Due to a change in work schedule, the following story was written in the morning.  That is not the normal writing time for this author so when you read this, please remember, normally the author can't even make a two-word sentence before eleven am or so.  In other words, this story is probably riddled with mistakes and may not make any sense at all because the author was probably sound asleep when it was written.  *Is there such a thing as sleep-writing?

In fact, this prologue is *also* being written in the morning, so you can't really rely upon it to be accurate.  For all I know, this prologue may just be a series of random letters and symbols.  It might not say anything at all. 

Just in case it does say anything,

The author really hopes that you are clever enough to know that all of the characters in this story are the creations of J. R. R. Tolkien.  The author is not making any money on any of this.  (The typos included in this story and this prologue, are the property of the author but no one is going to pay for those now, are they?  One can only be grateful for the fact that the person writing this has a job doing something which is not writing.  She won't starve, but none of her food money comes from this sort of thing.

This is meant to be a Happy Birthday fiction for Dreamflower, so Happy Birthday, Dreamflower!  This isn't very original but it is sincere.  So, I sincerely hope you have a great day!  Now, quit reading this and go eat cake or something!

GW        07-01-2009

More Than He Bargained For

“Pippin, you look exhausted,” Frodo observed.  “What have you been doing?  Shouldn’t you still be in bed at this hour?”

Pippin, who had been sitting on the floor with his back against the sofa in the Bag End parlour, got to his feet with an energy that Frodo wouldn’t have guessed the lad possessed judging from his appearance.  “I just decided to sit up for a while.  I wasn’t at all*yawn*sleepy,” Pippin declared making an effort to hold his eyes open.  This only had the effect of making him look a bit like an owl and did nothing to make him look wide awake.  “How was your evening*yawn*out, Cousin?” Pippin hurried on.  “Did you enjoy yourself at the Ivy Bush?  Were there lots*yawn*of folks there that you*yawn*know?”

“I had a very nice evening,” Frodo said, smiling at Pippin’s efforts.  “And, yes, I knew everyone there.”

“Oh!”  Pippin said, that owlish look still present on his face.  “Of course you did.  You know everyone in this area, don’t you?   You live here in Hobbiton and Bywater is very close*Yawn* to Hobbiton.”

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Frodo asked patiently.

“It’s nearly morning now,” Pippin observed looking toward the first rays of sunlight streaming into the parlour.  “It’s*yawn*nearly*yawn*time for first*yawn*breakfast.”  He blinked his eyes and allowed himself a very large yawn uninterrupted by his efforts to talk and he seemed to weave slightly from side to side as he stood there.

Frodo sighed and placed his hands firmly on the lad’s shoulders.  He began to steer him toward the sofa as he spoke.  “Pippin, it is still a while until first breakfast here at Bag End.  Unlike your home in Whitwell, we have no cow to milk nor eggs to gather and so we are able to sleep in a while longer.”  Frodo firmly pressed Pippin’s shoulders so that the lad was forced to sit down on the sofa.  “Why don’t you take a short nap and I will wake you when first breakfast is ready?”

Pippin was just about to fall forward onto the sofa when he snapped back up like one of those little toys with the rounded bottoms that faunts enjoyed playing with.  “I’m not tired, hon-*yawn*-estly I’m not, Frodo.”  He started to stand up but Frodo put his hands back on the lad’s shoulders and held him in place.

“You look very tired to me,” Frodo said gently.  “And you have been doing a great deal of yawning since I arrived.  I think a nap might be just the thing you need.”

“I can’t!”  Pippin objected.  “Not*yawn*now.  Merry isn’t back yet.  I can’t be asleep when*yawn*Merry gets here.  I just can’t!”

“Why not?” Frodo asked curiously.  “Did Merry ask you to wait up for him?”

“Well, no,” Pippin said slowly rubbing at his eyes as he spoke.

“Then I am very certain that Merry won’t mind if you take a short nap,” Frodo smiled.  “If you don’t, you’ll be miserable all day long.”

Pippin looked up at Frodo and objected, “No I won’t.  I promise.”

