These Hobbits all belong to J.R.R.Tolkien. I have just borrowed them for this story. None of them were harmed in any way and I've put them back now.

Pippin is two, Merry is ten, Sam is twelve, and Frodo is twenty-four.
Happy Birthday, Slightlytookish! Sorry this is a bit late. ~~~ GW

“Marbles”

Frodo sighed, looking worriedly at the small child in his arms. “Why is it that every single time someone leaves you in my care you frighten the life out of me and drive me to the very edge of my sanity?” He looked intently at the bright green eyes and frowned as he studied the little upturned face for any signs of distress. “Why couldn’t you have waited until Bilbo or your Auntie Esme or your parents or even your Uncle Doc had you before doing this?”

“Unc Da!” the small child grinned brightly.

“If you don’t soon learn to speak properly I may go out of my mind, Peregrin Took,” Frodo sighed. “I am never completely certain if you understand me or if you are even paying attention.” The child placed two fingers into his bow-shaped mouth and began to suck on them ignoring Frodo’s worried tone. “I know what Merry says about you but I do think he only says that sort of thing because he is trying to appear clever. Merry says that he can tell exactly what you’re saying and precisely what you want at all times. I think Merry is making that up.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” the tiny lad said in a sing-song way and then popped the two fingers back into his mouth and looked at Frodo as if studying him for some signs of intelligence.

“Well, if Merry can make out what you mean then I wish he would come back and explain it all to me,” Frodo sighed. “Why do you do this to me, Pippin?” Frodo tapped the child on the tip of his pointed nose. “Why can’t you just be a good little lad and behave for me when I am left in charge of you? Why must you worry me so?”

“Eat?” the little one asked pointing to his mouth and smacking his lips together.

“I think you’ve eaten quite enough for one afternoon,” Frodo frowned. “Besides, I don’t know if you should eat anything else just now. I don’t know what might become of the items that you ate earlier if I allow you to eat again.” Frodo rubbed the small child’s stomach with one hand while holding on to the little one with the other and supporting him against his hip. “Little lads are not supposed to eat marbles.”

Pippin looked at him and blinked. “Eat?” He shook a tiny foot and the little bells on his trousers jingled. “Eat!”

“I should call the healer, shouldn’t I?” Frodo said nervously. “I should just give up now and call the healer and be done with it all. I should confess that while you were in my care you decided to make a snack of some of Merry’s marbles and that while I am certain that you’ve eaten at least three of them, I have no idea how many you’ve actually eaten.” Frodo groaned.

Pippin raised one hand and patted Frodo on the cheek. He then murmured a string of nonsense words as if comforting his older cousin.

“Your parents aren’t going to allow me to look after you any more when they discover that I’ve allowed you to consume marbles,” Frodo said as the face-patting continued. “It will be determined that I shouldn’t be permitted to mind anyone’s child at all. The only one likely to enjoy this at all is Merry and once he finds out that you’ve eaten his marbles he is not going to be pleased either. Those were Merry’s, you know.”

Pippin nodded looking so serious that Frodo almost laughed. He would have if he weren’t so very concerned over what might happen to the small child. A long string of nonsense flowed from Pippin’s mouth at that point ending with the word, ‘no.’

“Whatever you just said, I don’t think it is going to appease Merry Brandybuck in the slightest,” Frodo said. He patted the little one’s stomach again and then lifted his curls to feel his forehead for a fever. He wasn’t certain if eating marbles could give the child a fever but he couldn’t think of anything else to do. As he paced up and down with the child in his arms, he heard the back door slam and then the sound of running feet.

“Sam and me are going to get some biscuits,” Merry announced as he entered the parlor with the young Gamgee lad at his heels. “Mr. Gamgee says that Sam can have a snack with me so I’m getting us biscuits, Frodo.”

“Eat?” Pippin asked squirming and setting the tiny bells to jingling again as he reached around Frodo in the direction of Merry.

“You should put the baby down,” Merry said looking disapprovingly at Frodo. “If you spoil him too much then no one will be able to stand him.”

“My Gaffer says if you hold ‘em all the time they fuss when you sit ‘em down,” Sam nodded agreeing with Merry. “Sometimes he just lets one ‘o the little ones cry until you think your ears might pop but he says it’s the only way.”

“I don’t dare put this one down,” Frodo objected. “If I put him down then he gets into everything we own.” Frodo frowned at the baby.

“Well, Sam and me are having biscuits,” Merry shrugged and he turned to leave the room.

“Merry, wait,” Frodo said quickly.

Merry and Sam stopped and both of the lads turned to face Frodo.

