Chapter Eleven

Legolas sat unmoving. His mind was reeling just as Elrond had suspected. Grief exploded in his head, as if his mother’s death had just occurred. And, his father... How could he come to terms with the fact his father had hidden the truth from him for almost all of his life? What must the others think? He shook off the thought. It didn’t matter. They were his friends and would wish only to support him. This he knew.

There were expressions of shock from those around the table, except for Elrond and Glorfindel, who had always known the truth about Legolas's mother. They had been there. alfter all. What they hadn’t known was that the young prince had never been told.

Along with the shock were expressions of deep sympathy. Just as Legolas believed, everyone wanted only to help him cope with the revelation. But, they were at a loss as to how to go about it. Only Thranduil seemed lost in his own thoughts and memories.

Suddenly Legolas could stand it no longer. He had to get away. The elf stood up from the table quickly, pushing the chair back as he rose and almost tipping it over. The scraping noise the chair made as it slid across the stone of the floor was the only sound, and it almost seemed to echo around the large room. Without looking at anyone, the blond elf turned and hurried out of the dining hall.

It wasn’t until he had left the room that he began to run. He paid no attention to where he was going, just letting his feet carry him away, as his subconscious guided him. His soft shoes made not a sound on the carpeted hallway. Walls, doors, furniture and elaborately framed paintings went flying by as he rapidly sped down the corridors.

He half expected to end up in the garden where he could gain comfort from the trees and the flowers that he loved so much. But, to his surprise, he found himself running down the hall toward his room. He would have had to go up two flights of stairs to get there, but he remembered none of it.

Legolas entered his room, closed the door and slid the bolt into the hole in the sturdy door frame. He realized now that’s why he had come here. He could lock himself in and no one could get to him. The garden, while large and comforting, was confined by surrounding stone walls, and he would have been, if not easily found, then certainly eventually so.

Legolas threw himself on his bed. He wanted to empty his overwhelmed mind and numb a body that ached and had become drained of strength. He wanted blessed nothingness to envelop him. But, to his consternation, the shocked, raw feelings remained, and his body shook with emotion.

Yet, through it all, he couldn’t cry.

~*~*~

Downstairs in the dining hall, no one had yet spoken. The silence was beginning to get on Aragorn’s nerves. He felt a great sadness for Legolas, and at that moment, a great dislike, bordering on hatred, for Thranduil, despite the obvious pain the woodland King was in. He decided it was time for the comforting support he was determined to give his friend.

Besides, if he stayed any longer, he knew he would say something that he would later regret, though he couldn’t imagine anything he could possible say that King Thranduil would not have thoroughly deserved. More than anything, he didn’t want things to get any worse between Imladris and Mirkwood because of any careless, heated words spoken by him.

Aragorn finally said, “I’m going to find Legolas.”

Elrond shook his head and regarded his human son with a large measure of sympathy. “I know you want to help him, Estel, but he probably needs to be alone right now.”

“No, Ada. That’s exactly what he doesn’t need. Trust me in this. I know him.” With a sad smile for his brothers at leaving them in the current situation, Aragorn walked out of the room.

He headed directly for the garden, sure that’s where the woodland elf would head in this time of great stress.

Elrond looked at Thranduil, who chose that moment to look up at him. “I know what you are going to say, Elrond. I handled all of this rather badly. I kept the secret about Legolas's mother from him, and now he is terribly upset.” He sighed deeply. “He may never forgive me for this.”

“He will forgive you, Thranduil, though I think he will be hurt and angry for a while to come.” In an effort to give a measure of comfort to the unhappy elven King, he said, “What you did was simply an error in judgment. Legolas will come to understand that.”

“I know my son has a good heart, and a large one, but this involves his mother and what he perceives as betrayal on my part. It may not be so easy for him to forgive, even if he does understand.”

The twins looked at each other and came to the same conclusion at the same time, as they often did. There was obviously no more information forthcoming on Mordraug, and whatever was to happen with Thranduil and their father was none of their business. They decided to leave the three elder elves to their discussion.

