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Knowing  by Rhyselle

Author's Note: This ficlet was directly inspired by Fiondil's wonderful saga, "Elf Interrupted" and was a belated "Begetting Day" present to him. It is being posted with his permission. If you haven't read "Elf Interrupted" yet, go read it now… it's truly awesome in scope and execution.

Disclaimer: This fanfiction has been written for the enjoyment of the author and the readers and not for any form of fiscal recompense. It is not intended to infringe upon any intellectual property rights held by the Tolkien Estate or any other corporation or organization or individual that has any legal rights to the Legendarium.

Knowing

by Rhyselle

The Lord of the House of the Golden Flower tipped his head back against the trunk of the beech tree, his harp tucked against his side. Breathing deeply of the night air and the multitude of scents around him--loam, bay laurel, the slightly musty smell of shelf fungi, and even a waft of night blooming jasmine from the protected gardens closer to the house--he settled into his lofty perch. Here, in the golden autumn woods of Imladris, he frequently came, seeking out solitude and reaching for the serenity that he remembered experiencing in other groves in the Undying Lands before his return to Middle-earth. This particular night, Rivendell's halls were full of uncharacteristic excitement and so he had retreated to the forest's peace. He unfocused his eyes, slipping onto the Path of Dreams in the starlit night. As he did so a dream, or rather, a memory surrounded him...


Harp in hand; he plucked softly at the strings, making music for the Mallorn that cradled him in its silvery branches. The notes segued into the melody of Lord Námo’s lullaby, and the tree rustled contentedly as the strain filled the fragrant night air. Glorfindel gradually came to sing the verses that had become incorporated into his mind from his time in the Hall of Renewal as his fëa healed to the point that he could be re-housed. And along with the song, came memories of his time there--memories of two elflings in desperate need of love and reassurance who had entwined themselves about his heart almost without his noticing. His voice broke suddenly, and his face was wet as he wept, missing his little ones. He wrapped his arms about his harp and grieved. He knew he had to let them go and that one day he would be able to see them again, to embrace them again; but right now his heart only knew that it would be a very long time before the twins could come forth once more, re-embodied on Arda, and he wondered sadly if he was always destined to love and then have to part from those he loved--to be alone again.

"Of course not, child."

The tree shifted its branches to accommodate the form of the Lord of Lórien as he slid an arm about Glorfindel's bowed shoulders. The younger of the Fëanturi drew the golden-haired Noldor into his embrace.

"I miss them," Glorfindel whispered, scrubbing at his eyes with his fist. "I love them and I miss being there for them and helping them and protecting them."

"It is all right to miss them, but you mustn't forget that even the youngest among you must learn how to help themselves. With you always there, Elúred and Elúrin would not have an opportunity to learn how to stand on their own, and become what Ilúvatar has meant for them to be. There is a time to take up responsibility for those younger and smaller than one’s self, and also a time to let them go, to make their own mistakes and successes. You know this, but now you have to accept this." Irmo tipped Glorfindel's face up to the starlight and gazed into his eyes. "They still love you, Glorfindel, and they will never forget you and the love you gave to them. Ever."

Suddenly Glorfindel's grief eased and his heart lightened as it seemed that another, more powerful Voice had spoken the last words, and he was filled with utter assurance that they were absolutely true, and joy chased away pain and sadness. He smiled shakily up at the Vala, his face still glimmering with the tracks of his tears. "I know," he whispered, then cried out louder, "I KNOW!" and he laughed as he hugged Irmo tightly.


Glorfindel was laughing as he slipped back into the awareness of Middle-earth to find Erestor standing below him, calling his name.

"Have you been out here all this time? I've been looking for you for ages! Come to the house! They want you there! Hurry!" The dark-haired Noldor whirled and hurried towards the Last Homely House, his robes flying in his atypical haste.

Glorfindel laid a hand on the trunk of the tree, thanking it for its shelter, and leapt lightly to land on the forest floor below. Tucking his harp under his arm, he swiftly followed after and overtook Erestor.

He ran up the stairs to the family's level of the House and came to a halt at the doorway that led into the private chambers of Lord Elrond and his Lady Celebrian. An elleth wrapped in an apron pulled him into the room and chivvied him over to the bed where the Lady of Imladris lay, flushed and smiling, her lord sitting on the edge of the mattress by her side. But Glorfindel's eyes weren't on the proud and happy expression on the faces of the son of Eärendil and his wife, but on the two blanket-wrapped bundles that lay cradled, one in each parent's arms.

He dropped to his knees at the bedside, placing the harp on the floor, and stared into the tiny, pink faces crowned by tufts of dark hair, his breath catching in his throat. His hands reached out, almost without his volition, towards them; his forefingers each finding their way into the infant grasp of a tiny palm, and he smiled joyfully as the twins, as one, opened grey eyes and stared at him.

Mesmerized by past and present roiling through his mind, he suddenly understood much that had remained unknown about the purpose of his second life, and it seemed as if he could feel the Presence, unseen, of Lord Irmo and Lord Námo in the room with them.

Elrond's voice broke through the reverie he'd fallen into. "We have named them Elladan and Elrohir."

And Glorfindel's joy overflowed and he laughed, the light of Valinor glimmering in his eyes, and looked up at the Lord of Imladris and said, "I know!"

-FIN-





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