A Fireside Discussion

‘Boromir, tell us what it was like, the first time,’ Pippin inquired, leaning forward.
‘Pip!’ Merry admonished, frowning. ‘Tis not polite to ask about things like that.’
‘But I don’t know what it’s like, Merry, and I’m curious,’ reasoned Pippin.
‘Then you should have asked me, in private,’ Merry said. Pippin’s eyes grew wide.
‘I did not know you had any experience in the matter!’ he exclaimed.
‘I did not think it was appropriate to share, at least not without compelling reason. It was not at all that exciting, and I have very limited experience.’
‘It’s alright, Merry. I do not mind telling him things. Men are ever more open about these subjects than Elves or Hobbits, I warrant.’ Boromir adjusted his cloak and smiled at Pippin. ‘What do you want to know, lad?’
‘How old were you?’ Pippin asked eagerly.
‘I was just a teen-ager. Younger than you now, but then, you age slower than we, so that could account for it. The lass was considerably older than me, and much more experienced. She was a widow,’ Boromir explained. Around the fire sat four hobbits, one Elf, and Aragorn, asleep. Legolas was sharpening his knives against a stone from a pouch on his belt and did not appear to be listening. Frodo had his chin in his hands, and was sitting thoughtfully, not even appalled at Pippin’s behaviour. In fact, he was quite used to it. So was Merry, but it was Merry who felt responsible when Pippin suddenly acted childish, and Merry who had charged himself with Pippin’s care, so Frodo allowed Merry to intervene. Sam was shaking his head.
‘Was she very lovely?’ Pippin asked. Boromir laughed.
‘Yes, and no. She had not had a kind life, and her beauty was faded by the time she had dealings with me. But her heart was gentle, and kind, and she was a compassionate teacher. But you know, the first time can be quite awkward. Are you certain you’d rather hear this, and not something more revealing?’
‘I don’t even know where to begin,’ Pippin said. Merry added,
‘In the Shire, most hobbits have some experience with these things, but not much, and it is quite frowned upon to have too much. But experimentation is alright, if it isn’t abused. I think most older hobbits have tried it once or twice before they settled down.’
‘And some hobbits have done things that even the Shire would not approve of,’ Frodo interjected. ‘Even as peaceful as it is, the inhabitants don’t agree with everything. Adventuring, for example, is considered very bad form for a hobbit.’
‘And there is me,’ Pippin said woefully. ‘None of the lasses even look at me twice.’
‘That’s not true,’ laughed Frodo suddenly. ‘The lasses cannot keep their eyes off of you, between that Tookish charm and the Thainship you’re in line for. But your father won’t let you get any of them between the sheets this young, and with good reason. You’d break a hundred hearts, Pippin-lad, and besides, you are just a tweenager still. There’s plenty of time for that.’
‘Not if we die on this Quest,’ Pippin grumbled. Merry looked shocked. ‘Pippin! Don’t say such things!’
‘What about you, Legolas?’ Pippin said, swiftly turning his attention from Boromir. ‘Have you slept with any lady Elves?’
Legolas looked up from his sharpening. There was a hint of a smile in his eyes. He looked infinite, eternal in the firelight, as though his age could be read through the soft translucence of his skin. He did not seem discomfited by Pippin’s query.
‘Well, Pippin, the truth is Elves do not take sexual encounters lightly. We mate for life, and we do not participate in sex besides with our chosen partner. It is highly unusual -- nigh unheard of -- for an Elf to have intercourse outside of his or her partnership. Elves do not cheat, in other words. Also, we do not have intercourse before we mate. Of course, I know the process backward and forwards, and I know of many other things that make innocence doubtful,’ Legolas smiled to show he was teasing, ‘but the truth is, in Shire-land I would be a very old virgin.’
‘I believe this is where I take myself off to bed,’ Boromir said. ‘I can see that the Elf is far more interesting.’ He smiled goodnaturedly and went to his pallet.
‘Really? A virgin?’ Pippin and Merry were both amazed by this news, having known little of the practices of Elves. They barely managed to nod to Boromir before turning their attentions back to Legolas.
‘Really,’ corroborated Aragorn, who may have been feigning sleep after all. ‘It is, as Gimli has informed me, a disgusting rule for a Man to follow, but as a Man raised in Rivendell, I adhere to the practices of Elves. They have had many more Ages to perfect things, as it were, and are quite wise, in their fashion.’ He sat up and faced them. ‘Truly, it is only Arwen that I love, and even if I did not follow that stricture before, I would now, out of deference to her.’
‘Aragorn is right,’ Legolas said. ‘He should not do anything sexually the Elves would disapprove of, or Elrond would not be comfortable giving up his daughter to him.’
‘In truth, Elrond wants little to give up his daughter to me, whether I am in line for the throne of Gondor or no. He sees me as a mortal, with mortal imperfections. He does not see that he raised me in the paradise of the Elves, in their beloved and protected Imladris. He remembers not that all the training I had as a child was Elven in nature. He remembers little of those years, it seems. But I learned well. Elves are strong, patient and wise, and they have given me invaluable insight into how to rule fairly and firmly. This destiny I do not want but cannot seem to avoid, I ought still to do well.’
‘Aragorn, you will be a good king, and kind, and wise. Elrond raised you well. You are a fitting match for Arwen, as Isildur’s heir. The blood of the Numenoréans runs thick in your veins. And she loves you.’ Legolas said.
‘It matters not,’ Aragorn replied. ‘I said good-bye to her in Rivendell and I mean not to return. She is expected to sail West with the rest of her people. I could not keep her here to die.’
‘She will not go,’ Legolas said softly. ‘She loves you too much.’
“I should hope she wouldn’t leave,’ Pippin whispered to Merry. ‘He’d be insufferable without her. Actually, he is already.’
‘I heard that, Master Pippin,’ Aragorn said. ‘But I do not mind for it is very nearly true. It is not easy to live without Arwen’s love and her gentle touch.’
‘How do you do it,’ Pippin directed at Legolas, ‘live without a lass for so long?’
‘We just do,’ Legolas replied. ‘We are surrounded by family and friends, and that is enough until we find someone to mate with. The joining is quite the solemn ceremony, as well, because barring being killed, we will spend our entire long lives with that person. I have not met her yet, the Elf I would like to remain with. It is a difficult and important choice, and I am loathe to make it rashly. So I wait.’
‘Oh,’ said Pippin. He was quiet. Merry wrapped an arm around Pippin’s shoulders.
‘Isn’t that enough, Pip? Let’s give it a rest and go to sleep now, shall we? Look, Frodo is already asleep,’ Merry said, and kissed the side of Pippin’s head. Pippin shook his curls and sighed.
‘Alright, Merry-mine. I’ll let it go.’ He yawned hugely and snuggled into Merry’s arms. ‘Take me to bed,’ he murmured. Merry laughed softly. ‘You know you are far to old for such coddling, but alright, I will,’ he said, and helped Pippin to his feet. They disappeared into the darkness. Legolas exchanged a look with Aragorn.
‘I do not think they quite believed me. Not that they disbelieved I was telling the truth, but I think it was hard for them to accept.’
‘Worry about it not, my friend,’ Aragorn smiled. ‘Hobbits are persistent but wonderful creatures. They will come to accept it. But I will take the first watch, now that I am awake. Take some rest, Legolas.’ Aragorn directed. Legolas smiled into the growing dark at his friend, and the only Man who had ever understood Elves as well as an Elf did. He lay down on the ground and stared up at the stars until they faded, and sleep veiled his eyes.