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Disclaimers: None of the characters are mine, nor is Middle Earth, or any concepts created by Tolkien. I certainly don't make any money from any of this.
Warning: This is a little different from my previous stories, but, as usual, I took great care to make sure that my stories would fit in well with Tolkien's universe. The one problem I found was the timing of events. After I wrote this, I realized that Aragorn would have been in Rohan and Gondor during the time frame of this story. Due to this fact, I would have to label this story as slightly AU. Please let me know what you think. This story started out as one thing, but ended up as something quite different than I originally thought it would be. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter One
He decided to ask Aragorn again. The worst that would happen was that Aragorn would refuse to tell him, again. And there was always the chance that he would wear Aragorn down so that he would answer simply to keep Legolas from asking him yet again. “So, where do you go on these trips of yours, Aragorn? You’ve been taking them for ten years, and I still know not where you go.” His eyes never left Aragorn as he moved about the room. Aragorn didn’t stop his preparations as he checked the medicine bag that he took on all his trips. “There is a reason that you do not know, Legolas. Please do not ask me again.” Legolas shrugged easily. The direct approach did not seem to be working. Perhaps he should try something else. “I would not be so curious if I thought you actually enjoyed these trips. I would simply assume that you had a favorite place to visit that you did not wish to share with anyone. I can understand if you need time to yourself once in a while. But you do not act as though you truly want to go. And yet, the few times you have been unable to go, you have become positively morose. I do not like what happens to you every year at this time.” Legolas was truly worried about his friend and the reasons behind these trips. “Then it is probably a good thing that you do not accompany me,” Aragorn said calmly. Legolas sighed. Aragorn was either missing the point, or more likely, deliberately ignoring the point. “Aragorn, I have made this offer before, and I will make it again. There is some event in your past that you have not discussed with anyone. That is not healthy. If you need to talk about this, I am willing to listen, as always.” “I thank you for the offer,” Aragorn said. “But I must decline. I may not have discussed this with you, but that does not mean that I have not discussed it with anyone.” Legolas found his reaction to that strangely mixed. He was glad that Aragorn was not keeping everything locked up inside, but he was actually somewhat hurt that Aragorn would turn to someone else, but not to him. He thought their friendship was closer than that. “Well, whoever you are talking with, they are not doing much to help you if you still react this way after ten years.” Legolas regretted the words the moment he spoke them. He knew that they had come about from the hurt he felt that Aragorn would not speak of this with him. At that, Aragorn stopped packing and looked at Legolas with a hint of anger in his eyes. “It is not their place to make me feel better, Legolas. This is not something I can simply put aside, no matter how many years pass. This trip is about facing my mistakes, and that is all I will say on the matter. This does not concern you, Legolas, and I would prefer you to stay out of it.” Legolas narrowed his eyes at Aragorn. “I apologize for my thoughtless words, but this does not sound like you, mellon-nin.” Aragorn sighed as his anger leached away. “Perhaps you do not know me as well as you believe.” Aragorn placed the last item in his bags, and then gathered them up. His horse was saddled and ready. It was time to leave. He walked out of his room and Legolas kept pace beside him. They walked to the stables in silence. Aragorn secured his bags to the saddle and turned to face Legolas. “I am sorry for my harsh words, Legolas. I must leave now. Will you stay here until I return?” Legolas nodded. “I will be here as long as Father does not call me home. I wish you would let me share this burden of yours, my friend. Maybe then it would not seem so heavy.” Legolas stroked the mane of Aragorn's horse and gazed at his friend across the horse's back. Aragorn shook his head. “This burden is mine and mine alone, Legolas. No one else can carry it. But do not look so worried. These trips are not without their redeeming qualities.” He mounted his horse and nodded to Legolas. “Namárië, mellon-nin.” Legolas nodded in return. “Namárië, Aragorn. Fare well, my friend.” He stood watching as Aragorn rode out of the stable yard and out of sight. He walked slowly back to his room, thinking over the conversation. That was the most he had ever heard from Aragorn about the purpose of these trips. What he had just heard, though, he didn’t like. It sounded like Aragorn was in trouble. Aragorn was usually far too stubborn to ask for help when he needed it. “Pigheaded Dúnadan,” he muttered as he reached his room. He quickly threw together a traveling pack, then went to find Lord Elrond. He notified Elrond that something unexpected had arisen and he would have to leave immediately. Elrond accepted his explanations and apologies easily. He went to the balcony and watched as Legolas retrieved his horse and left Imladris on the same path that Aragorn had used. Elrond smiled knowingly. “I expected you to do this years ago, Legolas,” he murmured to himself. “You showed far more patience than I would have thought you capable of.”
