A/N - Pearl is 27 and Thain Ferumbras III is 86 (17 and 54 in Man-years).
DISCLAIMER: Other than Crocus and Tongo, the characters all belong to the amazing world of Middle-earth created by the genius of J.R.R. Tolkien. I just borrowed them for a little while.

Thanks to Dreamflower for beta-reading this story.

Besides having to include a hobbity idiom, my required elements were to include a bad fall and a trophy.

THE BELOVED LEADER

The brightly lit room was bursting with Tooks and their relations, which meant that not only were hobbits with the surname of “Took” present, but there were also Bagginses, Brandybucks, Bolgers, Boffins, Bracegirdles, and Burrowses in attendance. After all, it was very important that this matter be kept strictly within the Took family.

Being Tooks or Took connections, the room was so full of chattering hobbits anxiously trying to guess what the Thain would say that they didn’t even hear the round door shut tight when he finally entered the room. It wasn’t until Tongo Hornblower, well, blew his horn, that the crowd even noticed that the Thain now stood before them and was unrolling a huge vellum parchment.

The Thain nodded to Tongo.

“Miss Pearl Took and the maidservant, Crocus Flourdumpling, please rise and come forward,” Tongo announced loudly. While the thoughts of the other assembled hobbits turned toward the smell and taste of a risen flour dumpling at the mention of the maidservant’s name, Pearl and Crocus miserably came forth and awaited their judgment.

The room was so quiet that one could hear a mushroom drop as every pointed ear was cocked forward, straining to hear the Thain’s pronouncement.

“After hearing the testimony of Miss Pearl Took and the maidservant, Crocus Flourdumpling, “ began Thain Ferumbras III, “it is hereby adjudged that the cause of death of the late Took, Lalia the Fa… er, Great, was a bad fall which resulted from an accident.” Everyone’s Tookish green eyes turned to look at the portrait of Lalia hung over the fireplace, except for Frodo Baggins, whose eyes were in fact blue.

“Although the clumsiness of the maidservant, Crocus Flourdumpling, was the proximate cause of the late Took’s wheelchair running over the threshold and being tipped down a flight of steps headlong into a pile of pony fertiliser in the garden,” the Thain continued, “her actions were not done maliciously, capriciously, viciously or with any intent to physically, mentally, or spiritually injure. Moreover, Miss Pearl Took was not present at the time of the late Took’s death and therefore was positively, absolutely, and undeniably not the proximate, immediate, or ultimate cause of death.

“Therefore, Miss Pearl Took and the servant Crocus Flourdumpling are cleared of all wrongdoing. This inquiry is officially and judicially closed.” As Thain Ferumbras III rolled the scroll back up, an enormous cheer rose from the assembled hobbits. All those that had hats threw them high into the air in celebration.

Then the Thain motioned for silence and looked surreptitiously around the room.

“Now that the official pronouncement for the rest of the Shire is out of the way, we Tooks may now continue,” began Ferumbras, with a wide, toothy grin.

“As we Tooks say, ‘A leader’s duty is to cheer those led.’ It was about time that someone found a way to end the reign of Lalia the Fat! I know I speak for all of us when I say that twenty-two years under her memorable but nasty leadership was quite enough!”

The room rang with the enormous cheers of the hobbits as they unfurled large hand-painted banners proclaiming, “Long Live Ferumbras” and “Happy Days Are Here Again” and waved them high in the air. Tongo handed out noisemakers and horns to toot. Some of the younger hobbits struck up a dance.

A large ring was cleared around Everard Took and his cousin, Ferdibrand Took, as they started to dance a spirited springle-ring.

“There they go again!” exclaimed Rorimac Brandybuck. The Master of Buckland shook his head before quickly moving to join them, grabbing Dudo Baggin’s hand along the way. The two Tooks, the Brandybuck, and the Baggins were all laughing uproariously even as they danced the springle-ring.

“Cousin Pearl,” continued Ferumbras after getting most everyone’s attention back, “you have my apologies for not allowing you to attend my accession ceremony and feast. And to you, Crocus, for not allowing you to serve during it, but we had to keep up the semblance of propriety until this matter was officially resolved, no matter how relieved we were by your actions.”

He paused a moment to clear his throat.

“Bless you, Pearl, for coming up with such a simple, yet effective, plan.” Ferumbras smiled fondly at Pearl. “In recognition of your brilliance, I ask that you please accept this pearl necklace that belonged to my mother.” Ferumbras held a magnificent necklace out before him toward his cousin.

