Disclaimer: Hobbits are not mine, but JRR Tolkien’s.

Characters: Many! Paladin Took, Pippin Took (5), Merry Brandybuck (13), Pervinca (10), Pimpernel (16), and Pearl Took (20), Adelard Took, Bilbo Baggins, Isengar Took, and Gandalf. Possibly some other well-known characters as the story flows.

Summary: It is a cold, rainy November day in S.R. 1395, and the children have been at each other’s throats. To ease the day, and his nerves, Paladin tells a story. One that has never been told before.

Note:  I have separated timelines with ***** asterisks, and scenes within timelines have ~~~ dashes, or are separated by new chapters.

The Storyteller

Chapter One - Story Time

“Papa!” Pervinca pierced the room with her scream.

Paladin cringed at the sudden pain in his ears while his small son jumped onto the couch where he was sitting. He felt Pippin would have melted into the crevice between his back and the couch if it were possible.

Pervinca chased her brother to where their father sat reading a very thick book. The November rains began shortly after Merry arrived for his visit a few days ago and hadn’t stopped since. “Papa, Pippin keeps taking our draught pieces!”

“It was my turn!” A muffled voice was heard snuggling up underneath Paladin’s arm.

Without a word, Paladin placed the bookmark within the leaves of the book then set it down on the tea table in front of him. He proceeded to pick up his small son, turning him upside-down until five black and white draughtsmen fell out of child's shirt.

“It was not your turn, Pippin,” said Merry, picking up the game pieces. “Pervinca and I were still playing.”

The now up-righted five-year-old shot back, “You took too long!”

Paladin sat back down on the couch and sighed; he knew he was not going to get any reading done while the children were trapped indoors. But the recurring arguments were getting on his last nerve. Fortunately, his two older daughters found activities quieter in nature, such as sewing, or letter writing.

“Father!” Pearl came rushing into the sitting room. “Pimpernel will not stop humming! I can't count my stitches while I knit!"

Pimpernel was quick to argue her own point of view. “I'm writing a letter to Cousin Sadabelle--I happen to like humming while I write.  All Miss Pearl needs to do is shut her bedroom door."

“It comes through the cracks!” said Pearl. “And it's making me crack!"

“Father!” Pimpernel put her hands on her hips. "I have every right to..."

"Spit it out, Pippin!" cried Pervinca to her little brother.  "Papa!  He's eating my draughts pieces!"

The bickering rose to a cresendo until the words swirled into a pool of cacophany.  Paladin rubbed his temples and groaned; his head felt it was about ready to burst. Eglantine had not been feeling very well, so after breakfast, Paladin talked his wife into taking a little sleep, telling her that he would mind the children for a few hours. Now he was almost ruing his actions earlier. But no, his Tina needed her rest.

suddenly, Paladin shouted, “All of you--on the mat in front of the fireplace!” The children froze in place; no one spoke, no one moved. “Now!” he added with fervour. At once, all five children scrambled to find a comfortable place on the mat, grabbing couch pillows along the way for comfort. They had come to know this routine well in the past few days.

Paladin took a deep breath--feeling a bit more in control now. He took his pipe from the top of his desk and lit it, using a long, thin piece of kindling wood from the box near the hearth. “I am going to tell you all a story,” he said, puffing on his pipe, composure returning to his frame of mind. He took a large cushion, threw it down at the edge of the ring of children, then sat upon it. Paladin found it difficult to enrapture story-listeners while sitting high up in a chair when they sat low on the floor. For this endeavour, Paladin would require every grain of storytelling talent he had in his being for this arduous task.

“What sort of story is it, Uncle Paladin?” Merry ventured, beside Pippin. He grinned, “Is it dragons and trolls?”

“Yes! Yes!” Pippin shouted, clapping his hands.

“Shhh, Pippin,” Paladin held his finger to his lips. “Your momma needs her rest, son. She’s very weary.” Then he yawned, garnering laughter from the children.

“No trolls!” Pervinca protested. “I want to hear how you and momma fell in love.”

Boos and hisses from the lads.

“Careful, lads,” said Pimpernel “There are three lasses and only two of you. I think I should fancy hearing the story myself. ”

Pearl was quick to point out the drawback on that idea. “But we just heard it yesterday, Pim.”

“I shall be the one to pick the story today,” said Paladin firmly. “The one I have chosen to tell contains adventure,” he saw the lads smiling, “and a love story as well.” The lasses also smiled. “And this is the very first time I am telling it to anyone.”

Gasps of disbelief! A story that has never been told before?

“Now…where to begin?” said Paladin, pondering his next words.  He drew Pippin onto his lap while Merry sat to his right and then Pervinca nearest to the fireplace.  Pearl and Pimpernel to Paladin's left. All six hobbits relaxed in front of the warm hearth and fell at once into the story. “It was September 12, 1357, the Hall at Great Smials...”

Chapter Two - A Special Birthday

September 12, 1357, the Hall at Great Smials was teeming with Tooks and many other relations, including Bagginses, Brandybucks, Chubbs, Grubbs, and the like. Today there would be a grand celebration of a certain Took’s birthday: Isengar Took, turning 95 years old today.

Ribbons hung from the walls in brightly colored greens, reds, blues, and yellows. Rows of lanterns were strung along the ceiling. The chandelier that hung in the center of the hall shone brilliantly as the small crystal ornaments shimmered with the candlelight. Thain Fortinbras II welcomed each guest personally at the huge double doors, then were ushered by young tweenaged lads to their assigned tables for the elaborate feast.

Adalgrim, his wife, Astora Goodchild, and three of their five children arrived from Whitwell promptly at four o’clock in the afternoon, as it would be an early dinner for the guests and Honoree. A tween-aged Paladin Took craned his neck to see over to the next table where his closest friend, Adelard, also known as Addie, sat with his family.

“Ow!” Paladin grasped his ribs where his older sister, Opal, had jabbed her elbow. “What did you do that for?”

“Because it’s not polite to gape!” said Opal. “Tell him mother.”

Astora only sighed, “It’s not polite to gape, son. By the way, Addie is sitting between his father and cousin Siggi. Do you see him?”

Paladin turned further around in his chair. “Yes! Thank you, mother. May I go and greet him now?”

“Not until later,” she answered. “Dinner is just about to start.”

At that moment, the dinner bell chimed and all became quiet. The expectant faces of the guests were soon rewarded by the sight of a wheel chair pushed by a young attendant as the Thain entered the Hall walking behind them. Thunderous applause filled the room and everyone stood to their feet as Isengar was wheeled over to the head table.

Paladin noticed his aging granduncle’s sad smile and wondered at it. It surprised Paladin that no one else seemed to take note of the birthday hobbit’s demeanor. Then again, it probably should not have; everyone regarded Isengar as an odd soul, as much as Bilbo even. Both had gone on adventures, and consequentially were considered very unnatural hobbits.  Neither Paladin nor Adelard thought this; in fact, Paladin thought it was the thrill of adventure that distinguished his dear cousin and uncle from the rest of the hobbits.

When Paladin was a young child, he would spend weeks at a time with his dear old uncle while the rest of his family was trying to set up the farmstead and crop fields in Whitwell. Adalgrim Took had decided that Great Smials was becoming a bit overcrowded for his growing family and set out for the village of Whitwell to farm the land he inherited from his own father, Hildigrim, upon his death. It was mostly during the growing season or the harvest that Paladin would stay with Uncle Isengar; the times when a small six or seven year old lad would be underfoot, while his older sisters and parents pitched in to augment the hired workers. Adalgrim was rather close to his Uncle Isengar ever since he was a mere lad himself and worried about the old hobbit being lonely. Adalgrim felt he was tackling two dilemmas at once; keeping his young, inquisitive son occupied while the rest of the family was busy elsewhere, and then "lending" his little lad as short-term company to his dear uncle.

Isengar’s wife had died young, and their one and only child had married and moved to the Northfarthing as soon as she was considered old enough for marriage. Blossom detested the jokes and stares she received from other folks. She was the daughter of the adventurous hobbit whom she felt embellished his lies whenever he had the chance. She was relieved when her cousin Bilbo returned from his own adventures; the stares and derisive remarks were now aimed at him.

As Paladin stood applauding the birthday hobbit, he caught sight of his friend, Addie; he, too, perceived old Isengar’s mood and returned a look of concern. He and Addie would corner Uncle Isengar after the dinner to find out what was bothering him.

~ ~ ~

After the feast was over and the dancing begun, Paladin and Adelard watched for an opportunity when they could find quiet time to talk with their uncle. So far, his time was monopolized by family members congratulating him on his age--and for staying away from adventures for the past sixty-one years (Isengar did go on a second adventure; telling everyone he went to Rivendell when he was thirty-four years old).

It was nearly midnight when Isengar was finally left alone. Adelard nudged Paladin awake from where they sat at a distance. “What are you doing falling asleep? They’ve finally left him alone; now it’s our turn.”

“It’s the beginning of the harvest, Addie,” Paladin replied. “It was a long day yesterday. But I don’t suppose you would know about that now, would you?” he smirked.

“Come on, clever lad,” said Adelard, pulling his friend up by his shirt collar, “or I shan’t deliver your next love note to Tina!”

Normally a witty old hobbit and full of spunk, Paladin saw up close just how subdued his uncle truly was. But as soon as he saw his two favorite lads approaching, Isengar ventured a smile. “Hullo!” he said, holding his arms out to greet each tween with a hug and a kiss. “How nice to see that you both have come to an old codger’s birthday.”

Adelard put his arm around the old hobbit, “We wouldn’t have missed it for anything, Uncle.”

“Where is Bart--my young Clayhanger attendant?” asked Isengar.

The cousins scanned around the Hall. Paladin saw the attendant engaged in conversation with his sisters Opal and Esmeralda. “He’s occupied at the moment. Why do you ask? Is there something you need?”

“No, no, my boy,” Isengar replied. “I just want to make certain that he is occupied.” He motioned for his nephews to lean in closer. “Let us three find some place where it’s peaceful so we can talk without interruption.” He winked; this usually indicated to the tweens that their uncle was up to no good.

Adelard was the first to his feet, “Good!” he said, smiling. “I know of place where we can hide--er, I mean, get away from the masses.” He turned the wheel chair around, and with Paladin crowding the chair to camouflage their escape, the trio headed out the double doors, down the long hallway towards the back tunnels.

* * * * * *

“Wait a minute!” Pippin interrupted his father, tugging on his shirtsleeve, “Where are the presents? Didn’t Uncle Isengar give you a present?”

“Yes, but it’s not important, son,” Paladin replied.

“What did he give you, Uncle?” Merry grinned. “A lump of coal?” Snickers were heard from the other children.

“Listen to the story, lad!” There’s always a heckler in the crowd, thought Paladin. “Anyway, as I was saying, Isengar, Addie, and myself all sat under the veranda…”

Chapter Three - The South Garden

Isengar, Adelard, and Paladin all sat under the veranda in the south garden smoking their pipes. There were very few hobbits taking a stroll in the south garden this time of year--and with the warm weather not lasting for much longer, they decided to take advantage of it. Being that the north garden was the more beautiful of the two gardens, Adelard was quite certain they would not be disturbed for a good while as they sat biding their time in privacy.

“I still cannot believe that you’re sitting here, Paladin, smoking a pipe!” Adelard chuckled. “You still don’t seem old enough to smoke a pipe yet--you look the same as you did when you were nineteen.”

“You know, cousin,” the younger tween replied, “that I’m a decent twenty-four years old, and will be twenty-five in less than five months. Quite old enough for a pipe, I should say. My own father gave it to me for his birthday a few months ago. It was given to him by his father--my grandfather, Hildigrim.” Isengar smiled at the mention of his older brother now gone from this world.

“Yes, old enough for a pipe, but a ‘decent’ twenty-four? Hardly!” He jested. “Sitting there with a mug at your side--you look more a truant. I suppose your father gave you your mug as well, eh?”

“No,” Paladin answered, taking a draught, “I got this on my own, and a fine brew, I might add.”

Adelard laughed, crossing his feet in front of him to find a more desirable position on the hard bench. He let out a long breath before asking the question that was burning in his head. “So, Uncle, what is it that keeps you from wholehearted mirth this fine day?”

“Wholehearted mirth?” Isengar grinned. He sat on the same bench with his wooly feet perched on the seat of his wheel chair blowing out smoke rings from his pipe. “Wherever did you learn such speech, lad?”

Adelard shifted uncomfortably in his slouching, “Don’t know; I suppose I learned it from my mum.”

Isengar and Paladin looked at each other and laughed; the elder shaking his head, “Nah…too easy, Paladin.”

