Chapter Forty Eight

Aragorn stared at his friend with his mouth open. The words the elf had just uttered were ridiculous. He was about to say that very thing, when the look in Legolas’s eyes stopped him. There was a deep sincerity in those blue-gray eyes, looking back at him. Whatever the truth really was, Legolas believed what he had said. That was evident.

Legolas did not see absolute disbelief in the ranger’s eyes, but he had the feeling that the man was having trouble accepting what he had just heard. How could Legolas expect anything different? The admission was a hard one for the proud elf. Feeling somehow ashamed, he lowered his eyes and turned away.

Aragorn grabbed Legolas’s left arm and tried to pull his friend back around to face him, but the elf would not be turned. The man then stepped around in front of Legolas and grabbed his right arm. Holding on to both of the elf’s arms, Aragorn said, “You are not going insane, Legolas.”

The archer snapped his eyes up and with fire blazing in their depths, he said, “You cannot know that.”

“But, I do know that. We have just spent the last half hour together, and you were not exhibiting any signs of...” he paused, searching for the right word to convey his meaning. He finally decided to just say the word he was thinking. “Insanity. In fact, I was just thinking a few minutes ago that you were back to your old self.”

“You do not know what has been happening,” said Legolas firmly, again averting his eyes from his friend.

“Then, suppose we sit down on that bench right there, and you tell me just exactly what has been happening,” Aragorn said just as firmly. He hated to sound so harsh, but this elf was exceedingly stubborn, and it sometimes took a no-nonsense attitude to get through to him, especially when he was trying to hide his true feelings.

It occurred to the ranger that whatever was wrong may be intensely personal and none of anyone else’s business. There certainly were things in his own life that were for his knowledge only. The idea that maybe he should not press Legolas to expose his troubles lasted for all of half a second. The elf was in great distress, even to the point that he believed he was losing his mind, and as his best friend, Aragorn was determined to help, if it was within his power to do so. And, he believed it was.

After a moment, the elf nodded. He let Aragorn lead him to the wooden bench the ranger had just vacated. All the while, the man held onto Legolas’s left arm in an effort to keep contact with him and perhaps prevent him from changing his mind about revealing his troubles.

They sat facing each other. “Now, tell me what has happened that has you believing you are going insane.”

Legolas looked at the large oak tree sadly and then turned to look at his friend. With only a slight hesitation, he said, “Mordraug is back.”

For the second time in a very short while, Aragorn stared in shock, his mouth dropping open yet again. He closed it and shook his head. “Mordraug is dead, Legolas, killed by his own snake. We told you about that. He cannot be back.” The words were spoken gently, obviously attempting to be reassuring, but Aragorn was well aware that those words were actually saying that Legolas did not know what he was talking about. He winced but did not attempt to try backtracking.

“You do not understand, Estel,” the elf said insistently. “He is not here physically. He has returned in spirit.” Legolas looked at his friend but could not bear to say what he had to say while looking at Estel. He knew that the man would give his life for him. He would fight anyone or anything to protect Legolas from harm. Yet, this situation was so far-fetched, he couldn’t help thinking that Aragorn would simply tell him to go to his room, lie down and rest and then all of his hallucinations would be gone. He couldn’t bear that kind of pity, especially from his best friend. He realized that, more than anything, he needed Estel to believe him. “The dark elf is in my head. His spirit has invaded my mind, worming his way in so deep that I cannot push him out.”

Aragorn struggled to maintain an even expression. It would be so easy to tell Legolas it was just his imagination, considering what he had been through, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The sincerity was still there in the elf’s eyes. Legolas was so desperate to be believed that Aragorn simply had to go along with it until he could figure out the truth of it all. Otherwise, he knew he could lose the elf’s confidence. That could not be allowed to happen, so he didn‘t ask why Legolas would think that. He replaced the word ‘think‘ with the word ‘know’ and asked, “How do you know this?”

Of all that he had said, this was perhaps the hardest part for Legolas to say. “He talks to me, Estel. I know that sounds crazy, which is why I believe I am going insane. He mocks me and laughs at my attempts to deal with him. Even the trees know he is here.” He pointed to his head and then looked again toward the giant oak. “Just now, when I touched it, the tree shuddered and cried out in fear. It senses the evil within my mind. They all do,” he said, as he swung his hand around to encompass the surrounding trees.

Aragorn frowned and so did Legolas. “Hearing myself say these things makes me realize how implausible it all sounds. Which is worse, thinking I have a dead elf’s spirit in my head or actually having one there?”

The question was a good one. Unfortunately, Aragorn had no answer for it. Instead of offering a possibly lame reply, he asked, “What does he say to you?”

