5: Pimpernel, Pervinca and Pearl’s Perfectly Plotted Prank

Frodo 33, Pearl 26, Pimpernel 22, Sam 21, Merry 19, Pervinca 16, Pippin 11 (about 21, 16, 14, 13, 12, 10 and 7 in Man years)

Yule, 1401 SR

“We head for Bag End tomorrow,” Pearl said. “We’re all still resolved to do this?”

Pimpernel and Pervinca nodded earnestly. They were sitting on their beds in the dark, since they were supposed to be asleep, and they each had a determined look on their pretty faces.

“It’s far past the time Pippin and Merry get what’s coming to them,” Pimmie stated. She thought back on all the years of pranks the two miscreants had played on them, ending with that set of sparklers thrown into their bedroom window three months ago. The time for pay back had arrived at last.

Pervinca was instrumental to their plans. She was closest to Pippin in age and temperament and had even been a co-conspirator in some of Pippin’s ploys in the past. As a result, she also knew more about him, and therefore Merry, than the other lasses did. They would need that knowledge before the end. They needed it now, actually.

“You’re certain they’ll fall for it?” Pearl asked her youngest sister now.

“I’m certain that Pippin will. The only hitch will be Merry. He's visited Bag End far more often than he have. He might not be so easily convinced,” Vinca said.

They thought about this conflict in silence. This was a snag they had constantly run into while smoothing out the details of their plan: Merry’s superior knowledge of Bag End.

“But who knows Bag End better than Frodo?” Vinca said. Her sisters looked at her questioningly. She was answering her own silent questions again, but that also meant she was thinking and that was always a good sign. “We have to let Frodo know what we’re planning anyhow. If he’s willing to help us, he may know something that we could use. If not, his word alone should be more than enough to convince Merry.”

Pearl smiled wickedly. The plan had just been perfected. She could see it perfectly in her mind, and it was beautiful. “Let me speak with Frodo when we get there,” she said. “He enjoys a good game himself from time to time. And if he is not willing to help, well, there’s always Plan B.”

The lasses snickered amongst themselves. Yule could not come quickly enough.  

The round green door to Bag End swung open and out popped Merry. He had heard the carriage rolling up the hill and dashed out to greet his cousins, uncle and aunt. He and Pippin embraced fiercely and started chatting eagerly about the upcoming holiday. Frodo came out a few minutes later, followed by Merry’s parents. Once all greetings were made, Frodo showed everyone to their rooms.

Pippin of course would be rooming with Merry, in the room across from Frodo’s and next to Saradoc and Esmeralda. Next to them would be Paladin and Eglantine, and at the far end, in the room closest to the pantries, the lasses would stay.

The lasses smiled sweetly at Frodo when he brought in their luggage. For three lasses who would be staying only four days, they certainly packed a lot of clothes. There were at least two bags for each of them. He noticed also that the lassess were watching him closely, a strangely expectant expression on their faces. Frodo shook his head, both at the lasses’ odd behavior and at their excessive amount of luggage, as he closed the door behind him and made his way to the end of the tunnel.  

“I’m so happy Mum and Da agreed to this,” Pippin said as he bounced on the bed in his and Merry’s room. “Will there be a grand feast?”

“There always has been in the past, though they were never anything as spectacular as Brandy Hall or Great Smials,” Merry said. He had only spent a few Yule holidays at Bag End, but he remembered them all with perfect clarity. “Now that’s Bilbo’s gone, I don’t know what to expect. Frodo may have planned things differently.”

“Why don’t you just ask him?” Pippin asked. He bent his knees further and pushed up with more force. He was trying to jump high enough touch the ceiling and was convinced he was about to succeed.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” came an amused voice from the doorway.

Pippin abruptly stopped jumping and plopped down on the bed, which continued to waver up and down as it recovered from its abuse. Merry whirled around where he stood and grinned sheepishly at his cousin. Frodo shook his head and left the room, chuckling to himself. All his young cousins were in very strange or playful moods today. When he was halfway down the tunnel, he called back over his shoulder to all his cousins, “Time to wash up. Dinner’s ready.”  

