Where does the Ranger go at dawn
When songbirds sing to greet the morn
And decent folk all plant and sow?
Where does the Ranger up and go?

He creeps down ways where few now go
To seek out things that shouldn't grow
And when there are no more to know -
He'll turn and tickle you on your toe!

Where does the Ranger go at noon
When sunshine whistles a merry tune
And decent folk all dance and play?
Where does the Ranger go all day?

To search out trolls who daylight shun
And happily heave them out in the sun
And when that tiresome task is done -
He'll turn and tickle you on your tum!

Where does the Ranger go at e'en
When all is safely gathered in
And decent folk come home to rest?
What does the Ranger then do best?

He seeks out things that wake from sleep
Savage wargs you'd best not meet
And when he's soundly got them beat -
He'll turn and tickle you on your feet!

Where does the Ranger go at night
When the land lies cold in the pale moonlight
And decent folk lock up their door?
Where does the Ranger go once more?

He walks the road to that land of black
Where orcs await to stab and hack
And when he's foiled their last attack  -
He'll turn and tickle you on your back!

So don't begrudge mud on your floor
And turn the Ranger from your door
But call for ale and drink his health
For he might just be the King himself.

But do not think he would not try
To track you down as in days gone by
And use his craft to sneak and spy  -
And tickle you, tickle you 'til you cry!!