About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search | |
Grant them eternal rest, O Lord, and may light eternal shine upon them.
The mournful sound was carried by the wind coming from the West and seemed but a whisper to me. The murmur dealt a blow to my heart; you were gone. For hours, I sought for a place to find peace, leaving my brother at the dining table to let this sink in. I am certain now that he knows, for not many can reach my heart these days as you once could. So tell me, why do I weep bitter tears for you? You were my faithful companion, our bond forged on the blessed grounds of Valinor. Gifted by Oromë, you followed me to this forsaken world on Arda, ever remaining true to your nature. My oath was not yours, yet you willingly took on the same doom that we shared the moment we sailed eastwards. With whom shall I hunt with equal passion? Who will follow my horn with the love and affection you gave me, chief of the wolfhounds? Gone are those days and I do mourn for them. How sorely I was mistaken to think we would last forever, that there would be forgiveness for me. Or that you would face your fate at my side, a fate we both long expected would happen. Not only did you betray me once, but you fell under her spell as I did. Why did you bring her to me? Blinded by her grace, you did not wish to see the intent of her enchantment. But I did, and chose to save the life of my brother in the end. Today the horns delivered me news of your death. No longer will there be a chance that you will return to me as you did twice before. Was your last fight bitter? Did you think of me when you drew your final breath? Awareness of your passing pierces my soul, bludgeons me with the loss of your true heart and loyalty. May you forgive me for my wrongful deeds, my blessed friend.
Absolve, O Lord, the souls of all the faithful departed from every bond of sin.
The trumpet, scattering its awful sound across the graves of all lands, summons all before the throne. What shall I, a wretch, say then? To which protector shall I appeal when even the just man is barely safe?
It is as I have feared. Like an unpredictable storm, the dead come flooding into the halls where I chose to remain. As a chain in the wheels of the world, created by Eru’s scions, I played my part, setting matters in motion on that glorious day when I found a maiden so fair. As I watch helplessly, I recognise most of the fëar; feeling pride that I once was able to protect their fates, but now I realise that I only hastened their demise. I wish to speak words of comfort to them, but the skill of speech, once granted to me, is utterly spent. Is it not typical of you to be the last one to remain standing? For years I witnessed you basking in the impertinent pride that was yours alone; wanting to be the best, the most favourable, the most desirable; your needs, and your deepest wishes: it seemed unquenchable. How bitter it must have been to be denied by her, only to witness later that I, your faithful companion, was allowed to walk next to her. At first, I could not believe that her words should be regarded as double-edged. When she portrayed her mortal love as a friend of all living creatures, I could only believe this to be true. How could I forget that when we met, you were the same? Now I realise that I lost my master on the day you swore to follow your sire, blind-sided by victory and fame. Forgive me, my master, for leaving your side thrice and to return twice. To me, the power of her essence and her song subdued the sound of your horn. But if it is any consolation to you, know that my life has been ill-fated ever since. Yet, I fought my most glorious battles for her and the hero’s tale is granted to me and not to you. But, my old master, during my final hour of existence on Middle-earth, I wished to feel your kind hands on me once more while silence encompassed me. Mortality be cursed, my current masters are beyond my reach and I know no master anymore.
Give me a place among the sheep and separate me from the goats, let me stand at Thy right hand. When the damned are cast away and consigned to the searing flames, call me to be with the blessed. Bowed down in supplication I be Thee, my heart as though ground to ashes: Help me in my last hour.
O Lord Jesus Christ, King of glory, deliver the souls of all who died in faith from the pains of hell and from the deep pit. Deliver them from the lion's mouth, lest the jaws of hell swallow them, lest they fall into everlasting darkness. But let Saint Michael, the leader of hosts, bring them forth into Thy holy light.
