<>Third place in the Best Emotional Torture category in the 2006 Mellon Chronicle Awards.

Disclaimers: Neither Elrond nor Celebrian belong to me. I am only borrowing them.

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Elrond sat beside the form of his wife on the bed they had shared for centuries. With a gentle hand, he brushed a cool cloth across her fevered brow. He was careful not to disturb her sleep, for she greatly needed her rest. However, her sleep was not restful. She wandered in a realm of nightmares, of monsters and pain. Though her physical injuries were well on their way to healing, there were injuries to her mind and spirit that Elrond did not know how to heal. Seeing her in such torment drove a spike of pain through his heart. If it were possible for him to take her pain on himself, he would not have hesitated.

A low moan from her caught his attention and he gently took her hand in his, letting her know that he was here, she was not alone in her torment. Her eyes slowly came into focus, and stared into his.

"How do you feel?" Elrond asked, brushing a strand of hair from her face, cursing himself for asking a stupid question even as the words left his mouth.

"Lost," she said simply, her voice a mere wisp of her usual lyrical tones.

Elrond closed his eyes in pain, then forced himself to open them and meet her tortured gaze. "I know," he whispered. "I know."

She brought a hand up to cup his face, and he leaned into the touch. "I do not wish to hurt you, my love, but I will find no peace here. Even in sleep, I return to that cave, and the pain I endured. My love for you and our children sustained me through that torment. I knew I would be rescued and return to you, and that thought enabled me to go on. But I did not realize then how badly they had hurt me. I cannot stay here Meleth-nin. My eyes are no longer capable of seeing the beauty around me. Instead of the beauty of my home, I see shadows and monsters everywhere I look. I will never heal from this as long as I remain in Middle-Earth."

"Iston, (I know)" Elrond whispered. Though he would give anything to keep his wife with him, he had known for some time that he would not be able to heal the injuries to her fëa. Not even the wealth of knowledge he had at his fingertips or the healing abilities he had acquired over the ages were able to help the one he loved most. Only the peace of Valinor could help her now. But how would he be able to continue without her? Knowing the thought was selfish, he did the only thing he could and gave her his blessing to leave.

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As he stood on the shores of the Grey Havens and watched his wife sail away, he felt many things, sadness, grief, pain, and some anger, but the overriding thing he felt was… lost.