The Guardian

Rating: G

Summary: Rúmil cares for his brothers after their parents are killed – but who takes care of him?

Author notes: This was originally written as part of my slash fic 'Silent Song' as a prelude of sorts, but it's complete enough to work as a non-slash stand-alone too. I hope you like it!

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The sounds of a crying elfling echoed throughout the trees of Lórien.
Immediately, Rúmil shot out of the talan and down the tree, heading for the source of the noise.

A moment later he was scooping a sobbing Orophin into his arms and trying to soothe the distraught elfling. Rúmil mentally cursed himself - he should have checked on his little brother before now.
But he'd been trying to get Haldir out of his room - no easy task as the eldest of the three remained locked in his grief.

It had been two years since their parents had been killed and their lives had been shattered. But for Rúmil, there had not even been time to grieve. Haldir had fallen into a depression so deep that Rúmil feared he was fading and Orophin was still only a baby. This had left him with the task of holding his family together during this most difficult time.

He had done his best – caring for Haldir and bringing up Orophin as best he could, while still trying to live up to his responsibilities as a Guardian of the Wood. Though he had succeeded thus far, the strain had taken its toll on the young elf. Rúmil was constantly exhausted; he was pale and far skinnier than he should be. But he continued to ignore his own well-being, as he cared for his little family.

"Hush now, don't cry." He whispered, as Orophin clung to him. Rúmil was eternally grateful that Orophin had recently started accepting his comfort, instead of screaming endlessly for his nana. "Shhh,
what's wrong"
"T-the other elflings said I couldn't p-play with them." Orophin sobbed. "They said I was an orphan. What's an orphan"
Rúmil sighed and sat down, perching Orophin on his knee.
"An orphan is an elfling whose Ada and Nana have died." He said gently, not wanting to upset his brother further"
"Oh." Orophin mumbled, realising that he was indeed an orphan. "But I don't WANT to be!" He cried then, breaking out in fresh sobs.
Rúmil held him close, rubbing his back soothingly.
"I know Oro, I know, neither do I. But you still have me and Haldir"
"Haldir's boring." Orophin sniffled.
"Haldir isn't well, you know that." Rúmil chastised his little brother gently. "It's not his fault"
"He's still boring." Orophin muttered and Rúmil had to smile.
"Aye, maybe he is!" He grinned, ruffling Orophin's hair. "But we should get back to him, yes? It is almost time for lunch"
As most children do, Orophin brightened up at the mention of food and took Rúmil's hand as they climbed back up to the talan, leaving his older brother relieved that at least this crises was over.

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Much later that night, after Orophin and Haldir were both in bed,
Rúmil sat alone in the main room. It was getting late, but he was too tense to sleep. It had been a long day, Orophin's tears had drained him and Haldir had been particularly difficult, refusing to go any further than the bathroom and back.

Rúmil was sorely tempted to have a glass of miruvor from the bottle he kept in the cupboard, but he resisted, in fear that he would start to drink as habit. It would be all too easy to simply drown his troubles. No, the miruvor was to be saved until he was in a better mood.
Instead, he rose to make a cup of tea, hoping it would calm his frazzled nerves.

He was just reaching for the herbs, when he heard a gentle knock on the talan door.
Curious as to who would be calling so late, he opened the door, to reveal one of Lord Celeborn's assistants.
The elf bowed politely. "Lord Celeborn requests your presence at once, Captain"
Rúmil sighed – could he get no peace? Still, a summons from Lord Celeborn could not be avoided.
"I cannot leave my brothers alone – will you stay with them until I return?" He asked the elf. The young ellon nodded.
"Lord Celeborn said you would wish that of me. My name is Araondo"
Smiling slightly, Rúmil allowed Araondo into the talan.
"My thanks, Araondo. Haldir will not wake and Orophin is unlikely to – but if he should, tell him where I am and that I will be back soon"
"I will do so, do not worry"
The ellon smiled in understanding and Rúmil left him to it, know that the sooner he saw Celeborn the sooner he could get back.

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At the knock on the door, Celeborn called out for Rúmil to enter,
glad to be having this conversation at last. He had long been worried for Rúmil's welfare.

Rúmil stepped inside the room and bowed. It was rare to be summoned to see the Lord and Rúmil hoped he had not done anything wrong.
"My Lord?" He asked softly.
Celeborn smiled. "Do not worry Rúmil, I only wish to talk. Please,
sit." He indicated a chair and Rúmil sat down, looking intently at his Lord. Celeborn sat down next to him and began to speak.
"Tell me, how have you been, Rúmil?" He asked.
"I am well, my Lord," Rúmil replied, uncertain as to where this was going.
Celeborn raised an eyebrow. "I see. It is not too much for you,
caring for your brothers and still guarding the borders"
"N-no my Lord," The Galadhrim stuttered. Did Celeborn think him incompetent?
The Lord of Lórien put his hand on Rúmil's shoulder.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of if you need help, Rúmil. You have done so much for your brothers, but I am worried about you. When did you last take rest? Real rest, which heals both body and spirit"
"I – I rest, my Lord," Came the answer, though both knew that was an evasive reply.

Realising that this conversation was unlikely to get him anywhere at any time soon, Celeborn decided it was best to get right to the point.
"Some members of your patrol have come to see me about you." He said.
At these words, Rúmil flushed red.
"My Lord, I assure you that I have not neglected my duties!" He protested, almost desperately.
Celeborn sighed. "That is not why they came to me. There is no question of your ability or dedication to duty. But they are worried about you, Rúmil. It is clear to all that you are over-stretching yourself – no one can do as much as you do without being adversely affected. However, it seems you have not been listening to the advice of your friends and so they have come to me. They can not order you to rest – but I can. I am."

