I.  Cue:  Margaret Atwood once wrote: "We are learning to make a fire."

 Reasons During the Quest to be Grateful

            “It’s not really so very hard to make a fire in the wild,” Bilbo explained to Sam, the first time he and Frodo were able to convince the Gaffer to allow the lad to come with them on one of their rambles.  “You start with a something that will take a spark well--dry grasses, long wood shavings, cotton threads, thistle fluff, the pith from a cottonwood tree--yes, like that.  Now, as you can’t always carry enough matches with you such things are good to have for use with striker sets.  Then some kindling....”

            Sam often blessed the old Hobbit’s tutelage.

II.  Chosen cue:  Tedious, routine work

From a Guardsman’s Letter Home

            You ask, Naneth, what duty I have drawn.  I tell you--I guard a tree--a dead tree!  Can you imagine a duty so absurd?  I stand there for hours at a time, dressed in archaic armor with pike in hand, and keep watch on a tree that has been dead so long its bark has fallen off!  I admit that even in death the White Tree is shapely.  But I ask you--would you think it a necessary task?  I may not move whilst on guard, nor may I speak with my fellows.  I am oft bored to tears.

III:  The happiest moment of the past few days

An Unexpected Gift

            “The lads ’n’ me’ve coiled the ropes fer the tents there by the shed, Master Frodo.”

            “Thank you very much, Gaffer.  I’ll tell Bilbo when he returns.”

            “Oh, and Master Frodo, there’s somethin’ fer you, too.  My brother Andy sent it.  His wife--her grandmum worked for the Old Took, and he give her this for her first child.  Anson ought to have it next, but him’s never been one t’read.  And hearin’ as how ye collect books with pictures, she thought as ye’d like it.”

            Frodo accepted the gift, examined it, and smiled, his face alight.  “Elves created it!”

 The other night one of my colleagues left a copy of Tolkien’s Letters in my box at work.  I have no idea as yet who did so, but hope to find out Wednesday.  I’ve looked for a copy for some time--and to have it appear as it did was a joy I cannot express!

IV.  Cue:  Role Models

I Want to Be Just Like ...

            If you asked him, young Bilbo wished to be just like his father Bungo Baggins:  steady, trustworthy, dependable, predictable; responsible.  After all, everybody in Hobbiton respected Bungo Baggins, whose one unpredictable act had been to marry Belladonna Took.

            Not that Belladonna actually did much to shock the neighbors.  No, she was an exemplary wife and mother--a pillar of the community.  (Except for her lamentable habit of singing comic songs in public, and ....)

            But after trips to visit his grandfather, Thain Gerontius, sometimes Bilbo wished to be like Grandda instead.

            “Belladonna, your son is playing at dragons and treasure again!”

V.  Cue:  Regrets made right

Making Things Right

            Tom glared at his friend.  “She was hurt when you didn’t speak afore you left Hobbiton.”

            Stubbornly, Sam repeated, “I told you, Tom, I had a job t’do, and I wouldn’t bind Rosie to me if’n I might not even return!”

            “Well, you been back since October--don’t you think as it’s time?”

            “But I’m workin’ on Bag End and gettin’ trees planted, and----”

            “Samwise Gamgee!  There’s always somethin’ that’ll need doin’, and you know it.  But this is my sister, and she wants t’spend what time as you can spare her with you.  She deserves it.”

            “I spoke--last night.”

VI.  Cue:  "Music can name the unnamable and communicate the unknowable."

-Leonard Bernstein, American composer

A Lament for Gandalf

            The Hobbits sat together on the lawn before the pavilion the Elves of Lorien had raised to house the Fellowship.

            “Another lament for Gandalf?” asked Pippin softly, looking up as they listened to the music from the treetops.  At Frodo’s wordless nod, the Took added, “It makes me think of warm hearth fires and bright torches reflected by deep waters.”

            After a sudden burst of song Merry added, “And that’s almost like his fireworks exploding over the Water!”

            Sam’s commented.  “He were such a light to us.” 

           Frodo’s face shone, drawn by the music toward something far more than light.

VII.  Cue:  A tree speaks.

The Tree-guard

            In the Old Forest they’d encountered Old Man Willow, with his songs of sleep and his malice toward those who moved freely through the valley of the Withywindle.  The four Hobbits had survived the encounter, but had developed a healthy appreciation for the ability of some trees to plan mischief.

