Disclaimer: If I made any money off of this, do you think I'd be here typing fanfiction? I'd be on a one way flight to Middle Earth! ... er, New Zealand ...

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"Let's see...well, remember that Primrose and Daisy are in diapers. Primrose can only have formula - no solid food. Elanor, Frodo-lad and Rosie-lass will be able to help a lot with feedings and such. Merry-lad and Pippin-lad will need to be watched constantly - they're trouble-makers. Goldilocks and Hamfast play with their toys most of the time, so don't worry about them, but don't -"

"Rosie," Sam said, cutting her off, "I can do it. Stop worrying!"

She smiled and patted his hand. "I know, I'm just a bid nervous about leaving you all. Now, remember: ask Di or Stella if you need help with something. Don't even think about going to those fool friends of yours - they don't know children from chowder. How Di and Stella put up with them, I just don't know..."

Sam only sighed in reply.

"Well, I guess that's everything then!" Rose exclaimed, grabbing her satchel and heading for the door where all nine stood, Primrose nestled in Elanor's arms. "Goodbye dears! Mummy loves you!" she said, kissing each in turn. She walked out the door and climbed into the waiting cart. As she passed out of sight, Goldi, Hamfast and Daisy burst into tears.

Sam rushed over to them. "Shh, it's alright! Da's here! See? We'll have lots of fun together." he said, mussing Daisy's brown curls.

"Noo!" Hamfast screamed, "I want my mummy!"

"Yes, mummy!" the other two cried in agreement.

Realizing that the time was ripe, Merry and Pippin tore off to the kitchen. Moments later, banging and clamor could be heard, causing Sam to look in that direction anxiously.

"Bye, Da!" yelled Pippin as he scurried out the door, arms full of food.

"We're going to the Goodbody's to play with Tom in their tree house" Merry added as he followed his brother down the path.

"Yes, yes," Sam said absently, still trying to comfort the trio. "See? Your brothers are going to have fun with their friend in his tre..." he stopped, the facts of what Merry-lad had said sinking in.

"Wait - TREE house? Does your mother let you do that?" he yelled desperately after them, but they had gone.

"MUMMY! WE WANT MUMMY!"

"DAD! Where did you put Primrose's bottle?"

"ROSE! Stop pulling my hair!" Frodo-lad shrieked in a pained voice.

"I wanna play, Frodo! Play with me!" she protested, yanking again.

Finally Sam decided he had to do something before he lost his mind.

"Quiet! All of you!" he bellowed, and, incredibly, all fell silent.

"Now, Daisy, Hamfast, Goldi: calm down. Your mummy will be back soon. How about Frodo-lad helps you settle down for a nap?

"Rosie-lass, be a good girl for da and get yourself a snack. When you're done, you may play with your dolls.

"Elanor, the extra bottles are in the pantry. Put Prim down for a nap, too, when she's done with her bottle.

Genuinely surprised, the youngest children followed their older siblings to do as they were bid, thumbs firmly in place in their mouths, sniffling the aftermath of their tearful rage.

Rosie-lass remained, staring at her father with sorrowful brown eyes and said, "I didn't mean to hurt him, Da. But he never plays with me anymore!" furrowing her brow in childish frustration.

"I know, dearest," Sam replied with a smile, "but your brother is growing up now. Perhaps you can go visiting or have Frodo teach you something from one of his books."

Her face brightened. "You mean like elves, da?"

"That's precisely what I mean, love," he said, straightening her hair ribbons gently. "Now go get a snack and then maybe your brother will read to you."

"Yes, Da," she said, standing on tip-toe to kiss his cheek before skipping off into the kitchen.

Sam grinned, then gave a deep sigh before collapsing in the nearest chair.

Well, now that the worst is over, the next week should be a piece of cake, he thought happily. 

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The rest of the day went by smoothly. Merry and Pippin came home after lunch and had been playing in their rooms ever since. Prim, Daisy, Hamfast and Goldi napped most of the day. Thanks to Sam's suggestion, Frodo-lad sat in the study reading stories of the elves to an entranced Rosie-lass. Elanor disappeared into her room.

I knew I could do it! Sam thought to himself. I just knew it!

"-Oh, you look nice dear," he said aloud as Elanor emerged from her room in her best blue dress. "Going somewhere?"

"Um...yes..." she answered nervously, looking at the ceiling and fidgeting with her skirts.”I'm...going...out to dinner Fastred.

Sam gulped and stammered out a reply "Y-you-...you're g-going on a, a date? W-with a boy?"

"Yes, Da, a boy."

"Does your mother, I mean can you...erm..."

"Well...I've been seeing him for a few weeks."

"Uh...y-yes, good, erm...fine. Well, uh, bye...have fun..."

"I will. Bye Da!" she said, walking out to the carriage on Bag-end's lawn.

"Goodbye! Be back by eleven..." Sam called after them, hands shaking. Well, at least Prim, Daisy, Hamfast and Goldi are being good, he thought, reaching out to knock on the wooden doorframe as he chuckled at his silly superstitions. Just as his knuckles touched to wood, a scream came from down the hall, followed by Primrose's wail. Oh no!

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