“You’re avoiding the question, Uncle.” Adelard was not going to let him free and clear that easily.

“I could never disguise my frame of mind from you two lads.” Isengar reached into his jacket pocket and handed an envelope to Adelard. When he was done reading the letter, he handed it over to Paladin.

“The letter says it happens in three days--and I’m guessing it’s a two-day journey to the Havens, is it not?” Adelard gave a questioning look to Isengar, who nodded almost imperceptibly, saying nothing.

Paladin finished reading the letter, stuffed it back into its envelope and was about to give it back to his uncle. He took another look at the addresses. “Uncle,” he said, “did you know that cousin Bilbo sent this to you?”

“Of course I know that, lad,” said Isengar, taking back the envelope. “If the servants had seen the name of who truly sent it to me, then I can assure you that I would not be sitting here alone with you boys. It was sent on purpose to Bilbo to give to me.”

Paladin sighed. “What are you going to do, Uncle?”

“There is nothing I can do,” Isengar answered sadly. Then he added sarcastically, “What can I do with Fortinbras and his son Ferumbras watching me like a hawk; afraid of a ninety-five year old hobbit going on yet another adventure. And then there’s Bart--and he tells them everything.” For a while they sat without talking; mulling over the contents of the letter. In the silence, someone could be heard approaching.

“I thought you said this was a secluded spot!” Paladin whispered, nudging his friend.

“It was until now.”

The intruder eventually appeared through the doorway of the veranda. “Hullo! Who do we have here?” Bart spoke to Isengar as if he were speaking to an errant three-year-old. He bent down and took the burning pipe out of the elder hobbit’s mouth. “There we are,” Bart sang again. “Now, off to bed we go,” he said, taking Isengar by the hand to coax him into his wheel chair. Bart then saw there was an envelope in Isengar’s other hand, preventing him from using it to gain his feet. He took it out of the elder’s hand.

“Stop!” Adelard jumped to his feet, thinking fast. He took the letter out of Bart’s hand. He could not allow Bart to see the letter. His uncle would never stand a chance of… “You can’t have that!”

“What are you doing?” Bart tried to take the envelope back.

Adelard quickly handed the envelope off to Paladin. “It’s--it’s my cousin’s love letter,” he stammered. “You wouldn’t want to humiliate my cousin by taking a very, very personal letter now would you?”

“You’re both cracked!” Bart said, as he dutifully eased Isengar into the wheel chair.

“Good night, lads,” said Isengar; a melancholy coming into his voice again.

“Wait,” Adelard pulled up on the chair from behind. He bent over and kissed his uncle. “Goodnight, Uncle.”

“Yes, goodnight Uncle,” Paladin said. He, too, kissed his uncle, “May we breakfast with you in the morning?” Paladin saw his cousin wink approval at his cleverness.

Isengar looked up at his two nephews, “Of course you may.” He smiled at them before Bart turned him around in the other direction. “Nine o’clock sharp!” he called over his shoulder.

The tweens were left standing alone under the cover of the little shelter. When the wheel chair and Bart were out of sight, Adelard let out a long breath. “That was close, cousin!”

“Too close,” Paladin agreed. “How will we get rid of Bart, or his kitchen server tomorrow at breakfast so we three can talk in private?”

Adelard had lived in the Smials his whole life. He knew which servers he could and could not trust. “Leave that to me.”

Paladin sat back down on the bench. “I want to help him, Addie, but what can we do?” After all his spring and harvest visits as a boy that later turned into summer visits as a teen, Paladin felt as if Isengar was a second father and loved him dearly as such.

Being a bit older, Adelard was the more practical thinking of the two friends. “There’s plenty we can do; we just have to be careful as to how we do it.”

The younger tween puzzled over Adelard’s statement. “What are you talking about?”

Adelard triumphantly blew several smoke rings into the air, “I have a plan. Do you want in?

Paladin only had to be reminded of the sad old hobbit being wheeled away by a well-meaning, though meddlesome attendant. Being every bit the tween that he was, without hesitating or thinking it over, Paladin replied, “Yes!”

Chapter Four - Trapped

Bilbo winced when he opened his eyes; he had an outer guestroom at Great Smials. The window with a panoramic view of the Green Hills yonder grabbed his attention the day before--but not now. Oy! Just a bit too much ale I’m afraid, he said to himself. He rolled over and laid aside his blankets. Soon he rose up and readied himself for the day, but only after closing the velvety drapes.

His hair was combed, teeth brushed, hands and face washed when he stepped out of his room to find breakfast in the dining room. He smiled to himself, thinking of all the ladies asking him to dance the evening before. How many did he dance with? He shook his head and laughed at his own nonsense. Halfway down the hall he was intercepted by two young tweens.

Adelard swept up behind Bilbo; gently, but firmly he took the left upper arm of the elder hobbit. “Hullo, Cousin!”

“Good morning, Bilbo!” Paladin walked up on Bilbo’s right side, taking Bilbo’s right arm.

“Wha--?” Bilbo was quite surprised by the sudden accompaniment of the two young lads then got his wits back. “Adelard Took! Let go of me this instant.” Then he looked to his right, “and you, too, Paladin.” Bilbo stood with hands on his hip addressing the lads. “Now what are you two boys up to this time?”

Adelard feigned innocence well. “Up to?” he asked. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Adelard!” Bilbo tried his best to admonish the lads, but inwardly, he was laughing at their cheek. He loved these two scoundrels ever since they were young boys--the only two hobbits in the Shire happy to see him return from the Lonely Mountain.

Paladin stepped up, “All we want is for you to join us with Uncle Isengar at breakfast.”

Of all the young scheming hobbits that he knew, Bilbo thought young Paladin was the worst--or the best, depending on which end you sat, and Adelard was the lad’s equal.

“You lads wait until you’re all grown up and have lads of your own,” said Bilbo laughing, “I hope they are as much a nuisance to you just as you have been to your poor cousin this morning.” Then he added, “Of course I’ll breakfast with you and Isengar. I begin to believe that the dear old hobbit is the only one who understands me!”

* * * * * *

“Papa!” This time it was young Pervinca disrupting the tale. “Where’s the love story? Where’s the kissing?” she asked eagerly.

For some reason, Paladin was hearing the distant echoes of Bilbo’s pronouncement... “It’s coming up, Sweet Pea--now you must be quiet so the others can listen.”

“Papa,” Pippin glared with distaste at his sister, then whispered to his father, “You don’t have to tell about the kissing if you don’t want to.” The child spoke as if it would be something traumatic for his father to tell.

“That’s all right, Pip; Uncle Paladin likes to kiss!” said Merry, ever the helpful one. “Don’t you, uncle?”

Paladin ignored the impish grin on Merry’s face. “As I said, on with the story.” Taking a deep, relaxing breath Paladin continued on, “Adelard was on his third slice of…”

* * * * * *

Adelard was on his third slice of cured meat and was watching him about to spoon more eggs onto his plate when Paladin nudged his cousin’s leg under the table to get his attention. The young tween was growing impatient.

Adelard felt his younger cousin prod his shin but ignored his efforts. There was a plan in his head to get rid of the server who stood near the door like a warden, but he could not let the younger Took in on it yet. This time he felt Paladin kick him hard in the leg. With tight restraint, Adelard answered, “I’m sorry, cousin, were you wanting more eggs?” Without waiting for Paladin to answer, he emptied the platter onto his friend’s plate.

Paladin had already eaten his fill. “But--!”

“Eat up, cousin!” said Adelard while smirking, “There’s more in the kitchens.” Turning to the server, Adelard got up and handed him the empty egg platter, putting his arm around the servant’s shoulder as if they were life-long friends. “Gorbin! Would you be so kind as to fetch us more bacon and rolls? And while you’re at it,” he said further, “send along a tray of tea, four apple tarts, two jelly pastries, a bowl of fruit, and a platter of biscuits?” He patted Gorbin’s shoulder, “by the time you return, it will be closer to elevenses.”

“Sir,” Gorbin leaned close to the tween, “I have been charged with not leaving Mister Isengar alone.”

“Are you saying that we three cousins cannot care for our uncle while you are away?” asked Adelard.

“No, sir,” Gorbin replied awkwardly. Giving in to the tween’s wishes he took the platter and departed the room to the kitchens.

Adelard waited until he heard the door lock click shut. He crept through the parlor and ensured the door was closed tightly. Satisfied all was in order, he swiftly walked back to the table. “All right, we don’t have much time until Ferumbras or his father figures out that Uncle Isengar is ‘alone’,” Adelard stressed the last word with much sarcasm, using his fingers to simulate quotes. How did he miss all of this? He lived here, but never knew his uncle was treated in such a humiliating manner.

“Not much time for what?” Bilbo was getting confused; all he knew was that he was here to breakfast with a few good friends.

“Where’s the envelope?” Isengar wanted to ensure the letter hadn’t fallen into the wrong hands. He could trust his nephews implicitly, but accidents do happen; such as envelopes falling out of a young lad’s pockets.

“I’ve got it here,” Paladin gave the letter back to his uncle. He eyeballed Adelard, “It’s my love letter to Tina.”

“Love letter?” asked Bilbo. “Why are you giving Isengar your love letters, lad?”

“You’ll have to read it, Bilbo,” Adelard offered. “You have to in order to understand what Paladin and I have to propose.”

Bilbo felt so baffled about the conversation. “But I don’t want to read his love letter,” he said. “No matter what he’s proposing.”

Paladin laughed, “It’s not a love letter, dear Bilbo--and I’m too young to propose--yet. Addie called it a love letter when we feared Bart would take it and give it to Ferumbras--or worse--his father, the Thain.”

Bilbo took the envelope, blinking in recognition of the envelope. Laying it aside, Bilbo began to read the letter. The lads both smiled in unison when Bilbo’s eyes widened and he smiled. “This--this is marvelous, Isengar! When will you depart?”

“He doesn’t--thus far,” answered Adelard, then realized he was behaving as Bart would. “I’m sorry, Uncle. I shouldn’t be answering for you unless you aren’t able to.”

Isengar patted his nephew’s hand. “But I know that you mean well, Addie.” Then turned to his fellow adventurer, “I’m afraid I’m having a bit of trouble getting beyond my own front door, Bilbo.”

Bilbo was stunned. “Why is that?”

“I believe Fortinbras thinks that some of the children will follow me,” Isengar indicated with a nod towards the tweens’ sitting at the table. “He knows that some of the lads enjoy my tales of the Sea and he fears that some may follow should I go on another adventure.”

Bilbo laughed at the absurdity. “But you’re ninety-five years old for heaven’s sake! How far could you go in a wheel chair? To the door of the north gardens?”

To the amazement of all at the table, Isengar stood up unassisted. He was just a tad bent, but slowly he walked all over his quarters to verify that he indeed had all of his faculties, requiring no wheel chair.

Seeing his uncle out of his wheel chair and walking for the first time in many, many months, Paladin ran into his uncle’s arms. “And all this time I thought you were old!”

The elder hobbit laughed sadly; he knew he was fast approaching the life span of hobbits. “There, there, lad,” he said, giving his nephew a gentle hug, patting his back. “I am old, but I’m not quite feeble yet.” He smiled at the tween’s tears, “I think I have yet one more adventure in me, if I had the right help.”

Paladin stepped back, now a bit embarrassed by his tears and quickly wiped them away. “And that’s just what we’re here to do, Uncle!”

Chapter Five - Schemes

After breakfast that same day, Paladin found his father in the common room smoking along with cousin Sigismond and cousin-in-law, Rory Brandybuck. Old Rory had brought his mother, Mirabella, all the way from Buckland to celebrate her brother’s birthday, as Isengar had traveled to Brandy Hall to visit on his sister on her ninety-fifth birthday. Paladin heard snips of lighthearted discussion as he entered the room. He would have to be very careful with his words.

“Father?” He tried to behave as usual, plopping himself on the couch next to his father.

“Paladin!” Adalgrim was delighted to see his son. “I was beginning to wonder where you had run off to--though I shouldn’t have far to guess. Addie, right?”

“Yes, Father. But,” Paladin continued, “Addie’s father is letting him go camping with Bilbo for two whole days. May I go with Addie?”

Without pause, Adalgrim replied, “Not in my lifetime, son.”

“Why not? It’s only for two days.”

“It’s not the camping that bothers me, Paladin,” his father answered, “it’s going off with Cracked Bilbo that bothers me.”

Paladin was incredulous, “Why, father? He’s our cousin--and he’s not cracked!”