After dinner, cooked with expert care by Esmeralda, the matrons and lasses set about washing the dishes. Frodo, Paladin and Saradoc went outside to smoke their pipes and take in the night air, while Merry and Pippin went into the parlor to start a fire in the hearth. Frodo was on his way to join them when Pearl cut him off.

“Frodo?” she said. “Could you help me locate something in one of the pantries?”

“Certainly,” Frodo said. “What do you need?”

“Shampoo,” she said. So Frodo went with her to the pantry and quickly found the requested item. He handed it to her but she did not take it. “Actually,” she said, “what I really need is your help with something.”

Frodo raised his eyebrows in surprise. This sounded like a conspiracy. Somehow, he had never pictured Pippin’s level-headed oldest sister as the conspiratorial type and he was curious to find out what this was all about. “With what?” he asked.

Pearl stepped closer to him and lowered her voice. “With justice.”

Thirty minutes later, she entered the kitchen, bottle of shampoo in hand. Her sisters looked at her inquisitively when their mother and aunt weren’t looking, and she smiled smugly. The board was set.  

“So what do you have planned for Yule, Frodo?” Merry asked later that night as everyone sat in the parlor by the fire, keeping each other company.

“Well, there’s a night social at The Ivy Bush every year that folk here greatly enjoy,” Frodo said. “I thought it would be fun to attend this year.”

In previous years, the job of finding fun things to do had always landed on Bilbo. Now that Frodo was on his own, he would have to shoulder that responsibility and he was worried about the prospect of having to entertain his guests for four days. He figured the social would be the best way to get through at least one of them and it would also allow his relatives the opportunity to get to know the residents of Hobbiton better. Maybe once they saw that he had friends here, they wouldn’t worry about him being on his own so much, even if he himself still wondered if he was up to the task.

Of course, at the first mention of a dance, the lasses were instantly intrigued. They started chattering about what to wear and did they bring the proper accessories. Merry and Pippin rolled their eyes at the talk and mocked the lasses’ conversation behind their backs. Frodo smiled and decided this was the perfect opportunity to put the lasses’ plan into motion.

“I just hope Bag End is still in one piece when we get back,” he said, feigning concern with expert ease. Everyone looked at him curiously. “I should have told you sooner,” he said apologetically, “but I was afraid if you knew, you wouldn’t come. You see, Bag End has a ghost.”

“A ghost?” asked Merry incredulously. “Since when?” Pippin looked at his eldest cousin with confusion and a hint of worry.

The adults raised their eyebrows, wondering where this was going and figuring it was just a simple ghost story to scare their children with on their first night at Bag End. As long as it didn’t get too frightening, they would sit back and see what kind of story Frodo had come up with. Most ‘ghosts’ were greatly known for rattling their chains, or making things go missing, or attempting to eat badly behaving children in their sleep. Frodo’s imagination was a little more lively than the average hobbit though.

The lasses were instantly enthralled. They had not expected for Frodo to get things started already, but they were ready. Pimpernel closely but discreetly watched Merry and Pippin to gauge their reactions, and Pervinca and Pearl prepared to make mental notes on everything Frodo said. Pearl had told him the basics of their plan, but she also said he could improvise whatever he needed to make the story convincing.

Frodo sat back in the rocking chair and managed the most convincing performance he had ever pulled in his life, and he had pulled quite a few. He drew his knees up to his chest, something he did only when he was truly in despair. This got Merry’s attention marvelously. Frodo then bit on his bottom lip, as though contemplating whether or not he should really go through with it and tell them the horrible truth. Finally, he sighed and squared his shoulders, but then hung his head so he wouldn’t have to look at everyone’s frightened faces when he was finished.

“All right,” he said at last. “You really do have the right to know and I’ll understand if you choose to leave.

“The ghost is fairly old actually, he’s been here since old Bungo excavated the Hill to build Bag End. In life, the ghost had been one of the workers who excavated the hill. One day, there was a horrible accident. They hadn’t placed enough support beams in the hole and it caved in, burying several workers. Everyone got out, except for one. He was trapped in the back, near where the bedrooms are, and he was suffocated. They eventually dug him out and carried him away for a proper burial, but his spirit never left.

