Hobbits not mine..Tolkien’s.

Cats..mine.

*

Frodo answered the knock at his Bag End West door to find an elf he didn’t know very well standing there. Frodo thought he had seen him with the high elves assisting Galadriel or Elrond., but he couldn’t quite place him. The elf bowed politely.

“Good day, Master Baggens. Galadin, at your service.”

“Good day to you, Galadin.” Frodo replied, with a little bow of his own. “Frodo Baggens at YOUR service.”

“I have come at the bidding of the Lady Galadriel. It is she that requests your service.”

“Most certainly.” Frodo said, glad to be of any assistance to the Lady that he could. Though he could not imagine what he could do for an Elf Queen in this peaceful realm.

Just then one of Frodo’s cats, Tom, glided around Frodo’s feet and Frodo picked him up and rubbed Tom’s ears as the cat so liked. Tom purred loudly and kneaded Frodo’s shoulder contentedly.

Then Frodo noticed a strange look on Galadin’s face. The Elf seemed almost to be scrunching up his nose in dislike or annoyance at the dear fluffy creature.

Frodo returned the peculiar expression.

“Whatever is wrong, Galadin?”

“You will see.” Galadin replied rather mysteriously. “If you could come with me now….?”

“Oh, yes! Of course.” Frodo set the cat back inside and closed the round green door behind him.

The Elf set off at quick pace that Frodo was just barely able to keep up with. What could possibly be so urgent that they needed to rush in this manner? There was usually no rushing needed at all on Tol Eressea.

*

When they arrived at Galadriel’s glorious dwelling in an grove of enormous mallorn trees Frodo began to guess the nature of the problem.

Cats were curled up sleeping on the winding flet stairs, prowling through the branches, lolling on the ground, scampering after golden leaves, chasing butterflies and each other and all looking very pleased with themselves. While the elves the cats scurried about actually looked somewhat distressed.

Frodo tried to suppress a giggle. Elves were so very stoic and unflappable…usually.

“Please follow me.” Galadin said in a resigned tone and proceeded to lead Frodo up the feline laden stairs that wound around the tallest, most regal tree.

Each cat seemed to acknowledge Frodo with a purr, a mew of ‘hello and welcome!’, a gently out-stretched paw and even little knowing cat-smiles. Cats adored Frodo even if he’d never met them before.

Frodo was delighted. The elves on the other hand were not.

They reached Galadriel’s chambers near the top of the tree and the sight that greeted Frodo’s eyes made them grow even larger than normal in surprise and…. glee.

The powerful and majestic Lady of Light was sitting upon her lofty chair entirely covered by adoring cats.

As if magnetized they were drawn to her light, love and bounty. The sound of their purring sounded nearly as loud as a swarm of bees. Galadriel attempted to gently move some of them from off her but they would immediately jump back up to drape themselves wherever they could upon her glimmering robes. The look of…. Helplesness!…on her face astounded and amused Frodo immensely.

Still trying to keep his giggling under control he said…..

“I did give you only one cat, did I not, My Lady?”

“Only one, Frodo Baggens. Yet she met with another it seems and another and another….in what appears an endless cycle of …of…kittening,” The last word.. kittening.. Was slightly muffled by the fluffy white cat that rubbed across Galadriel’s face as she tried to speak. Frodo thought it was the first cat he had given the Lady last year.

That was it. Frodo burst out into uncontrollable laughter. The mighty Lady of Light who commanded such power that few could imagine obviously had no power whatsoever over these felines.

‘It is not funny. Fwo…Frodo..B…achoo!!!!!! Baggens!” Galadriel exclaimed as she spoke through a cats tail and a nose-full of fur.

Frodo was gone! He couldn’t stop laughing for at least ten minutes, while Galadriel glared at him with her magnificent ancient and irritated eyes.

When at last his choking giggles subsided and he had stopped rolling around on the floor of the flet he tried to rise and stand before her with some semblance of dignity.

“Are you through, Frodo Baggens?” Galadriel asked, peering over a calico.

“Yes, my Lady.” Frodo said stifling a last chuckle or two.

“Frodo, what am I to do?” she asked.

“But, my lady, you are the great Galadriel and yet you ask me, a mere hobbit, what to do.”

“Yes, Frodo, I am the great Galadriel, but not to these creatures.”

“They love you, my Lady. That is obvious.”

“Indeed! They love me as if I were a great heap of catnip-weed! And they breed and breed incessantly!”

“Umnn.. Yes. I know. They did overrun the Shire at one time till they simply stopped and settled down to a more normal…umm… rate of reproducing. “

“Have you any idea how to control the creatures?”

“They do not heed YOUR commands, my Lady?”

“No!” the elf Queen cried, completely perplexed by this only failure of one of her commands that she had ever experienced.

“Sometimes all you have to do is tell them to stop doing whatever it is that bothers you.”

“Really, Frodo, do you think I haven’t tied that?”

A tiger-striped cat licked her nose. “Stop, please.” she told it and it went on rubbing noses with her and licking away, all un-heedful.

Frodo felt the giggling arise within him again.

“Do not laugh, Frodo Baggens!” Galadriel commanded. It worked on him. The giggling fit did not take hold.

“I am most truly sorry they are troubling you so, my Lady.”

“Yes, but what can I DO about them?”

“Well.. let me try.” Frodo said, after thinking for a while.

Galadriel sighed. What could a Halfling do that a mighty Elf queen could not? Well.. apart from carrying that ring up Mt. Doom and all……

Frodo approached Galadriel and her huge pile of cats.

They turned all their adoring gazes upon him and their purring grew even louder.

Galadriel looked alarmed.

Frodo stroked several of them gently.

“Now really, is this behavior necessary?” he asked them.

They all looked slightly abashed.

“Now get off the Lady’s lap.”

Several cats got off her lap.

“I meant all of you. Off of her. Off of the chair. Off of the flet. Go outside. Run free………. And not so many kittens!”

With much scampering the cats all obeyed him instantly. Within moments the entire flet and the entire glade was cat-free.

Frodo peered off into the distance and saw the ‘herd’ of cats disperse towards wood and field and meadow in all directions.

“Well, there they go, my Lady.” He observed calmly.

Galadriel was astonished. Another first in her long life.

“However did you do that, Frodo?”

“I really don’t know.” he replied modestly. “Cat’s just always do as I say.”

Galadriel simply stared at him for quite a long time. Actually she was glad to be able to breathe without getting a snoot-full of cat hair.

“Thank you, Frodo. It seems there is indeed more to you than appears to the eye.” she said.

“I don’t really think so, my Lady. As Sam would say, ‘It’s just the way of things.’ He has a way with growing things and I just have a way with…cats.”

“So it would appear.”

Frodo bowed.

“I’m glad I could help in whatever small way I could. Now ,if you don’t mind, my Lady, I left tea on the table at home.”

“Of course, Frodo. You may go.”

Frodo bowed once more and left Galadriel to dust herself off in a cloud of fluffy cat fur.

*

“Lord of the Cats.” Frodo said as he sauntered off home, quite pleased with himself.

END