the hairbrush and grasped the scissors to snip another length of ribbon from the spool. Pervinca said nothing; she was engrossed with grasping as many of the loose pieces of ribbon in her chubby little hand as she could.

Paladin had a bad feeling that something drastic was waiting to happen. “Pearl, watch your sisters while I find your mother.”

He quickly made his way to the nursery to find his wife rocking a small boy in her arms. Paladin saw the child was breathing erratically from a long, hard cry. Eglantine held Merry close to her bosom, stroking his damp curls. He shook his head sadly as he brought the other chair near to them and sat in it. “How is he?”

“About as well as can be expected for a small laddie who’s had a very bad day.” Eglantine paused from smoothing his hair, “He’s almost asleep.”

Just then Pimpernel came into the room leading her baby sister by the hand. “Look at Pervinca, Momma! Isn’t she beautiful? I did it all myself.”

Eglantine and Paladin stared in horror as Pimpernel turned Pervinca about, showing off all of her tiny ponytails. Some tails were cut almost to the ribbon while some were still long. Her hair in the front reminded Paladin of curly stair steps going up and down.

Paladin buried his face in his hands, sinking into his chair, “I asked Pearl to watch them.”

Eglantine looked at him, “Don’t blame Pearl, love. Watching the girls is ultimately our job. Pearl offered to help with supper while I tended to Merry. She’s too young to cook dinner and mind her sisters at the same time. I’m positive that Pearl was watching them at some level.” Eglantine patted her husband’s hand, “Let’s just be thankful her hair was all that was damaged.”

She rose up and put Merry in her husband’s lap. Taking the hands of both girls, she paraded them back out towards the kitchen, “Come now, ladies, we have cleaning up to do in the kitchen.”

Ultimately our job, mused Paladin. Too bad Saradoc doesn’t feel the same way. Merry stirred in his uncle’s lap as the others left and rubbed his eyes. “Where’s Mummy?” 

Paladin sighed. “Your Mummy is safely on her way to Buckland,” he said, squeezing him into a soft hug. “She‘ll be returning for you in five days.” Paladin watched the child wipe his nose with his sleeve and looked as if he would burst into tears again.

Paladin remembered the object he had finished while waiting with his sister for the coach. “Merry, do you remember that gift I showed you earlier?” he asked. “Would you like to see it?” The boy nodded his head. “Then come with me.” Paladin took Merry’s hand and led him back to the study.

When he entered the room, Merry saw wood shavings were still on the desk as they were earlier. Now, instead of a chunk of wood, a round-ish object lay on the desk. It was wide at the top with a groove going round it where a string would be wound through, and then narrowing to a point at the bottom.

“A spinning top!” Merry exclaimed. “Cousin Berilac has a spinning top, but he won’t let me play with it. He lets Merimas play with it, but he says I’m too little.”

“Well, this is your very own spinning top.” Paladin handed the toy to Merry. “I just finished it today as I waited with your Mummy. Tomorrow we can paint it.”

Merry was examining every inch of his new toy. “Can I paint it yellow? Yellow is my favorite color.”

Paladin chuckled, “You may paint it whatever color you want, Merry; it’s yours.”

From this moment on, Merry no longer saw his uncle as big and intimidating. He looked up at the gracious hobbit that he would come to love more than his own father and smiled, “Thank you, Uncle Paldin.”

* * *

Much later, after the children were all put to bed, Paladin and Eglantine snuggled against each other in their own bed; the only place the two got any privacy together. As they often did, they talked about events of the day, or plans for the next--sometimes about their future. Eglantine asked, “What are you going to do about the fields? Do you plan on staying at home all week with Merry?”

Paladin nuzzled up to her hair, smelling the sweet fragrance, “Oh, I thought to let my newly hired assistant step up and do most of the counting and selling. He’s ready for it--he should be; I taught him everything he knows!”

“That Woodcot fellow?”

“Hmm,” Paladin kissed her neck.

“Paladin!” She laughed, “Let’s talk family business first.”

“This isn’t family business?”

Eglantine smiled, “You know what I mean.”

Paladin leaned back with his elbow atop his pillow. “Talk to me, dearest.”

Eglantine turned around to face her husband. “I’ve been worried about Merry. What will happen if Sara doesn’t listen to Essie?”

Paladin sighed, “I worry about that, too. It’s disturbing to know that Merry has a father who... I don’t know, Tina. When my father was alive, I just couldn’t imagine not being close to him--even when I was growing up. If we ever did have a son, I would like to believe I would never treat him as Sara has treated his own.”

