Bandobras Took, Crickhollow, Tuckborough,

To Legolas Thranduilion, My Wise Master (no matter what he says), Dol Galenehtar, Ithilien

Dear Master,

Well, it was no good telling me to not disturb the house with my rejoicing – disturb it I did, and but good!  Think I broke a floor joist with all my jumping, I really did, though unless I get down under the house I'll never know for sure, and frankly I'm not sure I WANT to know, Master, for what no one knows is not likely to hurt me none, especially in the sit-me-down region, if you catch what I'm saying.  Goodness gracious me, you'd think my backside had a target on it sometimes, with all the whacks I get!  But anyway I got all my happiness out of the way afore Mother and Uncle Pip came in, though they heard me hollering and thought maybe I'd gone and burned something in the kitchen, so they came a-running in and O Master the looks on their faces when they seen me hopping about!  Then they read the letter too and they were both so happy, Master; I can't tell you what a relief it is to us all, that you're stepping back like and seeing how things'll work out.   Cousin Merry's mighty pleased too, and he and Uncle Pip are now saying how they'll wait on going down to Gondor 'til spring next, which is fine for Uncle Pip and Cousin Merry and Diamond and Estella and the babies, but not so good for Mother and me; what shall we do, without them to travel with?  I'd travel alone if it weren't for Mother.  What I ought to do is to go down to Bree and ask round the Inn there if we could join some group of travelers.  It'd be lots safer, and I'd be more careful which Dwarves I went with, I can tell you!  Or perhaps King Elessar's got some sort of delegation coming up this way to Lake Evendim, that we could go with; would you check into that, Master?  For I promised you I'd come this spring, wedding or no, and I mean to do just that; I've nowise achieved my majority but I'm not a Took for nothing, and I've put my foot down on this point and Mother recognizes it's no good arguing.  It's been a terrible long time since we've seen each other and I don't mind telling you I've fair had it, it's awful nice getting your letters and all but it don't match up to actually being WITH you, and as Mother says she don't mind coming along (got a fair bit of Took in her, you know!) and wants to see Rivendell and Eryn Lasgalen and the River and all, this will be ever so good an opportunity for her to do a bit of traveling, which she was never able to do before as she got married awful young to my Dad and then had me and couldn't go nowhere nohow; now I'm nearly grown and been so many places already she figures we might as well start now as later, for when Uncle Pip marries, Diamond will be moving into our house in Crickhollow and if you think it's a dodgy thing having to share a kitchen betwixt two Hobbits just you wait 'til there's three in there, and two of them females besides.  Quite frankly I don't want to think on it, so I'll just ease Mother out of there, and stay with you a while to see how she likes it; we were planning on my going back to you for good once I reach thirty-three anyway, so if I can convince her to stay it won't be so hard on her, seeing as I'm her only child.  And then when she does decide to go back to the Shire most likely the roads'll be even safer than before the stronger the King gets, and travel will be easier, and she can bunk up with Aunt Vinca if she likes, they get on real well.  What do you think, Master?  Do you think that would work?  You keep on about how much you want me there, but would you mind if Mother stayed too?  Gimli says you ought to let Mother be the Lady of Dol Galenehtar.  Wouldn't that be a treat!  Though I guess since you're actually going to marry Laustairë anyway that mightn't be such a good plan.  Perhaps you can give her another honorary title.  What do you call mothers of esquires anyway?  And O Master what you said about wanting to take me to Valinor instead of Laustairë, well, you know none but Elves are allowed to do that, and frankly if all's said and done you're right about your being immortal and me mortal and the difference is, if I'm going to die I'd much rather do it in Middle Earth (Dol Galenehtar by preference), and you know I'm going to do it anyway so we might as well settle how it's going to happen, but thank you anyway, Master, just knowing you feel so strong about me makes me feel better too, for there's nowhere else I'd rather live than Ithilien, and no one else's side I'd rather die beside than yours.  And now I'd best stop writing this for I'm getting all teary-eyed and if Mother catches me like this she'll think you've been causing trouble and that'll put her back up but good.

