Chapter 18. Of Tea and Talk

They rode in silence the rest of the way to Whittacres, the farm belonging to Pippin’s family. It had always been Paladin’s farm as long as Ferdibrand could remember. With a shock he realised that, of course, with Paladin’s death the farm passed to Pippin as eldest son. Had Pippin remained disinherited, the property would have passed to Pearl, but Paladin on his deathbed had owned his son once more. Somehow there was no lifetime lease in a series of leases tying this land to the Thainship, and the land was held by the family free and clear. Ferdi wondered how that had been managed.

They arrived just about teatime, to a barking of dogs and shouts from children. A buxom hobbit matron exited the smial, wiping her hands on her apron, her face beaming to see the riders.

 ‘Pip! Ferdi!’ she called. ‘Ah, but it has been too long.’

Pippin laughed and slid from his saddle, running to embrace her. ‘Pearl!’ he said. ‘Too long indeed! Why haven’t you come to the Smials to celebrate the return of your long-lost brother?’

 ‘O now, Pip, you know better than that! If it hasn’t been the lambing, it’s been the planting, and if it hasn’t been the planting...’

The children gathered round, eyes wide. ‘Children,’ Pearl said. ‘This is Thain Peregrin, as you’ve been told about.’ An older lad offered an awkward bow to his uncle and then led their ponies away to the barn.

 ‘Uncle Pip?’ one of the smallest squeaked. ‘How can Uncle Pip be Thain?’

Pearl crouched to address the wee mite. ‘When Grand-da died,’ she said, and wiped a tear from her eye, ‘well, he wanted Uncle Pip to be Thain after him, and so your uncle returned from Buckland to take up the reins.’

 ‘Pretty ramshackle waggon I’ve found it to be,’ Pippin said, and Pearl hushed him.

 ‘Not before the children!’

 ‘Pearl, there’s no Lalia to be gathering grudges these days,’ Pippin said. ‘The waggon needs paint and repairs, and the ponies pulling it aren’t much better off. That’s the truth of the matter.’

 ‘Well,’ Pearl said, shooing the children and raising her voice, ‘Go wash up now! Tea’s on!’ Once they were gone, she said in a lower tone, ‘But Pip, you oughtn’t say such things, not even if you’re Thain.’

Pippin rolled his eyes at Ferdi. ‘Keep up appearances at all costs,’ he muttered as they walked into the smial. ‘The boat leaks, but if we paint it a bright colour someone’ll surely hire us to ferry them over the River.’

Ferdi felt a bit queasy at this picture. ‘Rather, the pony is spavined, but we’ll braid his mane with bright ribbons and no one will see how he goes.’

Pippin laughed and slapped him on the back, for which he gave his cousin a pained look in return. ‘Still not in your good books, eh, Ferdi?’ Pippin whispered.

Ferdi retreated to one of Regi’s favourite retorts. ‘None of your nonsense, now, Pip.’

Entering the parlour, Pippin greeted the hobbit sitting there. ‘Isum!’

Isumbold, former head of escort to Thain Ferumbras, raised a hand in welcome. ‘Pip!’ he said, ‘and Ferdi! I’d heard you were head of escort now. I don’t envy you the job!’

Ferdi smiled but Pippin laughed heartily. ‘Don’t you know it,’ he said. ‘He lectured me all the way here about my duty not to slip the escort anymore.’

 ‘No, we’ll leave that up to your son,’ Isum said lightly, and nodded significantly as Pippin’s face changed. ‘Aye, you didn’t think of that, now did you, little brother?’

 ‘Isum!’ Pearl said, and her husband winked at her.

 ‘He must be awfully tired of all the pomp and protocol by now,’ he said. ‘You may be yourself here, Pip, any time you wish to relax and feel as a regular hobbit again.’

 ‘I might just move in, bags and baggage,’ Pippin said, sitting down in the chair Pearl indicated.

 ‘Where are you going?’ Isum called as Ferdi turned away.

 ‘I just thought...’ Ferdi said.

 ‘You thought you’d take your tea in the kitchen,’ Isum said, ‘but you’ll not so long as I’m head of this house-hole! We hobbits of the Thain’s escort need to stick together!’

 ‘You’re head?’ Pippin said in amusement, with a sidelong glance at Pearl.

 ‘He is,’ Pearl said firmly.

 ‘I’m “head”, and she’s “heart”,’ Isum said, holding his hand out to Pearl. ‘And I’d get nowhere without her!’

She smiled and leaned to kiss him, then straightened and said, ‘We’ll have tea ready in three shakes, see if we don’t!’ She bustled out and singing was heard in the kitchen.

Pearl and a procession of giggling lasses brought trays with tea and cups and plates of biscuits, while a small army of lads lined up before Isum for inspection. ‘Hands!’ he said, and these items were presented. Isum looked them over, sent one lad back for another wash, and dismissed the rest to their seats.

Tea was a merry affair, with lively talk and laughter. Ferdi sat and listened for the most part, but Isum knew how to draw him out with questions, and made him laugh out loud at least once with his imitation of a pompous Took.

When tea was over and the children had been sent out to do the washing up or other evening chores, Isum leaned forward in his chair. ‘What news do you bring?’ he said.