“He haunts the whole Hill and mostly likes to spend his time down in Bagshot Row, since there’s more people there to haunt and have fun with. He’ll make sounds as if the earth is going to cave in and make the entire smial shake. He’ll go around trying to knock people off their feet, by pulling rugs out from under them or tripping them by some other means. If he’s feeling particularly vengeful, he’ll go and get an armload of dirt and throw it upon people while they sleep. He almost buried old Daddy Twofoot once. The old hobbit woke up just in time to save his nose from being covered in dirt.

“Every once in a while, the ghost will make his way back up here, usually around the anniversary of his death, which was in the spring. That’s why Bilbo was always so eager to come with me to your birthday parties Merry. Not that he didn’t enjoy seeing you and the family, he did of course, but it also got me away from the smial. He was terribly worried the ghost would try to do something horrible to me, as he has a penchant for young hobbit lads and I had chosen the room closest to where he died. Right where you two are, Merry.

“True enough, the ghost has never come up here for Yule before. As I said, he prefers to keep to where the people are. The more people he has to haunt, the happier he is. Unfortunately, the Twofoots are in Overhill this year, and the Goodloves are away, visiting their relations in Needlehole. Even Sam’s brothers were unable to come visit for the holiday. The Hill is entirely vacant but for us and the Gamgees, but as the Gamgees don’t keep rugs on their floor and we have plenty here…”

Merry laughed. “That’s rather convincing, Frodo, you almost had me going there for a moment. But I know for a fact that the Gamgees have rugs. I was down there last year remember, when May fell ill and you wanted to check on her.”

“Yes, they did have rugs then,” Frodo conceded, “until the ghost pulled one out from under the Gaffer last month and he nearly broke his hip. They removed all the rugs after that. Maybe I should put all my rugs away until you leave, even if that is tomorrow.”

“We’ll leave when we are scheduled to leave, no sooner,” Esmeralda said. What an intriguing story her young cousin had come up with. She almost half believed it herself.

After a while, the adults grew weary and called it a night. The lasses, turning their attention back to the dance, decided to go through their bags and start pulling together their attire. Merry and Pippin stayed up, though Pippin was falling asleep against Merry’s arm. Paladin had tried to take Pippin to bed early, but the youngster had refused to leave Merry’s side. Pippin didn’t want to admit it, but the story of the ghost had scared him and he didn’t want to go to bed until Merry was there to keep him company.

Merry sat and watched as Frodo went through the parlor and into the tunnel, pulling up all the rugs and folding them up. “Frodo,” Merry said. “Really, that isn’t necessary. I know it was just a story.”

Frodo turned and looked at his dearest cousin with a concerned expression. “Better safe than sorry. I am not going to give that ghost any opportunity to hurt any of you. Why don’t you take Pip to bed now, and try not to wake him.”

“I’m not asleep,” Pippin muttered in a barely audible whisper.

Shaking his head, Merry helped Pippin to his feet and led his young cousin down the tunnel to their room. 'Really, who did Frodo think he was fooling?' Merry thought as he tucked Pippin and himself into bed. 'Well, he didn’t fool me.'

He closed his eyes and was drifting off to sleep when a floor board creaked outside the closed door. He bolted upright, fully awake and alert, then chuckled as he realized it was just Frodo turning in for the night. He forced himself to relax again and snuggled next to his sleeping companion. “No, not me,” he mumbled as sleep finally took him.  

Sam Gamgee came to work early the following morning. He had a lot of people to cook for and wanted to get started early. He stepped soundlessly through the front door and padded silently into the pantry. After gathering everything he would need in order to make breakfast, he went into the kitchen and set everything down on the counter, then opened up a cupboard to pull out the necessary pots and pans. He plopped these down on the stove top and turned his attention to lighting the oven.

“Good morning Sam.”

Sam jumped at the unexpected greeting and whirled around with his hand over his heart to find Frodo standing at the kitchen door. “Lor' bless me, Mr. Frodo, but you gave me a fright, sir.”