“Merry, do you know if Pippin is in the habit of eating anything unusual?” Frodo asked nervously.

“He eats anything you give him,” Merry said. “He has lots of teeth now and he bites so don’t put your fingers in his mouth or he’ll bite you.”

“I know he has teeth,” Frodo sighed. “I’m asking you if he ever eats anything that might not be considered food.”

Merry wrinkled up his nose and frowned. “Like what?”

“Well, let’s say that Pippin ate something like a marble or two,” Frodo said. “Would that be unusual at all?”

Merry’s face went red and he stalked over toward Frodo and looked up at him. “Did you let that baby eat my marbles?”

“I didn’t allow it!” Frodo objected. “He had them before I could get my hands on him.”

“Which ones?” Merry demanded. “If he ate my shooter then I’m going to kill him!”

Pippin kicked a foot in Merry’s direction and grinned down at him. “Blah!” he said.

“You don’t think I will, but I’ll get you alone and then we’ll see,” Merry said darkly.

“Merry, could you look at your collection of marbles and tell me how many he might have eaten?” Frodo asked worriedly.

“He shouldn’t have eaten any of them,” Merry growled. “Why weren’t you watching him?”

“I was watching him!” Frodo objected.

“You were watching him eat my marbles!” Merry shouted.

“He don’t look sick or nothin’, Mr. Frodo,” Sam offered reaching up and taking the child out of Frodo’s arms. At the sound of the tiny bells jingling, Sam frowned. “That don’t sound like marbles but he does make a noise if you shake him.”

“Those are the bells that are sewn into his trousers,” Frodo said watching Merry as his younger cousin went over and began to search through the remaining marbles that were scattered on the floor in front of the bookshelves. “Merry’s mother came up with the idea. She sewed little bells into Pippin’s trousers so we would be able to keep up with him better. He crawls.”

Sam grinned and jiggled the tiny child in order to hear the bells. “Well, don’t that beat all?” He looked at the baby in his arms and said, “You don’t look like them marbles done you no harm.”

“Seven!” Merry yelled out. “That evil, wicked, baby has eaten seven of my marbles! He didn’t get my shooter but he ate two of my cat’s eyes and one of my favorite blue ones!”

“Seven?” Sam looked at the child as if he were very impressed.

“Thunder, seven of them?” Frodo groaned. “Eating seven marbles might kill a baby.”

“Not that one!” Merry shouted. “That baby is too wicked to die!”

“Hush, Merry,” Frodo scolded. “I have to figure out what to do now.”

“Turn him upside down and shake him until my marbles fall out of him, Sam,” Merry instructed.

Sam considered this. “I don’t think that will work.”

“Well, we can try,” Merry said hurrying over to Sam and taking Pippin out of his arms. Merry quickly turned the child upside down and held him by his ankles and began to shake him. The tiny bells jingled and Pippin began to make a noise as if he were humming.

“Give me that child, Meriadoc!” Frodo shouted and pulled Pippin away from Merry and clutched him tightly in his arms. “Are you out of your mind?” He glared at Merry.

Pippin began to sob and reach for Merry. “Mer, Mer, Mer-eeeeeeee!” Pippin cried, his tiny hands grabbing at the air.

Frodo looked at the child in amazement. “He was holding you upside down and shaking you like a rattle!” Frodo objected loudly. This made Pippin wail all the more.

“I think he liked it,” Sam observed. “Don’t never know what babies’ll like, do you, Mr. Frodo? Don’t that beat all?”

“Make him stop that,” Merry said covering his ears.

“Maybe he’ll get riled up and cough up your marbles,” Sam offered watching the baby intently.

Merry uncovered his ears and looked interested. “Make him yell louder, Frodo. I think Sam’s on to something here.”

“My Gaffer says that one time Daisy yelled so long and loud that she spit up her whole dinner all over Daddy Twofoot,” Sam said.

“Maybe Pippin will spit up my marbles!” Merry brightened.

“Might be some other stuff what comes up with them marbles,” Sam frowned.

Merry wrinkled his nose. “Babies are messy. I don’t know why anyone has them. They’re too much trouble. They’re too noisy and they don’t do anything interesting at all.”

“I think eatin’ seven marbles is interestin’,” Sam observed. “I don’t know no one else that has.”

Merry looked at Pippin and said, “Well, sometimes he does something interesting but most of the time he’s just annoying.”

Frodo was walking back and forth with the child trying to calm him but Pippin just continued to scream and reach for Merry. Exasperate, Frodo shoved the child into Merry’s arms. “Do something with him but do not hold him upside down and shake him!”