Chapter Two Legolas followed Aragorn for three days. He was careful to stay far enough behind him so that Aragorn never knew he was there. If Aragorn had wanted to cover his tracks, Legolas would never have been able to follow him so easily. But luckily, Aragorn’s mind wasn’t on making sure he couldn’t be followed. Toward the end of the third day, Legolas followed Aragorn to a small village. Legolas stopped his horse and watched as Aragorn approached a house near the edge of the woods. As Aragorn dismounted, a young man of about ten years of age came running from around the side of the house. “Aragorn!” Legolas’ acute hearing easily picked up the shout as the boy threw himself at Aragorn. Legolas watched as Aragorn caught the boy, then set him back down and teasingly ruffled his hair. Legolas was far enough away that only keen Elven sight would have been able to make out any details of the boy’s appearance. Legolas drew in a sharp breath as he noticed a marked resemblance to Aragorn. The boy’s eyes were brown, not grey like Aragorn’s, but his coloring and the mop of unruly hair almost convinced him that he was looking at a younger Aragorn. Legolas looked up as a woman with long brown hair and brown eyes that matched the boy’s walked out of the house. Aragorn smiled at the woman as she walked toward him and the boy. She draped her arm around the boy’s shoulders, and leaned in to accept the quick kiss that Aragorn bestowed upon her cheek. Aragorn spoke quietly to her and she nodded her head in response to whatever he had said. She left the two of them and went back into the house while Aragorn and the boy took care of his horse. Aragorn removed the saddle and brushed down the horse, all the while carrying on a lively conversation with the boy. Once the horse was taken care of, Aragorn picked up his travel bags and he and the boy went into the house. Legolas turned his horse back into the woods to make camp for the night. His mind was whirling with the implications of what he had just seen. All the while he was preparing for the night, one thought tumbled through his mind. Aragorn had a son. Aragorn had a son that he hadn’t told Legolas about. The thought hurt Legolas more than he would have thought possible. Legolas heard the words that Aragorn had said to him before embarking on this trip. ‘Perhaps you do not know me as well as you believe.’ Legolas slowly shook his head in disbelief. If Aragorn had truly kept the existence of a son a secret for ten years, then he had never really known the man. The Aragorn that he knew would never hide a son from his friends. He might hide him away to keep him from his enemies, but he would have told Legolas and the twins. He would not have been able to keep such a thing a secret. Legolas pondered the puzzle he had stumbled across. More of his earlier conversation filtered into his mind. ‘This trip is about facing my mistakes.’ Would Aragorn truly ever be able to consider a son a mistake? Legolas thought about what he had seen today. Aragorn seemed to get along well with the boy. He felt sure that Aragorn would never consider a child of his to be a mistake. Perhaps he had had a falling out with the boy’s mother and losing the two of them was the mistake that Aragorn had referred to. But that didn’t seem right, either. The woman had seemed pleased to see Aragorn. Legolas saw no sign of anger between them. What else could he have been referring to? He had mentioned a mistake and a burden that only he could carry. Maybe it had to do with Arwen? Legolas knew that Aragorn loved Arwen and no other woman. Maybe in a moment of weakness he had gotten involved with a woman he didn’t love, and the boy was the result. It did not happen often among elves, but Legolas knew that men were more prone to act on passing emotions. And ten years ago, Aragorn would not yet have been thirty. He had been rather impulsive at that age. Legolas thought that it might not be unreasonable to assume that Aragorn might have been involved with another woman if he had despaired that he and Arwen would never be able to wed. At that point in time, Arwen would barely acknowledge her feelings for Aragorn. She had been trying to save them both from repeating the tale of Beren and Lúthien. If Aragorn now felt that his association with this woman was a mistake, he might not have told Legolas and the twins in an attempt to keep Arwen from finding out. That reasoning made so much sense that Legolas found himself nodding as he saw the puzzle pieces falling into place. It would fit the conversation that he had had with Aragorn earlier, and also Aragorn’s moodiness when he was unable to travel here at his usual time. But then Legolas shook his head in disgust that he would even think that of Aragorn. The Aragorn that he knew would not hide a child away in shame simply because he had gotten involved with the wrong woman. Aragorn was such an open, loving person that he would never be able to live with only seeing his child once a year. Then Legolas heard Aragorn’s voice once again. ‘Perhaps you do not know me as well as you believe.’ He began to doubt his surety that he knew what Aragorn was or was not capable of, and the cycle started all over again in his mind. Throughout the long watches of the night, his thoughts ran in circles, and he was unable to seek the solace of sleep.