Sigismond watched father and son go back and forth for a minute then decided to throw in his opinion. “Adal, what harm would it be to let the boy go camping? Bilbo will have two willful lads in his care--and he’ll have to feed them as well!” Sigismond had a wicked twist to his laugh.

“Please, Father!” Paladin implored, “I give you my word that I will work extra hard in the harvest when I return.”

Adal sighed, then slipped his pipe into his mouth. “Paladin, you work enough hard as it is.” He looked hard at Sigismond, “I suppose I could allow you a couple days with that endless wanderer. Just make sure you come back.”

Paladin wanted to jump for joy. “I will!” he smiled. He hugged his father, “Thank you.”

~ ~ ~

Adelard stepped quietly up to the couch on which his father slept and eased himself onto the cushion. “Dad?”

“Hmmm?” Flambard was in the middle of a very serious nap.

“Paladin’s father is letting him go camping with Bilbo--I’m going to go with him--is that all right, Dad?”

Flambard mumbled something then shifted to turn over.

“Is that a ‘yes’? Because I think that’s what I’m hearing.” Adelard waited to see if he was terribly wrong. “No objection then?” More mumbling. “Thank you, Dad--I’ll be sure to leave you a note just in case you forget that you said yes.”

~ ~ ~

Bilbo was busy loading up his little cart with the provisions that the three of them would need on their little expedition out camping. None of the Tooks noticed that they were taking a great deal of provisions. He laughed a bit nervously to the cook’s questioning gaze, and said that it was the growing tweens forcing him to take more than adequate portions.

“Where are you going?” Paladin turned to see his younger sister standing at the rear of the cart.

“Father said I could go camping with Bilbo.”

She glanced quickly about her then closed in to her brother, “Don’t leave me here with that--that--”

“Who?” Paladin teased, “That Saradoc? What’s the matter, Essie?”

“He follows me everywhere I go!”

Bilbo, Adelard, and Paladin crowded around one particular sack to hide its bulky content. They heaved it into the back of the cart very carefully.

“What is in that sack?” Esmeralda asked.

“Food--what else?” Paladin brushed off her question, then began shifting around the rucksacks and provisions. He looped the ropes several times around the back of the cart then tied the ends in a square knot; just as his uncle had taught him as a boy.

Paladin saw the Brandybuck teen jogging up the drive where they were loading their provisions. “Oh no,” he sighed. “Essie, you have to help me and keep him entertained--he can’t come along this time. Here,” Paladin handed his sister an envelope. “Give this to father after supper tonight.”

“Why after supper?” But Esmeralda never got an answer to her question; Saradoc Brandybuck sauntered up with a grin on his face, obviously in a good humor this afternoon. “Hullo, Paladin…Addie,” he said; he smiled bashfully at Esmeralda. “Where are you lads off to, now?”

Esmeralda eyed her brother, mouthed a big, “you owe me”, then turned to the teen saying out loud, “The lads are going camping with Bilbo.”

“Why can’t I go, too?” As the sole Brandybuck child present, Saradoc felt a bit left out of the Took mischief.

Esmeralda smiled sweetly, “Because your job is to keep me company, Saradoc.”

Saradoc laughed, “I would love to, Esmeralda, but since when has it become my task to keep you company?”

Esmeralda looked again at her brother. The things I do for you, she thought to herself, then dove in head first. “Since this,” she said, grabbing the seventeen year old by the lapels of his waistcoat and then kissed him.

* * * * * *

“I knew it!” exclaimed Pervinca, smiling wide at hearing the part of her aunt and uncle’s kiss. “I’ll bet that’s when they fell in love!”

Merry and Pippin looked at each other. “Eeeww!”

“Why do you say that Merry?” Pearl asked. “You keep telling me you’re a teen now and that you want to do more grown-up things. I hate to inform you, Master Merry, that kissing is one of them!”

“To kiss another lass, maybe,” he replied, blushing a little, “but I don’t want to listen about my mum kissing my dad.”

“Well if you’re mum didn’t kiss your dad then you wouldn’t be here.” Paladin winked at his nephew.

“Come now, Uncle,” Merry reached over and tousled his uncle’s hair. “We’ve had that discussion before, and we both know that kissing had…little to do with me being here!” and winked back. He could tell by his uncle’s reaction that he would pay for his cheek later, but Merry laughed all the same.

Over the course of the story, Pippin had managed to inch his way into his father’s cozy lap. He looked up to his father quite puzzled, “Kissing? I thought Momma said the coach brought Merry here?” The poor child had no idea why the other children burst out laughing.

Paladin sighed, shaking his head sadly; Oy! And I thought that minding children was easy! “Let’s continue with the story, shall we?” Paladin became enthusiastic as he began his story again. “As I was saying, I was jolted off my feet…”

* * * * * *

A very stunned Paladin was jolted off his feet in the back of the cart as Bilbo started up the ponies. He could hear Adelard laughing behind him in the passenger’s seat.

“I trust this isn’t her first kiss!” Adelard slapped his friend on the back.

“No, but it’s his,” Paladin remarked, watching the figures recede as the cart traveled westward towards the lanes north of Great Smials.

“I don’t know Saradoc very well; is he trustworthy? Do you think Essie suspects we’re up to something?”

Paladin crawled over, leaning against the side of the cart, “I would wager my pittance this month that Essie knows we’re up to something. I’d like to think that’s why she diverted his attention. As for Sara, I’ve never told him a secret bigger than finding Yule gifts or birthday presents, but he was good about keeping his tongue then.”

Adelard watched the two cousins shrinking, “Let us hope that he can still keep it.”

~ ~ ~

Esmeralda loosed the Saradoc’s lapels as she pulled away from the kiss. She wondered what he was thinking. She stood in front of the teen, watching him squint in the afternoon sun, looking off beyond her shoulder. She noticed the sun accenting the highlights in his light brown hair and blue eyes. Smiling to herself, she saw that he was a tad winded.

Finally Saradoc spoke, “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” Esmeralda smiled coyly.

“Kiss me,” he answered. “Why did you kiss me? I’ve been nothing but a pest to you since yesterday--I can see your expressions when you think that I’m not looking.”

Esmeralda felt a pang of guilt. “I haven’t been a very good hostess, have I?”

Saradoc relaxed a little. “You have been an exceptional hostess,” he replied. Then they began walking back down the drive. “I’m sorry for making myself a nuisance to you. My younger brother is back in Buckland nursing an injured ankle, and I’ve been feeling a bit…I don’t know…alone, perhaps? There’s no one else here my age that I know of.”

“There is Rosamunda and Ferdinand--you’ve met them before, haven’t you?”

“Once or twice,” he answered. “But…I’m the shy sort. I feel I know you and Paladin much better.”

“I do apologize, Sara,” she answered sincerely. “I shall endeavor to be a more…appropriate hostess. Do you forgive me?”

The teen smiled, “Of course.”

Esmeralda took in a deep breath of fresh air. “It’s a shame to let the afternoon wane without walking in the sunshine. Would you care to walk in the garden with me? Most of the summer flowers are gone, but there are plenty of roses still in bloom.”

“I’d like that,” he said. “I’ve heard that your north gardens have the finest display of roses.”

Esmeralda had a better plan. “No, I do believe it’s the roses in the south garden that are the more beautiful.” ;-)

Chapter Six - Missing Hobbits 

It had been over a couple hours since they had turned west upon the East Road. Paladin sat pensively in the back of the cart with his knees drawn up, staring at the eastern horizon as Michel Delving dwindled behind them. Not many hobbits went yonder west; only Elves, Men, and Dwarves ventured much further. The immensity of what they were doing hit the young lad between the eyes.

Every now and then Adelard would glance into the back of the cart from where he was sitting in the passenger’s seat. He noticed his cousin had grown rather quiet the past hour. With a nod to Bilbo, Adelard climbed over the seat and into the back of the cart.

“Addie!” Paladin saw his friend climbing over the neatly arranged food sacks. “Careful you don’t smash the bread.” He watched as his cousin caught his foot onto the rope that crisscrossed, falling headfirst towards the edge of the cart. Paladin caught onto his cousin’s braces and held him fast just before he met the back edge. Keeping a death-grip onto Addie’s braces while he recovered, Paladin closed his eyes and swallowed hard, “Are you all right?”

Adelard breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m fine,” he said, carefully sitting up next to Paladin he added. “How ‘bout you?”

“Same.” Paladin could not forget his apprehension of mere seconds ago. He had never been out of the Shire before in his life, and now he was about to embark on a…adventure! And yes, he was a very frightened tween-ager right now, but he would remain calm and brave for the sake of his dearest uncle.

For his part, Bilbo saw the near miss in the back of the cart. He brought the ponies to the side of the road and stopped. What have I done in bringing these young lads on this journey? Laying aside the reins on the passenger seat, he said more aloud and calmly, “Why don’t we take a bit of a rest, eh?”

“We can’t, Bilbo,” said Adelard. “Not just yet--they’ll be looking for us for sure as soon as they find out Uncle Isengar is missing.”

“He’s right, Bilbo,” Paladin agreed, “We can’t stop until we’re out of the Shire.”

Bilbo turned back round in the driver’s seat, “I only hope the ruse you lads concocted holds them off.”

~ ~ ~

Without so much as a knock, Bart--Isengar’s attendant--opened the door with some difficulty, letting himself into the widower’s quarters. “Hullo, there, Isengar,” he cooed, holding a tray laden with a plateful of food, “Gorbin tells me you haven’t eaten your lunch. Perhaps when you smell the delicious cakes he’s made for your tea…” It was then that Bart become aware that the old hobbit had not addressed him in his usual way. “Isengar?” He turned to the lump in the bed and saw not Isengar, but instead the fuzzy brown mat that Isengar would use to keep his feet warm under the desk. He quickly turned his attention to underneath the desk; no hobbit. He looked again around the room, opening the wardrobe and then walking out to the sitting room looking behind the furniture. He shouted to the top of his lungs, “Isengar!”

~ ~ ~

“Adal,” Flambard found his cousin in the dining room taking tea with Astora and Opal. “I’m sorry to disturb you during tea, but have you seen my son?”

“Why yes,” Adalgrim answered, “my Paladin went off with Addie to go camping with that cousin Bilbo character. Why do you ask?”

“He went off with Bilbo?” Flambard scratched his head. “He couldn’t have--he’s still on punishment for the ‘goose feather’ incident last week. He knows better than to disobey me.”

“Still on punishment?” Adalgrim rubbed his temples; he felt a headache coming on. Paladin had not been implicated in the goose-feather episode, but Adalgrim had little doubt that his son took part in it--and now both lads were nowhere to be found. “I take it that you did not give him permission to go camping then?”

“I did not,” his cousin answered.

“Now Adal,” Astora tried to play advocate for her only boy, “I’m certain there’s been a mistake.”

“Mistake my eye!” Adalgrim got up and threw his napkin down on the chair. “For as much work as that lad puts out, one should think that he would put forth as much effort to stay out of trouble.”

Adalgrim and Flambard were on their way to find Esmeralda. If anyone would know the whereabouts of Paladin and Addie it would be his youngest daughter, Esmeralda--a mere three years younger than her brother. Both hobbits stormed down the hallway towards the guestrooms. Opening the door to his family suite, Adalgrim found it empty. “Esmeralda?…Essie?”

“Adal!” The hobbits peeked out into the hallway to see who was calling out. They spotted Sigismond at the far end of the hallway near the Main Tunnel. “Come quickly! Fortinbras has Saradoc and Esmeralda cornered in the common room asking them questions!”

Thain or not--nobody questioned his children without his leave. Adalgrim headed straightaway for the common room with Flambard on his heels.

~ ~ ~

“Careful now!” Bilbo helped the younger lads carry the bulky sack off of the cart and lower it to the ground. Paladin quickly unraveled the cord that tied up the sack. He and Adelard peeled downward until the sack revealed its contents…Uncle Isengar.

“Hullo, lads!” Isengar took the offered hand of Adelard to stand up and step out of the sack. Both Paladin and Adelard were delighted to see their uncle smiling again. “Do you see them yet?”

“Not yet, Uncle,” Adelard answered up, peering the long distance east-ways down the road. “Perhaps after a bite to eat we can ride a little more; at least until we know for certain that no one is following us.” The small group of hobbits decided to rest here on the border of the Shire; another fifty feet or so they would be in the Outlands.

“I do want you lads to know how much I am grateful for your assistance in getting this far,” said Isengar. He looked around the back of the cart. “Where are your ponies?” he asked. “Why did you not bring them?”

Adelard was bemused, “Why would we bring our ponies, Uncle?”

“So you lads can ride back together to Great Smials.”

“Why would I want to ride back to Great Smials?” Adelard asked.

