Nardanë Daughter of Parímoëar, of Lindon

To Kalamiril Daughter of Menelúin of Mithlond, my Beloved Friend,

Greetings,

O my dear Kalamiril, what trouble I have!  How I wish you were here to advise me, for as the days pass I become all the more cognizant this task is beyond me, and I suspect we erred greatly in so blindly obeying our Lord!  Ever do I grow more despondent that I shall turn this child of ours into anything that has semblance to the Lady of an Elven realm; I know not why I have been charged with this task, but suspect I have offended Lord Círdan in some way and this is my punishment. 

I had hopes that the deep affection and high regard she has for her betrothed might spur her to the proper performance of her duties here (which are light for now, but shall increase with time; if she cannot succeed in small things how shall she ever fulfill the full measure of her tasks!) but alas I have been unsuccessful in communicating this progression of thought to her – she does truly believe, my friend, that she has naught to do but to dance and sing and spout accolades upon her "beautiful prince" and he shall remain ignorant of her lack of desire to see to the administration of her demesne.  Why only last week came Seimiel and Dúrfinwen unto me, telling me Lord Legolas had instructed them to bring her to a council regarding the new vineyards to the north, and she did not go – did not even bother telling them she would not go.  I apologized for her behavior as best I could (though I am growing ever more averse to this; I feel as though I am deceiving them) and went straightway to Laustairë to question her on this matter; she replied airily that she thought meetings were "boring" and did not understand why she should be concerned with agriculture.  I tried – O Kalamiril, how I tried! – to gently and kindly impress upon her the importance of her involvement in these matters, and she grew angry first, then petulant, which as you know she ever does to mask her shame; she said sullenly that she knew nothing of vineyards, she could add nothing to the discussion, she was training her little mare to do a trick for Legolas' return – I confess, my friend, that I became quite cross then, and was utterly unable to rein in my temper; I railed at her, calling her inconsiderate, selfish and indolent; she wept, and told me I was harsh and unsympathetic and cruel.  You may well imagine, my Kalamiril, how our conversation degenerated at that point – why, you have been present at many of its permutations, have you not?  I increasingly enraged, she silent and sullen, until I realized I was waiting upon you to enter, that you might soothe us both and bring us to an accord – but O my Kalamiril, you were not there to do so!  Upon my honor I know not how I shall turn her, for she is increasingly stubborn upon this point, that she shall be the lady of a rich and well-loved Elven lord, and has no need to labor upon such topics – she said she shall do naught but arrange the parties and feasts and celebrations.  At that point I realized, my friend, you should have leapt upon that concession and instructed her to take a part in the planning of Lord Legolas' return from Amon Din, but she was so far gone in her sulk my appeal fell upon deaf ears.  So now she shall do naught but sit in her room and read, or sit in the garden and embroider, or go unto the back stable and visit her little mare – and I?  I am attempting to coerce Galás and Hirilcúllas to allow me to take on her load, so that at least I might instruct her in her duties in private away from the faces of the others, for I suspect she is uncomfortable around them, as they are all older, and strange to her; perhaps this is why she shuns them, evading her education.

Indeed she has made no friends here, Kalamiril, which concerns me; at first I thought she and Seimiel were becoming sociable, for she is an affable and gracious lady is Seimiel and I enjoy her company very much; however Laustairë (in her nervousness, I could tell, and also in her desire to have the ladies of the court like her) spoke too much upon the subject of her clothing – you know she does babble when she is nervous, and is seeking for a suitable subject of conversation – and clothing, at least, is something she knows a bit about – but it had very little effect upon the lady, and I could see her growing ever more agitated, until at last after several fruitless attempts to change the subject the conversation died.  This was aggravating, for at the same time Laustairë was discussing her wardrobe I could catch tantalizing snippets of conversation upon the other side of the table, betwixt Legolas and several others, concerning the docks at the south wall of Minas Tirith and the difficulties engendered by the increased traffic brought on by new trade.  This obviously ought to concern us, as our own ships shall be docking there as well on their way to Osgiliath; however when I attempted to deflect Laustairë from her subject I was thwarted by her love of frippery; she would rather have discussed the new pattern of lace she has discovered, which shall be attached to the bodice of her wedding gown.

