Legolas Thranduilion, Lord of Dol Galenehtar, Called by Gimli Lord of Aglarond "You Idiot Elf," Addle-Pated, Whose Wits are Wool-Gathering, Ithilien,

To Bandobras Took, Beloved Esquire of the Green Knight, Traitor-Bane, Comforter of the Downtrodden, Crickhollow

My Dear Bandobras,

I received in truth your letter some days ago, but both the Mereth en'Ehtelé and the trade delegation of Mithlond arrived in concert and I was unable to reply; that is as well, for events have conspired against me and I am amazed and aghast at what appears to be occurring not simply within my fiefdom, but within my heart, which argues so with my reason I am nearly deafened inside.  O my dear Little One, I am bewildered by my capitulation, and baffled by this sudden turn of events – how did I come to this?  Only a week ago I fought against marriage with all my might, and now I am betrothed to a maid I hardly know.  There is no wonder then I am turned upside-down by this state of affairs; I hardly know myself which way I shall turn, and find my thoughts swinging like a pendulum from delight to horror.

It happened, or so I am told, Little One, in this fashion:  Lord Círdan's delegation, lead by his minister of trade Mithlinálwi, arrived the day of our Mereth en'Ehtelé, and the formal presentation of the party made upon the dais of my Great Hall.  Laustairë had been prepared by both Círdan and her lady's maid Nardanë to accept me unquestioning, and told I should no doubt press my suit immediately, as it would be a union political in nature; yet such were the accolades laid upon her image of me in her mind by Cirien and Araval she was eager; I knowing little of this, and preoccupied with the feasts and other visiting dignitaries, was unprepared for the sight she made approaching the dais.  O my Bandobras, I have never seen such a maid, nay, not even Undómiel, in whose form and features perfection lies!  She is tall, and her eyes shine like silver; her skin is the fairest abalone and her lips red as strawberries; her hair is blacker than the raven's wing and reflects back light as highly polished jet; when she moves her carriage is more graceful than any other I have seen, for she seems to dance even when walking, and the light within her eyes is jubilant and ingenuous.  She seems to me pure, untouched and unsullied, as though no hands but mine have been laid upon her, and she trembled so when first I held her by the hand I could feel the eagerness quivering through her very fingertips.  She gazes upon me with eyes clear and enchanted; her adoration is charming, and her voice hesitant and demure, and filled with expectant love.  All this overwhelmed me quite; I was ill-equipped to carry the sudden sinking of my stomach into my feet (Gimli tells me I turned "white about the gills;" I doubt that not) and unable to do much more than murmur her name back to her.  I did not realize this at the time, but ever were Galás and Kaimelas watching my face, and Nardanë her maid watching her own charge's; seeing the state of affairs, and whilst I attempted to know Laustairë better during the dance (the only manner in which one may speak to a maid in privacy is while dancing, so I was constrained to ask three times; unusual for me, I know, but I was guided by some mad compulsion) Nardanë, my seneschal, and my valet – curses upon them all three! – fixed not only our immediate betrothal, but a date set for the formal ceremony, and the wording of the official announcement!  Couriers have run to and fro between Gondor, Eryn Lasgalen and Mithlond at frenetic pace to solidify this agreement before I might come to my senses, and I have heard from Mithlinálwi that already Círdan and my Lord Father do negotiate a betrothal contract.  I feel as though I have been turned about in circles and set loose upon rocky ground, which spins and wobbles beneath my feet so that I can scarcely keep my eyes fixed upon one thing at a time.

So that is how this has happened – I am pressed into something I perchance might have pursued of my own accord, so I can scarce argue the point, yet still I feel constrained, and a little resentful of this.  And why did I stare so, and lose control of my tongue, when she was presented to me?  I have seen pretty maids before – indeed they have for all intents been thrown at my head these past two years – and I have never succumbed; there is perchance something in my betrothed that tips the balance, or, as Gimli avers, someone slipped a love-philter into my wine when I was not looking.  Well, perhaps that is the answer – I certainly feel, these past few weeks, that I have eaten something that fell foul of me, for my belly is so tied in knots I can hardly eat.  I managed to ask Laustairë if this state of affairs was to her liking, for I would be senseless indeed to allow this if she were unwilling; however her blush and stammer unmanned me, and she so assured me of her eagerness to be my bride that my pride swelled to incredible proportions.  Bandobras, what shall I do?  Shall I continue on in this (as my heart begs of me), and bid farewell to the life I have known, becoming bound to this woman for eternity?  Or shall I refuse (as my reason urges), and disappoint so many – my royal parents, Galás, Círdan, Faramir, Laustairë herself – and return to my old ways?  And should I do so, what of the Treaty?  For we have yet to sign it, Little One, though the debates go well – indeed I did feel from diverse things Mithlinálwi has said, that the wedding was primary, and the Treaty secondary to his order of tasks – should I renege, what of Cirien's interests in trade with Mithlond, much less my own? Would my objection at this point bring harm to its conclusion?  Would Mithlinálwi feel the offense and return unsatisfied to Círdan, destroying any hope of alliance?  I could object at this stage, you know, my dear Little One – for it was not I who negotiated the betrothal agreement but Galás, so I could have him withdraw his offer on my behalf.  If he would but listen, that is – when I complained to him and to Kaimelas, after I heard what they had done, Galás said in surprise:  "Why surely, my lord, we were not mistaken; you fell for the lady so hard I am surprised you did not bounce."  And Kaimelas laughed; I felt my face grow hot, and I remonstrated them, but Galás soothed me in that maddeningly impertinent way he has, causing me to feel alternately ashamed of my response and embarrassed of its cause; Kaimelas asked, "You do not want to marry her then?"  And in truth I could not simply say "No!" for I do not know what I want to do.  When I hesitated they both smiled and Galás said:  "Well, my lord, since you cannot make up your mind we shall make it for you!"  So as you can see I do not even know how to argue with them, for how may I debate a point upon which I am not fully certain?

