Oh, my dearest Sam, the pain that pierced our heart was none like I had known since the day we had parted. Perhap it was even worse this time and I knew then what had happened. I ran to the shore and would have tried to swim all the way to you had not Gandalf swept me up in his arms, soaked nightshirt and all. How I fought him! I think his robes were too thick to feel the full force of my blows and I am grateful for that or otherwise he would be sporting many bruises where I pounded and kicked, trying to get free so I could swim to you. But he was too strong and we collapsed together on the sand when I stopped resisting him. He held me tight as I wailed my grief in his arms. He stroked my curls as he murmured prayers for you and for Rose. It’s a wonder I heard them over my sobbing, but then I knew he shared my grief. When I finally was able to stop crying for a moment, I looked up into his eyes and he wiped away my tears, I could see tears in his eyes as well.

“I wish I could be there for him,” I said, leaning against his broad chest.

“Do you think you are not?” he replied with a gentle smile.

I looked at him then and he held me against him and rocked me gently. I knew then, though he had retained his fondness for speaking in riddles, that he had spoken true. I wasn’t able to stand by you and hold you with my arms, but I could still hold you within our heart and still be with you there. That helped the first storm pass.

“He’ll be coming soon now,” Gandalf said as I rested against his heart, listening to it and remembering all the times I listened to yours.

“But why through the door of grief?” I asked, though I well knew the answer.

“Why not the same way you came here? And for the same reason? He will heal here, as you have. As all those who have traveled through the same door and come here for the same reason.”

“I am glad then. I can wait.”

“The wait will not be long.”

Gandalf was right, my most beloved brother. Time passes here so differently than it did in Middle-earth or perhap I should say no differently than it did during a long, sun-kissed afternoon in the Shire that seemed endless and perfect. I watched every night in the darkness as the moonlight shimmered on the water and I looked long and far for the ship I knew was there somewhere on the Sea, bringing you to me. I know your tears added to the water and when the two touched, they blessed each other, as Gandalf had told me when my tears had spilled over. The sighing of the Sea has calmed me to sleep many a night and so I spent these last nights waiting for you at the shore, listening to that sound, knowing how Lord Ulmo was speeding you to me so I could comfort you. The distance was closing all the while that had held us so far apart, yet I knew there was no distance in our heart and so I spent much time with you, all these years, even if only our heart could see you and hold you.

Though I will be overjoyed to see you, I know it will be also within a gate of sorrow, like to the one we parted under. That is fitting somehow since it will then seem that we had not parted at all, that we have taken the same steps together that we always have and there has been no interruption in our lives at all. I will be with you as you pass through that gate, holding your hand, as Lady Celebrian held mine. It is at times a long and narrow passage, but there is always enough room for two to walk abreast. There I will be when you walk back into the sunshine, as the Lady, Bilbo, Gandalf, the Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond were there for me when I took my own steps there. Don’t fret, my own, if those steps are faltering at first, mine certainly were, but they will steady as you rest more and more in our heart and gain your strength. I will be so glad to see those steps grow stronger and stronger as you heal and this jagged, bleeding wound closes and joy comes to you again. Take your time. I will linger with you under the eaves as long as you need. This cannot be rushed, but respected and there is so much to learn that will open up to you as its own pace. Let the story unfold then as it should, but know that we will be turning the pages together and the ending is already known.

What a wondrous place awaits you, my Sam! What a wondrous, glorious, beautiful place! I will leave it a whiles so I can be with you within the sorrowful gate, for there is no other place that I would rather be than with you and you will need a guide so you will not get lost in the wilderness. As I had the shining figure of Lady Celebrian to guide me out so I will guide you, to be a beacon of hope and love as she was for me. The steps are sometimes treacherous and slippery or sharp and you may cut yourself, but you will not fall, for I will be holding onto you and wherever you bleed, I will bind. One day you will see the land yourself that you are traveling to, now just seen distantly through a veil of tears, and I will be so glad to be there with you when you do!  

Welcome home, Sam, welcome, welcome, home!