“I’m sorry Sam. Here, let me help,” Frodo said, walking over to the oven to lend a hand.

“Oh, that won’t be necessary sir. I can manage just fine. I’m quite used to cooking for a large family,” Sam insisted and went back to lighting the oven. He wondered why his master was up so early but knew his place enough not to ask.

Frodo decided it was best to stay out of Sam’s way, but he didn’t leave. He had something he needed to ask Sam and he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. His servant was faithfully honest, and Frodo was reluctant to bring him into this prank of the lasses. The only reason he contemplated it at all was that he knew Merry would approach the gardener at some point today and Frodo wanted all the bases covered if possible.

“Sam,” he said after Sam had the fire lit. “I was wondering if I might ask a favor of you?”

“Certainly, sir. Anything you want,” Sam replied automatically.

“Let me explain first before you agree or disagree, Sam,” Frodo said with a smile. If there was one thing to be said of Sam it was that he was always willing to help, but Frodo could not accept his blind obedience on this and tried to make that clear. “This is a personal favor and has nothing to do with your normal duties, so you would be quite within your right to say no. I don’t want you to feel obligated under any circumstances to go along with it.”

“With what, sir?” Sam asked.

Frodo briefly explained everything, from Merry and Pippin’s sparklers to the story he made up last night. “I know Merry, and he’ll ask you if it’s true or not. I was wondering, if you did not mind, if you would go along with it and tell him that it is.”

“That’d be lying, Mr. Frodo,” Sam said uncomfortably. His gaffer would thump him good if it was ever found out that Sam lied to anyone, much less to one of his betters. Yet, how could he say no to his master and ruin his prank on top of it? “I’d have to think about it, if you don’t mind, sir.”

“Of course I don’t mind, Sam, I understand perfectly. I’ve been assured the lasses have a back up plan if this one doesn’t go through, so don’t worry about ruining anything,” Frodo said, almost as if he had read Sam's mind. He yawned then and stretched. He was up much earlier than his normal hour and could use a little more sleep. “I think I’ll go back to bed for a while longer. Wake me when everyone is ready to eat.”

Sam nodded and waited until he heard his master’s bedroom door close before he went back to his cooking. He had a lot of thinking to do.  

The lasses were already awake when Sam arrived. They were sitting on their bed and cots, busy finishing their dresses for the dance and plotting the next step of their prank.

“How are we supposed to trip them?” Pimmie asked. Frodo had really thrown them a bramble there, and it didn’t help that he had gone through the smial and put away all the rugs.

Pervinca had this covered however. “That’s easy. Water on the floor, or some other such thing will take care of that perfectly. They’ll try to talk it away as coincidental, and that’ll be even better. The more they try to convince themselves there’s no ghost, the more they’ll believe that there is one.”

“And I’ve already figured it out about the dirt,” Pearl said. “It’ll only be a minor alteration to our original plan. Phase two is today. We’ll have to be on the look out for a way of tripping them, nothing that will hurt them too much. We also need to look for something that will sound like the earth caving in.”

“Rocks,” Pervinca said. “Some rocks in a tin with some dirt. We can go outside their bedroom door and just shake the tin up and down.”

“And wake everyone else up while we’re at it,” Pimpernel countered.

“Then we’ll have to wake them. But that’s the least of our worries. What if Sam doesn’t go along?” Pervinca asked. She had the bedroom door cracked open and was listening to the conversation in the kitchen. “Frodo’s explaining it right now, but it doesn’t sound hopeful.”

“We’ll go to Plan B,” Pearl reminded them. “It’ll work just as well, and really is more fitting to the sort of thing they do.”

“No, it’s too simple,” Pimmie countered. “They’ll just think we’re joking and try to get back at us. That’s why we went to this plan. No, if this doesn’t work, we’ll have to go back to the drawing board.”

“Great,” said Pervinca. “Now Sam’s saying he’ll have to think about it. Pearl, you might have to go in.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Pearl said. “We’ll just stay close to Merry and Pippin today. When they approach him and if it seems like Sam isn’t going to go along, we can always barge in and interrupt the conversation. Now, let’s finish these up and try them on.”

