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The Apology  by Dreamflower

AUTHOR’S NOTES: Frodo is 16 ( age 10 in Man years )

DISCLAIMER: Middle-earth and all its peoples belong to the Tolkien Estate. I own none of them. Some of them, however, seem to own me.

THE APOLOGY

Dear Uncle Saradoc and Aunt Esmeralda,

I am very sorry I ran away.

I mean that I really am awfully sorry, and not just because Uncle Bilbo is making me write this letter. I understand now that you must have been dreadfully worried about me. I did not mean to make you worry, but I did not think things through the way that Uncle Bilbo says that I should have.

He said that I should have talked to you, Uncle Sara, about what I heard Uncle Rufus say about me. But I did not think of that. Uncle Rufus is a grown-up hobbit, and I just thought that what he said must be true, that I am a frightful trouble to you and Aunt Esme, and that it must be hard for you to put up with me all the time, when I am not cheerful and happy the way a hobbit-lad ought to be. I don’t mean to be so sad sometimes, but it is a lot of work to be cheerful, and sometimes I am too tired to try.

It is not hard to be cheerful when I can be with my Merry. I love little Merry, and he makes me happy, even when I am saddest. But then Aunt Asphodel said it was not appropriate for a lad my age to be always playing about with a baby. She said that I treated Merry like a poppet, and that he was not my personal play toy. I really did not like her to say this, because I know it is not true, but Aunt Esme, you were so busy with Aunt Menegilda being sick, that I did not want to bother you about it.

It all just made me so very sad, and the only thing I could think of was how much better it would be if I had drowned, too, and then I would not be a bother to anyone.

And then I remembered that Uncle Bilbo had told me at Yule that I would never be a bother to him, and that I could tell him anything. So I decided to come to Bag End.

It is a very long way from Buckland to Hobbiton. I did not know it was so far when I came away. It took me four whole days. I was dreadfully tired when I got here.

I like it here at Bag End. It is very quiet. Uncle Bilbo was awfully kind to me when I arrived, but he was stern also. He said that I should never have come away like that by myself, and with nobody knowing where I was, and that it was dangerous. And he said that I should have told you about the things Uncle Rufus and Aunt Asphodel said, because they were just company, even if they are family, but I live there which is more important. Even if they are grown-ups.

I know that he has written to you also, and that he is going to ask if I can stay with him for a while this spring. But he says it is not a reward, and I will have to do some extra lessons as a punishment.

Maybe it is not fair of me, but I did not tell Uncle Bilbo that I like lessons. He might think up a different punishment.

Please let me stay. I really want to be with Uncle Bilbo for a while.

But I miss my Merry.

Give him some extra hugs from me, and some kisses, too.

And I really, really meant it when I said I was sorry.

Love,

Your cousin,

Frodo Baggins





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