Ferdi put a hand to his pocket, then glanced at Pippin. The Thain laughed. ‘You may give him the message, Ferdi, though I’m here to flesh out the details for him.’

Ferdi rose and brought the message to Isum, who took the paper and waved him back to his chair. Ferdi perched on the edge, uneasy. It was not his place to be sitting here, with the family, as business was conducted. He was only a hobbit of escort, after all, and he didn’t see much escorting needing done at the moment.

Isum scanned the few lines within and looked up. ‘Sheep worrying?’ he said. ‘How bad?’

Ferdi gave a start as Pippin began to explain the pattern of attacks. Why, the first had been the day of Tolly’s wedding! He thought of the flurry of messages that had flown between Tuckborough and outlying farms since they'd returned from the wedding, especially in the direction of Sunnybanks.

Isum noticed. ‘You didn’t know,’ he said, and then to Pippin. ‘Your head of escort didn’t know about the worryings? You’ve kept him and the rest of the escort busy seeing to the delivering of messages to farms, but you didn’t bother to tell them why?’

He caught Pippin at a loss. ‘I...’

Isum leaned forward again, his expression stern. ‘It is one thing to minimize the Talk,’ he said, ‘to keep close counsel, but the hobbits of your escort ought to be knowledgeable about dangers...’

 ‘Dangers to sheep!’ Pippin said. ‘My father taught me...’

 ‘Yes, Paladin was one who hated the Talk with a passion,’ Isum said, taking the hand that Pearl held out to him for reassurance, ‘and for good reason, but he used it to his advantage more than once just the same.’

He looked again at Ferdi. ‘Besides,’ he added, ‘I’d trust Ferdibrand with any bit of news. Why, I doubt he’d tell his father what was for tea if the old hobbit didn’t need to know.’

Pippin laughed, and Isum turned back to him. ‘Yes,’ he said, addressing Pippin’s earlier question. ‘Not just dangerous to sheep.’ His hand tightened on Pearl’s. ‘Dogs together in a pack can be as vicious as wolves, Pip. Were you to strike out on foot, on a picnic with your family, just Diamond and the little lad...’

Pippin opened his mouth to speak and shut it again. Ferdi’s hands convulsively grasped his knees at the vivid picture that rose in his mind and he had to force himself to relax. ‘I see your point,’ Pippin said at last with a glance at Ferdi. ‘At any rate, this pack of dogs have been too clever for us. They didn’t strike where hunters were watching, and they ranged farther than we thought they might last night, so I don’t think it’s just local dogs out for a run at night.’

 ‘A pack of strays,’ Isum said. ‘What had they been living on, before they hit on sheep?’

 ‘Deer, most likely,’ Pippin said, ‘and other game. The shirriffs have found signs...’

 ‘Two shirriffs?’ Isum said, and whistled. ‘That covers quite a bit of territory. Have you sent warning to all the hobbits in the area?’

 ‘I did,’ Pippin said, and Ferdi nodded, thinking of all the messages that had gone out the day before. None had been important enough for Ferdi to take himself, but he’d been busy running back and forth between the Thain and the stables to send out lads with folded letters bearing the seal of the Thain.

 ‘It seems you’ll have to mount a hunt,’ Isum said, ‘if they won’t conveniently come to you.’

 ‘They haven’t ranged this far, have they?’ Pearl said, thinking of her children playing in the fields in the Sun’s light, and of the lambs under the Moon with their mothers.

 ‘No, not even as far as Tookbank,’ Pippin said, ‘but if Tuckborough’s sheep are too well guarded they may fare elsewhere to find food and sport.’

 ‘We’ll set night watches,’ Isum said, ‘and warn the neighbours to do so as well.’

 ‘My thanks,’ Pippin said. ‘I don’t want a whole-sale panic, mind. No wild talk about a pack of giant wolves invading the Shire. We’ll have hobbits shooting at shadows before you know it.’

 ‘Dogs,’ Isum said. ‘Stray dogs.’

 ‘Well, then,’ Pippin said, rising. ‘We must be off, but I thank you for the tea.’

Ferdi rose hastily and bowed to Isum. The latter smiled. ‘Don’t let Pip lead you a merry race,’ he said.

Pippin laughed. ‘He’ll do his best to beat me,’ he said. ‘Who’s your money on?’

 ‘I think I’ll bet on you both,’ Isum said. ‘At least that way I’ll win, either way.’

They took their leave from Isum, who could not rise from his chair to see them off. Pearl walked them out to the yard, where one of Pippin’s numerous nephews held the reins of their waiting ponies. He bowed again to his uncle, a little more smoothly this time.

Pippin returned the bow, and the lad’s eyes widened. ‘I’m “Uncle Pip” to you, my lad, and do not forget it,’ he said conspiratorially. ‘None of this Thain nonsense when I’m here on the farm, do you understand?’

The lad nodded, recalling adult conversations overheard. ‘I do, Uncle Pip,’ he said.

 ‘Good lad, you’ll go far,’ Pippin said, and mounted. ‘Coming, Ferdi?’

  ‘I’m right behind you,’ Ferdibrand said, stepping up into his own saddle. They rode out of the yard to the tune of an old travelling song sung by Pearl and the children.