Chapter Three When the sun tinged the eastern sky with hues of red, orange and pink, Legolas gave up on the idea of sleeping and got up to start his day. The only conclusion that he had reached in the course of the night was that he had to speak with Aragorn before he could reach a conclusion. He let his horse wander free as he made his way quietly back to the edge of the woods. He found a perch in a tree, out of sight of anyone walking by, but in a perfect place to watch the house. He wanted to talk to Aragorn, but he did not think it would be a good idea to walk up and knock on the door. It was not long before the door opened and Aragorn walked out of the house, followed by the woman and the boy. The joviality of the previous day was noticeably absent. All three of them were serious, somber. They began walking through the village. The village was small enough that Legolas was able to stay in the woods and easily follow Aragorn to a small cemetery on the other side of the village. Legolas frowned as he saw them stop in front of a grave. The woman knelt near the stone and placed the flowers she held at the head of the grave. She touched her fingers to her lips, then placed them against the stone marker. Aragorn stood with his arm around the boy’s shoulders, and they watched the woman in silence. She slowly straightened up and went to join Aragorn and the boy. She pulled the boy into her arms, and Aragorn stood beside them, a hand on each of their shoulders. They stood together for a time before Aragorn said something to them too quietly for Legolas to hear. The woman nodded and moved away from Aragorn. She draped her arm over her son’s shoulders and they walked away, leaving Aragorn alone at the grave. Aragorn approached the head of the grave and knelt, much as the woman had. He reached out and rested his hand against the stone. Legolas moved forward to stand behind Aragorn. He was close enough to hear Aragorn’s grief-stricken whisper. “Forgive me, my friend. This is not how things were supposed to be. I’m sorry.” Things were beginning to clear up in Legolas’ mind. But there was still the nagging question of why the boy looked so much like Aragorn. Legolas looked up as Aragorn stood and turned to face him. There was no surprise on Aragorn’s face as he gazed at Legolas. In fact, Legolas wasn’t quite sure what Aragorn was thinking at all. His expression revealed very little. Aragorn stepped aside and gestured for Legolas to follow him. Legolas glanced at the name on the stone as he walked past. Bregor. Legolas knew the name from the history books. Bregor was the father of Barahir and Bregolas. He had fallen with the sons of Finarfin, Angrod and Aegnor, in the Dagor Bragollach, the Battle of Sudden Flame. While Legolas was sure the person lying in that grave was not the Bregor from the history books, the name meant nothing more to him. Legolas followed Aragorn through the woods in silence. When Aragorn was ready to talk, he would talk. Aragorn led him to a pond in a small clearing. A stream fed into one end and out the other. The water moved slowly through the deeper part, but the water was clear enough to see to the very depths. Aragorn sat upon a rock near the water’s edge and gazed into those crystal depths. Legolas leaned against a tree and waited for Aragorn to speak. Chapter Four “This was his favorite place,” Aragorn started softly. “We spent many a summer’s day here. Bregor had planned to teach his children to swim in this very place. Only he was never given the chance.” “What happened?” Legolas asked softly. “He died for my arrogance,” Aragorn answered, still looking into the water, avoiding Legolas’ gaze. Legolas had almost been expecting something like that after hearing Aragorn’s words at the graveside. He had recognized the guilt in Aragorn’s voice. Legolas moved away from the tree and took a seat on the ground near Aragorn. He wanted to be able to see Aragorn’s face. Aragorn glanced briefly at Legolas, then fixed his gaze on the water again. “We met many years ago,” Aragorn said. “I was nearly seventeen when my brothers took me to ride with the Dúnedain for the first time. I was excited, but scared all at once. I had not at that time known who my father truly was, nor even my true name, but Ada had told me enough that I knew my father had been a leader among the Dúnedain. The men that I would soon be meeting had known my father. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask them, but I did not wish to seem as a curious child. The first man I was introduced to was Halbarad. At the time, I found him to be rather stern and intimidating. After Halbarad, I was introduced to many others, all who seemed to be very stern men. I remember wondering if any of them ever smiled. My childhood had been filled with smiles and laughter. Growing up with the twins as my older brothers, it could not have been any other way.” Legolas smiled at that. As long as you were not on the receiving end of one of their pranks, laughter was inevitable around the twins. “I wondered if I would have to stop laughing and playing pranks on the twins in order to become one of the Dúnedain,” Aragorn admitted. Legolas was surprised that Aragorn had ever felt that way about the men that he now commanded. He knew the Dúnedain could seem stern and unyielding to outsiders, but they had a wicked sense of humor, and Aragorn was now one of them, often even called ‘the Dúnadan’ in Imladris. Aragorn smiled as he delved into his memories. “Just as I was beginning to feel very out of place, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and found myself facing a young man about my age. I stared for a moment because he looked enough like me to be my brother. We had the same dark hair and grey eyes. He laughed and told me not to worry, that the men were not nearly so harsh as they seemed. His father was one of them, so he knew the men quite well. He told me that his name was Bregor, and that this was the first time he had been allowed to ride out as well. We were fast friends from that moment on. He was quite fascinated with the twins, so in exchange for his stories about the men, I told him about the twins. I made the mistake of telling him about a certain prank the twins pulled on Glorfindel. Bregor didn’t believe it could be done, so I had to prove it to him.” “Oh, no,” Legolas said, grinning. He could see where this story was going. “Oh, yes,” Aragorn said. “With Bregor’s help, we soon had Elladan dangling in a tree by his foot. Needless to say, he was none too happy about it. Bregor and I became the victims of a series of pranks that made even the stern Dúnedain nearly fall of their horses laughing. We were determined not to let them get away with it, so we pulled more pranks on them.” Legolas started laughing. “I can see it now. Two young Aragorns paying the twins back for every prank they ever played.” “We tried,” Aragorn said, smiling. “Though we did not have their extensive experience, we had great imaginations.” Aragorn sighed. “Whenever we were together, we were inseparable. He was my friend as you are my friend, Legolas. He was at my side no matter what happened. Nothing could change our friendship, not even finding out my true name and lineage. The first time I saw him after Elrond had told me who I was, I did not even have to say a word. He saw the ring of Barahir on my finger and knew what it meant. Being named after Barahir’s father, he had felt an affinity with Barahir and studied his life in detail. Bregor knew the ring was given to Barahir by King Felagund in return for saving his life and as a gesture of their friendship. He knew what the ring looked like, and that it was passed down, father to son, to all of Isildur’s direct descendants.” “What did he do?” Legolas asked curiously. By the time he had met Aragorn, Aragorn had known full well his true name and lineage. Legolas had never known the young man who thought himself no more than Estel, the adopted human son of the Lord of Imladris. Aragorn laughed softly. “He knelt before me and pledged his fealty to me for the remainder of our lives. I was afraid that our friendship had changed forever. But the next morning, as I finished bathing in the stream, I discovered half my clothes missing! I had to walk back through the camp wearing very little in order to retrieve the rest of my clothing.” “Not very dignified for a man who had just discovered that he was royalty,” Legolas laughed. “Maybe not, but I knew at that point that our friendship would never change." Aragorn stopped as the smile slipped from his face. He sighed before continuing. "We had it all planned out, Legolas. Bregor, like most of the Dúnedain, was a direct descendant of the people who escaped the Drowning of Númenor with Elendil and his sons. He saw me as the one true king, no matter what the Stewards of Gondor claimed. He planned to follow me to Gondor when I claimed my throne. There was no doubt in his mind, nor in mine at that time, that I would one day take the throne. It was only a matter of time. When he fell in love with Aerin, only one thing changed in his plans. He would bring Aerin and any children they may have to Gondor with him. He took his vow to me very seriously. I stood with him as he and Aerin were wed. I grew very fond of Aerin as well. Whenever I visited, the three of us would laugh long into the night. I still remember the pride and joy on his face when he told me that Aerin was with child.” Aragorn stopped suddenly and leaned forward, resting his face in his hands. Legolas had a feeling he was coming to the end of the tale. “We were tracking a band of raiders that was terrorizing the villages to the north,” Aragorn said slowly. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it off of his face. “We knew which road they traveled most frequently, so Halbarad planned an ambush. He was still training me to one day take command, but I was not yet ready. He gave each of us a place to lay in wait. It was a long time before anyone came, but that did not bother me. I had learned patience on hunting trips with you and my brothers.” Legolas started abruptly. He had forgotten that part of this story must have happened in the time that he had known Aragorn. Aragorn didn’t notice Legolas’ reaction, lost as he was in the past. “Eventually, we spotted movement along the side of the road. The raiders had sent scouts ahead. One of the scouts was heading directly for the hiding place of one of our men. I thought I was the only one in a position to see that Gundor was in danger. I left my position and crept up behind the scout. I was so intent on my prey, that I did not notice the other scout drawing his arrow on my back. The first hint I had that I was in danger was when a body hit me, knocking me to the ground. I quickly rolled over and drew my knife to defend myself, when I noticed that it was Bregor lying across my body. His eyes were staring into the distance, and there was an arrow through his heart. I will never forget how he looked at that moment. His face haunts my dreams still. One of my closest friends had died from an arrow meant for me. He gave his life to save mine, Legolas! I would like to say that I struck down the man who killed him, but I can’t. All I could do was sit on the ground and hold the body of a man who had been as dear to me as a brother. Halbarad and the other Rangers broke cover to capture the two scouts and keep them from putting the next arrow in my back, as they had tried once to do. As a result, the ambush was not possible. The rest of the raiders came into view before any of us could take cover. What should have been a quick, clean strike turned into a bloody battle with men on both sides losing their lives. I joined in the battle, and according to Halbarad, fought like a man possessed, though I do not remember it. The next clear memory I have is waking up in my room in Imladris with Ada and the twins hovering over me.”
Chapter Five Legolas shook his head in mute horror at the tale Aragorn told. Now things made much more sense. So many times Aragorn had berated Legolas for putting himself in danger to help Aragorn. Legolas had often thought that he was overreacting. But each time, Aragorn must have been reliving that one moment in time. Legolas could only imagine the torment that Aragorn had gone through. He knew how devastated he would be if he lost Aragorn like that. And to know that a friend had died to save his life. . . Legolas now understood the guilt that he had heard in Aragorn’s voice. He took a deep breath to steady himself. Now that Aragorn had gone this far, he had to finish the tale, for his own sake. “I remember that time,” Legolas said softly. “I was at home when I received the message that you had been wounded in battle and were recovering in Imladris. I had duties to fulfill that kept me home longer than I would have liked, but I left as soon as I was able. By the time I got there, you had already left. I spoke at length with Elrond and the twins, but there was little they could tell me. Halbarad had only told them that a battle had gone badly, and you had taken numerous injuries. Elrond was able to heal your physical injuries, but he knew there were injuries that had nothing to do with the body. Those, you would not let him touch. Elladan and Elrohir were also worried for you. They said you barely spoke while you were there. Then, when you were barely healed enough to stand on your own, you packed your bags and left. All you would tell them was that you had something you had to take care of.” Legolas let the statement hang in the air, hoping that Aragorn would continue the story. Aragorn nodded. “Aerin. She had been heavy with child when we left. By the time I made it back to the village, the child had been born. She named him Eriol, one who dreams alone. He looked so much like Bregor. He has his coloring, and Aerin’s eyes. I had to go to her and tell her how Bregor had died. I wanted to take care of them, as Bregor would no longer be able to. She refused to leave her home and come back to Imladris. I had expected as much, but she would not allow me to stay in the village and watch over them, either. She is a strong woman, and trusted that her neighbors would help her if she needed it. She knew who I was, and would not allow me to ‘bind my fate to hers’, as she put it. She told me that Bregor had died a noble death, saving the life of his friend and king. I asked that I be allowed to return once a year, if not more, to visit with her and the child, and