Pearl looked around at her parents, both of whom grinned and nodded their approval, before she happily went up to Ferumbras and accepted the lovely luminescent necklace. She fingered it admiringly and beamed as she immediately went to put it over her head, so anxious was she to wear it.

“Er…” began Ferumbras, holding his hand up to stop Pearl, “Although I gave the necklace to you now, I would be appreciated if you did not wear it just yet. Wait a few weeks, let things settle down, let the general hobbitry get back to the really important matters like eating, drinking, smoking, and tilling the soil.”

Pearl nodded understandingly and put the necklace in one of her pockets for safe-keeping.

“Crocus, we have something for you, as well,” Ferumbras continued with a smile. “For you had to do the dirty work and pitch Mum out of her chair and down those steps.” A sudden thought came to Ferumbas which made him chuckle aloud. “While my beloved mother was correct when she said that ‘nobody could push her around,’ apparently she was indeed a pushover due to her … enormous nature. If it weren’t for your actions, I’d still be living in that tiny bachelor-son’s apartment instead of in the grandest quarters in all the Shire. Mayhap now I’ll be able to find a hobbitess willing to live in the Great Smials and become my wife! So here you are, lass, a small token of our gratitude.”

Tongo handed Ferumbras a trophy, which he then presented to Crocus. “This, hobbits and hobbitesses, was one of the wheels from Mum’s wheelchair. It’s a little twisted now, but so much the better. Our thanks to Hamson Gamgee for roping it onto this fine piece of wood to make the trophy.” It was an outlandish trophy, but then, the Tooks were known for their peculiarities.

“On behalf of the entire Took clan, thank you, Crocus, for ending the reign of Lalia Clayhanger Took and allowing me to finally, at age eighty-six, become the head of the Tooks.”

As Crocus proudly accepted her trophy, the hobbits again started to cheer, but this time for the little maidservant. All around her, the happy gentlehobbits were queuing up to shake her hand and extend their own appreciation for her actions. Mr. Paladin Took even presented her with a huge red lollipop with a bright green ribbon tied around the stem. Such a beautiful lollipop could only have been made by the lollipop guild in Hobbiton. Miss Pearl’s sisters, Miss Pimpernel and Miss Pervinca, danced gracefully around her on their toes in pretty pink dresses. And Mayor Whitfoot even gave her a key to Michel Delving!

It was all so confusing. Crocus knew that her mistress had been unpopular, but she had not had any idea that she had been this unpopular, and amongst her own kin even! But here were all these gentlehobbits telling her how nasty Mistress Lalia had been and how her death was good for the Shire. Crocus relaxed as it sank in that she was not going to get into trouble for killing the Took after all.

One thing the Tooks knew how to do was how to celebrate in fashion. The room was turned into one large party as barrels of ale and hard cider suddenly appeared. The tables in the room were soon laden with all sorts of delicacies – there was a roasted pig with a bright red apple still in its mouth, coney pot pie, roasted chickens, fried onions and mushrooms, stuffed mushrooms, mushy peas, sweet honey-glazed carrots, hard-boiled eggs, spiced apples, strawberry jam tarts, seedcakes, shortbread biscuits, and sticky toffee pudding.

While everyone was busy filling up the corners, Ferumbras motioned to Tongo, who opened the door to admit the entertainment. There were jugglers, brightly costumed acrobats, dancing dogs with ruffles around their necks, and even flame eaters. But best of all, thought Crocus, were the musicians. It didn’t take long before the air was filled with the music of frolicking fiddles, lilting lutes, honking horns, daring drums, titillating tambourines, and blaring bagpipes all coming together to join the Tooks in song.

Ding, dong, the Took is dead!
The mean old Took, the wicked Took.
Ding, dong, Lalia the Fat is dead!*

Many of the hobbits were dancing enthusiastically, some even on top of the tables, such as Saradoc Brandybuck. Others were playing a spirited game of darts, with Lalia’s picture serving as the dartboard and a free mug of ale going to any hobbit hitting a bull’s eye.

The celebrations continued long into the night. And when the party broke up, the hobbits there swore that they would stick to the official version of the tragic death of Lalia the Great. After all, who would ever say it was not an accident?

*My apologies to The Wizard of Oz, based on the book by L. Frank Baum, for butchering one of its songs and using some of the gift presentations made by the Munchkins.