The lasses nodded and returned to their dresses, closing the door just as Frodo stepped into the tunnel.  

“Sam! Just the person I was looking for,” Merry said as he strolled into the kitchen a couple of hours later. Pippin followed closely behind him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning Master Merry, Master Pippin, sirs. Did you sleep well?”

“Wonderfully,” Merry said, not at all interested in small talk. “Tell me Sam, I heard a rather unusual story last night and I was wondering if you could confirm it.”

Sam turned back to the oven and concentrated on flipping the bacon and sausages. “What story would this be, sir?”

“Oh, just some absurd story about a ghost in the Hill.”

“Absurd,” echoed Pippin. Now that it was daylight again, he found it easier to believe Merry when he said the story was just a joke. Imagine, a ghost in Bag End! They would have heard about it by now if it were true.

Sam didn’t turn around and kept his eyes strictly on the food as he answered. He hoped they didn’t notice his hands shaking, and he prayed desperately this wouldn’t get back to his gaffer. “He told you that sirs?”

“He did. But it’s not really true is it Sam?” Merry said with confidence. “I mean, I’ve never heard tell of it before and you would think something like that would be well known.”

“Oh, but it wouldn’t be, sir,” Sam said. “It’s harmless enough to make up ghost stories and tell them about the fireside. It’s quite another matter when there’s a real ghost, as you’ve got to be careful, see, or you might offend the ghost, and that’ll only make it angrier. No one except those as live there would ever know if a place was haunted, and the information should only be shared if absolutely necessary. If Mr. Frodo told you, it’s only because he believes there’s a danger.”

There, that hadn’t been so bad, and technically most of it was not a lie. The folklore in this part of the Shire did dictate that real ghosts were never mentioned near the areas that they haunted, and if anything odd happened, it was to be assumed it was just coincidence or bad luck. Plus, Mr. Frodo did believe that Merry and Pippin were in danger, just not from a real ghost.

Merry and Pippin were silent for several moments. Pippin was worried again and looking around the smial with suspicious, frightened eyes. Merry was skeptical. “Frodo got to you already, didn’t he?”

Sam removed the bacon and sausage from the skillet and poured in the eggs. “Mr. Frodo’s asleep, sir,” he answered truthfully. “I’m not supposed to wake him until breakfast is ready.”

“And when will that be?” Paladin asked as he and Eglantine entered the kitchen, with Saradoc and Esmeralda following them. They had missed all but the last two lines of the conversation. “That food smells delightful, Samwise.”

“We could have managed that, lad,” Eglantine said, “but it does smell wonderful. Frodo’s always bragging about what a good cook you are. I can hardly wait to eat it.”

Sam blushed to the roots of his hair, mumbled a thank you and stirred the eggs fervently. Within minutes, he gladly announced breakfast was ready and placed the food out on the kitchen table. Then he dashed off to Frodo’s bedroom, bumping into Pippin’s sisters along the way. They gave him silent looks of gratitude as they passed by, which Sam tried not to notice.

When he reached Frodo’s door, he knocked twice and entered. He went to the window and threw open the curtains and window. “Breakfast is ready, Mr. Frodo, and everyone’s awake,” he said in his usual cheerful voice. Then he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper and said, “I went along with it like you wanted sir, but I still don’t think it’s proper, begging your pardon.”

Frodo smiled and sat up. “Pardon granted, Sam, but only if you pardon me for involving you without getting your consent beforehand. That was terribly improper of me and I apologize.”

Sam nodded with a smile and stepped out of the room so his master could get ready for the day.  

The lasses waited until they were getting ready for the social to execute the second phase of their plan. They made sure their parents, aunt and uncle were occupied getting ready, then went into the lads’ room while the lads were washing up in the first bathing room.