Legolas looked down at his hands, as he twisted his fingers together. He felt so young and vulnerable, not at all like the strong, courageous warrior that he and others believed him to be. The fact he was confessing to someone he knew cared deeply for him was the only saving grace he could find in the current situation. Yet, he still could not be sure that the man fully believed Mordraug was real and not imagined.

“He tried to turn me against my father and all of my friends here in Rivendell. He told me my father had abandoned me, when he left for Mirkwood, and that I am a needy burden to all of you here. He says that you all want to be rid of me.”

Anger flashed in the man’s eyes. “You know that is not true!”

“I know. I tried to argue with him, but what he says is so insidious, he makes me doubt myself. His words crowd out my attempts to fight him. I know that I am still recovering from what he did to me before, so I am weaker, and that makes me susceptible to his words. He constantly calls me little prince or princeling to demean me. He says that and other things he knows will upset me, and I feel powerless to combat him. I also tried to ignore him, but he is very insistent. He will not be ignored.”

“You were so happy here in the garden. You must have done a good job of ignoring him.”

“If only that were true. He told me he was leaving me alone. I challenged him, but he did not respond. When I did not hear from him for a while, I thought he truly had left. I fell for his lies and thought I was rid of him, How gullible does that make me?”

“One thing you have never been, Legolas, is gullible.”

“Until now.”

“Until never,” Aragorn declared.

The elf seemed not to hear his friend’s last declaration and instead continued with his own line of thought. “The splint on my foot was removed, and I thought I was truly free again. First, walking with Elenblaith and now being here with you has been so wonderful and carefree. Then, the tree sensed Mordraug’s evil, and he began talking to me again, and...” He let his words die out.

*Keep going, little prince. You are doing so well. You almost have him convinced I am really here.” The word ‘almost’ seemed to echo through the elf’s mind.

Legolas grabbed his head again. “Shut up! Shut up!”

Aragorn put his hands on Leoglas’s shoulders. “He is talking now.” The elf nodded and the man felt himself flush with anger. It hadn’t occurred to him that he wouldn’t be feeling such a strong sense of anger, if he didn’t believe what Legolas had told him. “What does that bastard want?”

*Tell him I want him to take pity on you. Tell him I want them all to laugh at your weakness. After all, can you think of anyone weaker or more in need of pity than you?*

“Leave me alone!” Legolas became so upset he could no longer sit still and listen to the dark elf’s abusive accusations. He got up and started running, When he came to the end of the pathway he was on, he swung to his right, heading down that path. He had no destination in mind. He just wanted to outrun Mordraug’s voice.

The elf’s sudden departure had taken Aragorn completely by surprise, but he recovered quickly and ran after the elf. “Legolas! Please stop, mellon nin. We can fight this together.”

*You do not trust your friend, do you? You know he will pretend to help you, while mocking you behind your back.*Estel would never do that,* the elf yelled defiantly in his mind, as he moved down yet another path.

*Then, why are you running from him?”

Legolas stopped dead in his tracks. Why was he running from Estel? He knew the ranger wanted only to help him deal with this unbearable situation. The elf screamed out loud in frustration. Mordraug was making it impossible to think clearly. Was this the true nature of insanity?

By then, Aragorn had caught up with him. “Legolas, we can figure this out...together.”

“He will not leave me alone, Estel. He cannot be driven away.”

“He hasn’t come up against the two of us working in tandem, now has he? And, there is my father and my brothers, as well as Glorfindel. That evil creature has no chance against us all.”

A mocking laughter sounded in the elf’s head. Though Mordraug did not speak, the message was clear.

“Listen to me, Legolas. We can overcome Mordraug. He did not physically survive our last encounter; his spirit will not survive this one.”

*Perhaps, you should warn him that if he, or anyone else, tries to get rid of me, I will kill you.* As proof that his threat was very real,a blinding pain shot through the elf’s head. It was so sudden and so agonizing that it drove Legolas to his knees. His head spun with a dizziness like none other he had ever experienced.

Aragorn grabbed the elf just before his knees slammed into the stone pathway. “Legolas! What...?”

“Mordraug,” the elf managed to gasp, as he leaned heavily against his friend, trying to right a world that was swiftly whirling around him. His breathing had increased until he was almost panting. “He has threatened me with death, if you try to help me,” Legolas managed to get out between breaths.