Eglantine agreed, “He’s such a sweet little lad. Its too bad Frodo got hold of him and taught him all those distasteful limericks. We should keep a close eye out for him.”

“As always,” said Paladin, though he kept quiet about the limericks.

“You know Paladin,” Eglantine began, combing the stray curls around his ear with her fingers, “if we were ever to have another child, lad or lass, you’d continue on being a good father.”

Paladin looked his bride in her lovely hazel eyes and held her close. “That is the second best compliment anyone has ever told me.”

“What was the first?”

“That I had married the most beautiful and wonderful lass in the Shire.” Then he kissed her.

Rather odd note : About the hair-thing; I based this on a real situation. My mother left me (6 yrs) and my sister (8 yrs) alone with our father to go to some ladies’ type function....we wanted to play Barber and I couldn’t see the need to pretend--after all, the barber shears weren’t plugged in! For years I thought I was rather odd in this case, but a few months after I wrote this story for ff.net, a co-worker’s six-year-old daughter did the exact same thing. Yes! I feel vindicated now!

Chapter Eight - Tending the Downtrodden

Later that same night, the sickle moon was starting it’s decent towards the horizon as the family slept peacefully in their little farm smial. Everyone was sleeping comfortably in their warm feather beds when out of nowhere, a child’s scream pierced the tranquility of the slumbering Tooks.

Eglantine was the first one to her feet and pulled on her night-coat. She took a lit candle, then quickly padded out to the hallway heading straight for Merry’s room--followed by a groggy husband.

Merry was sitting up in his bed, his face was scarlet from screaming and crying so fiercely. Eglantine sat down on the bed next to him, trying to soothe him back to sleep, but the boy fell back onto his pillows and cried all the more.

Silently Paladin watched the entire scene unfold. He knew that Merry was upset over his parents. No child should have to go through this, he thought.

“He’s had a bad dream and he’s upset,” Eglantine said, cradling him on her lap. “Poor little laddie.”

“Mummy,” Merry sobbed. “Where’s Mummy?”

“Shhh.” Eglantine rocked him there on the bed. “You’re safe with auntie, Merry.” That didn’t console him in the least. She noticed Pearl and Pimpernel standing in the doorway. “Go on back to bed, girls, he’s just had an ugly dream.”

“May I?” Paladin asked, holding out his arms towards the child; he wanted to try and quiet him.

“You can try while I put the girls to bed. I’ll return as soon as I am finished.” Eglantine gave him the crying lad as she got up from the bed, ushering her daughters back to their rooms.

Paladin held Merry in his arms. Surely I can calm a small boy from a bad dream, he thought. Paladin tried walking the room as he cradled him while talking softly to him, or holding the boy up to his shoulder as he hummed the naughty ditty from the day before. But nothing seemed to help. Paladin was visibly relieved when his wife returned a few moments later.

Eglantine smirked as she took the crying boy back from her husband. Paladin watched as Eglantine sat propped up against the pillows and rocked their little nephew, humming a lullaby. A few minutes went by before Merry began to slowly quiet down. Eglantine whispered to her gawking husband. “It’s the female touch,” she said with a wink.

Paladin watched the whimpering lad finally stop crying. It was his turn to smirk. “No, Tina,” he said, “I think it’s the touch of his fingers in his mouth.”

Eglantine took a bit of blanket and covered Merry, still cradled in her lap, whispering, “He can stick whatever fingers he wants to into his mouth at this hour of the night.” Merry stopped crying, though his erratic gasps would keep him awake for another few minutes.

Paladin handed her a handkerchief to clean Merry’s face. “I wonder if he’s had night terrors at home.”

“They can’t be like this one,” she said. “He misses his mother, dear. I wish Essie had heeded your advice.”

Paladin sat and waited with his wife, pondering what sort of activity he would plan for him and his nephew tomorrow. Something that will get Merry’s mind off of missing his mother. He had an idea. “I’ll take him on a camp out tomorrow,” he said, speaking in his regular voice.

Eglantine gave her husband a stern look as a sign that Merry was asleep. She whispered, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m thinking of ways to occupy him--to keep his mind off Essie,” he replied--in a whisper this time.

Eglantine thought about it, then nodded. “A camp out seems like a fine idea. I’ll pack your provisions right after breakfast tomorrow.”