Vinca had some water with a dash of oil in it. She poured some of this near the wardrobe and spread it out to a long thin puddle. Pimmie and Pearl busied themselves tying a brown piece of sewing thread around the bottom of the bed post and stringing it across the room to the desk. They made sure there was nothing in the way that would cause harm when their brother and cousin fell, then silently stepped out of the room and back down the tunnel. When everything was back where it belonged, Pearl went and banged on the bathing room door.

“Pippin, you better not be making a pond in there. Hurry up, us lasses still need to get ready!” she demanded in her most annoyed and authoritative voice. They heard some mumbling and murmuring inside. A few minutes later, Merry and Pippin came out, clearly not pleased about being evicted.

“It’s about time,” Pimpernel complained in turn. “We hardly have two hours now to get ready. What were you doing in there all this time anyway?”

“Just bathing,” said Merry, which was partly true. They were also going over any and all strange occurrences they could ever remember being witness to in Bag End over the years. They had been trying to decide if any of them gave merit to a ghost when Pippin’s sisters banged on the door.

“Well, I hope you remembered to get more water heated up,” Pervinca said. “We can’t afford to lose any more time.”

“We did,” Pippin said, annoyed now himself. Did his sisters really have to remind him about these things all the time? “And we dumped the old water and even brought out the clean towels. And see? We’re taking the old towels to the laundry bin.”

“Don’t get smart,” Pearl warned and the lasss went into the bathing room, closing the door soundly behind them. A few moments later, they heard the lads entering their room down the tunnel and smirked at each other. They would know soon if their plan worked.

Not more than a few minutes passed before the lasses heard the lads' cries of surprise, first Pippin and then Merry. Merry had gone to the bed to finish drying and brushing out his hair and Pippin had gone to the wardrobe to bring out their clothes. They didn’t have any formal suits with them, but they weren’t too worried about it. They simply picked out the best clothes they had with them, figuring that would be more than fine.

Pippin closed the wardrobe and turned to hand the clothes to Merry. That’s when he stepped upon the oily water. His foot flew straight out from under him and he fell backwards with a startled yelp.

“Pippin! Are you all right?” Merry exclaimed as he jumped up from the bed and went to dash to his friend’s side. Only he tripped himself as soon as he took his first step. It felt as if something had tangled with his feet, but as he picked himself up and looked at the ground he could see nothing. The thread that tripped him had snapped after the impact and the broken pieces of thread had fallen to the ground, where they blended in perfectly with the wood floor.

“Merry?” Pippin asked, panic evident in his voice. “What just happened? It’s the ghost isn’t it? I don’t want to sleep in here tonight.”

“Oh, Pip, come on,” Merry said in as calming a voice as he could manage. “Look, you just tripped on some water. I told you to dry up better than you did. And I probably just tripped my own self trying to get to you. That’s all that happened.”

Pippin nodded but didn’t look convinced. He was perfectly dry and hadn’t dripped water anywhere, and Merry was the least clumsy person he knew. He cast his eyes about the room and took his clothes so he could change next to Merry, constantly bumping into him, he stood so close. Merry put up with it, mostly because he was still shaken himself, but he continued to insist that it was all coincidental.

They managed to forget out the strange occurrence once they got to The Ivy Bush and started dancing. The night passed quickly, and there was much food and drink to enjoy. The lasses were a little overdressed, but they didn’t mind as they got a lot of attention from the lads for it. Paladin, Saradoc, Eglantine and Esmeralda mingled with the other adults and found out that the inhabitants of Hobbiton favored Frodo very highly. Frodo himself had quite a lot of fun dancing with Daisy and May Gamgee and some of the other lasses from in and around Hobbiton.

They returned home late, with a sleeping Pippin being carried by Paladin up the Hill. Paladin put his son to bed, then the lasses went to change into more comfortable clothes as the adults went into the parlor for a late cup of tea. Merry went back to his room, exhausted himself, and turned in for the night.

An hour later, Eglantine and Esmeralda checked to make sure their children were sleeping soundly then turned in themselves. Paladin and Saradoc finished up their pipes a few minutes later, and Frodo went around the smial putting out fires and making sure all was secure for the night. Soon, the house was submerged in peaceful darkness and snores could be heard coming from the happily sleeping inhabitants.