“Pippin, you know how cranky you are if you haven’t had any sleep,” Frodo reminded him.  “And I do not want you falling asleep in your morning porridge.”

“I’ve never*yawn*done that!” Pippin declared.  Then he yawned again.  “Are we having porridge?”

“The last time you stayed up this late, you put your elbow in Merry’s porridge and fell asleep sitting up,” Frodo said.  “It is very unappetizing to listen to someone snore while trying to have breakfast.”

“I don’t*yawn*snore,” Pippin said eyes at half-mast.

“Merry may not return for several hours yet,” Frodo said, patting Pippin’s shoulder.  “He went to the Green Dragon with Fredegar and Sam and the Cotton lads.  Sometimes, the Cottons and Sam will stay and have first breakfast at the Dragon.  They have a very nice morning meal there.”

Pippin stood up and backed away from the sofa.  “Merry has to come back sometime,” he said sounding almost desperate.

“Well, of course he’ll be back,” Frodo sighed.  “What are you worried about?  Merry is old enough to take care of himself.  He’ll be fine.  Even if he gets into a bit of a scrape Sam is with him.  You know how level-headed Sam is.  He won’t let anything happen to Merry.”

Pippin yawned and then frowned at Frodo.  “The top of Sam’s head is flat?  How will that help anything?”

“No, I didn’t mean,” Frodo groaned, explaining the remark while Pippin was only half awake would be pointless so he didn‘t even try.  “Never mind.  My point is that Sam is very responsible and Merry is old enough to spend an evening out with a few friends.  You can go to sleep and quit worrying about him.”

“If I go to sleep*yawn*then I can’t go with them*yawn*next time,” Pippin objected.  “I have to*yawn*stay awake or Merry says that just proves*yawn*I’m not*yawn*old*yawn*enough.”

“What exactly did Merry tell you?” Frodo frowned.

“Nothing,” Pippin said realizing that he might have said too much.  “But I’m not sleepy, Frodo.  You want to play draughts?” A very big yawn followed this announcement.

“I had planned to go to bed, Pippin,” Frodo said.

“Oh,”  Pippin looked a bit dejected.  “Well, maybe I’ll go for a walk.  It’s almost*yawn*light out.”  He turned toward the entry way and Frodo quickly stopped him.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Frodo said.  “I’ll not have you stumbling along the road to town and winding up underneath the wheels of a cart.  It’s important to have both eyes open if you’re going for a walk.”

“I have my eyes open,” Pippin said looking like an owl again.  “See?”

“Yes, I see,” Frodo nodded.  “Why don’t you sit down on the sofa and I’ll get the draughts?  If we are both going to be up all night then we might just as well have a game.”

“Splen*yawn*did,” Pippin said.

As Frodo left the room he watched his younger cousin stagger to the sofa and sit down.  Frodo went into the kitchen and put a kettle on for tea.  He did not look for the draughts which were on the table directly in front of the sofa upon which he’d left Pippin.  He waited until the water was ready for tea, removed the kettle from the fire and returned to the parlour.

Pippin was slumped over in a very uncomfortable position but he was sound asleep.  His head and neck were at an odd angle and one arm was twisted beneath his body.  His feet were both still stubbornly on the floor.  Frodo sighed and went into the nearest bedroom to retrieve some pillows and a blanket.

He managed to force a pillow beneath Pippin’s head, get his feet onto the sofa, and cover him with a quilt.  He then pulled the curtains over the windows to block the morning sun and returned to the kitchen.

Frodo was having tea and toast when Merry and Fredegar came in about an hour later.  “Good morning, lads,” Frodo said.  “Did you have a nice evening?”

“It was very nice,” Fredegar said eyeing Frodo’s toast with interest.  “Is that the jam that Merry’s mum makes?”

“It is,” Frodo said.  “Sit down and have some if you like.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Fredegar grinned and he joined Frodo at the table.  Merry seemed to be looking around for something.  Fredegar took a couple of pieces of toast from the plate and began to coat them liberally with jam.

“Join us, Merry?” Frodo asked noticing that Merry had moved over to the kitchen doorway and seemed to be listening for something.

