Chapter 34. Beanpoles and Bedtime Snacks

Uncle Merimac bent to put a loaded plate in front of Pippin. 'Eat, lad,' he said. 'You look as if you'd blow away in a light breeze.'

Much laughter greeted the remark. The musicians started another lively tune and half the hobbits got up from the table to begin the dance.

'Now that you've shed yourself this beanpole, you'll be in need of a husband!' Merry's cousin Meliloc came up to say.

'It's much too soon after Pippin's narrow escape from me, to be thinking of marriage!' Estella retorted with a smile. 'You will have to talk to me about it later.'

Meliloc turned away with a grin to join the dance, and Estella shook her head. Merry heard her mutter, 'Much later!' The hobbits sitting around them erupted in laughter.

Estella smiled at Pippin. 'I think I will excuse myself, my former beloved.'

He reached out to take her hand, speaking his thanks with his eyes, fingers squeezing hers gently.

She pulled her hand from his. 'That's all very well... Now eat! Before I take up your spoon and feed you!'

Laughing, he complied, and she walked away.

After a few bites, Pippin looked down at Diamond beside him. 'I think handfasting is a good idea, don't you?' he said. 'The sooner the better, I'd say.'

She laughed up at him, 'I should say so! Before the Thain gets the idea of auctioning you off to the highest bidder!'

Everyone at the table chuckled but Pippin. 'That's not so far-fetched,' he said soberly.

'Who's the lucky lass to be?' cousin Celandine called across the table.

Pippin smiled down at Diamond. 'I do not think I will have to look far,' he replied.

Diamond felt her heart leap. 'Don't you have to ask my father?'

'He has already given his blessing.'

'Well who am I to argue, then? After all, my father is always right.'

'Until you get married,' he said. 'Then your husband is always right.'

'Oh, aye,' she said with a chuckle, nestling against him. 'Indeed.'

Hobbits' laughter washed around them, accented by the joyful music and bright swirling dance.

***

Sometime later in the evening, Esmeralda saw her son excuse himself and take his leave of the celebration. She squeezed her husband's hand and he followed her gaze.

'Off on another ride,' he said.

'Oh, Saradoc,' she murmured. 'How long will our son be alone?'

He had no answer, but patted her hand. 'Meriadoc will be well,' was all he could answer.

***

Merry reached the stables to find Estella feeding pieces of apple to Jewel, with cousins Merimas and Pansy her escorts this evening.

'Hello,' she said, looking up with a smile at his step. 'I'm just feeding my favourite lads a little snack before they get tucked up for the night.'

Merimas laughed. 'It's early yet,' he said, still chuckling. 'Many's the night Jewel wanders under the stars. He's only half pony, you know,' he teased. 'The other half is owl, I think.'

'As is his rider,' Pansy added.

'Oh, no, I merely go along to keep him out of trouble,' Merry said with a grin.

Estella's laughter chimed softly.

Pansy looked up at Merimas. 'Husband?' she asked. 'D'you really think that Wingfoot is going to win the pony races this year? Jewel is looking awfully fit.'

'Let us go and ask him,' Merimas replied, and hand in hand they wandered down the line of stalls.

Merry watched Estella offer apple slices to Jewel. When she was finished, she caressed the crooked stripe running down the pony's face, then gathered up the long forelock, braided it quickly and tucked it up. 'There!' she said. 'If you are to take a ramble in the middle night you ought to be able to see your feet.'

She turned to Merry with a sigh, 'It has been a good visit, for the most part.' She turned back to the pony, fingers playing with his silky mane. 'I will miss my lads,' she said. 'D'you suppose they'll miss me at all?'

'They won't be the only ones,' Merry answered. He did not see her tense in the semidarkness. He went on, 'Half the Hall will miss you when you go.'

Her shoulders slumped, but she quickly straightened and turned back to him with a bright smile that seemed to light the darkness. 'And the other half will be saying, 'Good riddance to that hard-hearted lass! How could she throw over fine Master Took that way!'

'The way they are celebrating in the Hall this night makes me think they are not feeling too sorry for poor Master Took this evening.'

Exasperated, she said, 'And would I have made him such a terrible wife? He'd have made me such a dashing husband!'

He laughed, and her mouth relaxed into a smile again. 'I must admit, the idea of being the Thain's wife was a tempting one. Of course, Pippin would have to survive to be Thain... if all of Tuckborough didn't kick us out and lock the door behind us. That dusty old place, with its dusty old rooms always brought out the worst in me. It needs a grand sweeping out.' She grinned mischievously up at Merry. 'I might not have been quite the wisest choice on the old Thain's part...'