* * *

“Shhh!” Paladin instructed Merry with his finger to his mouth. They crept in the dimness of dusk towards the pond. Merry peered over the high grasses and watched as his uncle pounced on the quarry, unaware of its predicament. Paladin held onto his prize as he and Merry ran out of the shadow of the trees to the fading sunset. Both crouched down on their knees for a better look at their prey.

Merry startled at the large green face and black eyes. His own were wide in typical child-like wonder. He looked at his uncle, “Can I touch it?”

Paladin smiled, marveling at his own renewed wonder. “Do you want to hold it?”

Merry was in awe, of the frog....and his uncle. “I can hold it?”

“Sure! Just don’t squeeze him.” Paladin handed the frog over to Merry to examine closer.

“It’s cold!” Merry held his breath as he brought it closer to his own face. “Can I keep it?”

“No, Merry, we can’t keep him.”

“Why not?” Asked Merry, still looking over the creature.

“Because he has a job to do here in this pond, just as we all have a job to do in the Shire.” He watched as his nephew turned the frog about. “Besides, what if it’s a she and not a he? She may have babies to feed.”

“I don’t like my Mum to be gone, neither,” Merry spoke to the frog, “So I’ll put you back.” Paladin gazed as the young boy walked towards the pond to release the captured prey.

After Merry ran back to Paladin, they returned to camp hand-in-hand towards their makeshift shelter; a blanket pinned to a low tree limb, then slanted and pinned to the ground with wooden pegs.

Merry jumped onto his bedroll and scooted under the blanket. He could see a few stars twinkling between the branches. “Uncle Paldin?”

“Hmm?” Paladin was busy arranging his own blankets.

“Where do the stars come from? Are new ones made every night?”

Paladin smiled; he was enjoying this little camping out as much as his little nephew. “No, Merry, they are the same stars each night, but they do change every so often, then come back at a later day.”

“But where do they come from?”

“Well,” Paladin said as he placed more wood onto their camp fire, “my great-great-grandfather, Gerontius Took--also known as the Old Took--told my father that the stars were made by the Father of the Elves.”

“The Elfs have a dad?”

He looked into Merry’s big eyes full of wonder. “Yes, but we can’t see him from here,” Paladin answered, then crawled underneath his own blankets.

“Oh.” Merry was taking in everything his uncle spoke.

Paladin snuggled close to Merry, “Do you know what else?”

“What?”

“Do you see that bright star? The one that’s towards the north?” Paladin pointed to where Merry could see it.

Merry had learned from Frodo that North was “up” and South was “down”. He followed up to where Paladin pointed. Merry gasped, “That one is bigger than all of them!”

“Yes, and do you know why?” asked Paladin. Merry shook his head. “The Father of the Elves made it brighter than all the rest because it is the one star that guides everyone who is lost. All you have to remember is that is sits in the north sky.”

Merry stared at the most brilliant star in the darkening sky. “You mean when I get lost, the bright star will take me home?”

“No,” Paladin grinned, “What I mean is that when you are lost, the star will be your guide to help you find home, but it won’t take you there. Just remember the star is in the north.”

Merry continued to gaze at it until weariness swept over him. The whole, long day he and Paladin went exploring, wading in the nearby stream, skimming rocks, or just traipsing along the little glen located no more than a mile from the back of Paladin’s Smial. As his eyes closed, he felt his uncle kiss his head. Merry fell asleep safe and secure in the loving shelter of his uncle.

Chapter Nine - Under His Wings

Paladin lay on his back in the shade of a tree gazing up at the clear blue sky. He watched as a few puffs of white clouds floated towards the horizon of tall grasses. He smiled to himself as he filled his lungs with the sweet fragrance of honeysuckle that played upon the breeze. With all the responsibilities of being an adult--being a husband and father for the past fifteen or so years--he’d completely forgotten what it was like to be a young boy. It was his little nephew, Merry, who had been reminding him the past several days. After their camp out, Merry asked the following evening if they could go out and catch fire flies, then yesterday they went out climbing trees. Well, Merry did most of the climbing, but he was assisted by his uncle. Today they decided to go fishing. Merry had never been fishing before, while Paladin would go quite often with his own dad when he was young. Never really caught much then--or now, but it was the joy of being with his dad that Paladin remembered the most. Would Merry remember this day years from now?

He opened one eye and lifted his head to check on his nephew. He could see Merry lying on his back not too far from him, hands under his head and one leg crossed over the other just like his uncle. Paladin smiled. “I think we ought to check our lines,” he said, sitting up.