“Oh, we had a very big breakfast at the Green Dragon,” Merry said.  “I think I’ll just go on to bed.”

“No, I don’t think that would be wise,” Frodo said casually.

“Why not?” Merry frowned.

“There’s a great deal to do this morning and I’m going to need your help, Cousin,” Frodo said taking a sip of tea.

“I don’t envy you that, Merry,” Fredegar sighed.  “I’m completely exhausted from our evening out.  That Sam Gamgee and Jolly Cotton are quite the pair.  They can out-last me any time.  I’ll be heading off to bed as soon as I’ve finished my toast.”  He yawned and looked at Frodo.  “Is my room involved in your plans for today?”

“Oh, no, Freddy,” Frodo smiled.  “It should be nice and quiet in your room.  I’ve left your things exactly the way you had them but I’ve put some fresh towels on the table and refilled your water basin.”

“You are the perfect host, Frodo,” Fredegar beamed munching on the last of his toast.  “If it is one thing dear Bilbo can be proud of, it’s the fact that you’ve continued the fine tradition of gracious hospitality which he also offered to all of his guests.”

“Why thank you, Fredegar,” Frodo smiled.  “It is very kind of you to say.”

“Why don’t I just take a small nap before we begin, Frodo,” Merry asked.  “In the interest of gracious hospitality, naturally.”  Merry yawned.

“I’d agree to that but unfortunately we’ll be on a rather tight schedule today,” Frodo said standing.  “First you’ll need to get these dishes done and while you are doing that,  I will make out the to-do list for the day.”

“List?”  Merry blinked.  “There’s going to be a list?”

“I’ll just leave you lads to it then, shall I?” Fredegar said and he quickly left the room.

“Oh, yes,” Frodo said opening a drawer underneath the counter and removing a slate and some chalk.  “A long list, I’m afraid.”

“I don’t recall us discussing this yesterday before I went out,” Merry frowned looking more cross by the minute.

“We didn’t,” Frodo said sitting back down at the table and placing the slate before him.  “But since you are so full of energy, I think this is a fine time to get a few things accomplished.  Other than Sam, I don’t normally have much help here at Bag End and as you know, I gave Sam the morning off so that he could enjoy the evening with you, Freddy, and the Cotton lads.”

“I’m honestly not full of energy,” Merry said, walking over toward the table and pulling out a chair.

“Don’t sit down, Meriadoc,” Frodo objected.  “There isn’t time.  You can start on the dishes while I make my list.  The day is getting away from us and before you know it, it will be time for second breakfast.”

“Day?  Frodo, it’s just barely light out,” Merry objected.  

“With all we have to do, the quicker we get underway the more chance we have of completing my list,” Frodo said brightly.  “Now, you’d best stack the dishes and get started on the washing up.”

Merry stood staring at his older cousin stupidly as Frodo began to work on his list.  “Why are we doing this today of all days?  Frodo, I was up all night and I’ve had more than a bit of ale.  I doubt I’ll be much good for anything today.”

“I am sorry, Meriadoc,” Frodo said not looking up from his list.  “But with Sam off for the day and Bag End full of guests there’s much to be done.”

“Frodo, *I’m* one of those guests or have you forgot that?” Merry asked looking decidedly put out.

“No, I’ve not forgot,” Frodo smiled.  “You, Freddy, and Pippin are all my guests.  Now, start those dishes.  I want those out of the way before you to go to the market for me.  It should be opening soon.  I’d like to have fresh eggs for my guests and we need some flour and more tea.  Oh, and honey!  I’ll make a list for the market too, of course.  Hurry, Merry, we're burning daylight!”

“Another list?” Merry paled."Burning daylight? Who says things like that?"

“This list is the things that we will be doing today,” Frodo explained.  “The other list will be the things that we need from the market.  I’ll need to get a quill and some parchment for that list.  Can’t have you strolling about the marketplace with a slate in your hand now can we?”

