5.

Legolas Thranduilion, Still-Unmarried Son of the King of Eryn Lasgalen, Dol Galenehtar, Ithilien

To Bandobras Took, Moonlight-Writer, My Defender and Friend, Crickhollow

My Dear Bandobras,

So delighted was I to both receive and read your latest epistle, Little One, I felt it essential to answer it at once, thus perpetuating my private fantasies that you are naught but a day's ride away and we correspond in jest.  How I miss you, my Bandobras!  I think of you every morning, when the sun alights upon a certain hill which is covered with snow, its gold and blue shifting to silver and white as the morn wanes; I imagine you to myself, wrapped warmly in wool (for would not your mother scold me, were you to fall ill due to my neglect!), seated upon a plank of wood fitted with runners and a handle, sliding down into the deep bank below with the rest of the children of Osgiliath and Dol Galenehtar.  Indeed this very morning I stood upon the high balcony of my bed chambers, leaning upon the railing and watching the little ones trudge up the slope, seat themselves upon their sleds, and shoot down fast as arrows sprung from the bow-string, hair flying, laughing and shouting, their dear little faces burnished red from the cold air's kisses.  For yes, my Bandobras, as you may have guessed, we hold the midwinter's festivities in Dol Galenehtar this year, and all the families in Osgiliath are with us for this week's celebration; the parents drink and eat and dance upon the rush-clad tile of my Great Hall, while the children play in the snow in the clearing behind my tower.  And do you know, 'twas your talking of sliding upon planks that so inspired one of my craftsmen, Hwindiö, to make these little sleds for the visiting children, which they have dubbed "Bandys."  Does this not make your little heart to swell with pride?  Think you upon the delight your impetus has brought to us, that these children who last winter pined and starved, may thus delight themselves in play during their sojourn here, due to naught but several lines in a letter to me!  Ah, dear Little One, how I wish you were here to see it, the final fruit of your musings!  It would fill your heart with joy to hear them laughing so; it fills mine I know, and almost makes me to wish I had children of my own.

Well, now I know the meaning of the word "mathom-house!"  I was able to use it in fine company too, when last month I was in Rohan for King Éomer's wedding; I had heard that some words common to the Hobbits of the Shire were used also in the language of the people of Rohan, so during one of the feasts, when one of the King's knights – Haldeth, I believe his name was – spoke of artifacts he had found in the Druadan, I suggested, with downcast eye and diffident voice, that he put them in a mathom-house.  At once all eyes at the table were turned to me, some in puzzlement but some in surprise; I smiled, and Lady Éodild exclaimed:  "Why, I know that word!  That is a word my grandmother used to use many, many years ago; it means useless, does it not?  Does it not mean useless, Lord Legolas?"  And then I laughed, and explained to them where I had heard the word; King Éomer was intrigued, saying he had not thought two such divergent peoples could have similarities between their tongues, and charged one of his scribes to look into it for him.  So you be sure to tell your Cousin Meriadoc, that his speculations were correct, and his Lord would hold it not amiss were he to investigate the matter as well.

The wedding was a grand affair, of which I expected little else, for the marriage of the king of a new bloodline in Gondor's chief ally to the daughter of one of the descendents of such a one as Nimrodel is an event which happens perhaps once or twice an age.  Meduseld so overflowed with folk come to witness the ceremony that trestles were set upon the open square for the common folk to use; Gimli instructed me to tell you that over fifty pigs were slaughtered for the event, in addition to over one hundred lambs and numerous cocks, quail, squabs and pheasants.  You ought to have seen the ovens the Dwarves built for the kitchens, Bandobras; they were big as huts some of them, and in them one could bake well over one hundred loaves of bread.  The Elves of Dol Galenehtar brought seventy-five barrels of wine as a wedding gift, and I am pleased (though Gimli said I ought rather to be appalled) to report that only two were left unbroached after the wedding feast had concluded.  All praised the vineyards of the lands in Ithilien, ourselves included, for I must admit to you, my dear Little One, that after four or five helpings of the strong red wine of early vintage I raised my glass to toast the grapes as well, much to the amusement of Queen Undómiel, Queen Lothíriel, and Lady Éowyn.  After that King Elessar saluted the fields that had produced the wild fowl, and Lord Faramir toasted the grains of Langstrand which produced the flour which formed the subtleties, and King Éomer, in an inspiration of wit, raised his glass to salute the pig-sties from which had sprung the sausages.  After that incident, the ladies excused themselves, saying the hour was late and they desired to seek their beds; it was my theory however they tired of our game and wished to leave before we became much more foolish than we had already grown.