Do you see, Kalamiril?  Do you see how frustrated I am?  And it is not so bad that she makes all of us to look like fools; I am becoming ever more perturbed regarding Legolas' own fate; how can I countenance giving this child, this vain, foolish, lovable child, as a bride to such a one as he?  He is affable, Kalamiril, and so gentle and tender with her; yet in battle, Meivel told me, he is ferocious and obdurate, feared by his enemies and admired by his allies.  I had occasion just this evening to overhear him as he played upon his lute in his chambers for the two small children of the Lord and Lady of Emyn Arnen; he is so good with them, Kalamiril, so affectionate and receptive; I have heard him say he is looking forward with enthusiasm to being a father – but in truth I cannot countenance the thought of allowing him to wed her with that aim in mind.  Her a mother!  Why she is still a child herself; and she has on numerous occasions here proved to me she cannot aspire to such a thing as he expects of her!  O what shall I do, Kalamiril?  That you were here to advise me, to bend her to your will as you always have, to coerce her to take this one last step towards her inheritance as a Lady of Mithlond, to be the Lady of Dol Galenehtar!  I rue the day I ever accepted this charge from my lord, that I should with all diligence work to acquire a suitable mate for the child; Legolas is more than suitable for her, but she, alas! is far from suitable for one such as he.

All this week has she been stiff and irritable with me, pointedly ignoring me when we are alone together, and laving me with condescending politesse in view of others; she however to my relief has been attentive and coy with her betrothed, so lavishing upon him her charm and beauty he remains quite ignorant of her true state; I do not blame him much in this, for he is rarely here; the season, he did inform me, is hectic enough, but so much has been happening all at once that he has scarcely slept nor had respite in some months.  I feel for him, Kalamiril; he is so busy, and his seneschal and secretary are as well; it should have been a grand thing indeed for him, had he wed you instead of Laustairë, for you at least understand the necessity to involve yourself in mundane affairs; after all it is in the attention to little things that a kingdom is smoothly run.  Have we failed somehow in our duty, my friend?  Did we neglect Laustairë's education on this point?  Or is this, as you oftimes assured me, but a passing phase for her, which she shall outgrow as surely as she did thumb-sucking and lisping?  And what of Legolas?  What shall I tell him, when finally he realizes Galás and Hirilcúllas have not had Laustairë's aid in any of their doings?  When he awakens to the realization that his betrothed is naught but a silly, proud, diffident child?  When he become conscious of the fact that I have for the past several months been involved in a desperate ploy to hide this from him, that our lord's desires might be met?  He has already been disappointed I think; he had expected upon his return from Amon Din to hear she had become involved in the problem of irrigating the new plantings, but his disillusionment was overshadowed by her (I grit my teeth as I admit this) enchanting welcome of him when he rode within his gates; she had dressed especially to please him, having overheard he preferred the color green, and was leading her little Goermeril all bedecked in flowers; she sang unto him a song of her own composition in her sweet voice, and when he had dismounted threw her arms about his neck and embraced him in full view of the court.  Were she not so artless I should have been impressed for this display so turned the tide of affection – on his part as well as the greater part of his subjects' – in her favor that all her infractions were forgotten.  And during the celebratory banquet she sat at his side and listened with rapt attention to the account of the battle – at least, I may assume she took heed of what he said; she watched him to be certain, but then she does that anyway, and she might have been simply admiring the way the lamplight "glinted upon his golden sheet of hair and reflected in his starry eyes," as I heard her say.  And O Kalamiril, he seemed so pleased with her, so taken with her warmth and attention; she has enchanted him so that he does not realize she is a mere trinket upon his arm, hollow, expensive, and worthless.

O how you would rebuke me for that, my friend!  Perhaps you are correct to censure me when I act this way; I thought the older she became the less she should irritate me, but it is not so; she pains me more now than ever she did before.

Write to me and quickly, my Kalamiril; nay, come to me instead, ere the snow flies, that you might advise me in what I ought to do!  Shall I approach Legolas and make a clean breast of my duplicity; shall I take into my confidence Gimli of Aglarond who is his best friend; shall I attempt to speak to either Lady Éowyn or Queen Undómiel (neither of whom I may tell you trust Laustairë in the slightest) and gain their counsel?  Shall I write to our lord, informing him of the obstacles I have encountered, and beg him to withdraw the suit?  Tell me, I beg of you; I am so perplexed I can scarce think.  At least Laustairë has taken interest in the Tournament that approaches – though I admit she is more attracted to the promise of pageantry than the trials of arms themselves, much to my disgust – perhaps I can constrain her to take some part in its arrangement, and so break through this stubborn shell of hers, that protects her from involvement in any of the doings of this demesne.  What is it, my friend, that has so paralyzed her?  I do not remember her being so in Mithlond!  She was so busy there, so caught up in every function; why is she so obstinate with me?  What am I doing wrong?

I shall end this letter here, or drive myself mad.  I am going down to the stables; perhaps there I shall find someone with whom I might speak and feel at ease.  The night is so fragrant and still, and the stars shimmer upon Elbereth's dark cloak . . . How I wish you could be here with me, my Kalamiril, so that we might arms entwined walk upon the green lawns, paddle in the cool chuckling streams and seek out the shimmering waterfalls by moonlight!  O, I should love it here were it not for Laustairë! 

There – I have mentioned it again.  I shall quit you now, or you will grow angry with me, and then I should be more desolate than I already am.

How I miss you!

Nardanë