CRASH! BANG! SLAM!

The noise was enough to wake the dead and soon everyone was climbing out of bed, wondering what on this green earth could be making such a racket. Five doors opened nearly simultaneously and everyone poured out into the tunnel, Paladin and Saradoc carrying candles.

“What was that?” Esmeralda exclaimed, her heart racing.

No one knew and everyone stood about for a few minutes, waking up. Then Pippin let out a cry and ran to hide behind his father’s legs. He pointed at the floor. They looked down and lowered their candles to where he pointed. There, in the middle of the tunnel outside the lads’ room, was a pile of dirt.

“It’s the ghost,” Pippin wailed.

Eglantine bent down to comfort her youngest and fixed Frodo with a questioning expression. “Is there really a ghost then?” she asked. Maybe they should leave, if Pippin was this frightened.

Frodo shrugged. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Mostly, he’s just content to make noise,” he said. “It’s only in the spring when he gets cranky.” He squatted until he was eye-height with Pippin. “Would you like to sleep with me tonight, Pip?”

Pippin shook his head. “I want Mum and Da,” he said.

“Of course dear,” Eglantine soothed. She took Pippin’s hand and led him into the room.

“Can we sleep with you too?” Pervinca asked her father. Pimpernel and Pearl nodded, their faces full of fear. “I can sleep with you, can’t I Frodo?” Merry asked.

Frodo nodded and let his cousin into his room. Then he turned and began to go inside himself when Pervinca asked, “What about the mess?”

Frodo merely shrugged. “Leave it. It’ll be gone by morning. He's really a very tidy ghost,” he said and fixed the lasses with a brief, but pointed, look. Then he closed the door behind him.

So in the middle of the night, Pimpernel pretended to have to use the privy and Pearl accompanied her. They cleaned up the mess, glad that the second phase of their plan had been so successful. Tomorrow night would be the third and final phase.  

The next day progressed with no incidents. Frodo had a private conversation with the adults and explained what exactly was going on. Paladin and Saradoc laughed. Eglantine and Esmeralda looked scandalized. “Pippin could hardly sleep last night. How could you agree to this Frodo?” Eglantine scolded. “I’m putting an end to this.”

“Now, Tina,” Paladin said, “it’s just a prank. As soon as Pippin finds out there’s no ghost, he won’t be frightened anymore. And I daresay he’ll learn a lesson about messing with his sisters.”

Frodo left the adults to argue over the best course of action and went to find his friends. They were sitting outside in the garden, in the part farthest from the smial. He couldn’t help but laugh when he found them. They did not appreciate his mirth, but he sat down with them and leaned in to whisper to them.

“You know what the ghost doesn’t like and avoids at all times?” he said. Merry and Pippin shook their heads, instantly intrigued. “Garlic. Put cloves of garlic around your bed and you’ll be fine. It’s the smell you see. He doesn’t like it.” Then Frodo left to see to other things. When he checked the pantry a couple of hours later, he was not surprised to find every single garlic clove missing.

The Yule Feast was pleasant, if small compared to what everyone was used to. The food was delicious and they sang many songs throughout the long night. The gift-giving went wonderfully, everyone getting exactly what they wanted. Soon, it was time for bed again and everyone was saying good night.

The matrons stayed up to help Frodo clean the kitchen and put things away. Merry and Pippin said they wanted to help, but they were fooling no one. Even with the assurance of garlic, they were still apprehensive about returning to their room. Eglantine was tempted to let Pippin stay with her again tonight, but Esmeralda restrained her with a staying hand. The lasses wouldn’t hurt Pippin and after tonight, it would all be over.  

It took Merry and Pippin a long time to fall asleep. They were huddled together in the middle of the bed, with garlic hanging all around the four-poster bed and the doorway. At long last, they were breathing deeply and steadily with sleep and Pippin even began to snore softly.

“Finally,” Pervinca muttered softly to herself as she slipped out from under the bed. She tiptoed over to the bedroom door and unlocked it. She poked her head into the passageway and clucked her tongue quietly.