Well, that was a shocker and no mistake about Kaimelas and Seimiel, Master!  I fair sat with my mouth hanging open when I read that about them; I truly had no idea, Master, that Kaimelas had any thought of courting, much less courting Seimiel, but the more I think on it the more I quite see your point; they are quite suited I think, for Seimiel's got such snap and vinegar to her, and Kaimelas is more sweet but in a sly-like way so that there'll be no getting round him (as well you know).  There's them as wouldn't want a wife as bold as Seimiel but I reckon Kaimelas is the chap for her, being so brave and all.  You tell them for me I send them my congratulations, and I surely hope I might get to see their wedding too; what a load of them there's been lately!  At least you and Laustairë will be able to watch Kaimelas and Seimiel and see if what they do with their wedding ceremony is what you two like; Diamond has five sisters all wed, and she told me the other day she was so glad she could watch and learn from their mistakes, in particular the eating of a good proper breakfast aforehand, for her sister Opal didn't eat no breakfast on account of being so nervous about marrying of Biffin Bolger (I'd of been nervous too, he's mortal difficult to get on with) and fainting dead away in the midst of the ceremony, and with five hundred guests watching her! Got grass stains all over the backside of her pretty wedding dress which never did come out, which was a pity as the next girl what got married – Ruby I think it was – couldn't wear the dress over again and a new one had to be made, and it cost a pretty bit of money I can tell you.

You ought really to take better care of your hair, Master; I'm with Kaimelas all the way in this, though he oughtn't to've wrenched you about like that; what were you doing anyway, crawling through the shrubs looking for basil plants?  I've never seen a body as keen as you for getting dirty, Master, and considering the kinds of lads I foregather with that's saying quite a bit.  You're forever climbing and crawling and running and riding and rooting about – are you sure Elves and squirrels aren't related?  At least you clean up well; Holbard always looks as though he's been drug through a hayrick backward even when he's fresh from the tub.  Which robe did Kaimelas set out for you?  The silver one?  That one's my favorite I think, so simple and clean-like; no frippery or embroidery or any other such stuff; there's no sense in dressing you up like a doll, now, is there?  And one thing I've been awful worried about, Master; will Kaimelas think I'm setting him aside when I come to you?  For as your esquire you know I'm supposed to do the valeting too; will he mind much, do you think?  Or will he have his hands so full of Seimiel he won't notice?

I guess you handled Laustairë pretty well, if what you say is true, that she's getting all het-up about the Tournament and running about getting things ready.  That'll be a right treat for her, won't it, Master?  For you did tell me they don't do jousts or tourneys in Mithlond so she's never seen one before; they're awful exciting, aren't they!  How I wish I could be with you, Master, not to sit in the royal box and watch, but to be down at the tilt with Gimli holding your lances!  What fun that was!  Barring of course all those times you got hurt or other knights got hurt or the caltrops or the exploding lance.  That wasn't so fun, was it, Master?  But it worked out all right in the end, not for poor Herion of course, but like you said to me long ago there's no transition of power without a great many casualties, and I guess we can chalk poor Herion up to one of the casualties.  His horse too, and Hatchet, and – oh, so many men, Master; what a pity it is it's so hard to establish kingdoms and fiefdoms and such!  I wish there was some special formula you could follow that would make all the people happy and prosperous and all the neighbors love you and accept your rule.  But that's not the way the world works, is it, Master?  Pity, it'd be so much easier that way, and save you and Lord Faramir and King Elessar no end of trouble.

Anyway I'd better go; Long Bank's gone well, we're almost done with the smials and it's a good thing too as it's dead autumn and starting to get awful cold.  We've had hard frost several times already – Grandfather says it's going to be a snorter of a winter, so we're all bracing ourselves like, laying in supplies of food and wood and making sure everyone's barns and houses are snug.  I wish you were here too, Master – how lovely it would be to sit by the hearth with you again!  We could watch the flames crackle in the wood and make toast with our tea, and I've invented the most bully receipt for apple fool – melts in your mouth, it does, though Mother fusses at me it takes so much butter and sugar to make.  Uncle Pip's awful fond of it though and told me I'll have go give the receipt to Diamond afore they wed.

Good luck with Laustairë!  I'm looking forward to meeting her.  And think of me, won't you, during the joust, Master?  Try to imagine I'm standing beside Gimli at the tilt helping hold your things, for truly that's where I'd much rather be than here!

Your Esquire,

Bandobras