            In Lothlorien, on the other hand, they felt not malice but curiosity and solace.  Peace, whispered the mallorn among whose roots their pavilion had been raised.

            Rest, advised its fellow.

            Strengthen, was the message of a third.

            We will watch over you.

            And the suspicion they knew toward trees dissipated.      

VIII.  Cue:  Contrast of beauty and ugliness

What Might Have Been

            “Sam-dad, when you saw Uncle Frodo claim the Ring--what did he look like?”

            How can he answer this question?  How can he tell his daughter that the one Hobbit he’d always considered the most beautiful of souls born within Middle Earth at that moment looked----

            Well, it was impossible to say precisely how Frodo’d looked at that instant, when madness had taken him so completely he looked quite sane!  But the beauty he’d always found in Frodo Baggins was overlaid by the cunning of the Ring.  It was the only time he’d ever seen his beloved Master as repulsive!

IX.  Chosen cue:  Characteristics of the anti-hero - covetousness, dishonesty, conniving, cowardice, hubris.

Plans for Seduction

            “Lotho!  Have you seen my cameo on the black silk ribbon?”

            “The one you took from the Proudfoot smial?  No, Mother.”

            “Can you believe that Olo had the gall to accuse me to my face of taking it?”

            “Well, you did, after all.”

            “You are going out?”

            “Yes.”

            “You aren’t planning to see that Chubbs lass, are you?  She’s no better than she ought to be, you know.  She’s only interested in what you might give her, not in you as a gentlehobbit.”

            Uncertain, Lotho fingered the cameo in his pocket, very glad his mother couldn’t see through the cloth.

X.  Cue: "Traveling is a fool's paradise. We owe to our first journeys the discovery that place is nothing."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

What Was Found

            ’Tis said that we bear within us all the world we ever truly desire to see.  Certainly, for Sam Gamgee that was true, for he’d never truly wished to see more of the world than the Shire.  Yet in the end he found there was so much more than the Shire that was beautiful and worthy; and by seeing the waste places he found he loved the green of home the more in the end.

            But for Frodo Baggins--he saw much of beauty as he traveled--but brought home with him the waste places in his heart.

XI.  Cue:  Contrasts in humor

Miscalculation

            “Look at these!” Pippin exclaimed.

            “Wigs!” said Merry, holding one up.  “And this one looks just like....”

 *

            That evening the younger Hobbits fetched away meals for themselves.  When the company entered the Hall of Fire, it was to find what appeared to be a very small Elrond seated in his chair.  “Mithrandito!” he bellowed.

            An equally small wizard appeared and delivered into Gandalf’s hands a particularly large pipe.  Somehow no one seemed surprised when it exploded with a flash and a cloud of smoke.

 *

            “No sense of humor,” sighed Pippin as they scrubbed the floor with nailbrushes.  Their guard snickered.

XII.  Cue:  Innocence -- open trust, anticipates the best, inexperienced with true evil

Preservation

            Fredegar Bolger watched Frodo rise from the table where he’d been reviewing reports on those who’d been arrested, killed, or disappeared when they’d sought to protect their homes or communities from the ruffians, and pace across the Cottons’ second parlor, plainly distressed.  “I traveled much of the length and breadth of Middle Earth, hoping to draw the evil after me, to spare the Shire.  I expected to die to see the Enemy’s weapon destroyed.”  He paused, turning to search his cousin’s face.  “Was it for nothing, Freddy?  Have our folk totally lost their innocence?  Is no place untouched by evil?”

XIII.  Cue:  Superstition and fear

What He Cannot Say

            “Frodo, why did you not tell Merry and Pippin you were sailing?”

            “It was tearing me apart, Gandalf.”

            “And you did not tell Sam, either?”

            “He realized it, there at the last.”

            “And you told none of them goodbye?”

            After a silence:  “I couldn’t say that.  I--I’ve not said it since....”

            “Since when?”

            “Since my parents died.  I said it to them, and then they never came home again.”

            “And why did you not say it to Sam, Merry, or Pippin?”

            “I was afraid--terrified....”

            “Of what?”

            “That if I said it--I’d never--never see them again.  Ever.”

XIV.  Cue:  Favorite Season.

The Promise for Next Year

            Paladin Took stood on the top of one of the Green Hills, looking northwest at the great field of barley that was now but a haze of green over the rich black earth, then south at the great square of hop vines, already growing so swiftly one could almost see them lengthen before one’s eyes.  Next spring one would be able to enjoy their yield in the inns across the Shire; in this spring one could see, here in these fields, the promise of fine beer and ale all would know then.