The impact of Legolas’s words stunned the ranger. He had clearly not been expecting that. He had come to accept without doubt that the Avari was indeed speaking to Leoglas’s mind. But, the sudden physical agony that his friend had just experienced told him plainly enough that Mordraug was more than just a disembodied voice. He could inflict pain, though how that was possible, Aragorn had no clue. He just knew that there was a strong possibility the dark elf could make good on his threat to kill Legolas, if anyone tried to get rid of him. It was an incredible and frightening thought but unfortunately, an apparently viable one.

Legolas’s stomach seemed to be whirling as fiercely as his surroundings, and he found it hard to both breathe and swallow back the nausea, at the same time. Despite his aversion to throwing up, he knew that breathing was the priority of the two, and so he continued gulping air into his lungs. If the nausea produced results, then so be it.

Aragorn had wrapped both of his arms around the elf’s shoulders and held him tight. Gradually, as Legolas’s need for air lessened toward a normal level, the ranger eased him down into a sitting position. “Has Mordraug ever done this to you before?” he asked, as he freed one hand long enough to pull Legolas’s hair out of his face and smooth it down his back.

The archer, not quite able to put a voice to the answer, yet not wanting to incur further dizziness, carefully shook his head. He was not sure if his body was going to be forced to give in to the nausea. He sat up straighter, trying to take extra pressure off of his midsection. Just as his breathing slowed down to a relatively normal level, the world also slowed down, and his stomach began to settle. The pain in his head was now just a relentless throbbing but nowhere near what the pain ha d been just moments ago.

Aragorn released his tight hold on the elf but did not let go of him altogether. Noticing Legolas‘s less pained expression, he asked, “Are you feeling better?”

Legolas nodded. “The attack is over.”

*For now, princeling. But, I can make your body betray you any time I choose, just as I did when you had my pet’s venom coursing through your veins.*

Legolas groaned and closed his eyes. He well remembered the attacks he had suffered, first in the hall outside of Thranduil’s room here in Rivendell and again in the valley forest. He did not believe that Mordraug could now inflict the same kind of agony that the venom’s fire and ice had done before, since the poison was gone, but this attack had been more than enough to convince him of the truth of Mordraug‘s words.

Aragorn was beginning to think the same thing. What could he do to help his friend? “We must tell my father, Glorfindel and the twins,” Aragon reasoned. “Together we can find a way to rid you...”

Shaking his head, Legolas opened his eyes and looked at the ranger, affectively stopping him in mid-sentence. “There is no way, Estel. Mordraug will kill me. I know this. His plans were thwarted before, when he could not destroy my father. He will make sure that I pay instead.” The elf looked forlorn. “I must deal with this myself, Estel.” A horrible thought occurred to him, though whether is was his own or Mordraug’s, he knew not. “He might force me to harm one of you, if any of you interfere.”

*Oh, that is very good, little prince. I was just about to make you aware of that particular prospect. No one must interfere!* The last sentence was spoken with a ringing vehemence that could not be denied or doubted.

“You would never allow him to make you do such a thing. Your will is too strong.” Aragorn spoke with the same intensity.

“That is what I would have believed. But, you do not know the power Mordraug has on my mind. He is breaking my will down. I do not know how long I can hold out against him.”

Aragorn started to argue the point further with Legolas, but he realized that anything he said would be rejected, or at least doubted by the elf right now. He also realized that whatever else he said would be heard by the dark elf. The man was determined to talk to his family about all of this. However, anything he and his family might discuss with each other on the matter had to be done without Legolas present. Whatever plan they came up with would have to come as a total surprise to the Avari in order for it to work.

Aragorn didn’t want to say anything that would upset Legolas, but he couldn’t bring himself to just let his friend’s last statement go without a response. “I have faith in you, Legolas.”

Legolas wasn’t sure he had faith in himself, but he was not going to risk upsetting his best friend further by saying that, so he kept silent. He tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it. Instead, he squeezed Estel’s arm to acknowledge his appreciation of the ranger’s words of confidence.

Aragorn asked, “Are you able to stand?”

“Yes,” Legolas replied, and he was helped to his feet. He had no idea how he was going to deal with Mordraug now, but he knew it could not involve any of his friends. If he was killed, because they tried to help him, they would all blame themselves. Estel, he was sure, would be the worst. The man tended to take on the burden of guilt any time he could not accomplish, to his complete satisfaction, any goal he set his mind to. This situation would be no different.

Legolas sighed. He prayed to the Valar that he would be able to conquer this demon elf in his head, though at the moment, he had no idea how that could be accomplished. Otherwise, he knew, there would be no hope for him to have any kind of a normal life. He would just have to suffer alone while he tried to deal with Mordraug.

The elf almost let out a bitter laugh to think that if he truly became insane, he likely would not suffer. After all, wouldn’t he then think that having a voice in his head was perfectly normal?

TBC