“Why don’t we play hide and you seek me?” Pippin suggested in an effort to raise the melancholy that had settled over his eldest cousin.

They had spent the last few days exploring the city, visiting inns and markets and gardens. Frodo would have gladly spent the entire time in the library, but Pippin had dragged him away each day for lunch. “You have to get some sun, cousin, or you are going to get as moldy as these books!” he had said as he had coughed at all the dust in the room and tugged on Frodo’s arm. The hobbity scribe had always come, though not without giving the myriad scrolls a look of longing. Frodo and Sam still tired more easily than should be proper for a hobbit, but it was a pleasant enough time for the four of them, when they weren’t worried about how withdrawn Frodo had become, the Ring-bearer himself included in that worry. His maimed hand was never not in Sam’s as they walked about, except for the times they ate. Even then he used his good hand as much as he could and kept the other one under the table and firmly around Sam’s after his beloved gardener and guardian had cut up his meats and vegetables. He was still trying to learn how to handle utensils and a quill again now that he was missing a finger and Sam had stepped in at Frodo’s wordless plea for help.

Merry or Pippin would always hold his other hand and wonder and worry about what had happened to the two while the four of them had been apart. There was darkness and torment behind their cousin’s eyes now, though his love was there as well, stronger than ever. His smiles were now rare and though tender, filled with sorrow and wistfulness instead of the light that had always burst from them. The two younger hobbits had tried to thank Sam for all that he had done to help Frodo, but the gardener would have none of it. “I’m just did what I promised Mr. Gandalf I would do and look after Mr. Frodo as I always have. There’s naught in there to thank me for, Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin. I would have done nothing different.”After some days of fretting and Frodo evading their questions as to what was wrong, Pippin proposed the game they had always loved as lads. The Ring-bearer looked a little surprised and more than a little suspicious at the suggestion. “I bet you know all the best places already, having been here so much longer.”

Pippin looked at his cousin innocently. “But come on, Frodo, I’m sure you can find some place to hide and not in the library either! Because that’ll be the first place anyone would check and I do want to have some fun here!”Frodo looked with a larger, more genuine smile than he had since the joy of their reunion had faded, first up at Pippin, then at Sam. He was still getting to the fact that he now had to look upat his younger cousin, but then he was looking up to him in more than one way now and that was as much the cause of his smile as was the tween’s plea. Sam smiled back encouragingly.

“Well, Pipsqueak, we can’t let you lose out on any fun, can we?” Frodo said.Pippin squealed in delight and began to dance around. “We can have pity on you, cousin and limit it to just the Citadel, at least for the first time, and you won’t have to search for anyone but Sam. I will search for Merry and you can search for Sam. It won’t be that hard. We can play it in more normal fashion next time.”

Frodo looked amused at the tween. “Thank you for that small mercy, cousin.”Frodo gave another look around and saw that Merry had already disappeared and then at Sam who shrugged and smiled back “There’s nothing for it, Mr. Frodo.”

Frodo sighed. “I suppose not. All right, Sam, go and hide and I’ll muddle through somehow.”Sam squeezed his hand gently. “I won’t go far.”

“Another small mercy,” Frodo said. “Thank you.”He closed his eyes and began to count loudly. When he reached forty, he opened his eyes. “Ready or not, here I come!”

He walked slowly down the dim hallway, looking in each room as he passed it, into each darkened alcove and wishing that he hadn’t agreed to this. Some of the rooms were locked and though he wouldn’t put it past his cousins to go in and lock the door, he didn’t think Sam would be that unfair to him. So he continued but found no sign of any of them.“Where are you?” he cried out, now getting fretful. The memory of his separation from them all at the Barrow-downs and from Sam in the tower rose up and tried to choke him. He passed his arm in front of his face as though to wipe those memories away. “Where are you?!”

* * *

At first Pippin was very careful searching for his Merry. They had already played this game several times and the tween had not found his cousin in any of the places he had previously. “Well, of course not,” the younger hobbit said to himself. “He wouldn’t hide in the same place twice. He knows better than that.”

He began to search a little faster when some time had passed and still he had not found Merry. He had stopped at each door and banged on the ones that were locked, calling out but receiving no answer. He had looked into each alcove and even into the large baskets that were in a store room, each time expecting his Merry to jump out and scare him silly, but Merry was nowhere to be found. The tween began to bitterly regret his suggestion as he felt the same worry and fear that he had felt on the battlefield below the Citadel when he had searched for hours and hours until he was so weary, he could have fallen over. “Merry, this isn’t funny!” he cried out. “Where are you?”

* * *

The plaintiveness of Frodo’s cry wrung Sam’s heart. This is why other lads had complained and said he couldn’t play with them, because he was always so worried about hurting Frodo that he had would reveal himself too soon. But Sam could not bear to hear that voice and sprang out from his hiding place, just ahead of where Frodo stood.

The Ring-bearer gave a cry and hugged his dearest friend tight to him. “I was afraid I had lost you,” he sobbed.Sam soothed him as best he could, stroking his curls and speaking right into his ear. “I”m sorry, Mr. Frodo dear. I should have come out sooner.”

Frodo held on for some long moments, then looked at Sam with a watery smile. “No, Sam, you did the right thing. I was...I was just remembering...things. I shouldn’t have let it get to me.” He took a deep breath to calm himself and breathed out slowly as Sam wiped at his tears. “Now, I suppose I should hide and you should seek me. I haven’t heard any cries of victory yet so the other part of the game must still be going on and we shouldn’t spoil any of Pippin’s fun by stopping early ourselves.”

