***This is for Luinë, who is a huge Legolas fan. Hope you like it, Luinë!!! Smiles!***

Strange creatures, these hobbits were. Small, with little care for the world at large, it seemed to me. They were happy only to smoke their pipe weed, drink their ale (disgusting refreshment), eat their food (mushrooms especially) and generally make merry. Appropriate, it was, that one of their names was Merry. I did not understand them. They were fast, always talking, laughing and on to the next subject of discussion before I even knew what they were talking about. Yet they were also slow, relaxing in the sun, smoking their pipes. Simple people, who took the easiest definition of anything, resolving the matter in their own quaint way, and then moving on.

So unlike we elves.

“Good morning, Legolas!” the youngest hobbit sang. For some reason, I could not remember his name. He was quite small, even smaller than the other hobbits, had a sweet face, even to my elvish eyes, and he looked entirely innocent. Yet there was something deep in his eyes; a hidden or buried intelligence, I thought. His eyes were bright and completely caring. “Remember me? I’m Pippin!”

“Yes, Pippin,” I said. “I do remember you. And it is a beautiful morning.”

“It is, isn’t it?” His face lit up, suddenly. “Legolas! I was off to find some second breakfast. Would you like to come?”

I must have looked confused, for that is how I felt, a feeling I was unfamiliar with. “Second breakfast?”

“Of course! It comes after breakfast!”

“I see.” I was silent for a moment, trying to understand what exactly the young hobbit was offering me. It seemed to be another meal, but could it really be? Lord Elrond had provided us all with a very large breakfast early that morning. I was quite comfortable with what he had given us, even bordering on uncomfortably full, but if this young hobbit was really asking for another meal…

“Well, are you coming?” he asked, his patience running out completely.

I looked at him, cocking my head to one side. Perhaps it was just a small snack. My curiosity was stirred, I could hardly back out now. “Yes, I believe I will!”

Never had I uttered such notorious last words. Second breakfast, it turned out, was a full-blown meal. The kitchen was in complete disarray when we arrived, having been put to work by three very hungry hobbits. With the addition of the fourth, there was no end to the advice and wants of the hobbits and the confusion of the kitchen staff. Thankfully, the staff was easily able to deal with four demanding hobbits and one dazed elf. In little time at all, or it seemed to me, the unheard of meal was laid out for the hobbits and myself.

“So, Legolas,” Frodo started. “What brings you to second breakfast? I did not think elves observed such a meal.”

I ignored Pippin’s beaming face, his cheeks full of food. “That is true, we elves do not observe second breakfast, but as your young cousin invited me and piqued my curiosity, I thought to see what it was about.” I received knowledgeable nods from Merry and… Sam, I think was his name. “I must admit, however, that I thought it was more of a snack instead of a meal.”

At this, I received shocked stares from all four hobbits.

“Oh, no, Legolas!” Pippin said. “It’s a meal! Just like luncheon or afternoon tea and dinner and supper! A snack is more like raiding the pantry.”

All this was said quite bluntly as though anyone in their right mind would know such important facts as hobbit meal times. I, however, was not so knowledgeable.

“Afternoon tea is a meal?”

“Oh yes!” Merry said, smiling. “Just as much as dinner and supper, like Pip said.”

Pip… I was confused for a moment, and then… ah, yes, he meant Pippin. “Dinner and supper?”

“Yes, Legolas!” Pippin sighed, a hint of exasperation and disbelief in his voice.

“All those are full meals?”

Frodo and Merry looked very amused. “Of course, Mr. Legolas,” Sam said, also sharing in the mirth I felt was at my expense. Pippin almost looked distraught.

The poor hobbit! He looked at me with such pity, an emotion I have never been used to directed at me. “I am sorry, but I have little experience with hobbit culture.”

“Really?” Pippin asked, amazed. “Don’t you have afternoon teas or dinners?”

“Well, yes, but afternoon tea is more like a snack and we only have one dinner and one breakfast.”

Pippin’s eyes were wide in utter amazement and horror. “Only four meals? “ he asked. “In a whole day?”

“Well, yes!” I said. “Is that not enough?”

“Of course not, Legolas!” Merry said. He seemed to be laughing inside. At me? Perhaps. “You have to have at least six meals to be a proper hobbit!”

“Is that so?” I asked. Amazing! Did they eat all day long?

“Yes!” Pippin said eagerly.

The hobbits had managed to fill me to the brim with food. By late morning, they were finished with their own meals and making sure I ate a hobbit sized portion of the second breakfast. When the last scrap of food was gone, consumed by none other than Pippin, the hobbits waved to me and left to explore Imladris. I was left to fend for myself. I walked… no I waddled… out to the courtyard, found a bench and sat down. That’s where Estel found me not long after, with my head in my hands.

“Legolas…” he started, stunned, as he had never seen me in such a state. “What happened?”

I was touched that he was worried. “Aragorn,” I said in a tone I hoped was sincere, “I doubt I shall be in for luncheon. Or afternoon tea or dinner or supper. Would you please inform Lord Elrond of that fact?” I paused for a moment, then remembered that the hobbits had said I could join them the next day for second breakfast. “And would you please tell the hobbits I shall not be able to attend another second breakfast for as long as I remain in Middle Earth?”

With that, Aragorn threw his head back and simply laughed.

The End