“Strolling about the marketplace?”  Merry groaned.  “Frodo, it’s hardly fair of you to keep me up all day long doing your bidding when you know perfectly well that I’ve just returned from a night at the Green Dragon.  And, might I say, you encouraged us to go and even gave Sam the day off!  Shouldn’t I get the same consideration that Sam has received?  I, after all, am family.”

“Speaking of family,” Frodo smiled getting up from the table.  “I had a pleasant evening at the Ivy Bush while you were out.  In fact, I left before you did if you’ll recall.”

“I am well aware of that, Cousin,” Merry sighed.  “It is precisely why I am so surprised that you’d plan anything at all for today.  I realize that the crowd at the Ivy isn’t as wild and there wasn’t likely as much drinking but you still had a very late night.  At your age, I should think you’d appreciate a nice, peaceful day.”

“At my age?” Frodo arched his brows.  “Why Merry, I am hardly in my twilight years just yet.  As you may recall, Bilbo could still sit up longer into the night than most hobbits half his age when he left the Shire.  We Bagginses are a hardy group.  You need not worry about me.  I’ll rest when all of the work is done.”

“Well, I’d like a bit of rest before the work,” Merry objected.  “I’m not a Baggins.”

“No, that’s very true,” Frodo smiled.  “But you are only twenty-five and so I should think you’d be able to keep up with someone as long in the tooth as I am.  I’ll just get a quill and parchment for your shopping list while you begin the dishes and Merry?”

“What?”

“Do try to keep it down.  We don’t want to wake Freddy or Pippin, do we?”  Frodo smiled.

“Pippin!”  Merry said, light dawning.  “He’s behind this, isn’t he?”

“No, he isn’t,” Frodo frowned.  “Why would you think that Pippin would have any interest in the upkeep of Bag End?  I’ll  wager that he will be pleased to wake up and find that you’ve been to the market but I doubt he will notice if you’ve curried the cart pony or done the washing.”

“The washing!”  Merry howled.

“I said, don’t wake everyone, Meriadoc,” Frodo frowned.

“I thought Sam’s sister, Daisy usually did your washing,” Merry objected.

“I’m going to give her the day off too.  With you here to help me, I think it’s a good time to give Daisy a rest.  She’s earned it.”

“What do I look like, your personal servant?” Merry objected.  “I’ll be completely exhausted by the time you get through with me.”

Frodo took Merry by the arm and led him into the parlour.  He pointed toward the sleeping form on the sofa and then frowned at Merry.  “Very much like the state in which I found your young cousin when I returned from the Ivy this morning.”

Merry sighed and returned to the kitchen.

Merry was elbow-deep in soapy water and dishes when Frodo came back with the market list.  “I didn’t think he’d really sit up all night,” Merry said.

“Come now, Meriadoc,” Frodo said.  “You know him better than anyone in the Shire.  Of course you knew he’d attempt it.”

“But I thought he’d get bored and just doze off,” Merry said placing a clean dish on the pile to his right.  “I knew he’d be here on his own without any entertainment and so I figured he’d just slip off to sleep in spite of any effort he might make.”

“Well, it would seem that you miscalculated,” Frodo said.  “He fought sleep and managed to remain awake until I arrived.  He even challenged me to a game of draughts in his effects to remain awake.”

“I know better than to underestimate him,” Merry sighed.  “But he doesn’t normally entertain himself well.  I thought he’d run out of things to hold his interest.”

“If the prize is worth the struggle then Pippin can put up quite a fight,” Frodo said.  “I didn’t really question him too much because he was just barely able to form a sentence by the time I arrived but I gather that you led him to believe that if he could remain awake until you returned that he’d be permitted to go to the Green Dragon with you and the others the next time.  Is that about it?”

“That was it,” Merry sighed.  “You slipped out ahead of us and left us to talk our way out.”

“I had already set forth the ground rules before I left,” Frodo said.

“Yes, and in spite of that, Pippin made every effort to get Freddy and I to set new ground rules,” Merry said.  “He insisted that he’d behave if we took him along and that he was more than able to keep up with us.  I pointed out that he would probably fall asleep at the table before midnight.  That is what made me think of the bargain.”

“So, to make leaving him behind go smoother, you told him,” Frodo prodded.