            As a farmer, he was more than content.

XV.  Cue:  "Do I dare disturb the universe?"

from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," by T.S. Eliot

The Question

            Well, here am I, and for all my study I can see no means by which those who live in this benighted land can ever hope to fully oppose Sauron, as he is now known.  How can Men, Dwarves, or even Elves hope to defeat him when he grows again in power, as he has learned to do?  His strength grows with each one he has slaughtered to his benefit!

            Only we who were created his equals could hope to oppose him.  Dare I stretch out my hand to take up his own weapon and thus stop him?

            I must!

XVI.  Chosen Cue:  Meeting or exceeding limitations

“Never Say Never”

            “I’ll never live anywhere but in the Tooklands!” Esmeralda had once declared--before she fell in love with the son of the Master of Brandy Hall.

            “I’d never raise another person’s child.”  Then Primula and Drogo died.

            “I’m not afraid of the dark!”  Well, not until the Horncall of Buckland announced the presence of fell Big Folk assaulting the new home of her young cousin Frodo, the first indication evil had discovered the sheltered land of the Shire.

            “I’ll guard my children’s safety.”  But then to learn that Merry, Frodo, Pippin, and Sam Gamgee had together helped to save the world....

XVII.  Cue:  Stereotypes.  Hobbits:  helpless, innocent, weak

A Hot Meal Anticipated

            Boromir looked about.  “The little ones--where are they?”

            Aragorn, repairing a ripped bag, shrugged.  “Seeing to our meal,” he said.

            The Gondorian raised his eyebrows.  “No one helps them?”

            At that moment Pippin and Merry returned with loads of wood, and soon after them arrived Frodo with a string of fish and several filled waterbags slung over his shoulder.  “The stream has more fish than I’d thought to see this time of year,” he said.

            When Sam arrived with two grouse, a rabbit, and a bag of root vegetables, Boromir had to admit the Hobbits were not precisely helpless.

~o0o~

Experience

            “They acquitted themselves well in the fight by the tomb,” Boromir commented as they watched the three younger Hobbits fussing about an increasingly irritated Frodo.

            Aragorn nodded.  “They killed seven orcs among them,” he agreed.

            “But Frodo slew none.”

            “He stabbed Sting into the troll’s foot.  And he’s bested a barrow-wight and stood defiantly against the call of all of the Nine.  Could you do as well?”

            Boromir shuddered.  “Against all of them?”

            “Indeed, and while he yet carried the shard of a Morgul knife within him.”

            Perhaps Frodo Baggins was not as innocent as he appeared at first glance.

~o0o~

Relative Strength

            Why he kept baiting Frodo Baggins this day he could not say, but at last the Hobbit had enough.  With no warning Frodo tackled Boromir’s legs and bore him to the ground, catching his hand easily and twisting it behind the Man’s back.  “Sir,” he said through clenched teeth, “I grow tired of the constant jibes at my expense.  I may be small, but I am not to be belittled.”

            Later as they watched Sam and Frodo between them pull the struggling pony out of some soft marshland that had appeared deceptively solid, Aragorn smiled.  “Hobbits are not exactly weak.”

XVIII.  Cue:  Future or current leader grinning as someone wakes

Waking on a Winter Morning

            Tap, tap, tap!  Frodo woke groggily, trying to figure out where he was.  Oh, yes--Rivendell.  His dreams had been very confusing.  He’d been lying in a boat, running water cooling the wood under him, the hilt of the broken sword from the barrow clutched in his hand.

            He blinked and looked out the window.  Aragorn stood on the balcony smiling.  He must have returned in the night!  Frodo rose and opened the door----

            ----Splat!  Thwack!  Thud!

            Sam, Merry, and Pippin each managed to get him squarely with a snowball thrown expertly past the Man’s side.

            “Payback!” exulted the future Thain.