Merry glared at Pippin who was now grinning as if he’d never shed a tear in his life. Pippin laughed and then leaned over as if trying to turn himself upside down in Merry’s arms. “He wants me to shake him like that again,” Merry smiled. “He likes it. I don’t think you know anything at all about babies, Frodo.”

“I know that they should not be held upside down and that they should not be allowed to eat marbles,” Frodo snapped more sharply than he meant to.

“You let him eat the marbles!” Merry objected.

“I did not hold him upside down!” Frodo shouted back.

Looking bored with both older cousins, Pippin dug one little hand into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a bright, blue marble. He held it next to his nose nearly crossing his eyes as he inspected it and then shoved it into his mouth. Stunned, Merry grabbed the child’s chin and tried to pry his mouth open. “Give that back! Give me my marble right this instant or I will reach down your throat and pull it out myself!”

Pippin narrowed his eyes and glared at Merry and then spit the marble into his face, hitting Merry in the nose with it. “Ouch!” Merry howled.

“Check his pocket for more of them!” Frodo shouted. “Maybe he didn’t really eat any of them.”

Sam bent down and retrieved the blue marble and smiled. “Don’t look like it’s hurt. It’s covered with spit but you can wipe that off and it’ll be fine.”

Merry dug into the pocket on Pippin’s trousers, which made Pippin giggle and then frowned at Frodo. “That’s the only one he had. He knows that’s my favorite one. He did that on purpose!” Merry glared at the child. “He ate the others, didn’t you?”

Pippin shrugged comically and held his tiny hands out to his sides.

“Only six then,” Frodo said as if that made it any better.

“He ate the cat’s eye ones,” Merry growled. “Let me shake him once, Frodo.”

“No, you are not shaking him,” Frodo said looking over at Sam who was polishing the blue marble on his trousers. “Sam, is your father at home just now?”

“Yes, sir,” Sam said.

“Would you mind getting him for me?” Frodo asked. “He knows a great deal about babies and maybe he will know what we should do now.”

Nodding Sam said, “My Gaffer will know all right. He once got my older brother’s head out from underneath a kitchen chair. It was stuck but the Gaffer greased him up with butter and it slid right outta there quick as you please. I wasn’t there as I’d not been born yet but the Gaffer tells about it enough so’s I feel like I was there.” Smiling, Sam handed the blue marble to Frodo and hurried from the room. Frodo heard the door to the kitchen slam shut as the lad left the house.

Merry glared over at Frodo. “This baby spoils everything,” Merry growled. “Sam and me were going to have biscuits.”

“I promise to get biscuits for you and for Sam once I have straightened this mess out with Pippin,” Frodo sighed. “I’m rather worried about him.”

Merry studied the baby and then said, “He’s fine. My marbles aren’t fine but this evil baby is fine.”

Pippin opened his mouth and then pointed with one finger down his own throat and made a gulping sound.

“I know you ate them!” Merry growled. “But you aren’t getting any more of them.”

“Eat?” Pippin asked looking innocently at Merry.

“When you’re old enough to have stuff of your own, I’m going to take it from you and hide it,” Merry threatened.

Pippin’s lower lip quivered.

“Meriadoc?” Frodo frowned.

“Well, someone has to teach him that he can’t take other folk’s things,” Merry said. “You aren’t doing very well so I’m taking charge of him.”

“If it were up to me, I’d allow you to have him,” Frodo sighed. “But I was left in charge of him and I will not have you threatening him even if he doesn’t completely understand what you’re saying, he knows that tone of voice.”

“He knows what I said,” Merry said.

“My?” Pippin said, eyes starting to water.

“Not now, you don’t have anything good yet,” Merry sighed. “I don’t want any of your old junk now. I’ll wait until you have marbles or toy soldiers or boats. I don’t want your blocks or that rabbit of yours.”

“E-ro,” Pippin corrected smiling.

“I don’t want Errol,” Merry said firmly. “I gave him to you, remember?”

As if recalling, Pippin wrapped his arms around Merry’s neck and hugged him tightly.

“I think he does listen to you,” Frodo frowned. “Why doesn’t he listen to me?” He moved over and ran a hand through Pippin’s curls.

“Because you talk to him like a baby,” Merry said hugging the little lad. “I talk to him like he knows what I’m saying. He likes that.”

“You also hold him upside down and shake him, encourage him to shove peas up his nose, and refer to him as ‘that wicked baby. I hardly see why he should prefer your company to mine,” Frodo said slightly irritated.