“So that Flam and Adal won’t worry after their boys,” Isengar replied.

Paladin stepped forward, “They won’t worry, Uncle--I’ve left them all a note with Essie.”

“What did you tell them?” Adelard asked, now growing anxious.

“Not much,” Paladin put his hands in his pockets, suddenly feeling like an admonished schoolboy. “Only that we went camping with Bilbo…” Adelard closed his eyes in relief. Then Paladin added further, “then to escort Uncle Isengar on to the Tower Hills to look at the sea again.” He grimaced to see his friend’s facial expression.

“You--you’re mad!” Adelard began to pace the road. “I won’t be allowed out of my room for the next four years! I’m still on punishment for your ingenious goose-feather trick.”

“Well what did you expect me to say? I’ve already deceived my father in our journey here!”

“I’m tired of taking punishments for you, Paladin Took!”

“You’re jealous because I wasn’t the one who got caught!”

The tweens were soon locked in battle. Being that Adelard had five years on his young cousin, he also had the added weight to back him up. Paladin was trapped beneath the elder tween but was rescued when Bilbo and Isengar pulled them apart. Firmly scolded for their childish behavior, Isengar instructed them to sit inside the back of the wagon until he and Bilbo could figure out their next course of action.

While the elder hobbits were talking off to the side in a low volume, Adelard leaned over to his cousin, “Do you think it worked?”

Paladin looked incredulous at Adelard, “What worked? And don’t talk to me, you cow chip!”

“It was a ruse, Paladin! I thought you knew,” his cousin replied, “I thought you saw my ‘look’.”

“The only ‘look’ I saw was one of vengeance before you squished me to the ground.”

“Paladin,” Adelard implored, “I also left a note, but I’m afraid it will only help matters in my staying indoors for the next four years. I only started that argument so that they would think we were too angry to travel back together and wouldn’t send us back.”

“How can they send us back, Addie? We don’t have any ponies--and I, for one, am not willing to walk fifty miles back home.”

“You speak for me, too, Paladin, but I have a feeling they won’t want to take a couple tweens outside of the Shire, either.”

“They have no choice now, Addie--look!”

In the distant fields, a cloud of brown dust rose up behind a rider coming towards them. Paladin’s hair raised on the back of his neck. “Bilbo! Uncle!” he cried, “We must ride--now!”

Never thinking he’d have to use it, Bilbo unsheathed Sting from its scabbard, showing only a trace of blue. Faint or not, Bilbo helped Isengar into the cart. He hoisted himself up and then quickly slapped the reins, “Ha!” The ponies took off west on the road, churning up dry earth behind them. Paladin ventured a peek between the sacks of food to discover the menacing rider was gaining on them--fast. Just as he was about to despair, Paladin saw another, larger cloud of dust trailing the threatening force who was chasing them. Curiosity got the better of him, so he kept his eye focused on all the riders.

There were four riders on horses that were chasing the one. As the one got within his sights, Paladin did not like the looks of that character. He had a sense that this was a malevolent being, as his hairs stood on end again. Just then, the cart hit a rut that sent Paladin helplessly bouncing and sliding towards the back edge of the cart.

“Hold on!” Adelard grabbed for his cousin, catching him just before he went over, then struggled to heave his friend back into the safety of the cart. Thinking quickly, Paladin then untied the top of one sack, pulling out a couple of good-sized apples. Adelard held onto the backside of his cousin’s breeches as Paladin threw an apple at the sinister-looking figure. The tween saw it hit its mark, but still threw the second apple for good measure. Though neither apple took the evil rider out of his saddle, they did manage to slow him down some.

Two of the four riders advanced; one pulled out a bow and shot the dark figure with an arrow. Paladin distinctly heard one of the riders call out for Bilbo to stop, then felt the cart and ponies slow down and gradually come to a complete halt. Paladin and Adelard remained hidden among the sacks of provisions.

Chapter Seven - Tookmoot

“Mmmm!” Pippin slurped the hot chicken stew from his spoon in one hand and held a piece of buttered bread in the other.

Dahlia the cook had come in a little while ago and announced lunch. Paladin decided that they would all eat in the sitting room. He and Merry brought the tea table close to the hearth, then all gathered round to feast on a delicious lunch and a warm story.

Pearl paused in eating her stew and bread; always willing to teach her young brother manners, “it’s not polite to make noises while you eat, Pippin.”

Paladin saw Merry open his mouth to say something. “Merry,” he gave a stern look.

“Yes, Uncle,” Merry answered, going back to eating.

While Pimpernel was buttering her roll she asked, “Father, why is it you never told this story before?”

“Don’t know,” he replied, taking a draught of water, “I suppose I thought no one would believe me--or us, I should say.”

Pearl looked around the table, “What made you think that we would believe you today?”

“I don’t know if you children believe me or not, but it is the truth.”

“I believe you, Papa.” Pippin smiled up at him. Pippin made a point of sitting next to his Papa.

“Thank you, Pippin.” Paladin leaned down and kissed his son.

Merry tried his best to guess what it was his Uncle Paladin saw chasing him in the Outlands. He tried to recover the stories in memory that his cousin Frodo or even Bilbo had told him. “Who--or what was it that you saw chasing you and Uncle Addie?”

“You’re getting ahead of the story, lad,” Paladin tousled Merry’s curls in return jest. “You will soon find out.”

“I have one question,” Pervinca laid down her spoon. With all sincerity she asked, “Do Saradoc and Esmeralda get married?” Seeing the stunned expressions around the table, she then laughed.

Relieved, Merry’s hand went to his heart, “I thought you were serious!”

Pimpernel laughed, “I wonder about you sometimes, lass!”

“They had to get married, didn’t they Papa?” Pippin stated. “They kissed,” he said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. Why did everyone seem to laugh when he was trying to be serious? Though he smiled shyly when Pearl put her arm around his shoulder and hugged him.

Before any of them had a chance to lapse into their previous bickering, Paladin finished his bowl of stew, saying, “Are you all ready to continue on and listen?”

“Yes!” They all replied in a chorus.

“Very well then,” Paladin took another draught of water. “Essie and Sara had been questioned for over an hour…”

* * * * * *

Esmeralda and Saradoc had been questioned for over an hour; they were apparently spotted by some of the servants while talking to Paladin before they all disappeared. She spoke truthfully about seeing the lads and Bilbo; she even admitted to talking to Paladin, but she cautiously pranced around the issue of where the group was headed to. She had read the letter--along with Saradoc in the garden. It wasn’t sealed, and Paladin hadn’t said it was for their father’s eyes only.

“What do we do?” Saradoc asked her.

“My brother wouldn’t go to such lengths if all of this wasn’t important,” she answered.

“But it isn’t like he’s going to Hobbiton or even Buckland; he’s going to the Sea--along with Addie, Bilbo, and Uncle Isengar.”

“Bilbo and Uncle Isengar have both been on adventures before,” she said. “They know what they’re doing.”

“They’re going to be missed, you know. What should we say then? It isn’t like we don’t know where they are.”

“We’re going to keep silent--that is what we’re going to do,” Esmeralda instructed. “I will give father the note just as Paladin said to do after supper tonight.”

A long moment passed before Saradoc spoke. “If this is indeed important to you and Paladin, then I shall keep silent.”

Esmeralda now smiled grimly when she thought of what a dear friend her cousin was while being questioned. All he would tell his inquisitors is, ‘I cannot say for certain” which earned him a trip to a storeroom with his father and then sent to his room for the remainder of their stay.

She also was confined to her bedroom in the guest quarters; it was almost eight o’clock before her mother came to look in on her. Her mother came and sat on the edge of her bed.

Astora smoothed back her daughter‘s hair away from her face, “Why are you being so stubborn, Essie?”

“I was only doing what he asked me to do.”

“Paladin?”

Esmeralda nodded, “He did give me a note to give Father.” She reached inside her dress bodice and handed her mother a piece of paper that was folded over twice.

Astora took the paper and read it. She put her hand to her mouth, tears forming in her eyes, “Goodness, child--why have you kept this from us?”

“Paladin asked me to give it to Father after supper.” The tween added with a sidelong glance, “and seeing I’m not getting any, I may as well give it to you now.”

“But don’t you see, lass? Your brother could be in serious danger--or trouble!”

Esmeralda sat up on her bed, “Mother, I wouldn’t have obeyed his wishes if I thought for a minute that Uncle Isengar or Bilbo couldn’t watch out for him and Addie.”

Astora stood up from the bed to leave, gazing at Esmeralda, “Just expect your father to very angry with you.”

Esmeralda waited until her mother shut the door and murmured, “He already is. I’m in here without supper, aren’t I?”

~ ~ ~

“I knew this was going to happen!” Fortinbras paced in front of the fireplace in the common room. “It’s all that Bilbo’s fault.”

Sitting and standing about in the common room of the Smials were the Thain, Fortinbras, his son, Ferumbras II, Adalgrim, Flambard, Sigismond, Fiobold of the Isenbold line, and Rory Brandybuck.

“There’s nothing for it tonight,” said Flambard, “we won’t get very far in the dark.”

Adalgrim sat in his chair with his head in his hands remembering the tales--or lack thereof--of his Uncle Hildifons going on an adventure. Hildifons never returned. “I should’ve known; I should have seen it coming.” He sighed then sat up straight, “We must leave early in the morning to search for them--before dawn, if possible.”

“Whether we leave now, tomorrow morning, or tomorrow afternoon what can we do?” Fiobold spoke up. “We could sit and wait at the borders, but other that that, unless any of us are willing to cross the borders, all we can do is sit and wait here at the Smials for their return.”

Fortinbras came and put his arm around Adalgrim in support. “I remember when we were boys, Isengar told me it took almost two days of riding to arrive at the Grey Havens. I imagine they will have already left the Shire by this time.”

“I can’t just sit here and wait,” Adalgrim sounded weary. He spoke with tears in his eyes, “My son is out there.”

Flambard, feeling the pain in his own heart, went up and embraced Adalgrim, “Mine, too.”

Chapter Eight - Old Friends, New Friends

Paladin watched through the folds of the food sacks as the four riders dismounted. He recognized one of the riders as Gandalf, but hesitated to come out of hiding until he learned who the other three were. He almost gave his hiding place away when he heard the two hobbits in the front of the cart jump down and whoop for joy. “Addie!” he whispered as loud as he dared when he his friend jumped from the back of the cart. Paladin saw all the hobbits running to greet the grey pilgrim like children excited to see a long lost relative.

“Isengar!” said the old Wizard, “I am glad that you received my letter--and from this burglar, no doubt. I was grieved to learn that you had not been outside of Tuckborough in years.”

Bilbo looked surprised at his uncle, “You’ve attended the Leaf Sampler in the Southfarthing every year, haven’t you? Or the Buckland Harvest Fair ever since your sister married into the Brandybuck family--how ‘bout--”

“All right!” Isengar interrupted his nephew, “So I’ve been outside Tuckborough a few times.” Then added more wistfully, “but I haven’t seen the Sea in ages it seems. The longing for the sea does have a way of growing on a person.”

Gandalf smiled in reply, “Which is why I took pity on you and sent you a letter of my own.” He turned to his companions, “You and Bilbo remember Elrond’s sons Elladan and Elrohir from your individual stays at Rivendell. This one,” he indicated to a younger version of the other two, “is…Thorongil. We are traveling to the Havens to see this one off on a long journey of his own.” The man looked at Bilbo and Isengar, nodding his greeting. His steel-grey eyes shining through the growing twilight.

“At your service,” Bilbo remembered his manners and bowed low.

“Well met,” said Isengar, bowing his head. “Allow me to introduce my young nephews, Adelard, generally known as Addie, and Pal--” But when Isengar turned to the lads, only one of the twain stood there. “Paladin! Come out and greet our friends,” the elder hobbit turned to the tall persons, “you’ll have to excuse him--he’s still a mere boy.” Isengar grinned; he knew just how to rouse the young hobbit.

From the back of the cart came a ruffling of the sacks. A small figure silently slipped to the ground, cautiously making his way to the small crowd of strangers. Still apprehensive of the tall men, Paladin stood his ground next to his cousin. “I am not a mere boy--I am a full three-foot five, I’ll have you know--and I’m almost twenty-five years old!”

Thorongil was thoroughly amused by the group of Little Folk and laughed. “Hold onto your swords, friends! Here is a force to be reckoned with!”

Gandalf smiled at the humor, but because he had already seen the true hardiness of the hobbits, he replied in their defense, “I would not cross one of these little ones, my friend,” he said, “the mettle of the elder two have been tried and tested in battle, and both have come out the victor.”