Merry jumped up and ran to where his line was tied to one of the lower branches of one of the trees growing on the stream bank. He shook his head in disappointment as he pulled the fishing line out of the water. “Nothing.”

“Well, I guess that’s to be expected when folks who are fishing take their ease in the soft grass for a while.” Paladin crouched on the bank and pulled up his empty line. He looked at the sky again--this time for a reason. “It’s getting late, Merry. Why don’t we head back home?” He wound up his and Merry’s fishing lines and put them inside his pack.

Merry picked up a few choice rocks to skim across the water. “When I get back home, my dad will take me fishing, too!” he said, swinging his arm out, letting the rock glide over the water’s surface.

Paladin swung his pack over his shoulder, then picked up a few rocks of his own. “He ought to,” he replied, letting a rock fly. “What sort of things do you and your dad do?” Though Paladin already knew what the answer to that question was.

“My dad does lots of things with me.” Came Merry’s answer.

Paladin stopped in his tracks and looked at his nephew, knowing full well that Saradoc had done very little with his son. Then Merry continued, “We visit trolls, and...and go far, far away with Dwarfs, and fight dragons. We’ve even seen a goblin.” Merry stopped talking when he saw his uncle’s face. It looked sad to him. He dropped the rest of his rocks at his feet, looking at the ground.

Paladin stepped over to the small lad and lifted him into his arms and carried him as he started to walk home. Merry was quiet for a while, resting his head on his uncle’s shoulder as he carried him. He did not feel anger or disappointment from his uncle. Just sadness. “I told a lie,” he finally said.

“I know,” answered Paladin softly.

“Are you going to punish me? Mummy makes me stand in the corner.”

“No.” I’d like to punish your father, he thought.

After a minute passed, Merry ventured a question. “Can I come fishing with you again?” he asked.

“You can come fishing with me any time you want, Merry.”

“Uncle Paldin?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I come back and visit you again?”

Paladin gave Merry hug as he carried him. “I’d like that.”

Merry closed his eyes and relaxed. “Me, too.”

Chapter Ten - A Message From Buckland

Young Pimpernel entered the Smial a bit winded and carrying a yellow basket with a linen cloth covering it. It had been gloomy and rainy outside all day. She was out in the barn feeding the animals when the Messenger Post arrived. She greeted the old hobbit, then received a bundle of enveloped from him. She took the enveloped out from under her apron and began sifting through the envelopes to see if any were addressed to her.

“You know mother is supposed to go through the envelopes first!”

Pimpernel startled, and turned around. It was her older sister, Pearl. “I wanted to see if any were for me,” she retorted. “You just hate it when I meet the Messenger before you do.”

“Give me them,” Pearl replied, grabbing for the bundle, “If any letters are for you, and I doubt very much that there are , mother will give them to you.” Pearl indeed disliked it when she missed the Messenger, but she wasn’t going let her little sister be victorious in her guess. She exercised her Eldest “rights” and snatched the bundle from Pimpernel and ran towards the study where their mother was, trailed by her sister.

Eglantine laid down the book she was reading when she heard, then saw the two girls run into the room, giggling and yelling. “Ladies! You’re going to wake up your sister from her nap!” Then added with exasperation, “I’ll be so happy when this rain lets up.”

“Here are the letters that just arrived.” Pearl triumphantly handed the bundle over to her mother.

“Momma! Pearl took the envelopes from me!”

Eglantine was perusing the envelopes, “Pimpernel, go find Merry and play with him. You have far too much liveliness in you than normal.”

“I already asked him, but he said he doesn’t want to play. He said he wants to sleep.”

One particular envelope caught her eye. It was sent from Mistress Esmeralda Brandybuck, Brandy Hall, Buckland. “Pearl, please take your sister and go start afternoon tea.”

Pearl understood her mother wanted to be alone, “Yes, mother. Come along Pimpernel.” She guided her rambunctious sister back out towards the kitchen.

Eglantine looked at the seal on the backside of the envelope. It was definitely Saradoc’s seal, and it was addressed to Paladin. She would have to wait until her husband got back from the soggy fields to read the contents. With it raining all day so far, it wouldn’t be long before he would be home. Work was work, whenever some folks could get it, but Paladin wouldn’t let those he employed work all day; they’d all end up soaked and catching an illness.