How I wish you were here, my Bandobras!  Simply to have your presence by my side would pacify and comfort me, and you would alleviate my irritation and indecision; Gimli can do nothing, as he was constrained to return to Aglarond to mediate a dispute there, and Cirien fears to protest in deference to his own financial wellbeing.  Also you would look upon her with more critical eye, seeing perhaps beyond her mere physical form which has so confounded me, and you should be able to tell me whether I err or no.  For my reason does inform me this is far too quick a capitulation upon my part, and warns me against such hasty and unthinking ardor; yet deep within me, when I contemplate her aspect and think upon the many years of delight that might be mine, I am blissful and so full of rapture I can scarcely catch my breath.  I have never felt this way before, O my Little One; I do not know how I may appease this duality; it is very new to me.

Well I would write more of this but I find that far from soothing my mind in opening it to you I am all the more harrowed up; I shall write of some other subject and so distract myself from my unhappy ruminations.

You did tell me in your last letter, my Bandobras, of your work upon Long Bank, and the good things you accomplish there; how I wish I could work by your side, O my Little One, so that the task would be soon completed!  I am gratified to hear that repairs have begun on the smial across the river; it will be comforting for the Hobbits who live therein to know that their neighbors' fate shall not befall them too.  And the construction of a smooth lawn upon which the children shall play when the river is down, and the dyke to contain the water when it rises, is wise; commend Master Samwise for me, for it is a foresighted idea, though his detractors say he closes the stable door after the pony has escaped.  Also, dear Bandobras, when you speak of him you mention his "horde" of children – how many has he now?

And also upon the subject of children, my dear Bandobras, you did give to me in your last missive news of joyous import, that Cousin Meriadoc's Estella will once again produce for him an heir of the house of Brandybuck.  This is a marvelous thing, O my Little One, and I have sent to your cousin and his dear wife a gift that I trust shall bring cheer to their home; it trails the couriers and shall in all likelihood arrive by late Spring.  Please be you upon the watch for it, for it is passing large; also with it is a gift for you and for your dear mother, and one for your uncle, and for the family of Gamgee.  Should its size exceed the limits of your postal carrier's abilities to bring into Crickhollow I have left instructions it shall be in the care of that most excellent innkeeper in Bree, so that when it arrives you may go to fetch it. 

And now, though I would fain broach the subject of matrimony once more, I must needs ask how fares your uncle with his wooing of the Diamond of Long Cleeve; has he yet overcome her feelings of aversion to him, brought about (as you told me) by his unseemly haste?  For it did appear to me, from what you have written, Little One, that he turned so quickly from his anger to propitiating gifts; it is no wonder she views him askance, and thinks he perchance toys with her.  For a maid of lesser acumen the presents would serve to attract and not repel, but Diamond does seem to me to possess greater than average wisdom in these matters, and recognizes in your Uncle his reckless ways and careless affections do but mask a deeper and more profound spirit; she will settle for nothing less than his heart in its entirety, as well she should, for that is her just due.  Should he ask tell him flowers and sweets are all very well but what a maid ought truly to desire is honesty and sincerity of disposition; I cannot think any maid of character worthy of him would accept trifles instead.

Well, Little One, I am obliged to end; the next post is leaving and I desire to have this missive in your possession ere you hear of my betrothal through another venue and think I disdained your opinion!  Write to me immediately, I beg of you, my Bandobras, for I greatly long for your words; greater still is my need of your company, and should Diamond prove obdurate I beg your dear mother to allow you to come to me early, for I truly do not wish to wait any longer, I so miss my esquire.  Galás, the rake, sends his greetings, as does Kaimelas, and Seimiel and Hirilcúllas beg to be remembered to you, as do Meivel and sundry others.  Kaimelas has just told me to hurry, for I am still in my hunting-kit, and there is a feast tonight – another one, for Minardil, in Osgiliath, to which my entire household, my guests included, have been invited – and he has held my bath for me so long, he tells me, the water is tepid, and should I complain he shall only tell me the fault lies with his recalcitrant lord.  I wonder what glorious robe he shall garb me in this eve?  He has outdone himself since Laustairë's arrival; I am sure she thinks me vain as a peacock!

How I miss you, my dear Little One!

Your Master,

Legolas