Thorongil looked in wonder upon the Little Folk. “My apologies, young one.”

“What was that, Gandalf?” asked Bilbo. “It didn’t look like goblin--or not wholly, anyway.” The group walked back a ways to observe the body of a disfigured-looking man.

“It was a half-Orc--or goblin, as you know them,” the Wizard answered. They looked at the body lying in a heap in the tall grasses. “And he is not the first that I have caught following me, either. Where they are coming from, I can only guess--but no more of that right now. We should move on a little further down the road together and then make camp along the underbrush.”

“So that’s why Sting had only a faint glow,” said Bilbo with wonder.

Gandalf walked leisurely on the road between his old friends, leading his horse by the reins. “Yes, Bilbo, and I am glad to see that you brought your old sword.”

Paladin and Adelard exchanged looks. “I get to drive!” said Adelard, both racing to the driver’s seat in the front of the cart. The three tall companions mounted up and rode behind the company, keeping watch for any other half-breed orcs following them.

~ ~ ~

The following morning, Esmeralda was allowed out of her room, but forbidden to go outside of the Smials. She had a small parchment folded and tucked inside her apron pocket as she made her way to the far end of the hallway. She paused in her movements to listen for anyone else in the tunnel; there was no one else that she could hear. The tween stealthily paced in front of a certain door. Pulling out her pocket handkerchief, she opened it up, finding the black specks hidden deep in the folds. Esmeralda raised it to her nose, breathing in the pepper she herself had sprinkled inside. Not five seconds later she began sneezing her head off.

Soon, the door was opened up by a young teen. “Hullo! Who’s out here?” He saw it was Esmeralda. “Gracious me! Are you all right?” Saradoc pulled out his own pocket handkerchief and handed it to her. He looked both ways down the hall; seeing no one was about, he invited her inside. “Perhaps a glass of water is all you need.” Not one to wait for a second invitation, she followed him inside.

Esmeralda noticed that the Master’s suite was decorated more elaborately than her own family’s guest quarters. Even though Rory was not yet Master, he was representing his father, who was the Master of Buckland, not to mention his mother, Mirabella, was the Master’s wife. Esmeralda let out a huge sneeze, almost knocking over a large, expensive vase. She guessed it was expensive because she had never seen anything of it’s like before. Still following her friend into the sitting room, she stood off to the side waiting for the glass of water he was pouring for her. Then she saw the small and frail hobbit matron sitting in a chair by the window. “Hull-- achoo!”

“Goodness, lass! What illness have you brought inside here?”

“’Tis not an illn-- achoo!”

Poor Mirabella was baffled; “then why are you sneezing? And what is your name?”

“My name is--,” Esmeralda wiped her nose--with Saradoc’s handkerchief, “My name is Esmeralda Took--most everyone calls me Essie, though. My father is Adalgrim. Hullo, Ma’am.” Esmeralda curtsied.

“Ah, yes…,” Mirabella smiled, “I know Adalgrim. My grandson and I were about to have Second Breakfast--would you care to join us?”

“Yes, I would like that very much indeed, Ma’am.”

“Please, lass, I’ll call you Essie if you call me Mira,” said the matron. “Sara--please fetch me my lap quilt in my bedroom.”

Esmeralda quickly rose up, “I can do that Ma’--, I mean, Mistress Mira.”

“Mira, dear, please.” Mirabella watched the two young hobbits disappear around the corner and into her bedroom. A smile spread across her face from ear to ear.

Inside the bedroom, Saradoc found his grandmother’s lap quilt quickly then bumped into Esmeralda when he turned round back to the sitting room. He was speechless; all he could do was lose himself in her deep green eyes.

Esmeralda stood before the same bright, blue eyes as the day before. She had never felt so comfortable with any other lad before. She sensed the air easing around them; without realizing it, she felt him kissing her. It was a very affectionate kiss--coming from a teen, that is.

Suddenly he stopped kissing her; he stood apart holding his mouth. “Something’s burning on my lips!” He smiled, “it tastes like…pepper!”

Esmeralda turned a deep crimson. “I’m sorry--perhaps I should leave.”

“No!” Saradoc was swift to try and change her mind. “I mean, that isn’t necessary. I wish for you to stay--at my invitation as well.” He smiled again, “Dad never said that I couldn’t have guests.”

“Saradoc!” They heard Mirabella from in the sitting room. “Leave that poor lass be, and bring me my quilt!”

“Yes Grandmother!” Saradoc shouted back. “On our way.” He held out his hand. Esmeralda took it in hers; together they walked out to the sitting room for breakfast.

Chapter Nine - Close Intervals

“Oy! I’m getting a cramp in my leg!” Paladin suspended his story to alleviate the sharp ache in his folded legs. He handed a limp Pippin over to Pearl to hold while he got up and walked out the spasm. *Pearl took the small child and set him in her own lap, careful to hold his head in the crook of her arm. She brushed the errant curls away from her brother’s peaceful little face.

“Perhaps we should all take a privy break,” he announced. “Lasses first,” he said, then called out after Pimpernel and Pervinca running towards the kitchen door, “and use your cloaks, ladies! It’s raining and cold out outside.” He rued his shout when Pippin started to squirm in his sister’s lap. When the boy stood up to go outside, with rosy cheeks and sleep still in his eyes, Paladin held him behind. Pippin was redirected to the convenience in the washroom; Merry followed behind him. Paladin took note that the mirth the young teen held earlier was gone. Paladin took his arm as he passed him by. “Are you all right, Merry?”

“I’m fine, Uncle,” Merry replied with a sudden smile. “May I go now?”

Merry’s countenance went from low-spirited to a smile much too quickly for the liking of his uncle. Paladin let the lad go…for now. He had a good hunch as to what was bothering Merry, and resolved to ask him about it later after the lad had time to sift through his own feelings himself.

Before long, all were back in their places and sitting before the hearth. Pearl had brought a large platter of apple slices and biscuits with her that Dahlia had just baked. Pimpernel brought in a carafe of hot cider behind her sister; Pervinca brought the mugs. Little Pippin was suddenly awake at the sight of sweet things to eat and drink.

“Is everyone ready?” he asked, reaching over the boy sitting once again in his lap and grabbed a few apple slices to start things off.

“Yes!” A chorus of voices sounded once again.

“Very well, then,” Paladin began. “Uncle Flambard found my father in the stables…”

* * * * * *

Flambard found Adalgrim in the stable just before Second Breakfast saddling up his pony. He knew Fortinbras would be of no help in locating the lads, so he and Adalgrim made hasty plans this morning to meet in the stables to sort out their own scheme. “Adal!” he called. A few stable boys paused in their grooming of the ponies to turn and see who was shouting.

“Over here!” A reply came from the very back.

Flambard found his cousin in the very last stall tying a rucksack onto his pony. He smiled, “Good!” said Flambard, “I need to go fetch my own pack--it's all ready to go.”

“Well hurry up, Flam,” called Adalgrim, “I don’t have all day.” A few seconds later, Flambard was a couple stalls down, tying his pack onto his own pony. “What took you so long?” he smirked. “I thought your pack was in the Smials.”

“No,” he replied, “it appears you and I are thinking alike in this matter. I cannot let another day go by without knowing where my son is, or if he’s all right. They’ve already got a whole day on us.  From what I remember our old Uncle saying, the Havens are a good two days ride west of the Shire. If all I can do is sit at the borders and wait for my son’s return, then there is where I will sit.”

“Shouldn’t you take your arrows?” Flambard asked. “We’ll be near the Outlands.”

Adalgrim thought about it. “Do you have yours with you?” His cousin nodded. “Then I think that is all we shall need.”

“You’ll need this,” Flambard tossed his cousin a thick blanket roll. “It’s getting quite cool at night now.”

Adalgrim was relieved to have a good friend accompany him. “Seems you’ve thought of everything. Is there anything else you can think of before we leave?” he grinned. “Do you need to use the privy?”

“You’re so hilarious this morning,” said Flambard sarcastically, then opened his saddle bag, he lifted out a couple of corked and sealed bottles containing a dark liquid. “We’ll need this to keep warm should the fires go out.”

“I have enough fire in me to last until I see Paladin again.” Adalgrim took his pony’s reins and led it outside, along with Flambard and his pony. He then pulled himself up into the saddle. “Ready?” They nodded together in agreement; Flambard was now mounted. “Ha!” Adalgrim slapped the reins on his pony. He and Flambard galloped as far as their ponies could take them.

~ ~ ~

The company arose early before dawn to get an early start. It would be a long march today though no one was actually marching. Everyone either rode on a horse, or drove the cart. It was the cart that was slowing them all down, yet the cart went faster than if they had walked. They made good time as when they passed the Far Downs to their left around noontime, then made to camp for lunch. “Another thirty miles or so,” said Gandalf, as he let his horse graze the neighboring field.

Adelard sat on a log next to Paladin as the group of travelers took their lunch in a small clearing a few hundred feet south of the road. Thorongil and Elrohir had caught and roasted several wild rabbits on a spit; he and Paladin had gone and dug through their own provisions and pulled out enough food to feed a hungry crowd, such as their own. So for lunch they all feasted on roasted rabbit, salted meats, cheese, bread, and apples. A fine lunch up to hobbit standards. Now having eaten, the boys felt much better and able to handle another thirty miles to the Havens. Adelard scooted onto the ground at his feet to lean back against the log. Paladin followed him, as both lads filled and lit their pipes.

Thorongil found himself mesmerized by the sight of two ‘children’ smoking pipes--and blowing smoke rings as expertly as him. He turned away to ask Gandalf in a low voice, “Is it customary for young children of the Shire to smoke pipes?”

Gandalf laughed at his friend’s comment. “Absolutely not! If these were young children, Bilbo and Isengar would never have allowed them to come this far. While these lads are not adults, they are not young children, either.” He went on to explain how a hobbit-child ages.

Suddenly Bilbo’s voice rose up in a song; it was a song about food (naturally), drink, and the company of good friendship. It was an easy tune to pick up, so after the first round, Isengar, Adelard, and even Paladin joined in the merry song.

Gandalf leaned close to Thorongil while the hobbits sang, “Now that you have met a few, what do you think?”

Thorongil was quiet for a moment in silence pondering his answer. “I think…I shall miss seeing their jolly nature while in the south.” In his mind, he was seeing a young hobbit lad holding onto the breeches of another while the second lad threw well-aimed apples at unknown danger. Gandalf himself said that they were courageous in battle. “But I now understand what you have been telling me this past week. I begin to feel that if a rain cloud were to appear out of the blue over their heads while they danced, they would simply throw up an umbrella and continue on.”

“Indeed they would,” answered Gandalf. “They have rain songs, too, you know!” The two friends laughed at the shared jest.

Then Bilbo got up, walked over to Elrond’s sons, luring them into the song. Elladan spoke into the hobbit’s ears then joined in the song. After the next round, the song was ended. Bilbo stood up to speak, “My friends, Elladan and Elrohir have a song to sing.” He bowed low as a good host, then sat back down to listen. Their voices harmonized well together; the song was smooth and melodious. Only Bilbo understood most of the words. He tried to interpret as best as he could for the hearing of his uncle and cousins.

When the song was ended, they group silently broke camp and began the last leg of their journey to the sea.

_{*For Pearl :-)}

Chapter Ten - The Havens

As the company drew near to the sea, the overheavens had changed somewhat. The clouds sailed a bit lower to the ground and were puffier in appearance than the ones that sailed high above the Shire. Paladin noticed a twinge of salt in the air as he took in a long breath. At one point, the Big Folk and the elder hobbits stopped to gape at the scenery before them. They stood at the crest of a ridge in the Road that gradually sloped down into the Harbor town of the Grey Havens. Adelard and Paladin stood motionless at the sight.

“What are we waiting for, eh?” Isengar and Bilbo were the first to start the trek downward. The sun was only yet descending towards the distant horizon, so there was plenty of sunlight for the next couple hours. As he began walking down the Road, Paladin pinched himself to see if it were a dream, or if this was really happening to him. He was looking at the Sea! And while still descending the slope, he saw to the south of the town that there were waves washing up onto the shore! He wanted with all his heart to touch one of the foamy waves. What would it feel like?

Entering the harbor, the seagulls cried their welcome to the visitors. Adelard and Paladin gazed upward watching them glide gracefully across the canopy of clouds and blue sky. To Paladin they were beautiful; most had a long, thin white tail that he thought made them look majestic in the air as they flew.