She went up to the window and held up the envelope to the light, hoping to see and decipher the faint script inside. Nothing. She paced up and down the study, anxiously flapping the envelope against her other hand while in her thoughts. Did Essie accomplish what she set out to do? If not, what was written in the letter to say how her little nephew would fare back in Brandy Hall with his father? She sighed heavily, finally setting the envelope in the middle of Paladin’s desk where he couldn’t miss it, and walked out.

She decided to check on the two younger children before heading towards the kitchen to help her daughters with tea. She first went to Pervinca’s room. So peaceful and restful the child looked in slumber. Eglantine smiled. Not a care in the world, she thought, as ought to be, unlike some others. She next went to Merry’s room where Pimpernel said he was sleeping; it was unusual for a child his age to be napping so much and for so long.

“Merry?” Eglantine whispered, softly knocking as she opened the door. Lying on the bed, the boy turned to face her, rubbing his eyes. “Are you still tired, sweetie?”

Merry shook his head. “My tummy hurts.”

Eglantine sat beside him on his bed. “I’m sorry, Merry! I didn’t know your tummy was hurting you. Does it hurt a little, or a lot?”

Merry thought for a quick moment. “Only a little, but it hurts,” he answered, putting his hands to his stomach.

“Well, let’s see.” Eglantine kindly took his hands aside and gently pressed into his stomach to see if it was something he’d eaten and wasn’t processing very well. “Does that hurt?” Merry shook his head. Next, Eglantine reached over and felt his forehead. No fever. “I don’t know what to tell you, love. Do you feel better when you’re lying down?” She watched him nod and saw his eyes were welling up with tears, as if he were about to cry.

“Oh, sweetie,” she swept him into her lap, “You’re too little to have so much on your heart.”

Nearly an hour later, Paladin came home and found his wife rocking Merry in the rocking chair. Pretty much the same thing he found her doing when he returned from taking his sister to town some days ago. “Your doing a lot of that with him lately, aren’t you?”

Eglantine shrugged as she continued rocking her small nephew. “It’s what we mothers do best.” She kissed Merry’s forehead, “Does your tummy still hurt, love?” He wearily shook his head, laying it back onto her shoulder, putting his fingers back into his mouth.

“There’s a letter addressed to you I left on your desk--a special letter.” She eyeballed Merry.

Paladin nodded in understanding, then asked, “Why didn’t you open it if it was…important?”

“Because it was addressed only to you, dear--and don’t think for a moment that I wasn’t tempted,” she added with a smirk.

Paladin grinned at the thought of his wife’s curiosity being bested by a sealed envelope. “I only hope it’s good news,” he said. “I will fetch it and return here so we can read it together.”

He left for his study and came back a few moments later with the envelope. He broke open the seal, took out the letter and then sat at an angle where both he and his wife could read it silently:

“Dearest Brother,

Cousin Frodo has been visiting Bilbo Baggins in Hobbiton again and has offered to bring Merry back with him and Bilbo tomorrow, the 3rd of September. I could not resist the offer as I am still working on Sara. He is proving to be more difficult than I first anticipated, but at least he has stopped tipping the bottle as he has been. Because of this, I can say at least that Saradoc is in a more presentable form. One important matter that I have convinced Saradoc about is our arguing in front of our son. Please tell Merry that his Mum and Dad promise not shout at one another ever again.

Thank you, Paladin and Eglantine, for opening your home and your hearts to my son. I love you both.

All my love,

Essie”

Chapter Eleven - Going Home

“Frodo lad, I need to ask you a few questions.”

Paladin sat across from Frodo on the couch in his study. The teenager looked wide-eyed at his elder cousin thinking that he was trouble. “Did Merry sing too many…songs?”

Paladin hesitated in thoughts for a second, then he shrugged, saying, “My wife seems to think so, but that’s not what I’m speaking to you about.”

“I’m sorry, Paladin,” Frodo replied nervously. “but those were the only songs I knew--an older Took uncle taught them to Bilb--,” Frodo stopped, realizing he was implicating his dear Bilbo.

“Frodo,” Paladin, smiled; he figured old Bilbo probably learned them from the same uncle that he learned them from. He tried to further convince the lad, “honest, Frodo, that’s not why I’ve asked you here.” Frodo calmed down a bit. Paladin continued when he had Frodo’s undivided attention. “I understand that you and Merry are quite close at home, am I correct?”

“Yes,” the young hobbit nodded. “He’s like a little brother to me.”

Paladin smiled inwardly, while trying to find the appropriate words, “Has Merry spoken to you at all recently?”

“About?”