XIX.  Cue:  Three pearls of wisdom.

Thoughts to Live By

            “Words of wisdom?  Oh, my heavens!  What a thing to ask!  Let me think!  Well, first, always remember that it never pays to leave a live dragon out of your reckoning.  I learned that well enough, there at the Lonely Mountain.  And you sometimes have to study to identify who and where the dragon is.  Second, never confuse fearlessness with courage--too often not being afraid is really a sign of rank stupidity and an appalling lack of imagination.  Real courage is doing what needs to be done in spite of your fear.  And third, always carry several pocket handkerchiefs.”

o0o

            “Oh, Cyclamen, be grateful for every day you have with those you love, for we never know when we might lose them.  Let your family and friends never doubt your love for them.  Second, don’t ever be afraid of going beyond the borders of your own lands, for I’ve learned that the world is filled with wondrous beauty, always new things to delight in, new people to get to know, new ways to be amazed at.  And never fall to believing, as I did, that you need to do it all yourself, or even that such a thing is possible.”

  o0o

            “I learned so much on the quest.  I learned that given time and the need to depend on one another even the greatest of prejudices can be overcome.  Look at how Gimli and Legolas have come to be such close friends in spite of their initial mutual disdain for one another!  I’ve learned that no matter how much time one spends with others there is always still more to be learned about them.  And I learned that each has his or her own part to play, and to trust them and the Powers to see what must be accomplished done.”

XX.  Cue:  Unprepared

Don’t Know as I’m Ready for This

            “You decided as what you’re goin’ to say, Sam?”

            “And when’ve I had time to write a speech, Rosie?  It was a fool thing to do, runnin’ for Mayor.  Don’t know as why I let Mr. Paladin and Old Flour-dumpling talk me into it!”

            She gave a lopsided smile.  “Well, Mr. Peregrin and Mr. Meriadoc, they’re all for it, too.  Can’t say as they’ve not been pushin’ you as much as the Thain and the Mayor.”

            “True, that.  Not what most Hobbits of the Shire’d vote for me anyways.  I mean, it’s not like I’m more’n a gardener, after all.”

XXI.  Cue:  A big storm

Cleanup

            Saradoc Brandybuck looked about the Hall lands as far as they could be seen.  Roof tiles were missing from most of the outbuildings, and one had been flattened by a nearby tree that had given up its hold on the earth.  Limbs had breached the rail fences of the main paddock and two of the pony fields.

            Turning to the Hall, he counted at least eighteen damaged shutters and half as many broken windows--and that just on this side!  At least the few injuries suffered had not been life-threatening.

            Well, repairs were better than deaths any day, he decided.

This particular storm is described in “Second Mum,” and is patterned after the Thanksgiving Storm that struck western Washington in the early nineties.  I’ve lived through many windstorms in my day, but that was the only one I’ve experienced when power was out for more than a few hours--we went without power for four days, and that was in spite of the fact we lived in town.  We were fortunate--some rural regions suffered major breaches to dikes as well as flooding of the rivers, and were cut off for up to two weeks!

XXII.  Cue:  Breaking one’s word.

Foresworn

            The mercenary Thorongil had been delighted to find an intellectual equal in the Steward’s heir.  They swore brotherhood one night after together repulsing assaults by orcs and Dunlendings on the borderlands in Anórien and then enjoying a convivial evening over a bottle of fine wine while exploring the local lord’s surprisingly interesting library.

            “One day I will take you to meet my family,” he’d promised.

            “I will hold you to that!” Denethor answered.

            However, suspicions of Thorongil’s intentions, motivations, and lineage had widened the rift between them caused by Denethor’s growing envy.

            No, friend, I will never take you home.

XXIII.  Cue:  Sacrifice

Encounter

            What seek you, Amandil?

            “I beg mercy on my people.  Sauron deludes them with lies and empty promises!”

            They know that what he does in his temple is evil.  They know that to follow the will of Pharazôn will bring naught but destruction upon them.

            “Sauron has taught them to fear death.  Please, help my sons to bring him down from the high place he has built for himself!”

            Númenor must accept the consequences of its choices.

            “Please, Lord Ulmo--I offer myself for the safety of at least the Faithful!”

            A pause.  Gently, Then come.  Thou shalt not suffer.

XXIV.  Cue:  Quote from another book.  “I hain’t dead yet!”  Granny Weatherwax, the Diskworld series by Terry Pratchett. 

Frodo is not yet seven, Ham is ten, and Half is about six.  Dedicated to VeryScaryCarnival.

A Rude Awakening

            Halfred came to find Frodo and Hamson down on the Row.  Breathless, “Come quick!  Dad!”

            They followed him up into the gardens of Bag End.  Beneath the hedge lay the Gaffer, still in the summer heat.  “I think as he’s dead!” Half whispered.

            “What d’we do?” Ham asked.

            “Dead things should be buried,” Frodo assured them.