The week would have been idyllic, my Bandobras, had it not been for one thing, which Galás neglected to tell me, that a delegation from Lothlórien had come to the wedding as well; within the party, to my mother's full knowledge and consent, were three unwed ladies of high rank from Celeborn's court.  Imagine my dismay, Bandobras, when at the formal presentation, I dressed in finery that would not have looked ill on a mighty king (Kaimelas again – I have underestimated him; he is most subtle), was paraded before these maids, and seated beside one of them – "To so properly provide entertainment for our strange guests," King Éomer had said, with a wink to Kaimelas, curse him! – forced to make idle chat with her for nigh on two hours, while the other two looked on, feigning disinterest.  Did I not say to you in a previous letter, my dear Little One, that the ladies were being presented to me as hens by a butcher?  Well now my Lady Mother as butcher has changed her wares, and her son is the goose which hangs from the hook, to be inspected at will by prospective buyers!  It is fortunate indeed I have had much grounding in the gentle arts of conversation at formal functions, for so gone was I in anger and chagrin I should rather have displayed it in an unseemly fashion before the poor maids, and not restrained myself as I did.  But Kaimelas, descrying my discomfort, did apologize most graciously to me when we had gained our chambers, saying as he helped me to disrobe that his promise to my Lady Mother made so many years hence has overthrown any subsequent oaths, and he is obligated to help me to the matrimonial table.  When I complained he used that worst of weapons upon me, namely my feelings of culpability concerning his weak lungs, and so I was forced to retreat rather further back in the field than I had hoped.

You asked, dear Bandobras, several questions in your last letter, which I will attempt to answer; several of them I recall concerned ladies and the choosing of mates.  I do not think any of my replies will be offensive to your mother, so I shall attempt to untangle your enquiries in a fitting fashion.

First of all, the ladies my mother sent from Imladris were fine and lovely ladies indeed, fair to look upon and gentle in speech and manner, yet so lacking in interest to me I did not even remember their names one from the other.  They were all four dark, all four clothed gorgeously, all four quiet and studious, all four possessed of nobility of lineage and dignity of manner; however when I attempted to converse with any of them all lines of dialogue proceeded in this fashion:  "And what do you do, my lady, at Imladris?"  "I assist with the arrangement of flowers" (or the laying of carpet, or the feeding of songbirds, or the tuning of harps; you may infer their duties from these answers).  "How went your journey south, my lady?"  "It was long, my lord, and tedious."  "Do you find the lands of Gondor to your liking, or do you pine for the blessed valley whence you came?"  "Both are agreeable, my lord."  Do you see, my Bandobras?  Even Elessar admitted to me they had little to commend themselves to an Elven warrior save their countenances, and I shall be mad indeed when I commit matrimony for naught but a pretty face.

Mathaiel is a fair maid indeed, perchance too fair; beside Hador there were no fewer than four other young men dangling after her apron strings, and the strumpet did encourage them all, to my disgust, though I knew should I say such a thing to Hador I would lose his confidence entirely.  But I spoke to good Araval, who being as a father to Hador took the lad aside and gave him much good advice, which proved fruitful, for as soon as Hador withdrew his attentions he attracted those of little Lady Mathaiel the stronger, so that she threw the other four over, and now waits attendance upon poor Hador, until the day he reaches his majority, which is this spring, and comes into his full inheritance.  It is not so bad – she is high-spirited, and far too clever for her own good, though she lacks wisdom still; I yet remind myself of her youth, for she has not yet achieved sixteen summers, so perchance she shall gain good judgment with years.  At any rate Araval and I hold our breaths when they are together; Hador is so happy, and so bemused by her beauty and charm, that should she vacillate upon him again his heart will be crushed.  Let us hope this affection she does show him bears its proper fruit, and is not but a fleeting thing, for I love Hador dearly, and wish him no evil.

You asked as well why men did take but one wife; I have heard that the wild men of the far east marry numerous women, but they are barbarians, and women to them are as common chattel, so that the acquisition of another bride is not a sign of affection or stamina, but simply wealth and social standing.  And these poor women, my Bandobras, are treated like livestock, to concern themselves only with breeding and menial duties; this is not, I assure you, a state of affairs one would wish to emulate, and you may tell your esteemed mother for me that I have discouraged you in this with all purity of conscience.  I agree with your uncle:  to have one wife would be difficult; to have more than one, lunacy.