“About his father, Saradoc,” answered Paladin. Then he leaned a little over the low tea table between them and spoke in a lower tone. “What I’d like to know, is what Saradoc said to him the night before he and his mother arrived here.”

Frodo licked his lips nervously, “I...he--he didn’t say much to me.”

“Frodo,” Paladin spoke firmly, “Merry is my sister’s child, and I am utterly concerned with his welfare at home. If you love Merry as you say you do, then help me.”

“He made me promise not to tell anyone.”

Paladin gazed at his young cousin. “A five-year-old made you promise not to tell?”

Frodo looked down at his feet, but his Tookish nerve was returning. “Yes,” he repeated then looked up at Paladin. “He trusts me, and I won’t break that trust. I will keep his secret until my last breath, or until he bids me to tell you, because I love him. However, I will tell you this: what Saradoc said in his son’s hearing wasn’t good at all, bottle or not. He and I have had words over Merry and I tell you now that I will never look at Saradoc the same way ever again.”

Paladin looked into Frodo’s blue eyes and admired the resolve of the young hobbit in keeping Merry’s trust. “Very well, then. Just do me one favor, eh?”

“What’s that?” asked Frodo.

“Please keep my nephew’s best interest in mind. Keep an eye out for him, and if things become unbearable at home for him send me an immediate message.” Just as Paladin finished, both hobbits turned at the sound of little feet entering the room.

“Frodo! You’re here! You’re really here!” Merry ran heedlessly into the study, bounding into his favorite cousin’s arms, hugging him fiercely.

“Yes,” laughed Frodo, “I am here to take you back to Brandy Hall with me!”

Merry whispered into his cousin’s ear, “Frodo, Auntie doesn’t like our songs here--just like Mummy. But Uncle Paldin and Pimpernel likes them, though.” He didn’t see his uncle’s shocked expression on his face.

“That’s all right, cousin,” Frodo eyed his elder cousin, whispering back in Merry‘s ear, “we can sing them on the way home!”

“Are all your things packed and ready, Merry?”

“Yes, sir. And I got my spinning top, too.”

“Good! We wouldn’t want Berilac to think he’s the only lad to have such a magnificent toy!” Paladin winked at Merry.

After everyone had eaten a nice lunch, all gathered outside to send off the trio to Buckland. Eglantine handed a sack to Bilbo, “Here is a little something to keep you three on your feet until you get to Stock.”

Bilbo gratefully took the sack, “Thank you, Eglantine, and I assure you none will be wasted!” After hugs of farewell were passed around, Bilbo climbed up into the driver’s seat of the cart.

Frodo shook the hands of all his lass cousins, still being the bashful teenager. Then he came to Paladin. When it came to young Merry’s welfare, these two understood each other. “Goodbye, Paladin. I will do as you asked.”

Finally it was Merry’s turn. Following his cousin’s lead, he shook the girls’ hands. Then his Auntie swept him up into her arms, kissing him, “Goodbye, sweetie! We’re all going to miss you here.”

Merry kissed his aunt, “thank you, Auntie. I will miss you, too.”

Paladin took Merry from his wife’s arms and tossed him in the air before catching him. “Oy, laddie! You’re already growing some!” That made Merry laugh with delight. “Now you make sure you come back to visit more often! I don’t want it to be another two years before I see you again. Tell that to your Mummy!”

Merry smiled, “Yes, sir.” Then he laid his head on Paladin’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, “I love you, Uncle Paldin. You’re my favoritest uncle.”

Paladin kissed Merry and whispered back, “and you’re my favoritest nephew.” Paladin truly meant it from his heart. “Run along now and be a good lad.” While his family stood and waved goodbye to the departing relatives, Paladin quietly slipped away inside the Smial. He could hear the laughter and tears of farewell going on through the window of his study as he sat there. His tears fell silently as he thought of the little boy heading back towards unhappiness and confusion.

“Paladin?”

He jumped up, startled at the sound. It was his Tina. “Oh…it’s you.” He sniffed, then wiped his face.

She walked over took him in her arms. “I worry for him, too,” she said. “I have a feeling he’s going to be back. And it wouldn’t be a bad thing at all if it were only for a visit of leisure.”

Paladin let out a deep sigh. “I only hope that Essie was right,” he said, “I want to help Merry with all my heart, but all I can do is just be here for him when his heart breaks again.”

“We both will be here for him,” Eglantine reminded him.

Paladin smiled and embraced the love of his life, “Did I ever tell you that I married the most beautiful and wonderful lass in the Shire?”

~The End~