Sam looked at his beloved master for a long time. “Are you sure, Mr. Frodo? I’m certain Mr. Pippin would understand if you didn’t want to go on.”Frodo took another deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “Quite sure. The memories just came on a bit strong, but I think I’ll be all right now. Start counting.”

Sam gave him another measuring look and Frodo smiled at him again, still a bit shakily, but with more confidence than before. The gardener then closed his eyes and began to count. Frodo squeezed his hand, then walked down the hallway and up several flights of stairs until he found a doorway he could hide behind. He heard Sam’s voice fade and then he waited, hoping that Sam wouldn’t be long.

* * *

"Merry!” Pippin cried again.

“Oh, stop your wailing, you ninnyhammer!” came a voice just ahead of him, full of fond exasperation.

The tween pulled off the top of the last basket there was in the room and nearly fainted with relief at the curly head that popped up from within.“Thank heavens I found you!” the younger hobbit cried. His lower lip began to tremble and Merry jumped out from the basket, just in time for Pippin to grab him into a hug tight enough to almost cut off his breath. “I was searching and searching and searching and I couldn’t find you,” the tween said between sobs and hiccups.

Merry stroked his curls and murmured comforts. “You’ve found me now. It’s all right, Pipsqueak. It’s all right now. I’m sorry.”“I don’t want to play anymore.”

“You don’t have to. Let’s just go find Frodo and Sam, shall we?”Pippin nodded against his cousin’s shoulder, but still didn’t let go for several more long moments. Merry held him as long as he needed and didn’t let go himself until Pippin loosened his grasp. He wiped the tween’s tears away and smiled for him and Pippin smiled back, a bit tremulously. Merry kissed his brow and took his hand and they went off together to find their cousin and friend.

* * *

The hallway in which Frodo and Sam had parted came to an end shortly after. In the torch light, Sam could see a flight of wide and deep stairs dug into the rock. They were almost too high for him to climb comfortably, but he figured that was the way his master had gone. He checked each room carefully, calling softly at the ones in which he could not get the knob to turn. He stopped at each alcove and then went up more stairs. After he had climbed several levels and found nothing, he began to fret more and more. This was too much like the search in the tower of Cirith Ungol had been. He knew there were no orcs here, but he began to fear what he would find around the next corner, a leering face with a nasty whip or sword. Worse, he began to fear he would hear that scream again when he had searching. Without knowing it at first, he began to sing the same song he had in the tower.

Hearing that was too much for Frodo. He had become increasingly fretful that he had hidden too well for his Sam to find him. His voice raised in reply to that song and he stopped out into the hallway, illuminated by torchlight. Sam ran to him then, seeing him as though lit up by fire, and cried out, “I was afraid I had lost you! I couldn’t find you.”“You have now, dear Sam,” Frodo murmured, drawing his fingers through Sam’s curls and holding him tight. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have never left you to search for so long.”

They held each other for a long time, rocking gently. Sam’s sobs seemed loud in the hallway and Frodo’s whispered comforts were the only other sound but for the crackle of the torches. It was that way that Merry and Pippin found them some time later, still holding onto each other. They wondered anew what had happened to them to have caused such a reaction.“I’m sorry, Frodo,” Pippin said softly.

Frodo kissed Sam’s head, then wiped at his tears. He let him go and dug into his pocket for a handkerchief, then turned to his younger cousin as Sam blew his nose. Frodo noticed his cousin’s eyes were red and that he held onto Merry’s hand tight enough that his knuckles were white. “It’s all right, my ’squeak,” he said. “I know you didn’t mean any harm by it. I suppose we all have memories that must be dealt with.”Pippin gave a sorrowful nod.

That night, they slept soundly, Frodo and Sam wrapped tightly in each other’s arms and Merry wrapped in Pippin’s. They weren’t going to lose one another again.

____

A/N:  On this Labor Day, I come to you, my fellow hobbbit lovers, with a  request your prayers please about my labor of love that I alluded to in my last post.  Some of you already know, now more of you will. My original is not a fic, but my first attempt at a book length non-fiction piece.  It's going to be on the spirituality of the Lord of the Rings.  So finally a way to make money (hopefully) and still be with our hobbits!  The best of both worlds!  I have read many other books on this subject and the web is full of such essays that I have yet to read so I was inspired to add to the pile. :)  I have grown so much through this story - learning as much from Aragorn as I have from Frodo - and I want to spread the good news (or I should say Good News, if I could be so bold).  So please, pray most importantly that this book is a spiritual success.  That is more important than financial, though I hope for that too!  But if I could touch someone or more than one and guide them like I have been guided, that would be so cool.  Of course, I am merely a pencil in God's Hand.  It would be to His credit and glory any spiritual success since I am not speaking myself of these matters.  I know the Enemy is going to try hard to make sure I lose heart on this so I need your prayers to strength my spiritual armor so his fiery darts will not harm me.  It will still be a long time before you see anything since I am just in my notetaking/transcribing to computer/reading more books stage.  I want to have it out at the same time The Hobbit movie comes out.  I also want to quit my job so I can work on this full time because that is what it's going to need, but I can't do that since I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go. :(  

Many thanks and lots of hobbity hugs and love for all your prayers! 

Namarie and No Iluvatar na le, Antane :)