A/N: To my dear and beloved readers: Please forgive me for the extensive wait I have put you all through. I know this is not long, and is sort of impromtu, but I figured I should give you all a sorry gift as well as a birthday mathom. I should have thought this one out better, especially since it's sweet sixteen. A big birthday deserves a big gift. Maybe I'll write a really big one later. Until then, this will have to suffice. So without further ado, I give you, "Birthday Sorrows"

*~*~*~*~*

I am sitting at the head of the table, studying each of my friends' faces, makign a memory. This may be one of the last times I ever see them.

Fatty Bolger, what a Hobbit. He's always been so jovial. Rather shy, of course, but always a good friend. He made it a point to visit me when Bilbo left. He was one of the first lads I made friends with when I moved to Bag End. He didn't treat me like a Bucklander or "foreigner" like most of the other lads did; instead, he treated me like a fellow Hobbit. I'm going to miss him.

And then there's Folco Boffin. He also treated me like a Hobbit. He was one of my dearest friends. Folco helped me make other friends. He understood why I was uncomforatble around water, and helped me get over my fear. We got each ofther in and out of mischeif. I wish I didn't have to leave him.

And then there's Merry. My heart nearly stops when I think about leaving him. Again. He's been my little brother. I have so many memories of him, and they all flood me at this moment. I can see him as a little lad, hand in mine, enchanted as together we explored the woods and fields. He was so curious and would ask me so many questions. He trusted me, and loved me like a big brother. I tried hard to fullfill that role. Then I walked out on him to live with Bilbo. There is still a part of me that regrets leaving him. But it was for the best, and he forgave me when he understood. And now I'm doing it agian. Though this time, he thinks I'm moving back near him. I dread what he'll do when he finds out my true intentions.

And poor Pippin! How I love the little rascal! He's not exactly like a brother like Merry, but we do have our own special relationship. If anything should ever happen to Pip... I wouldn't leave him if I didn't know that Merry will take very good care of him. In fact, Merry may be able to take better care of him than I could. Those two are nearly inseperable. Maybe having each other will make my leaving a little bit easier. I can only hope that they won't try and follow me.

Sam, my gardener, but so much more. He's a different kind of friend. I think he's closer than even a brother. He knows exactly what I need and want, sometimes even before I do. He's always had this need to look after me, ever since we first met when he was nine. That was so long ago, yet I remember it like it happened yesterday. And he's so loyal. Leaving his home to go with me on my dark journey. He knows I'm leaving, but it still amazes me that he'll go with me. I hate myself for making him leave. He has so much here. How can I do this?

I grapple for a moment with a thought of staying, hiding the Ring, saving myself all this pain....but my reason quickly triumphs. Of course I can't stay. The reason I have to leave is to protect those I love so much. These sitting at the table with me, and all of the Shire as well. Yes, I know what I must do. It is nearly killing me. But I'd rather die and suffer to keep these that I love safe and free from as much pain as possible. I toast to Bilbo, but in my mind I also toast the Shire, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Fatty, Folco, and everything I've ever held dear. Farewell, my heart! For I am leaving my heart in the Shire. This is where I belong. I am leaving to do my best to defend it. Someday, somehow, I may return. Until then...farewell.

Copyright  2006 Frodo Baggins