Having put up their pony and cart, the group walked further down the boardwalk to the ship landing. The ship was not moored at its berth on the landing, but was anchored out in the harbor. Instead, a smaller boat that would be able to carry all of them was tied alongside the wooden landing-stage. Thorongil tossed his sack down into the boat, then took Isengar’s pack and tossed it also. He made to take Paladin’s but suddenly aware of what the tall man was doing, he backed off. “No, thank you,” he said.

“Are you not coming with us?” Thorongil asked.

“I’m…I--I guess not. I will sit and wait for you all here.” Paladin tried to swallow his fear of boats, but it stuck in his throat like hard bread crust. He suddenly felt lonely.

“I will wait with you, cousin,” said Adelard, also looking at the boat with much revulsion. “Sorry, Uncle, but I cannot ride in that…that…boat.”

Thorongil looked helplessly at Gandalf, who chuckled under his breath. “Thorongil, my friend, you may yet see the courage and pluck of the Little Folk, but there is one drawback,” he said. “They dislike boats immensely.”

“Dislike?” said Adelard. “That seems too easy of a word; more like detest!”

Still chuckling, Gandalf explained, “I sent Isengar a letter and offered him one last ride upon the sea; even if it is only in this little boat.” He smiled at the Seahobbit. “To see one last time, Cí rdan’s ship and feel the sea under his legs.” Isengar smiled back. “And to bid his final farewell--for now--to the Shipwright.” Gandalf looked once again to Thorongil, “More than likely, Isengar will be the only hobbit sailing with us to the ship, though I daresay if pressed to it, they would all jump in without the slightest bit of hesitation. Elladan and Elrohir can easily mind the young hobbits and Bilbo while we are seeing you off.”

With that said, Thorongil jumped into the waiting boat, next was Gandalf. With an astonished gaze, Thorongil watched as the old hobbit deftly unraveled the line from the bollards, threw the line at him--as if he were supposed to catch it, then carefully slid inside the boat just as it drifted away from the landing. He smiled, “Well done, Master Isengar!”

The hobbits and the elves stood waving until the boat was safely moored to Cí rdan’s ship.

“Come,” Elladan finally spoke, “Let us sup on the fruit of the sea.”

The lads turned to follow the others. Every bit a farmer’s son, Paladin whispered to Adelard, “Fruit of the Sea? I didn’t know the sea bore fruit.”

Adelard laughed, “I think he meant that we would eat whatever that dreadful place breeds underneath its waves.”

“Mister Elladan,” Paladin spoke loudly, “What exactly did you have in mind when you said ‘sup’?”

The Elf laughed, “Come, and you will see!”

~ ~ ~

Before she knew it, Esmeralda had spent nearly all day with Mira and Saradoc. They laughed and exchanged stories and happenings throughout the Shire-proper and Buckland. Eventually though, it was past tea and coming up on supper time. Rorimac came inside the suite and seeing Esmeralda sitting there, motioned for his son to follow him into the back rooms.

Esmeralda stood up, “I think I should be taking my leave now.”

“I have thoroughly enjoyed your company all day, Essie,” said Mirabella. “Will you be dropping by again tomorrow?”

“I don’t know,” the girl replied, “I think Mister Rory might have something to say about that.”

“Nonsense, child!” Mira smiled, “You are my guest tomorrow. Please come by again for lunch.” Not telling Esmeralda that she reminded Mirabella of herself when she was a young lass.

“Thank you,” said Esmeralda, accepting the invitation. She was enjoying the matron’s company as well. It was as if the elderly hobbit was a kindred spirit. “What time shall I stop by?” she asked.

“A quarter to one would be splendid,” replied Mirabella. “Please ask your mum if you may stay and chat the afternoon with an old lass.”

“I would love to,” Esmeralda bent down and hugged Mira. “And thank you. Please tell Saradoc I had to leave; I wouldn’t want to get you or him into any further trouble.”

“Trouble?” Mira gave Esmeralda a warm hug in return, “I’m not in any trouble, Essie. Unlike my brother--although my family allows me to have as many friends of whomever I choose. I will look forward to your visit tomorrow.”

Chapter Eleven - Down by the Sea

Paladin was unaware that fish could taste so scrumptious. Though this fish was different than what he and Addie would catch in the streams around Tookland, or even in the Brandywine. These fish had a taste all their own-and served with a sauce that enhanced the flavor. Where Elladan had led them felt more like someone’s home that of an eating house. “I’m so comfortable I almost feel like sleeping right here where I sit,” he remarked to the elf sitting next to him.

“You do not have to do that, Master Hobbit,” Elladan laughed, “Ë arwen

Will show you to your rooms shortly.”

“You mean we won’t have to camp out on the sand tonight?’

“No more than you would sleep on the banks of the river Baranduin in the Shire,” he replied. “First, there will be singing, and then we shall all retire to our rooms.”

Soon, an elf maiden came and offered them more drink, then took their empty plates. Adelard thought she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

Bilbo caught Adelard staring at her. “Careful, lad,” Bilbo grinned, whispering into Adelard’s ear, “She’s an older lass--much older!”

“When will Gandalf and Uncle Isengar return?” Paladin was now getting anxious about home.

“Not until the morrow,” Elladan answered, “it is too dangerous to sail in a small boat after nightfall.”

Now that the adventure of seeing the Grey Havens was over with, Paladin was not looking forward to the greeting he would receive upon his return.

The following morning was bright and cheerful. After breakfast the lads ran down to the landing-stage to await their uncle. They sat upon the wooden planks dangling their feet listening to the rippling waves splash against the columns underneath the stage.

“Would you lads care to touch the sea?” The tweens turned abruptly to see Bilbo, Elladan, and Elrohir.

“Yes! I would like that very much,” said Paladin. In his mind, he still could see the foamy waves breaking upon the sands of the harbor.

“The water is still warm this time of year,” said Elrohir, leading the boys through the town, onto the sand then towards the waves. “Be careful to not get pulled in by the undertow.” Elrohir was a strong swimmer; he would see to the safety of the hobbits while they explored the sea waves and the treasures it left behind in the sand.

Once Paladin and Adelard understood the waves were mere water and foam, never to harm them, they ran up and down the sand laughing and squealing like small boys discovering the feel of grass under their feet for the first time. Even Bilbo got in the fun, but stayed a healthy distance on the shore. Paladin never forgot the feel of the soft, wet sand between his toes.

“Look!” said Adelard, “They’re returning!” Indeed, a small boat could be seen departing the larger ship in the harbor and heading towards the landing stage they previously sat upon in the town. Bilbo, Adelard, and Elladan headed back to center of town where the landing-stage was.

Paladin lingered behind on the sand, spotting a small, pinkish object lying embedded therein. “What is this?” he asked Elrohir.

“It belongs to one of many sea creatures that live in the sea, now parted from its home.”

“This is a sea-creature’s home?”

“Yes,” answered the elf. “Do you find that so unusual?”

Paladin then thought of the small snails and river insects he saw nearby the clear water while fishing in the streams back in the Shire. “No, I suppose not. May I keep this one?”

“You may,” Elrohir replied, “I expect the creature now sundered from it has most likely found another home elsewhere. Come; let us greet your uncle.” Paladin carefully packed the shell into his rucksack, then ran to catch up to the others.

~ ~ ~

Adalgrim and Flambard set up camp about a half-mile inside the western Shire boundary. Close enough to the border to see any activity on the Road, and far enough away to keep the Outlanders at bay. If anyone traveling stopped to give a greeting, the hobbits either ignored them, or if they had ample warning, they would hide among the underbrush, never to be seen.

It was cold at night, and just as Flambard warned, the fire would often burn down to embers, or go out completely. The chill in his bones woke up Adalgrim before he was ready to, which put him in a foul mood.

“Wake up, Flam,” he nudged his cousin with his foot. “I’ll get breakfast started if you go down to the brook and fill up our waterskins.”

Flambard had not slept well, either. “All right,” he answered, “just stop kicking me.”

On his way back from filling the skins, Flambard saw a dark shape in the distant grasses and decided to investigate. As he got close, he could make out the awful shape of a body under a pile of rocks…a dead body. Gathering his nerves and his stomach, he ran all the way back to camp.

“I saw it, I tell you!” Flambard stood trembling, out of breath and leaning up against the slim birch that they had camped under. “I couldn’t tell if it was a Man or an Elf for all of the rocks over top of it, but it looked like Tall Folk of some sort.”

While they were growing up, Flambard had told his fair share of larger-than-life tales, and so Adalgrim would not be satisfied until he saw it for himself. So off they went, Flambard leading the way.

“What do you think?” he asked Adalgrim.

“Don’t know, but let’s have a look around. I want to see if there are any dead hobbits around here as well.”

They scanned the entire area on both sides of the Road--and even missed breakfast in the process. It was getting close to elevenses when Adalgrim called a halt. It would do neither one any good if they starved themselves in order to find a sign as to how the dead thing perished, as they called it, seeing they had no notion if it was a Man or not. They could always come back to it.

“Hullo!” Flambard was crouching down the road a ways peering into the dirt Road. “Looks like a large group of folks stopped over here.”

“But we can’t be certain it was Bilbo and the lads,” Adalgrim was now standing beside his cousin looking at the foot tracks. “Everything has been stepped on and muddled.”

“I think they stopped here,” said Flambard resolutely. “Most likely attacked by that varmint now buried under rocks over there.” He indicated with a nod in the direction of the dead body.

Adalgrim admonished his younger cousin, “Really? And just how did an old hobbit, two tweens and one cracked hobbit contain that huge fellow, eh?” Adalgrim immediately felt like a fool. “I’m sorry, Flam. I’m so worried over Paladin--and Addie, too. I apologize for snapping at you.”

“I understand, Adal,” Flam replied. “I’m worried for the lads, too. Why don’t we take an early lunch and come back to all of this?”

The hobbits took their early lunch sitting in the sunshine. It was simple fare, as they were eager to get an early start on the Road the day before, they had packed only a few meats; the rest of their food was mainly bread, cheese, and apples.

“I do think they were attacked,” Flambard broke the silence. He had finished his lunch as was making ready for another sweep across the fields.

“I’m reluctant to think of anything yet,” answered his cousin. “If we don’t find any hint of a fight or anything else dead, then I believe we can assume that they are reasonably safe…for now.” Though it will be a long time before Paladin sees Bilbo again, he said to himself.

Chapter Twelve - Waiting Together

“Would you care to picnic under the veranda, Grandmother?” Saradoc set the wheelchair beside the gate then slowly escorted his grandmother with one arm while holding a picnic basket in the other.

“While the sun is still warm?” she asked, holding firmly onto his arm. “No, laddie. I can see a sunny patch yonder near the rose trellis.”

“But that is a long way for you to walk,” he replied.

“I’ll tell you when it’s a long way for me to walk, young hobbit!” Mirabella playfully patted his hand, interlocked with hers.

Saradoc laughed, “Yes, Ma’am!”

“Mira!”

Saradoc turned round to see their friend running up to the gate. “Esmeralda! I’m glad you got word that Grandmother decided to picnic outdoors today.”

“I did, and I am glad; isn’t it a beautiful day outside?” Esmeralda tried to help, taking the basket from Saradoc.

“The basket is quite heavy--why don’t you walk with Grandmother?”

Mirabella cackled. “First he tells me the trellis is too far to walk, and now he tells you the basket is too heavy! Stubborn Brandybucks! Ha!” she tenderly rubbed the new hand clasped in her own, “we Took women have more fiber than you Brandybuck lads like to think.”

“Gracious me, and now I’m outnumbered!” laughed Saradoc, now carrying the basket in both arms.

“Yes you are; now be a good lad and spread the blankets for us by the trellis.”

While Saradoc hurried on ahead, Esmeralda became curious. “I thought Mister Rory forbade Sara from leaving his room?”

“He did,” Mira replied, “but as the lad is my attendant this visit, he is allowed to accompany me to walk in outside in the gardens.”

“Oh.”

“Well, that and I also told Rory that if he made that boy spend one more day indoors without any fresh air, I was going to turn him over my knee.” Mira smiled satisfactorily when her statement garnered a hearty laugh from Esmeralda. “My Rory can never say ‘no’ to me, and I suppose I could never say ‘no’ to him, either.”

After a couple minutes of walking, they reached the large blankets that were spread out on the ground by Saradoc. Both young hobbits helped the old matron to sit down on the ground then set up the picnic meal.

“When do you think they will return?” Saradoc was pouring water into three mugs.

“Whom? My brother and father?” Esmeralda took two mugs, sitting one before Mirabella and one next to her own plate. “I imagine tomorrow, perhaps? I don’t know how far they’ve traveled so I can’t be certain as to when they will return.”