“I told him that if he could stay up all night and was still wide awake when I arrived home, he could go to the Green Dragon with us the next time,” Merry said.  “I may have gone a bit too far.”

“You certainly did,” Frodo said.  “You offered him something that he wants badly and you gave him the incentive to push himself beyond his limits. Furthermore, you offered him something that you've no right to permit.  You do not set the rules here.”

“One sleepless night won’t hurt him,” Merry objected.

“No, but I was not about to spend the entire day with a grouchy, sleep-deprived, seventeen-year-old Took,” Frodo said.  

“So instead you plan to work me until I’m not fit to be around?” Merry asked.

“I plan to give you a small taste of what you gave Pippin,” Frodo said.  “The difference will be I don’t plan for you to have time to become bored and drop off to sleep.”

“He’s asleep now,” Merry objected.  “Where’s the harm?”

“The harm would have been if he had managed to make good on his end of that bargain,” Frodo said.  “I don’t know about you but I do not want to keep up with Pippin in the Green Dragon for an evening during all of the drinking and singing and more than that, I DO NOT want to explain to Paladin Took why I had his youngest child at the local pub all night.  That is a conversation to be avoided at all costs.”

“Uncle Paladin is too stern with Pip,” Merry said.

“You may discuss that with him if you’d like but I tend not to meddle in the raising of other folks’ children,” Frodo frowned.  “They normally don’t appreciate the help.”

“Still, you have to agree that a few hours at the Green Dragon wouldn’t hurt Pip,” Merry insisted.  “I went when I was seventeen.”

“As I have said,” Frodo repeated.  “You may discuss that with your Uncle Paladin if you’d like.  I will keep my opinions to myself.  I enjoy Pippin’s visits to Bag End.  If I do not adhere to Paladin Took’s rules for his son then I suspect that Pippin will not be allow to visit me.”

“I understand your point,” Merry sighed.  “Now, can we just go to bed?”

“No, we cannot, you can finish the dishes and while you’re at the market, which should be opening any minute now, I’ll be gathering the wash,” Frodo said.  “And, Merry?”

“What?” Merry sighed.

“The next time you decide to find a clever way to avoid making Pippin follow the rules, I hope you’ll give some thought to this,” Frodo said.

“If I live long enough,” Merry groaned.

******

“Frodo,” Pippin whispered.

“Yes, Pippin?” Frodo asked.

“I think Merry’s fallen asleep with his face in his plate,” Pippin frowned.  “He’s getting gravy all in his hair, Frodo.  Should I wake him?”

“No,” Frodo whispered.  “Just finish your meal.  I’ll get Merry to bed afterward.  He’s had a long day.”

“Frodo?”

“Yes, Pippin?”

“Is Sam coming over tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Frodo said.  “He will be working in the garden.  Why do you ask?”

“No reason,”  Pippin shrugged taking a bite of bread.

“Pippin?”

“I won’t say anything but I just want to look at the top of his head,” Pippin whispered.  “I never see it since he’s taller than me but if he’s bent over weeding the garden I might be able to have a quick look.  I promise not to say anything to him.  I’m sure he can’t help it and it wouldn’t be polite.”

Frodo looked confused.  “You promise not to say anything to Sam about what?’

“You know,” Pippin hissed.  

Merry made a snoring sound and shifted slightly in his chair causing a bit of gravy to drip onto the table and Pippin grinned.

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” Frodo said as he wiped up the gravy with a surviette.  

“You are the one that told me but I promise I’ll not say a word about it,” Pippin insisted.  “I just want to see it.”

“See what?”  Frodo asked a bit too loudly, but Merry slept on.

“The top of Sam’s flat head.  How flat is it?  I’ve never known anyone with a flat head before.  Do you suppose that if Sam wanted to he could set a full glass of milk on his head?”

Frodo sighed.  It appeared that he would need to explain the difference between level-headed and flat-headed to Pippin.  He would do that tomorrow after a good night’s sleep.Right now, he had to scrape gravy off Merry's face and get him to bed.  That was more than enough work for one night.

The End

GW        07-01-2009