The door is firmly shut behind her. With a sigh, I turn around to watch the hound dozing at the fireplace, while Nerdanel’s request still repeats itself in my thoughts. “I cannot take him, it would be unwise for him to take up residence in Tirion while not everyone has forgiven him.” Nerdanel’s eyes mirrored her pain and confusion, but who was I to tell her that her son was equal in his creation of her and is therefore part of her life, too? Aye, I do admit that surprise overtook my soul for a moment when I learnt of Mandos’ decision to release the most tempestuous of the seven. But then, those dark halls are no place for Celegorm whilst I know that his eyes long for unbridled landscapes and lands to explore. He can only achieve redemption if we acknowledge the approach fitting his temper. And such is my task today. I remember the day when I came to know him. Escorted by his father and grandfather, I accepted him as my apprentice. Yes, I had my concerns, for he had not yet grown into full stature, but now I realise that my concerns were unwarranted. Many years have passed since. From afar, I had to witness how his dire hunt for his father’s pledge replaced his love for nature and creatures. Often I blamed myself for creating the greatest huntsman of all, but who can comprehend the full intent of our all Father? Aye, Father, I do now understand what I should have done: allow me to repair this. Freed from the chains of his sins, I know now that I am one of the few who understand him fully, the one who can guide him along his path to achieve the eternal rest many of the exiles long for. Understanding is mine, yet again, as his master; I will prepare him for his righteous part in the music, now that his feä no longer wanders astray. If this is my task Father, I will accept this responsibility. A forlorn sigh from Huan interrupts my thoughts. The hound was permitted to leave the halls the moment his anguish became too much, but his head has hardly left his paws since he passed through the same door which Nerdanel just closed behind her. Vána’s voice quivered when she beheld his sorrowful eyes and did not leave his side for months until he started to eat again. Whereas the flowers hearken to her voice, Huan could not be swayed to leave his place for her. How can I make amends to him after he once so joyously accepted his new master and followed him willingly to the other shores? Ah, faithful friend, how can I take away those memories that haunt your thoughts? How can I convince you that I, as your old master, am more than willing to make you the chief of that pack of hounds who eagerly await your leadership again? Can you not see that you have been spared for a reason? Have you forsaken all recollection of our Creator’s thoughts and intent? I lower myself beside him onto one knee and his eyes meet mine. My hand strokes his grey fur to offer him consolation, for I understand that Nerdanel’s plea to spare her son from the hands of revenge also felt like a hammer stroke to him, even though he was not to blame. How can I make him understand that his heroic deeds have reached the hearts and minds by means of Eärendil’s words? I know that I do not need to speak the words of encouragement again. I also know I cannot bring myself to tell him that his role within the Ainulindalë has not ended yet. For now, I shall rejoice in his simple reacceptance of his old master. I watch how Huan, with trembling paws, raises his mighty body from the floor and his tail wags slightly. My heart rejoices to see his eyes glimmering again. Ah, such glory to see him delivered from his anguish and I know now for certain that the everlasting dark shall not be his lot.
Blessed Lord Jesus, grant them rest, Blessed Lord Jesus, grant them eternal rest.
Let eternal light shine upon them, O Lord: with Thy saints for ever, for art merciful.
I have done all that I could. Whereas Fëanor’s son embraced his new life: emerging in the halls filled with boisterous mirth, revelling in hunting the beasts that crowd my spouse’s lands. Yet, he had to fight hard to earn his place amongst the others and Oromë would not intervene as Celegorm proved his worth. The hound dogged my footsteps as he followed me, welcoming the Ringbearers and observing the Dance of Life brought by my maidens with his eyes filled with weariness as if he still cannot believe his former master is born anew. Oromë’s hand has been firm and steady, setting out the course of healing for Celegorm and Huan. More than once he has sent out both to do his bidding, leaving the younger pups gazing after them, their eyes full of desire to accompany them. It is not Celegorm who rejects what is inevitable, but Huan. Today, in my garden of innermost solitude, I have revealed to both what most will not speak of. Tears of Lamentation I shed long ago for the tree that I held so dear, and left Kulullin drained from my near helpless deeds. Not many know that Lorien and I bore the brunt of Manwë’s disbelief and anger at our swift foolishness. On that cursed day, a bittersweet victory was mine once Laurelin gifted us one last fruit that not even the mighty Aulë could carry. I know the hound refused to acknowledge my rebellion against the council of the others, once Lorien and I tried in vain to salvage our beloved trees. It is not spoken of often and mayhap it is hard to believe that I, a Valier of much wisdom in my own right, am not infallible. Celegorm remembered and nodded in silence, acquiescing that it was a small note in Eru’s composition. His eyes are fast bound to his former companion, who I know would not want to believe that I have been capable of such a deed. Even more so, once I finished the tale of sacrifices brought to hallow Arien’s vessel, the hound rose to his feet in disdain and I knew he thought that I was no longer on his side. Therefore, I sang again, despite the fact that my magic failed to heal him once before; I hearkened to the Elanor to arise. Huan halted in his steps once the flowers sprouted around his paws. A look of wonder and liberation mirrored in his eyes while the drops of sunlight a light never to be forgotten until the end of days, beckoned him sway. What more can I say? I recall too well the prophesy of Yavanna. “My lamentation gave birth to the vessel of the sun and one of my fiercest maidens steers it now. I know grief is in both your hearts still, but let us combine the power of it and ye shall both reap from it. Thy combined power in companionship is an important chord in the music of the Ainur now that the Last Battle draws near. Let woes of the past be forgiven and seek out what once was and always will remain.” I halt, if my repeated guidance will not reach Huan again, then I shall ask Oromë to gift Celegorm with another pup, knowing that we all need assurance of the fulfilment of his task. At last! Huan hearkens to my plea as the light embraces his tortured fëa and I know now we shall succeed.
Grant them eternal rest, O Lord, and may light perpetual shine on them, in the company of Thy saints for evermore, because Thou art merciful.
Deliver me, O Lord, from everlasting death on that dread day: when the heavens and earth shall quake: when thou shalt come to judge the world to come. I am seized with trembling and I am afraid until the day of reckoning shall arrive and the wrath to come. When the heavens and earth shall quake.