As for Gimli's matrimonial prospects; we have spoken of that before, he and I; Gimli greatly desires to marry (nearly as much as I wish to avoid it), but Dwarvish women are thin on the ground, not only in Aglarond but in Erebor and the Iron Hills as well, and Gimli did inform me that they do not look upon marriage as an acceptable social move, so that most of the females of their race remain unwed and full content to stay so.  And yes, my Bandobras, I may tell you in full confidence, having known several, that Dwarf women are bearded.  But this does not mean they are unlovely; not at all!  Gimli's mother Frera is as lovely a Dwarf as one could meet, with fair reddish hair hung in ringlets down her back and chin, wise green eyes and pale skin freckled all over like a plover's egg.  She would not, perhaps, be to your liking, but she and I are great friends (much to the chagrin of Glóin her husband), and I esteem her highly.

I know you shall inquire as to the natures of the ladies from Lothlórien whom I met at Meduseld, so I shall spare you the parchment and tell you myself.  They were fair all three, indeed unexpectedly so, and one in particular; Mirilyen her name was, possessed such keen wit and incisive intellect I found myself laughing without rancor at her clever epigrams.  She had never left Lothlórien before, and found all the lands new to her to be fascinating and full of interest, so peppering me with questions about my travels that a full two hours had passed for us at the inglenook, without my noticing.  At first I was afraid, for what would I tell my mother, should I find myself enamored of this maid?  I should look as though my capitulation were addled by but common lusts, which, my Bandobras, I admit was perhaps the case.  Yet my cares were laid to rest, when I caught the eye of one of the march-wardens who had brought them there; so far gone was he in amorous contemplation of my chimney-mate that I could with clear conscience release her to him, breathing a sigh of relief as I quit the hall, though I did notice Kaimelas scowling at me as I retreated.

Odd, is it not?  I have never contemplated matrimony before; it is having a deleterious effect upon my composure!  Were it not for my Lady Mother's insistence I should have gone on full unaware of any particular charms a maid possessed; now that it has been brought before my eyes, however, I cannot but consider each lady that passes without the thought, "And what would Queen Edlothiel think then?"  Come to me quickly, my Bandobras, before I, all bemused and brow-beaten, fall beneath the parental pressure to wed without foreknowledge some unfortunate maid!  Perhaps I ought rather to adopt someone's daughter to serve as Lady to my household – it would be less wearying, yet serve the same purpose, to have a lady's firm presence in my court.  Would your mother mind too greatly, being adopted as my child?  She could preside at feasts and banquets by my side, and that would gain me the added benefit of having you here with me as well.  Would you want that, my dear Little One, to be my grand-child and not my esquire?  Then you could call me Ifantadar, Grandfather and not Master.

At any rate, a marriage would solve some trifling problems in court, which the presence of a lady would have eradicated forthwith; I cannot always depend upon Lady Éowyn or Queen Undómiel to succor me during banquets and feasts (indeed I am sure their husbands look upon me askance as it is; perhaps this is why Elessar and Faramir are so eager to see me wed), Galás is so pressed he despairs of ever sleeping again, and the other ladies in my Hall have their own separate duties.   So it would seem, my dear Little One, that perhaps my Lady Mother was right to chivvy my father so; I had not seen it before, being too occupied with mine own duties, but the presence of a Lady of Dol Galenehtar would be most efficacious, though I am appalled to see what I have just admitted.  It is mortifying, my Bandobras, to be forced to admit one's parents were correct, and that a lady in the court would absolve me of many of my obligations, thus freeing me for more pleasant duties.

But I cannot choose now; the winter feasts are upon us, and my household is full nearly to bursting; Galás and Himbaláth and Seimiel are overrun with guests, and one cannot step to the right without trampling another's toes underfoot.  Perhaps in the springtime I shall give this more thought, but for now I am far too busy.  Would that you were here with me, my Bandobras, for in the organization of feasts and the preparation of foods you are unparalleled!  My life here would be all the richer and easier were you by my side.

Give your Cousin Meriadoc my (perhaps premature) congratulations upon the birth of his child, and tell your Uncle Peregrin this for me:  if he has found a maid of warmth and firmness of soul, with whom he can laugh and talk and be silent, he ought not to be foolish, but snatch her up immediately, lest another come along and pluck the diamond from his hand.

In sorrow we are sundered, and with hope we shall soon be reunited,

Your Loving Master,

Legolas