“Ada,” Elladan said, “Elrohir and I think it best, if we leave now. We will see you in the morning.”

They each bowed in respect to all present, gave their farewells and left. They made a beeline for Elladan’s room, where they could talk about the recently revealed events.

~*~*~

In Legolas's room, the elf heard his name being called out in the garden. *Estel is looking for me.* He sat up and sighed. When he wasn’t found there, he knew the ranger would be coming to his room. He almost wished he had gone to the stables, gotten his horse and ridden out of Rivendell. But, he knew that would only cause everyone to worry, sending out search parties and fearing for his emotional health. That’s the last thing he wanted to happen. He didn’t want to spread his misery to anyone else. *Even my father*, he thought, as a feeling of sympathy momentarily flashed across his mind. That feeling soon reversed itself. *It would serve him right.* He was far from ready to forgive his father for his deceit. With an effort he pushed all thought of Thranduil from his mind.

Legolas heard his name called several more times and then nothing. He knew Estel would be on his way here, so it was not the least surprising, when a few moments later, he heard a soft knock at the door.

“Legolas, it’s me, Estel. Please open the door.”

There was no answer from the elf. He wanted to be alone, but if he expressed that fact, he was sure it would only encourage Estel to be more determined to try and get in.

“I want to help you, mellon nin. Please let me in.”

Still no response. Aragorn knocked once more. After a silent moment, he put his folded hand up to knock yet again, but this time he paused in mid-air. He opened his hand and placed his palm flat against the wood. “Legolas,” he said softly.

Legolas was determined to be alone, so Aragorn knew that he was evidently not going to gain entrance. He was still convinced that was not the best thing for the elf right then, but there didn’t seem to be anything he could do about it. He didn’t feel rejected. He only felt a sadness that he wouldn’t be allowed to try and help the troubled elf.

Just as he turned to leave, he heard the bolt on the inside of the door being pulled back. There was no other sound, and the door did not open. Aragorn cautiously opened it himself and stepped into the room. After quietly closing the door, he reshot the bolt.

Turning around, he was greeted with the sight of Legolas, sitting crossed-legged in the middle of his bed. Severl crystal globes containing burning candles were sitting on tables and cabinets all around the room, emitting a soft golden glow. They had been lit by servants while he was downstairs. It was a nightly ritual they performed for all the residents of Elrond’s house, so no one ever had to return to a dark room. More unlit candles were in evidence, so the room’s occupant could adjust the amount of lighting, as he saw fit.

Silently Aragorn approached the bed. He saw Legolas's shoes sitting by the bed and knew his friend was barefoot, a fact he couldn‘t visually confirm, since the elf‘s feet were tucked under his thighs.

Aragorn took his own shoes off and then climbed on the bed. He seated himself cross-legged in front of the archer with their knees barely touching. It was the only physical contact between them.

In a soft voice, Estel said, “What you just learned about your mother and about your father keeping that from you has to be devastating. I won’t try to tell you that you shouldn’t feel the way you do or that everything is fine. In fact, I won’t say another word, if you don’t want me to.” He hoped the elf would open up and talk to him, but he didn’t think that would happen. He wasn’t disappointed.

All Legolas did was nod. Silence descended between them and lasted for almost half an hour.

Legolas spent most of that time with his head bowed, staring at his hands, which were resting in his lap. He then began tracing the leaf pattern on the bedspread with his finger. After a while of doing this, he turned his head and looked at the balcony for several minutes

Suddenly, he said, “Have you ever noticed that the golden light from a candle will always push the moonlight away but never the other way around?”

Aragorn was only mildly surprised by the subject matter his friend had chosen to comment on. He had had a feeling that, when the elf decided to say something, it wouldn’t be about what was really on his mind. Legolas seemed to have the need to lead up to it, and Estel was going to let him do just that.

The ranger looked out toward the balcony and saw that the candle light was shining out through the doorway rather than the bright moonlight shining into the room. “I never really thought about that, but you’re right. As bright as the moonlight can be, it can never outshine the light that represents the day.”

Legolas made no more comment.