Pimpernel and Pearl entered the room a moment later and closed the door shut behind them. Pearl was already wearing the costume, a black sheet with a white hood, and she had a bucket of dirt in her hand. Pimpernel and Pervinca slipped back under the bed, each of them grabbing a leg of the frame. They put a couple of candles and strikers near at hand.

Pearl glided over to the bed and started sprinkling dirt over her brother and cousin, making low grunting noises for extra effect as she did so. When enough dirt had been poured, she tapped her foot twice. Vinca and Pimmie braced themselves. The bed was heavy and they were hoping they would only have to move it couple of times to wake their victims. They grabbed the front leg on either side of the bed and using their knees for leverage, they pushed up with their backs, lifting and rattling the bed as many times as they could.

“What was that?” they heard Merry say. Pippin simply whimpered. “What’s on the bed?” Merry asked. “It’s dirt!” The lasses slid out from under the bed soundlessly as Pearl began to dump more dirt by the handful now, once again grunting menacingly.

“Merry!” Pippin said. “It’s in here! Do something!”

“What?” asked Merry, near panic himself. Both lads were breathing heavily and the fact that they weren’t bolting from the bed proved how scared they were. Vinca and Pimmie cowered behind Pearl and struck their candles. Merry and Pippin looked up into the growing flicker of the candles to see a white shrouded face hovering above them and screamed for dear life. They were rewarded with laughter.

Pearl yanked the hood off her costume, and Pervinca and Pimpernel stood up and stepped out from the shadow of the billowing black cloth. Merry and Pippin just stared at them, for once at a complete loss of what to think, say or do. Pearl took the strikers and lit the rest of the candles until the room glowed with light. Still, Merry and Pippin stared at them, though their shock was beginning to give way to anger and embarrassment.

Pearl bent over and placed an affectionate kiss on Pippin’s forehead. “Remember that next time you decide to throw sparklers in our room, or anything else for that matter. Sorry for having to scare you. Good night.”

The lasses bowed politely and slipped out of the room. Merry and Pippin could hear them laughing as they walked down the hall. A moment later, their door closed. The two cousins looked at each other, still processing what had just happened. Finally, after many long minutes of confounded silence, Merry turned to Pippin and said, “Your sisters are diabolical.”

“Now do you see what I have to put up with?” Pippin responded.

Then both lads brushed off as much dirt from themselves and the bed as they could. They lay down and closed their eyes to go back to sleep, happy to let the candles burn for the rest of the night.  

“Bye Frodo! See you in Rethe!” Pippin called out from the carriage window the next morning as he and his sisters and parents left to head back to Whitwell. Merry and his parents followed closely after. Merry embraced Frodo tightly before climbing into the carriage. “See you in Rethe!” he shouted also.

Frodo stood by the lane and watched his family drive away. He was sorry to see them go and hoped Rethe would not take too long to get here. He turned to Sam and smiled brightly at him. “Well, Sam, time for the clean up.”

“Right, sir,” Sam said and the two went into the smial to start turning out the guest rooms. They started with the first room where the lasses had slept, and room by room made their way down to the lads’ room. Sam opened the door and they stepped inside.

Frodo knew the sound of that “snap!” and what it meant, but even his reflexes were too slow. A bucket of oil tipped over their heads and doused their heads and shirts. A split second later, a bucket of flour tipped over and completed the job. Gardener and master looked down at their ruined clothes and then at each other.

“This is what I get for conspiring against my cousins,” Frodo said humbly. He should have seen this coming.

Sam moaned regrettably as he fingered his shirt. “My Gaffer’s going to throttle me when he see this mess.”

Frodo laughed. “He doesn’t need to see it. Let’s change, you can wear some of my old clothes while we clean, but wash that first. By the time you’re ready to go home it should be dry. But first, let’s look for any other traps they may have placed for us. No need to change again if we don’t have to.”

“If you say so, sir,” Sam agreed miserably. “Never trust a Took and a Brandybuck,” he muttered under his breath as he followed his master into the booby-trapped room, wondering what other disasters awaited them within.
 
 

End of this ficlet.  
 

GF 7/26/04