Long had he considered this impossible: the banners of the house of Finwë whipping proudly on Manwë’s winds. The houses march united, their fire flags marking their place in the battle lines, and it is Aulë and Oromë who command us, no other shall we follow. Celegorm and I are amongst Oromë’s hunters; fast and furious we gallop onto the enemy lines, quenching our thirst for revenge against all the hurts inflicted upon our kind, avenging our fates. I shall not leave his side; I will guard his back with vigour, and his longbow and sword watch will over me. I cannot help but recall the battle we fought under the stars, where once we bought his kin extra time to escape the impending doom these hideous creatures beset on Arda for ages. It is as Vána told us, and I rejoice in our brotherhood. Everyone we find on our path will meet our vengeance fuelled with fire. For long have I asked myself if the sinner amongst us would be truly redeemed? As I watch him fight, his eyes often find me and I know that he will not forsake me, neither will I abandon him. For he hides nothing, he never could, and what I see now is his true face: the imperishable flame flickers in his eyes. Even though the oath still binds him, a firm belief in the Allfather’s music drives him now under Vána’s sun. I cannot think too much now as a blade scathes over my skin: a roar reaches my ears and I see how my master hews the evil creature down. Then, I feel my master’s hand placed on my head, my eyes find his, and all doubt that just shortly before was alive in me, vanishes from my heart. Protection is mine under his command. Nay, I do not doubt his words as he says once more: “Your role in the music is not over yet, Huan. You shall follow me and be watchful at my side, as my companion, Eru willing. With my sword in my left and you at my right hand, forgiveness will be forever mine.” I know he asked oft for this boon in the days before, this day is no exception. Yet, again I grant him my loyalty and leap forward with him when Oromë’s horn resounds over the plains. We are so close to our freedom, will Tulkas spring forth and shall Túrin avenge the children of Húrin and all Men? Will there be salvation at last? On this day of wrath, victory is not ours yet, and once more we shall attack. Let Arda tremble beneath our feet and the soil quake under what will undoubtly follow: in Eru’s might Tulkas shall bring Melkor down and Túrin shall slay him, Ilúvatar willing.
That day, that day of wrath, of calamity and misery, a great day and exceeding bitter.
Lord, grant them eternal rest: and let the perpetual light shine upon them. Let them rest in peace. Amen
My brother no longer walks alone: we found him, and as I wade through the waves, my feet no longer feel the ocean floor. Huan swims next to me, his eyes are set on the jewel we will now restore to its true glory. It is such a strange thing: to be so close to a desire of a previous life, yet this need is replaced by something grander, now that I know which note I am in the music of our Allfather. The moment I felt Huan’s nose nuzzling my right hand in Vána’s garden, I felt grateful that he once again sought out my companionship. Our skills combined led us to the jewel of fire first, but my father’s hand stayed me, and my brother retrieved it instead. This task entrusted to us is something I never could have fathomed, but I believe in my Lord’s guidance. His firm hand corrected me when I would stray and showed me the way to a better life: he enriched it with his unrelenting faith in me, and his beautiful consort’s voice renewed my vigour and passion for life with every step I took. Over the ages, I realised that nature held my heart all along and slowly Huan looked upon me with different eyes. My own hands and deeds restored his faith in me during our fight on the battle plains of Valinor. As we both cleave now through the cold waves, Huan halts and looks at me. A deep shuddering breath fills my lungs and Ossë’s expanse carries me to my final task. A beauty so divine, its light hearkens me to approach: will it reject or allow my touch? I cannot tarry now, the powers have placed a weight on my shoulders: I cannot falter now. I, the third son of Fëanor, I who always strived the most toward the restoration of our heirloom, is awarded with the completion of this task which will bring us closer to our final hour. The time is near as I clasp the jewel in my hand: it welcomes me and recognises the purity of my heart. For a moment, I wonder what the jewel can do for my broken brother, he who was lost to us for so long. Will he heal? There will not be much time left for us now and I wish true bliss to be his reward. A release from the burden of the everlasting dark that he faced for so long is something I grant him. Our house is reunited under a banner once more, the honour of the house of Finwë finally restored. Now that the final battle is behind us, and the end of our days draws near; I feel strengthened in my unfailing belief in Allfather. I feel mightier than ever: the struggle for redemption came with a price, but with a reward as well. Whereas Vána’s lamentation gave birth to Arien the mighty, my small task today shall repay the guidance both have given me. I can find peace now, knowing that my companion will never leave my side. What is to come, I do not know. Death is our victory, as we both know we will give our lives for Arda remade without any hesitation: my hands now hold my fate. Bring on the breaking of the jewels and the rekindling of the trees! I will face it with an unburdened heart as the perpetual light of Eru Ilúvatar enfolds me and welcomes my rescue from these depths. Guided by this power, I break through the surface and breathe in the fresh air while Huan’s joyful bark welcomes me.
I am free at last.
Into Paradise may the Angel lead thee: at thy coming may the Martyrs receive thee, and bring thee into the holy city Jerusalem. May the Choir of Angels receive thee, and with Lazarus, once poor, may thou have eternal rest. ~*~*~
The author notes of this story and special thanks to my beta's can be found here. |
Home Search Chapter List |