            They filled the barrow with compost and began to cover the still body.  But as his mouth and nostrils began to fill, Hamfast Gamgee started up, coughing.

            “Fools!” he choked, “I hain’t dead yet!  Can’t I have a nap if I’ve a mind t’such?”

XXV.  Cue:  Childhood memories

I Remember...

             What do I remember from my childhood?  When my parents died?  Yes, I remember that.  I wish I didn’t.  No, what I remember best--happiest--from my days in Buckland was finding a dingle of violets, near Crickhollow and the High Hay.  Purple violets and white butterflies with but the slightest tinge of green to the edges of their wings.  They were so striking against the blooms!  Beautiful!  I tried so to get those colors with my paints.  I thought the fairies must come there to dance among the flowers and that beautiful scent, with the butterflies weaving about them....

XXVI.  Cue:  The teacher

Hard Learned Lessons

            “I don’t see your concern, Frodo Baggins--it’s standard language for this kind of contract, assuring there is good water for the smial, and that the hill is sound and proof against flooding.  And of course one needs proper shutters----”

            Frodo’s agitation could be told by the fact it was his wounded hand he waved.  “But this contract calls for proper thatching.  What hole requires thatching, or two wells?”

            Bard and Hillie exchanged glances.

            The deputy Mayor continued, “This is how Lotho was able to avoid paying for the place--by holding the Sweetwaters to the letter of the contract.”

XXVII.  Cue:  A legacy of a trunk.

Hope Fulfilled

            Primula Brandybuck Baggins was burned into the top of the old chest.  One last time Frodo opened it, went through the contents, handling each tiny garment his mother had designed, woven, embroidered, worked with hooks or needles or lace bobbins:  blankets, shirts, gowns, caps, tiny mittens....

            His mother had called it her hope chest, and in it she had placed the items she had crafted for each of the children she’d conceived.

            Four times her hopes had been dashed, and he would leave no children of his own.  He smiled.  These would nevertheless clothe the children of his hope.

            “Sam!”

XXVIII.  Cue:  Favorite Month - April

Spring of Memories

            The King led his Queen through the site where the Army of the West had rested at Cormallen.  “The healers’ tents were there, and the pavilions set for the captains and lords of the host here.  And the Ringbearers were housed apart, in this grove of beeches.  All worried that they might not waken again.  But it was a year ago today they did so.”

            They looked down.  Within the grove athelas was growing in profusion.  “Only when they awoke did we feel for certain that the spring was indeed come.”

            The wonder of it still shone in his eyes.

XXIX.  Cue:  Wrongful accusation

Presumed Guilty

            Peony Burrows continued her tale.  “Esmeralda has been all through Bag End, looking for that locket her father gave her, but can’t find it anywhere!”

            Lobelia leaned to speak confidentially, “Well, if you ask me, that Frodo took it to comfort him for coming away from Brandy Hall.”

            Esmeralda, seated beyond screening plants, gave her cousin Frodo a glance.  Yes, he’d heard it, too--his face was deathly pale and his cheeks bright with embarrassment and fury.

            He raised his voice deliberately.  “Let’s go through the chest you brought, Aunt.  It may have fallen in.”

            Lobelia jumped slightly with surprise.

XXX.  Cue:  Misunderstood

This is written to fit in with situations and relationships described in “Second Mum” and “The Acceptable Sacrifice.”

Accusation

            The four Travelers looked up as Fred Oldbuck stopped by their table.  “Here you are!” he said loudly.  “Ran off and left us in the lurch--left us to the mercies of Lotho Sackville-Baggins and Marco Smallburrow and those Big Men!  Then the deputy Mayor sends folks to go through my store, looking for things Marco hid there.”

            He leaned over Frodo.  “Where were you when my family was being threatened?”

            But suddenly his eyes fell on the hand Frodo had wrapped about his beer mug, on the gap in his fingers.

            Merry glared, declaring, “He was saving the world.”

XXXI.  Cue:  Yesterday or tomorrow?

The Debate

          When this began I still had choices, although several I had put off for consideration until I felt more certain....
          More certain of what?
          I still had hope.  I had my innocence, and even ambition.
          The quest took my innocence, my health, my peace of mind.

          There is no going back.

          Why do I think there is a choice?  There is only tomorrow, after all--the choice to live or die--tomorrow...

today.

          So--stay or go?  Stay with my life ending as abruptly as my ring finger, or go and at least--maybe--the chance to find my hope again?