"But... my Lord!" Rúmil started to protest, but Celeborn grasped both of his shoulders firmly.
"Rúmil. Your brothers have grieved. Orophin is young and he moves on.
Haldir still needs time, but with love and help, he will return to us. But what of you? In all your care, have you taken time to grieve yourself? Rúmil, have you even cried"
For a long moment there was silence as Rúmil fought an internal battle.
"No." He whispered at last. "I have not cried." He hadn't even dwelled on the loss all that much – focusing all his attention on Haldir and Orophin.
"You are allowed to." Celeborn said gently. "They were your parents as well"
Rúmil trembled slightly and Celeborn knew he was getting through.
Carefully, he pushed a little further.
"Are you not angry at the orcs that stole them from you?"

Celeborn's words were having more of an effect on Rúmil than he cared to admit. All the emotions he'd tucked away were resurfacing and threatening to overwhelm him. He shook, trying to hold back the tide.
"Does it not sadden you that they were on the same patrol?" The Lórien Lord was determined to get Rúmil to admit his feelings – only then could he truly heal.
"Yes." Rúmil's voice was almost inaudible.
"Yes?" Celeborn queried, knowing that the damn was about to burst.

"Yes. Yes I'm angry!" Rúmil's voice rose suddenly and he jumped up. "I wanted to kill every orc I could find! I wanted to get my hands on whoever let them patrol together! Nana should not even have returned to duty so soon after Orophin was born! It should not have happened!"

Celeborn remained quiet as Rúmil released all the pain and anger of the last two years, knowing how much he needed it.
"Everyone thinks I'm so strong, that I can do anything! But I – I can't! I can't be there all the time, I can't raise Orophin while caring for Haldir, I can't patrol when my brothers need me!" He didn't even notice as the first tears began to fall, trickling softly down his face. "I've tried, tried so hard! I want to be there for them, like Ada and Nana would have wanted! But I've failed!"

Rúmil sat back down heavily, burying his face in his hands as he began to cry in earnest. His shoulders shook with his sobs as he finally allowed himself to grieve after two long years.
Now Celeborn moved, pulling the young elf into a comforting embrace.
Throwing dignity to the wind, Rúmil let himself be held by his Lord,
finding in him the comfort his father would once have offered.
"There, that's better." Celeborn murmured as Rúmil continued to cry. "Let it all out"
He smiled slightly as Rúmil's face buried itself in his shoulder, his sobs wracking his slender frame.

At last, Rúmil could cry no more. He stilled, as he slowly became aware of his surroundings again. He took long, deep breaths, as he took in what had just happened. Shame-faced, he looked to Celeborn. "My Lord – I am so sorry! I do not know what came over me!
I…"
With a rising of his hand, Celeborn cut him off.
"Rúmil, do not apologise. You needed to cry, to let go of your pain. I am glad I could help you. How do you feel now"
"Better, my Lord," Rúmil admitted. "Lighter, somehow"
"Good." Celeborn replied. "It will not end here though – your grieving has only just begun. But as you accept these emotions, you will find it easier to cope with them, which will be better for both you and your brothers. You are their strength right now, but you can only continue to be so if you take care of yourself. It will not help them if you fall apart."

Rúmil knew that Celeborn spoke the truth. Already, things seemed clearer, ideas of how to make things easier for them all popping into his mind.
"I know you are right, my Lord." He said. "I – I thank you for what you have done." He blushed, still embarrassed.
"Speak of it no more." Celeborn said. "I know that I will not." His words made Rúmil smile in relief – the young elf was proud and would certainly not want anyone to know that he had cried in his Lord's arms.
"I appreciate it, My Lord." Rúmil smiled softly. "But with your permission, I will return to my brothers now. I have much to think about"
"Of course," Celeborn nodded in approval. "But should you ever feel the need to speak to me, know that my door is always open"
"I will remember." Rúmil promised. I hope you will approve of the changes I plan to make"
The Lord of Lórien smiled. "I am sure you will do an excellent job,
but do not be afraid to ask for help"
At that, Rúmil actually laughed.
"I will not be! I have decided however, that Haldir can help give Orophin his lessons! It will be good for both of them and free me up some time!" The gleam in Rúmil's eyes was much more like the Rúmil that Celeborn remembered and he was pleased.
"That is an excellent idea! Do not let me keep you!"

Bowing deeply, his eyes alight with possibilities, Rúmil bid farewell to his lord and left quickly, keen to implement his newfound plans.
Things would be better now; there was no longer any doubt in his heart, thanks to the compassion of his Lord.

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Exiting the small side room, Galadriel came to stand beside Celeborn and wrap her arms about his waist.
"He will heal now." She said; her voice hushed in the quiet room.
"He simply needed to release his pain." Celeborn told her. "I have seen the like before – I knew what to do. It was little effort to ease his suffering."

Galadriel smiled, gazing lovingly at her husband. "You are a true Guardian of the Wood, my love"
Celeborn looked to the door that Rúmil had recently left by. "They guard the Woods, it is the least I can to do guard them. Is it is my duty, though it is no burden"
"I see." Galadriel replied. But what of your other duties? To your wife, for example"
The Lord grinned and kissed her lightly.
"I will fulfil those too, of course! I see no burden there either"
"Excellent!" She replied and then laughed as he swept her off her feet and carried her away.

All was well again in the Golden Wood.

THE END