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Two journal entries in the hand of Lothíriel of Dol Amroth, speaking to the men in her life and of the nature of home.
Meduseld
I love my new husband and my new life, but I miss you, Father, and I miss the sea. I miss the smell of salt and water-weed and the clean, sweet taste of spray on your skin when you come to kiss me goodnight. I miss the singing of the waves that I did not even realize accompanied my steps as I danced through my days. I miss the curling, plunging froth of foam where you taught me courage and to trust myself. I will trust myself, and know that this is the current that flows through my life. I am sometimes a little melancholy at low tide, when the receding breakers leave me feeling stranded on alien ground. Sometime my star falls, blazing, from the sky and lies trapped in the tidal pools, searching for shade and longing for the deeps. But though the waters of Belfalas have ebbed, the waters of The Mark have rolled joyously in. Before too long, my husband’s arms will surround me, lift me like a wave and offer me the depths of sky or sea, whichever will fill my need for home. And every day, I willingly fall again, to feel myself lifted by that wave.
I have spent much time before the hearth, holding my brother’s new baby, watching my father’s face glow and laughing at tales of childhood adventures. I have been sharing warm wine and eating mussels from the shell, savoring the taste of the sea on my lips, knowing that if you were here, you would kiss me to share the taste — not wanting to have the cold, wet morsel in your own mouth. At night the sighing of the surf sings a sweet lullaby that reminds me of the winds that whisper about our windows when you stoke the fires and blow the candles out… and especially when you do not. I have loved this shared time, the linking of arms and hearts that keeps a family strong. But now my heart cries to be with you, and the sky and the sea join in the longing. I cannot remember so many storms in a season since the summer that Grandfather died, when every day the sky would cover the tears on my face with its own. I miss you, beloved, and rejoice that soon I will turn my craft and steer for the safe harbour of your heart and our home.
October 18, 2003
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