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Bathtime Blues

by Lily Frost

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Chapter II: Roofs and Roses

        Elladan sat upright on the roof, for he heard someone trying to climb out the window. He looked down: it was his ada! Oh no! He was going to be caught and surely made to take a bath. Not having anywhere else to go, he resolved that it was best to get rid of the enemy directly, and with a whooping battle cry, jumped down onto his adar, still covered in mud, and together they went plunging down towards the foliage beneath, both screaming.

        There was a crash and snapping noises beneath the window. Glorfindel resolved that he would not look down... he would not look—ouch. Well, the elfling hadn't been harmed; Elrond had cushioned his fall. Shaking his pretty head, Glorfindel descended the stairs, unaware of the little figure that followed him on feet nearly as quiet as a hobbit's except for the squelch of mud.

        "Lord Elrond?" Glorfindel inquired. "Are you... uninjured?"

        " .... maybe... "

        "And you, Elrohir?"

        "Elladan."

        "Er-" Glorfindel squinted. It was difficult to tell which he was beneath all that grime.

        "Right. I think you ought to give your adar an explanation as for why you were on the roof."

        Elrond paused in extracting rose thorns from his arms.

        "He was going to give me a bath." The elfling said with utmost seriousness. 

        "And what, exactly, is wrong with a bath? I happen to rather enjoy them. Cleanliness is very important."

        Elladan looked up at Glorfindel, aghast at the idea of anyone enjoying a bath.

        "In fact—"

        Glorfindel was never able to finish what he was going to say, for just then there was a yell from behind him, "'Dan! This way! Run, before they get you!" And Glorfindel was nearly bowled over by a naked, still rather grimy, elfling who took his twin's hand and bolted towards the stables. He stared at the direction they had run off in, blankly.

        "Well, what are you waiting for? Go and get them!" Elrond grumbled.

        "Would you like me to fetch you... ah... some assistance first?"

        "I want you to get my sons before they run into the in-laws looking like that! Go!"

        "Yes my liege and lord!" Glorfindel made a mock gesture, a sort of salute, and started walking towards the stables.

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        The smell of horse manure penetrated everything. Well, it was a stable after all. And there was no sight of Elrond's Morgoth-spawn. Couldn't say that he hadn't tried, Glorfindel reasoned, and began walking away when he suddenly heard a giggle.

        Ears twitching, he followed the bell-like sound down towards the end, and peered into a stall. Then it came from across, another stall, and then from the hayloft. Then there was, oddly, a croak. He looked around, trying to figure out where these little noises were coming from. Then he heard a loud croak from "Fiery Fioner's" stall. Fioner was probably one of the most aggressive horses to ever come into existence, and without her master, Erestor oddly enough (the one elf she ever obeyed, though reluctantly), she was unpredictable and dangerous.

        Picturing Elrond's angry face if he failed, Glorfindel proceeded into the stall, cautiously. He didn't see the horse, and hoped desperately that she was taken out for a brushing or a walk. There was no sign of an elfling in the stall. There was just some hot, grassy breath on the back of his neck.

        Glorfindel very slowly turned around. "Oh shi—"

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        Elladan and Elrohir, laughing, came down from the hayloft, looking even worse with bits of straw and other things stuck in their hair and all over them. Elladan reached into the bottom of Fiery Fioner's stall and pulled out a small, warty looking frog. It croaked reproachfully at him and gave him an expression more suited to solitary puppies in boxes at fairs.

        They left the barn and stood outside for a little while. Elladan scratched himself furiously.

        "Try taking off the clothes... that way the mud will not harden between you and them and get all hard."

        Elladan took off his tunic as told, effectively matching Elrohir in their nakedness. They gave each other a huge grin, and started trekking nakedly onwards, indoors...

        "You!" A loud, angry voice called from behind them. They turned around and looked. "Get back here!" Called their ada's voice; he sounded very mad indeed.

        "Run, Elladan!" Elrohir cried, but he didn't need to, because his twin was already off. Together, they broke into a run.

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        "Lord Elrond—" Erestor said, but was cut off as said elf lord sped off, "Ah... I was told to inform you that the Lord and Lady of Lorien are awaiting your presence... but I can see that you are otherwise preoccupied."

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        To be continued...