“He likes me because he knows that I don’t like him,” Merry said. “He does it to annoy me.” Merry continued to hug the small child and rub his back as he spoke making Frodo doubt Merry’s statement very much. Merry might not be willing to say as much, but he did like the baby a great deal.

*****

“Wait,” Hamfast said with a dry chuckle.

“Wait?” Frodo looked confused.

“You’ll get them marbles back in time,” Hamfast said patting Pippin on the bottom and winking at Merry. He held the small child out and handed him to Frodo. “Them marbles went all the way down so they won’t be no trouble at all. It’s only when things get stuck part way that you have to worry. He’ll be fine.”

Frodo breathed a sigh of relief. “So I don’t need to contact a healer?”

“Not unless you want to waste the healer’s time or Mr. Bilbo’s coin,” the Gaffer smiled. “The healer’ll just tell you to wait it out. That little Took will be returnin’ them marbles at some point.”

Merry groaned and held his nose. “I don’t want them if they’re coming back that way!”

“Nope,” Sam agreed. “You still got lots ‘o them as it is. Them few what he ate won’t be missed.”

“They won’t be missed enough for me to want them after that,” Merry nodded.

“Do, do you think I need to tell anyone?” Frodo said looking nervously at the baby and then at the Gaffer.

“Don’t see no point in that either,” Hamfast smiled. “They’ll wonder about it when the lad gives them a surprise in his nappy but I don’t suppose you have to explain none of it. It won’t harm the little Took if they don’t know.”

“What they don’t know won’t hurt Frodo,” Merry smiled.

The Gaffer winked at him and then reached over and patted Pippin on the head. “Just watch him, Master Frodo. If he was to eat somethin’ and get it stuck in his little throat you might not be so lucky if you take my meanin’.”

Frodo swallowed hard. “Yes, I do.” He hugged Pippin close.

“Babies are a handful,” Hamfast smiled. “Keep an eye on him or put him where he can’t make no mischief.”

“Where might that be?” Frodo asked.

*****

“I don’t think he likes it,” Merry grinned looking over at Pippin who was trying to climb out of the large, wooden structure.

“I don’t care if he likes it or not,” Frodo said. “It works.” Frodo smiled at the baby-play-yard that the Gaffer had brought over. It was a square, wooden play area with a padded bottom and slats surrounding it like a picket fence. The child could see out and could pull up to the sides and hold on so that he remained standing up but he was too small to climb out. Even when he stood up on his toes he was barely able to peer over the top rail.

“It’s like a pen that you’d put a baby goat in,” Merry said running a hand over the top rail. Merry looked down into the pen at Pippin who was seated holding his stuffed rabbit, jabbering to it. “I think Pippin is telling Errol all about this.”

“The important thing is that as long as Pippin is inside of that little baby-pen he can’t do anything dangerous like swallow your marbles,” Frodo smiled. “He’s safe until his parents return and collect him.”

“My Gaffer says that little play-pen is the best thing he’s ever built,” Sam smiled.

“I think he’s right,” Frodo smiled.

Pippin threw back his head at this moment and howled with rage.

“Pippin doesn’t like it,” Merry smiled as the tiny child kicked his feet and set the bells to ringing.

“Maybe not,” Frodo said above the din. “But Pippin is just going to have to learn to live with it. He’s safe in there and that is the important thing.”

Merry smiled. “Until he learns how to climb out.”

Frodo paled slightly and then pushed Merry toward the kitchen. “You and Sam go and get those biscuits. And Merry?”

“Yes?” Merry asked still smiling.

“Quit thinking of things to make me worry,” Frodo hissed. “I have quite enough of those as it is.” He looked at Pippin.

“Eat?” Pippin said hopefully taking a break from his howling.

“I’ll bring you a biscuit, Pip,” Merry whispered over the railing of the play-pen. “Frodo may be holding you prisoner but I won’t let you starve.” Merry turned to Sam and as the two them left the room, Merry said in a rather loud voice, “It’s all made of wood. Pippin will probably smack his head on those slats and knock himself out. He isn’t like other babies.”

As soon as Frodo was certain that Merry was out of the room, he reached into the play-pen and retrieved the small child and the stuffed rabbit and settled both of them onto his lap. “Merry is most likely saying that just to upset me, but I’m not taking any chances. Your parents will be back in a couple of hours and until then, I’ll just have to hold onto you, Peregrin Took,” Frodo whispered into the baby’s ear. “I can’t have you knocking yourself out, can I?”

Pippin snuggled against Frodo and sighed deeply as if satisfied.

The End

GW 01/21/2007