After a few more minutes, the elf looked directly at Aragorn and said, “Mordraug killed my mother, Estel, and she died a horrible death. Then my father, whom I trusted, deceived me, and I never knew any of it. How stupid does that make me?”

“Oh, no,” Aragorn said sharply. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for any of this. You were too young to know what had happened to your mother. Thranduil is your father. Of course, you would trust him to tell you the truth. It is in no way your fault that he didn’t. You put all that guilt right out of your head.” He reached out and put his hand behind Legolas's neck and shook him gently. “Do you understand me?”

Legolas nodded, but he didn‘t looked too convinced.

Aragorn didn’t think he had ever seen a look of such pain in the archer’s eyes before, and he had been with him during some terrible times. He moved his hand from Legolas's neck and put it back down on his own knee.

“How could my father have not told me something like that? She was my mother.” The tears were so close.

“Let it out, Legolas. It isn’t a weakness, I promise you,” the man assured, knowing how stubbornly independent the elf was. *Please, my friend,* the ranger begged to himself, *let the dam break and ease the pressure in your mind*.

Aragorn’s silent plea was answered. It took only seconds for Legolas to rise up onto his knees. The ranger quickly uncrossed his legs and did the same, enfolding the elf in his arms. He heard not a sound, but Aragorn felt the elf’s slender body shake with wrenching sobs. Rubbing Legolas's back, Estel patiently let his friend’s tears run their course.

After several minutes, the sobbing stopped, but Legolas made no move to disengage himself from the ranger’s grasp. He was so still and quiet, Estel thought for a second that he may have fallen asleep from sheer emotional exhaustion, though he knew it was unlikely. For one thing, the elf’s body was still somewhat tense, not totally relaxed.

Legolas finally pulled away and sat back down, crossing his legs once again. He wiped his tear-stained face with the sleeves of his silk shirt. He turned red eyes on the human. “Thank you, Estel. It seems there is no end to the things you are willing to do for me.”

Aragorn smiled. “I’m happy to do anything I can to ease any burdens you have. You’ve certainly done that for me on more occasions than I can count.”

“That is what friends are for.”

“Exactly,” Aragorn agreed. “Do you feel any better now?”

“I do.”

“Is there anything else you wish to say?”

The elf shook his head. “My father and I will have to get this sorted out. I think we can, but it will be hard. I am not up to dealing with any of it right now. I am very tired.” That was a rare admission from the normally energetic elf.

“I’m not surprised. You look exhausted.” He grinned, as Legolas looked at him with a ‘thanks-so-much’ expression.

Aragorn got up and reached around behind Legolas and pulled the covers down until they reached the elf’s back. “Scoot back.” Legolas did so. He then slid his legs down under the covers. Reaching both hands behind his head, the elf undid his hair in back, leaving the side braids intact. He ran his fingers through his long hair and then shook his head to loosen the silky strands.

After Legolas lay back on the pillow, Aragorn pulled the covers up to his chest. “Sleep,” the ranger commanded, emphasizing the word by pointing his finger at the elf. “We’ll deal with whatever we have to tomorrow.”

Legolas smiled. He had not missed the implication of the ‘we’ in Estel’s comment. He knew beyond a doubt that the man would be with him in whatever was to take place, not just the next day but in the days and weeks to come. It was a comforting thought, because he was well aware of what may lie ahead. In truth, he wasn’t even close to the reality that awaited him.

Aragorn went around the room and blew out all of the candles. By the time he had reached the last one, beside Legolas's bed, the elf’s eyes were closed, a clear testament to his exhaustion. The man put his hand gently on the elf’s head. “Rest well, mellon nin. Do not dream about your troubles.”

Aragorn walked across the room toward one of the chairs near the door. He sat down and glanced to his right. He smiled to himself. Legolas had been right. Now that the candlelight was gone, the moonlight shone in through the balcony doorway.

He didn’t intend to stay there all night. He just wanted to stay long enough to turn away anyone, especially Thranduil, who might knock at the door before the household settled down to sleep. No one was going to disturb his friend this night.

Fifteen minutes later, the ranger was sound asleep.

TBC