to remember Bregor. She agreed to allow me that.” Legolas could still hear the guilt and self-deprecation in Aragorn’s voice. “She was right, Aragorn. Bregor chose to give his life for yours. You diminish his sacrifice by refusing to acknowledge his choice. You cannot continue to feel that his death was your fault. You did not shoot the arrow that killed him.” “No, but I precipitated events by leaving my assigned post. If I had stayed still as ordered, Bregor would not have had to save my life. My arrogance and belief that I was the only one who could save Gundor led directly to Bregor’s death.” Aragorn stared at the still water before him as if he were watching the events he spoke of flashing across the surface. Legolas shook his head in exasperation. Aragorn had always clung far too tightly to his guilt. He felt guilty over many things that he had no control over. He even felt guilty for the actions of Isildur, a man who had died centuries before Aragorn’s birth. “Aragorn, look at me,” Legolas demanded firmly. Aragorn looked up at Legolas in surprise. Legolas held his gaze. “If you had held your position, Gundor may have been killed.” “It was not a surety,” Aragorn protested. “No, but the man I know could not have stood by and let a friend die if there was something he could do to prevent it. You claim it was your arrogance which prompted you to leave your position. I claim it was your compassion. I would not want you to lose that part of yourself, Aragorn. Your greatest strength is that you care. It is that quality that will make you a great king. You have carried a burden for ten years that was never yours to carry. You must lay it down before you are crushed under its weight.” Aragorn looked at Legolas with his pain visible in his eyes. “That is not such an easy thing to do, my friend.” “I will help you, mellon-nin.” Legolas rose to his knees and wrapped a hand around the back of Aragorn’s neck. He pulled Aragorn forward gently until Aragorn’s forehead rested against his own. It was a gesture of comfort between them that was used whenever one of them was in the grip of a pain too strong to handle alone. Aragorn breathed in slowly as long held tears coursed down his cheeks. Legolas kept a firm grip on Aragorn, assuring the man that he would not let him fall. After a while, Aragorn’s tears ceased and he pulled away from Legolas, sitting upright again. Aragorn looked at Legolas. “Thank you. I am glad you decided to follow me, even though I specifically told you I had to do this alone.” There was a small glint in Aragorn's eyes as he gently remonstrated Legolas for not heeding his wishes. Legolas ignored the mild complaint and nodded at him. “I only wish I had done so years ago. I knew that battle had changed you, but I did not understand how deeply the wound went.” Aragorn sighed. “How could I not be wounded by the death of a brother?” He waved his hand between them, keeping Legolas from answering. “I want you to make me a promise, Legolas.” Legolas shook his head quickly. “No, Aragorn. I know what you mean to ask, and that is not a promise I can make. In Bregor’s place, I would make the same choice. As your friend, I could make no other choice. And Bregor understood, as I do, how important you are to the future of Middle Earth. Do not ask for a promise I cannot give.” Aragorn lowered his head and nodded. He would not argue, but he would do his best to make sure that Legolas never had the chance to make the same choice that Bregor had. Aragorn glanced up at the position of the sun. While they had been talking, the sun had risen high in the sky. Aragorn stood up. “We should be getting back to the house. Aerin and Eriol will think I’ve somehow gotten lost between the cemetery and the house.” Legolas chuckled at the thought of Aragorn getting lost in the small village. “ We should be getting back to the house?” “You followed me all the way here. You don’t think I would send you away so soon? Aerin and Eriol have heard many tales of our adventures, some of the tamer ones, at least. They have wanted to meet you, and Eriol has been determined to meet an elf for a long time now. If you would care to stay for a few days longer, until I had planned to leave, you are more than welcome to share the floor in front of the fireplace. Aerin will insist on it, actually.” “Then I would hate to disappoint them,” Legolas answered easily. He was relieved that Aragorn did not send him away. He wanted to keep watch over Aragorn as he faced down the demons that had haunted him for ten years. He followed as Aragorn led the way through the woods to the house. Legolas noted that Aragorn’s step seemed to be a touch lighter than before. His wounds were not yet healed, and would probably never fully heal, but he had made a start today. The End
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