'What do you mean?'

She didn't answer, but turned back to the braids she was making in Jewel's mane, saying to the pony's neck, 'Did you hear old Ferdinand's teeth have gone missing again?'

Hearing Merry's laughter ring out over the quiet stalls, Pansy turned to her husband with a wistful look. 'Oh, I wish...'

He squeezed her hand. 'I know.' He put an arm around her waist and she leaned into his shoulder.

Back in front of Jewel's stall, Merry mused, 'Pippin said I would need someone to take care of me when he's gone.'

'Oh? Is he planning on dying soon?' Estella asked idly, then nodded to herself. 'Oh, of course, of a broken heart. I nearly forgot. I've left him in the dust and the thought of him hardly crosses my mind any more.' She smiled at Merry again. 'Unless you mean The Took is going to kill him when he finds out I will not be bringing my fortune with me to the Great Smials.'

'He is too young to marry...'

'Ah, yes, but it would have been a marvellous handfasting.' She sighed, 'My mother had the loveliest dress made up, and Freddy had charge of the feast... and you know how he is about food, and how it must be,' here she dropped her voice to its huskiest tones, the better to imitate her brother, '...the highest quality and elegant presentation, (he's still defying the Lockholes, as you know, and likely will be for the rest of his life),' and returning to her natural voice added, '... all wasted now.'

In that moment, memory arose in Merry, not only Fatty Bolger's courage in defying the ruffians, and the high price he paid, but of Estella, as well. He thought of her courage and resourcefulness on the dangerous journey, escaping to the free Tookland during the dark days of the Troubles. He remembered her living there disguised as a half-grown lad after Ferdibrand Took left her with a family near the border, and did not return to bring her the rest of the way to the relative safety of the Great Smials. He remembered her loyalty, and fierce determination to nurse her brother back to life, to help him recover all that he'd lost in the Lockholes, and more. Mingled gratitude and admiration rose in him as he thought back over the past few days: her bright and cheerful mien, her obvious determination to make Pippin the best wife in her power to be, though it was evident enough that Pippin did not love her as she... as she...

His thoughts stuttered to a stop. Estella had been bright, cheerful, loving? ...even though there had always been a tinge of mischief to her words and looks. She never had loved Pip, Merry thought, the realisation washing over him like a cloudburst.

She had turned back to her braiding, her brow furrowed in concentration, eyes fixed on her flying fingers, and did not seem conscious of his intent look.

Suddenly, events of the past came clear to him, as sun breaking through clouds brings a meadow to sparkling brightness, and he drew a shallow breath, hearing a snort from one of the ponies, the knock of a hoof against a wall, the voices of Pansy and Merimas, a murmur followed by shared laughter.

Estella-the-pest, or Midge, as Frodo had called her, half-loving, half-teasing, and he could almost hear her you great donkey! in reply -- she had followed them everywhere, up hill and down, making a complete nuisance of herself...

A sense of wonder seized him and he breathed more deeply, dizzy, as he realized he'd been holding his breath. You're the great donkey, never to have seen it before, he told himself. He looked at her in the shadowy light of the stables, seeing together in one somehow, the Midge, and Twig the "boy", and Tilly the nurse, and Estella herself, a force to be reckoned with, unafraid, even, of the Thain and his influence -- giving Pip his freedom to marry Diamond, whom he loved, with no hope for her own happiness... Merry had never seen her, really seen her, paid her any mind, and yet she remained true in the face of his blindness.

He felt now as if blinders had been taken from his eyes, and a clear light shone in his heart, and lit his face, as he began to tremble with realisation. He mastered himself with an effort.

Could he be worthy of such a love?

'...all wasted now,' she repeated, lower, as if to herself, or perhaps the pony.

'It wouldn't have to go to waste,' Merry said gently.

She caught her breath and looked up at him.

He stumbled over his next words. Perhaps he had not quite mastered himself, but he plunged ahead with determination, not quite sure what to say, but bent on saying it, no matter the consequences. 'I... I may not be quite as dashing as my cousin, but... if you'd have me...'

She turned from the pony, wiped her hands absently on her skirts, and held them out to Merry, who took her hands in his.

The brightness of her smile dazzled him. 'If I'd have you?' she whispered, radiant with joy, no longer concealing her feelings for him behind cool mischief. 'Why do you think I was such a pest, following you all over Budgeford all those years ago?'

Merimas and Pansy smiled to hear the laughter pealing from the two in front of Jewel's stall.