“The Grey Havens lie directly west, about a day and a half’s drive from the Shire.” Both young hobbits looked at the elderly woman.

Esmeralda voiced their questioning gaze, “How did you know that?”

“Isengar told me everything from his first adventure all the way through to his last one at Rivendell.” she looked out westward where she thought the Elf harbor town lay in the far distance. “Everyone laughs at him, calls him unnatural. But they don’t know anything. Gandalf brought him home the first time with a six-inch wound stitched up in his right side. Our brothers tried to pass it off as him falling out of a moving wagon. How absurd! The boy had no bruises, no scrapes or cuts--except for a black eye and the jagged scar, no other wounds were visible. There is no possible way for a hobbit to fall out of a moving wagon and not bear other injuries. And then I’d hear him at night crying about killing…,” Mira trailed off. “No, I don’t believe any of that happened in the Shire. My brother may like to embellish his tales to make them sound grander than they already are, but he has never lied to me about his wanderings.”

“Then why don’t other hobbits just let him be?” asked Saradoc.

Mira took yet another pause from her plate, considering her grandson’s question. “I suppose it’s because people just like to talk. I daresay when it isn’t Isengar they’re jeering its Bilbo Baggins. Fortinbras may overstep his duties in looking after Isengar, but one can’t wholly blame him. When I was eighteen years old and Isengar was sixteen, Hildifons, our older brother, decided one morning to go on a long journey alone. He took his pony and set out for Bree. Isengar begged to go with him,” Mira sighed, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m so glad that he didn’t. It broke mother’s heart when our brother failed to return. I believe Fortinbras is frightened of the prospect of certain young hobbits following in Isengar’s footsteps, and then ending up like Hildifons.”

This bit of Took history was interesting to Esmeralda. “How did Hildifons end up?”

“For the most part, we only guessed that he died somehow,” said Mira, “but apparently Gandalf knew who or what killed him and when. After father’s death, he told Isengar about it, and then Isengar told me.”

Esmeralda never considered the dangers that lurked outside of Gandalf’s control. She loved her own brother dearly, and it would be her fault for not saying something sooner to her parents if anything happened to Paladin. Now she understood. Grief filled her heart and she burst into tears.

Mirabella reached over and held the girl in her arms. Saradoc gave her his handkerchief. “There now, lass,” she soothed Esmeralda. “You and I can wait together. We will wait for our brothers’ return, eh?”

Sniffling, Esmeralda nodded, “I’d like that--thank you.”

* * * * * *

Paladin paused in his storytelling; after all these years, the grief his sister felt in the garden now weighed on him. Then he heard sniffling nearby--it was Pearl. He said nothing, merely handing her his handkerchief like young Saradoc of long ago.

“Why don’t we all see if Dahlia is in need of help with supper or getting more firewood?”

“Please don’t stop, Papa,” Pervinca pleaded in a soft voice.

“We have all been sitting for a long time, Sweet Pea,” he said, “Let’s move about for a while then we can meet back here when all is done.”

Quietly, the children got up to see about Dahlia and supper. Merry walked alongside his uncle out to the woodpile in the barn, all bundled up with little Pippin tagging behind them. Pippin was giggling as he stomped in nearly every water puddle.

“Pippin lad, you will get yourself all wet doing that,” said Paladin, lifting the child into the wheelbarrow he then continued on towards the barn to fetch dry wood. “At least the rain has stopped long enough for us to bring fire wood inside.”

“Uncle?” Merry asked.

“Yes, Merry?”

“Was there ever any danger out there? I mean the kind that Gandalf couldn’t put a stop to.”

Paladin thought about it while they stopped and loaded up the barrow, then let out a long breath. “I didn’t think about it then, but I suppose there is always an element of danger when one leaves his home behind. The only danger I remember from that time is the poor unfortunate who was giving us chase--and I still don’t know why he was chasing us. Gandalf never said more than that the creature was following him, and he wasn’t the only one he caught doing so.” Paladin once more picked up the five-year-old and carefully placed him atop the wood, then lifted the wheelbarrow to head back to the smial. “Hold on to the sides, Pippin.”

If his uncle went on one adventure…Merry suddenly had a thought. “You’re not thinking of going on any more adventures, are you Uncle?”

“Absolutely not!” laughed Paladin. “I have too many responsibilities.”

“What if you didn’t have all these responsibilities?”

“Then I suppose I would be like Bilbo; wandering and tramping everywhere and be the talk of the Shire.”

Merry felt the cold November chill seep clear through his jacket. Pulling his cloak closer about him he ventured another question. “What about Gandalf?”

Paladin set the wheelbarrow down near the kitchen door. “Mercy, child!” Paladin chuckled. “How many more questions do you have inside you?” He lifted Pippin up off of the wood and then set him down on the ground.

“One more,” undaunted, Merry went on, “If I went on an adventure like Bilbo to fight dragons and trolls…would you miss me?”

Paladin stood smiling, running his hand through the boy’s curls then pulled him into a hug, “Of course I’d miss you. And like Esmeralda waited for me, I would wait for you.” Merry wrapped both arms around his uncle’s waist.

Not to be outdone by his older “brother”, Pippin asked, “If Merry gets to go on a ‘venture, can I go too, Papa?”

“No, you may not!” Paladin smirked, placing two small pieces of wood in Pippin’s arms to carry inside, “I need someone to stay behind and help me gather firewood!”

“All right, I’ll stay, Papa.”

“Thank you, Pip.”

Chapter Thirteen - Sad Partings

“You’re a bit warm, my dear.” Paladin smoothed away the locks from her forehead while feeling for warmth.

“Oh, Paladin,” Eglantine replied, with weariness in her voice. “It’s nothing. You’ve been minding the children all day; you must be exhausted.”

“It’s ‘nothing’ now because you were a good lass and stayed in bed all day.” He set the supper tray on the bed next to her, then kissed her brow.

“But how are the children behaving? Are they fussing a lot? They’ve been indoors for several days now.”

“They are behaving very well, I’ll have you know. I’m telling them a grand old story,” he smiled, holding her hand. “I can manage five young hobbits, so don’t you worry.” He failed to mention the upheaval taking place before he began the story.

“What is the story you’re telling them?”

“It’s about the time I went off with Bilbo and my uncle for a few days--you remember that, don’t you?”

“Yes, very much; it was almost a month before I saw you again. And I got only four letters during that time. I was wondering more at what happened to Addie,” Eglantine smiled mischievously. “It was he that I was in love with--I looked forward to him bringing your love letters to my doorstep! But bless your dear sister--if it wasn’t for her, I would have received no letters at all--nor you either. You never did tell me everything that went on during that time,” she said wistfully, looking over to the pink sea-shell lying on her vanity.

“There are plenty more cold rainy days before spring, my love,” answered Paladin. “I must get back to the children before they become restless.” He bent down and kissed her. “I shall send Dahlia in to keep you company for a while.”

Back in the sitting room, there Paladin found the children settled around the tea table once again, but eating their supper this time.

“This is fun,” said Pervinca. “May we do this again tomorrow?”

“I don’t think so,” her father answered, slicing the meat on Pippin’s plate into bite-sized pieces. “Hopefully the rains will have stopped and all of you children can go outside, then later come in and eat properly at the kitchen table.” He smiled at the possibility of the children getting out of the smial and into the sunshine. No fussing!

Pearl and Pimpernel exchanged looks; they wanted the story to continue. “I think you left off with Auntie in the garden with Uncle Saradoc and Aunt Mirabella.”

“Ah, yes,” Paladin set his mind back on the story path. “I could see two hobbits in the Road…”

* * * * * *

Paladin could see two hobbits in the road ahead. He steeled himself for the verbal lashing that was soon to follow. He, Adelard, and the entire group, subtract one Thorongil, were nearly to the western border of the Shire after departing the Grey Havens shortly after the little boat arrived at the landing. Paladin found that he missed his home; he enjoyed very much the sand and the sea, but he truly missed home. “Oy,” he put his head in his hands. “I won’t see daylight for months!”

“Perhaps they’ll be kind and lock us in a prison room together,” Adelard chuckled.

“You’re not funny, Addie.”

“I thought I was,” Addie said, emptying his pipe. “I say the sooner we meet them, the sooner it’s all over with.” Apparently, twenty-nine-year-old hobbits were as subject to “fatherly concern” as were the younger tweens.

“Young lads who go on adventures ought to expect a bit of retribution upon their return, shouldn’t they Isengar?” Gandalf grinned at the Seahobbit.

Isengar shifted uncomfortably in the saddle, “I don’t remember.”

Bilbo laughed derisively, “No…you’ll merely be laughed at and called names behind your back, though they often get told in front of you, too.”

Paladin was getting nauseous, “You’re only trying to frighten us, aren’t you Bilbo?”

“I’m only trying to prepare you, boy,” said Bilbo, “for the days ahead if folks in these parts discover you’ve been abroad in foreign places.”

Adelard drove the cart while Paladin sat next to him. Isengar and Bilbo once again rode double upon the horses; Isengar with Gandalf, and Bilbo with Elladan.

“Whoa!” cried Adelard, pulling up on the reins. Taking a deep breath, he gave a nod to his close friend. They both hopped down out of the cart to face their fathers.

~ ~ ~

Adalgrim stood next to Flambard in the middle of the Road, arms crossed in anger. That Bilbo! He would tell him plenty before the day was done. And his Paladin! Adalgrim was seething at his son’s obvious deception. Camping indeed! He was planning on telling them all a thing or two about taking young tween-aged lads far from home.

Flambard stood silently next to his cousin in the Road. For his part, he would wait until Adelard gave full account of what he did and why. No need to humiliate his boy until all was said and done. Both hobbits awaited the procession coming toward them with trepidation.

Once the travelers had stopped in the path before the two hobbits, the young tweens were first to approach them. Adelard was first, “Hullo, Dad.”

Flambard threw his arms around his son and held him, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You’re home,” he kept whispering.

Adelard wept, too, now seeing the grief on his father’s face.

Paladin stood a safe distance in front of Adalgrim, unsure of what sort of greeting he would receive after the deceitfulness he pulled. The air was tense as these two faced off.

Without warning, Adalgrim pulled his boy into his arms, weeping. All his anger was spent on worrying; yes, Paladin would reap the benefits of his disobedience, but he was now once again safe in the arms of his father.

“Father, I--” Paladin began.

“Not now, son,” replied Adalgrim. He looked up at Gandalf and Bilbo, “I’m taking my boy home now.”

“But Father! I--” One look from his father silenced Paladin.

“I trust you can help Isengar home?” Though it was not really a question, but a charge from Adalgrim to his cousin Bilbo. Adelard untied his pony all ready and packed for the trip back to Great Smials. Paladin ran back for his own rucksack then hoisted himself into his father’s saddle as instructed. Flambard and Adelard did much the same.

Turning round in the saddle, Paladin waved farewell.  "Goodbye, Gandalf," he shouted sadly, sorrowful of the partings.  He wanted to say more, but never had the chance.

Gandalf sat in his own saddle watching the fathers and sons ride off down the Road. “Do me a favor, Bilbo.”

“Yes, Gandalf?”

“Keep an eye on those two lads,” he answered. “Not because I fear they have seen too much, but because they are good lads; they may need your friendship when all of this is over.” He knew Bilbo had few close friends, and Bilbo’s watching over Adelard and Paladin would be a way for them to all come together.

~TBC~

Chapter Fourteen - The Aftermath 

“Tim!” Flambard called to the landlord of the Red Robin Inn. “We’d like a table out of the way, please.”

Tim, a distant cousin to Flambard on his mother’s side, smirked at the road-weary hobbits, “I take it the camping didn’t go well, eh?”

Flambard and Adalgrim exchanged looks. Camping? Flambard only replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We just need to talk to our lads in private, is all.”

Tim laughed, “As I was saying, it must not have gone well; you look worse than your lads!” He set the group in a corner table nearest to the back door. “How’s the fishing up north?”

Flambard gave a confused look to his cousin across the table, shaking his head, “Uh…we didn’t catch anything.”

“The fish always looks fatter in someone else’s stream, I say!” answered Tim. “My Niola will be by in a minute to set your board.”

Flambard waited until Tim was out of earshot. “Adal, he thinks we went fishing up in the Northfarthing!”

“Good,” said Adalgrim, “let them think that. And don’t you lads offer anything contrary to it, either. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” the lads replied.

“What do you lads have to say for yourselves?” Flambard’s anger was brewing again. “You have no idea what you’ve put your mothers through, not to mention us, your fathers.” The younger hobbits merely hung their heads.

“Father,” Paladin summoned up the courage to ask about his immediate future. “What is my punishment?”

At moment, they were interrupted by a young serving maid with a trolley. “Hullo my name is Niola,” she said, placing a plate and full mug before each hungry Took. Next, she removed the bowls of steaming, hot food and put them on the table. “Is there anything else?”

“Yes.” All eyes shifted over to a starry-eyed Adelard. The poor tween was in love with just about every lass he’d run into the past week. It was the first time Paladin grinned since they were swept away by their fathers on the road.

“No, thank you, miss,” said Flambard, nudging his son’s leg under the table. “We’ll call you when we’re done.”

Adalgrim went on to answer Paladin’s question, “I think you already know most of it.”

Paladin did have much of it guessed. “Locked up for six months?”

“Try the next nine years!” Adal shot back. “Paladin, you’ve been so well behaved all summer until this-- I mean, last week,” he said, remembering the goose feathers. “I don’t want to discourage your good behavior, so I will only confine you to your room for one month. But I warn you, son--never do this again.”

~ ~ ~

Bilbo and Isengar sat side-by-side in the cart while saying their farewells to Gandalf and the elves. They had ridden on together until the Waymeet road was to their right. Gandalf reached into his bag and produced a small package.

“I nearly forgot; here is something that the dwarves gave me to give to you, Bilbo. What in Middle-earth did you purchase?”

“Thank you, Gandalf!” Bilbo took the package and stowed it beneath the bench. “It’s a little gift I got for the lads for my birthday later this month, though I don’t think I’ll be seeing either of them for a long time.”

“Nonsense!” said Isengar. “I know Adal--he has a temper, but he will cool down before long. I give them a month before they’re knocking on my door again,” Isengar shook a finger at his nephew, “and you had better be in my quarters when they do, young hobbit!”

Bilbo smiled, then gazed at his longtime friend, “Goodbye, Gandalf.”

“This is not goodbye, dear Bilbo,” smiling, the Wizard replied, “but…until we meet again.” Then Gandalf walked over to the passenger side of the cart, enfolding Isengar in a long embrace. “You and I will meet again someday, though perhaps not in Middle-earth.” Gandalf saw the years peel away from Isengar; once again seeing the young tween who stowed away on his cart to see the Sea long ago. “May the One bless you and keep you.”

Tears flowed freely down Isengar’s face. “I will look forward to that day, Gandalf. Goodbye.”

The elves waved their farewell from their saddles, while Gandalf stood in the Road watching his beloved friends depart towards Great Smials.

~ ~ ~

Paladin knocked on the guest quarters that belonged to the Master of Buckland--or his delegate. He was met by Rory Brandybuck. “Hullo, Paladin,” he said. “Have a nice holiday abroad?”

Paladin was nervous in his greeting. “Uh…good evening sir. They’re having a meeting in the common room before supper is served and my father asks for you to attend as well. I’ve also come to greet my sister; my mother tells me she’s here with Mistress Brandybuck.”

Rory opened the door wide enough for the tween to pass through. “Come in, but I must ask that you keep your visit short. My Saradoc is guilty of keeping your whereabouts a secret, and so he is being punished as well.”

Paladin paused before proceeding into the sitting room, “But Saradoc had no idea where we were going.”

“I told him,” Esmeralda spoke apologetically, standing near the doorway. “I let him read your letter.”

“Mum, I am on my way to the common room for a meeting,” Rory called to his mother. “I will meet you and Sara in the dining room for supper.” Then he turned to Paladin, “Good evening to you as well, Master Wanderer, please keep your visit short.”

“Whew!” Paladin breathed a sigh of relief. “That went well. How is it that you get to visit with Saradoc and I don’t?” he asked Esmeralda.

“Because I’m visiting Mira--not that Saradoc,” she answered, grinning over at her other good friend sitting next to his grandmother. She added in a lower tone, “He kept your secret, Paladin--that’s why he’s been punished so harshly.”

“It seems I owe you both then,” he said. The siblings smiled at each other then hugged. “I saw the Sea Essie!” he whispered excitedly in her ear.

“Come in here, laddie, and tell us all about your adventure!” Mirabella called out. “Is Isengar with you?”

“No, Ma’am,” said Paladin, “my father and Addie’s father both took us away from the Road without so much as a goodbye to Bilbo and Uncle Isengar. Gandalf was still there, so they were in no danger or anything when we left them.” He saw Saradoc sitting in a chair with a bundle of yarn in his lap, unraveling it for his grandmother. “I wasn’t being a very good cousin when I left, Saradoc. I’m sorry--and I want to thank you. Perhaps we can all get together and do something when we’re all off our punishments.” He grinned when he saw Saradoc grin.

“I’d like that,” Saradoc responded.

“Well, lad? I’m not getting any younger while you stand there,” said Mirabella. “Come have a seat and tell us everything.”

“I can’t tell you everything, Ma’am. My father forbids me to talk about most of it.”

“Well tell us what you can, then I’ll guess the rest,” Mira winked at him. “I have experience with this.”

Chapter Fifteen - One Month Later…

“Why Esmeralda! You look different today!” A young Eglantine laughed, while peeking around the old willow tree where she would meet her friend while Paladin was confined to his room. Normally, this is where she and Paladin would meet for a little privacy away from their families. A heart had been carved out in the bark with hers and Paladin’s initials in it.

Paladin stood up at the sweet sound of her voice. “Hullo, Tina.”

She eyed him teasingly, “So the prisoner has been set free--or did he escape?” She took the envelope he held out to her.

“Set free, it seems,” he said. For a moment they only looked in each other’s eyes. “I missed you.”

“And I you.”

Paladin leaned in and kissed her cheek. Eglantine held his face as she kissed him on the lips under the shade of the willow branches. They held hands as they walked among the colorful trees in the meadow.

“I have a gift for you, but I must ask that you keep it hidden.” Paladin went into most of his journey the month before. He then opened up his rucksack that he brought with him, and took out the little treasure he found on the sands of the Grey Havens.

Eglantine took the seashell, knowing she had never seen the like of it. “What is it? It’s beautiful!” She kept turning it around, eyes sparkling at the ornament in her hands.

“It used to be a sea-creature’s home, but it seems he left it behind. Elrohir said I could keep it.” He saw her questioning gaze at the elf’s name. “Just someone who was there.”

She smiled mischievously, “You keep it for me, Paladin; give it to me as a wedding gift.”

“But that’s a long way off.”

Tina chuckled, “It is, isn’t it? But I will wait patiently for it.”

Paladin smiled, “The wedding, or the gift?”

“For both, silly boy.”

Paladin squeezed her hand, “Will you ride with me to the Smials for a short visit with my Uncle Isengar? I promise to bring you back home before supper.”

They rode double on Paladin’s pony, Dumpling, towards Great Smials. He received a letter from his dear uncle requesting him to visit as soon as he was able. Paladin had taken Eglantine to visit Uncle Isengar with him on occasion before, and since it had been a long time (to Paladin) that he had seen either of them, he wanted to take her this time as well.

“Hullo, Paladin! Come in, come in!” said Isengar, opening his door. “I was beginning to wonder if you would come at all. Addie’s been here all day with his new friend. Come and meet her.”

Her? Paladin and Eglantine exchanged looks of amusement as they walked further into Isengar’s quarters. When they entered the sitting room, they saw Adelard Took and Niola Silverspoon sitting on the couch quite comfy and close together.

“We’re free!!” cried Addie, laying aside his pipe and taking his cousin into a tight hug. “I’d like you meet--well, you’ve met her already, but this is Miss Niola from the Red Robin Inn where her father is the landlord.”

“Pleased to meet you, Miss Niola,” said Paladin with a slight bow. “And at your service.”

“And I at yours,” replied Niola. “Is this the wonderful Tina I’ve been told about?” The two lasses left the lads to themselves while chatting and getting to know each other across the room.

Paladin now noticed the familiar furry feet of yet another hobbit who was sitting nearby. “Bilbo!” he shouted, then flung his arms around the elder cousin. “Father won’t allow me to leave Tookland yet to visit Hobbiton. I was beginning to fear it would be spring before I saw you again. I‘m sorry I missed your birthday.”

“I couldn’t wait until spring, either, my boy,” said Bilbo, bringing out the package Gandalf had given him on the Road a month previous. “I’m sorry you missed my birthday, too. Here is my gift to you--I gave Addie his already.”

“Bilbo!” Paladin wasted no time in ripping the package apart. **“They’re painted ponies! And this one looks just like Dumpling!” He gasped to think what they might have cost the giver. “I don’t know what to say, Bilbo…but thank you.” He hugged Bilbo again. “I shall treasure these forever--because they’re from you.” Paladin looked around the room, seeing all of his closest friends--and Tina. “This is the grandest reunion I can ever remember.” He took his ponies to Isengar for him to view them.

“Lovely, my lad.” said Isengar, sitting next to him on the couch smiling, combing back Paladin’s chestnut curls, “My lad.”

Paladin smiled sadly. He saw all the years of smiles, tears, laughter, and adventure in the old hobbit’s eyes. He would miss his uncle terribly when he passed on. Paladin pushed those melancholy thoughts away. He enveloped his dearest uncle in a tender hug, “Yes, I’m your lad, Uncle.”

* * * * * *

“And that is the end of the story,” said Paladin. Once again, he gave a sleeping Pippin over to Pearl so he could stand up to get the blood flowing in his legs. He looked at the clock over the mantelpiece; ten o’clock.

“Didn’t anyone in the Shire ever discover that you went on an adventure?” asked Pimpernel.

“No,” Paladin replied, “that’s the funny thing; they all thought we went tramping on a fishing trip in the Northfarthing. I suppose if they had seen us with Gandalf and the elves, then yes, there would be no hiding from the scorn of the townsfolk.” He crouched down to wake up Pervinca and Merry.

“I’m awake, Uncle Paladin,” Merry replied, opening his eyes just as Paladin was coming to nudge him. “I was just resting my eyes. Come to think of it, which of your painted ponies looks like old Dumpling?”

“The dapple one,” he answered, taking slumped Pippin into his arms again as they all walked wearily to the bedrooms.

So many long years, he thought, since his little expedition to the Sea. Now he was a husband to his sweetheart Tina, and the father of four beautiful children, though it should have been six, he thought sadly. He looked at Merry and smiled; his fifth child, he mused. “All of you get into your nightclothes and I’ll be around to tuck you into bed.”

After helping Pippin change into his nightshirt, Paladin tucked the blankets around the bed then kissed him. “Good night, Pippin. I love you.” The little lad is tuckered out, he thought.

Pippin yawned, “’night, Papa. Love you, too.”

Starting with Pearl, then going on down the line, Paladin made it to Merry’s room. There were several candles still lit; Paladin blew out all save one. The low fire in the small hearth would provide enough light. He poked at the embers then laid a couple more logs on the fire. As with his own children, Paladin tucked all the blankets around his nephew, but knowing Merry was awake, he sat upon the edge of the bed. “Did you need to talk tonight?”

Merry looked at his favorite uncle, “No. Not tonight, I think. Perhaps tomorrow.”

Paladin sighed. “Are you certain?” Merry nodded. “Very well, then,” he answered, leaning down to kiss him good night, he felt Merry wrap his arms around his neck. Paladin pulled his nephew up and held him for a few minutes, “But you need a hug, eh?” He felt Merry nod again. After a while he loosed Merry and laid him back down. Merry was already looking more cheerful.

“Thank you for the story, Uncle Paladin,” said Merry.

“Did you believe any of it?”

“Not a word,” Merry quickly answered, then grinned at his uncle. Paladin laughed; now that’s my Merry, he thought to himself.

Then he heard the door open up, and in walked Pippin straight up to Merry’s bed. Merry opened his blankets for his little cousin to climb into bed with him. It was as if there was a routine to all of it. Paladin merely scratched his head; this was one argument he really did not want to win. He repeated his efforts from earlier, scrunching the blankets into the mattress, then kissed both boys goodnight.

Before retiring to bed himself, Paladin made a quick trip into his study. There on the bookshelf sat two ceramic ponies. One painted a solid brown, the other a dapple. He picked up the dapple pony, gliding his fingers over cool figurine, for a moment reliving the happy reunion a long time ago. He smiled at the memory, carefully placed the pony back on the shelf, and then headed for bed.

~~ THE END! ~~

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. A special thank you to a few good friends who contributed: Pearl Took (Pippin snuggling) and Grey Wonderer (the gift-giving), and Pervinca (alas! No Paladin-Tina love story any time soon, but I put a bit there for you at the beginning of the chapter!) **The ceramic ponies debuted in The Simple Life, posted on ff.net, and made a cameo in All Joking Aside.