Nine Ladies Dancing #9

Title: A Fairy Tale

Fandom:  LOTR

Rating:  G

Characters:  Merry, Estella, Fredegar, Sam, Rose, Diamond, and Pippin

Summary:  Story telling on a rainy day at Crickhollow two years or so after the quest.

                                             "A Fairy Tale"

“Just tell it,” Diamond teased.  “I think you’re stalling.”  She arched an eyebrow at him and leaned forward putting her nose just inches from his.

“I am not stalling, I am just deciding where to begin,” Pippin countered, as he shifted on the sofa.  “You can’t just start these things anywhere you like.”  He leaned back against the sofa and put a finger to his chin as if thinking the matter over.

Diamond laughed and sat back in her place, straightening her skirts.  “Fine, then start it at the proper place, but just get on with it if you please.  I have never known a proper Took who had this much trouble starting a story,” she said, with a wink at Estella who was seated in a rocker near the fireplace.

“Yes, well, Diamond, you should be warned that Pippin isn’t a proper Took at all,” Estella said.  “Proper isn’t a word we use to describe him.”

“Behave, Estella Bolger, or you’ll not get a story a’tall,” Pippin said, pretending to be injured by her remark.

“Just tell the story,” Merry laughed, as he put another log on the fire.  “It’s a rainy afternoon and the perfect time for a nice story, so get on with it, Peregrin.”

“Yes, Pippin,” Fredegar Bolger sighed, lighting his pipe.  “But tell something we haven’t heard a million times or I am likely to doze off in the middle of it all.”  He leaned back against the sofa at Pippin’s feet and yawned.

“You’ll go to sleep even if you haven’t heard it, Freddy dearest,” Estella smiled at her older brother.

Pippin cleared his throat and shifted on the sofa again and said, “I think I have it!”

“About time,” Merry said.  “Just be certain that you sit still and don’t move that ankle too much.  The healer said that you aren’t to stir about for a few days without help.”

“I’m not getting up, you old fuss-budget,” Pippin frowned.  “Now, let me tell this lovely story before Freddy dies of boredom.”

Sam chuckled and squeezed Rose’s hand.  “This is takin’ longer than it would take me to go to Hobbiton and fetch back a good book.”

As Rose giggled, Pippin began his story.

“Once, not so long ago, in a land known as Tookland, there lived a very powerful Thain.  This Thain had four children, three daughters, each more lovely than the last, and a very handsome son,” Pippin said.

Merry groaned.  “I may be sick.”

“Hush, Merry, this could be entertaining,” Estella giggled.  “After all, so far it seems to be entirely made up.”  She smirked at Pippin who chose to ignore her as the others laughed.

Pippin continued.  “Now, the Thain was concerned that his only son and heir was as yet unwed.  So, the Thain decided to gave a great Ball and invite all of the most eligible lasses from all four farthings so that his very handsome son could chose a bride.  He sent out very formal invitations by special messenger requesting that everyone come to his great Palace in the Tooklands for the Ball.”

“Palace?” Merry asked.

“Tis a fairy tale, Merry,” Pippin said.  ‘There are always Palaces in fairy tales.”

“Oh, excuse me,” Merry said, rolling his eyes.  “Go on.”

“Now, the Thain’s son wasn’t too sure that he wanted to marry,” Pippin said.  “You see, he was ever so popular and so he had plenty of lasses who enjoyed his company.  He wasn’t sure that he was ready to settle down and marry.  In fact, he was quite set against it.”

“Maybe he just hadn’t met the right lass,” Diamond said, smiling.

Pippin ignored this and continued.  “He didn’t really want to go to the Ball, but he could see no way out of it and so, on the night of the Ball, he dressed in his finest apparel and presented himself in proper form for all of the lasses of the Shire to look upon.”

Merry snorted and Sam rolled his eyes, but Pippin continued anyway, undaunted.

“The music was quite good and the Thain had provided a feast fit for a King, for indeed, the Thain was like a great King.  So, it rained food and drink throughout the entire Ball and all of the hobbits present were mightily impressed.  None had seen anything like it before in all of their days.  As the young, very handsome heir, who just by coincidence, happened to be named Peregrin, entered the Ball room, he felt all of the eyes of every lass turn to gaze upon him.”

“Are you asleep yet, Freddy?” Merry asked, in a whisper.  “Because I am about to be sick.”

“Not yet,” Freddy said.  “I want to see if the handsome heir gets married before I doze off.”

“Someone appreciates a fine story,” Pippin said.  “Now, where was I before Merry so rudely interrupted?”

“Every eye of every lass was on the handsome heir,” Diamond said.

“Yes, that’s right,” Pippin said.  “You see, all of the lasses were very interested in trying to be the one to marry the young lad because all of them wanted to be the wife of the future Thain of the Shire, and there was the fact that Peregrin was irresistible and very charming.”  Pippin winked at Diamond who pretended not to notice.  “So, when the dancing began, all of the most eligible lasses all lined up to dance with him.  He was very selective about who he would dance with and so he went down the line and selected the very loveliest of the lasses and sent the rest away to dance with his rather ugly cousin, Meriadoc.”

Merry glared at him.  “Now, just a minute.”

“It’s only a story, Merry and the ugly lad just happens to have the same name that you do,” Pippin said, smiling.  “It isn’t my fault.”

“You are the one telling the story,” Merry said.

“I’m telling it,” Pippin said.  “You don’t really think that I made this up do you?”

Everyone in the room answered, “Yes!”

“Oh, well, imagine that,” Pippin said, still smiling.  “Anyway, to continue. Where was I again?”

“Inches from a dreadful beating,” Merry said, glaring at him.

“The handsome Peregrin had just sent all of the unsuitable lasses over to dance with his ugly cousin, Meriadoc,” Freddy said, grinning at Merry.

“Right then,” Pippin said.  “That only left him with nine of the fairest lasses in all of the Shire to chose from.  So, he began to dance with the lasses to see which ones he liked.  The first lass that he danced with was a fair lass by the name of Estella.”

“He didn’t!” Diamond objected in mock horror.

“Oh, yes he did,” Pippin said, smiling at Estella who sighed.

“Why didn’t Peregrin the boring send Estella off to dance with Meriadoc?” Merry asked.

“Because she was far too lovely for the likes of him,” Pippin said, loftily.

“That may well be true,” Estella agreed with a smile at Merry.

“It may indeed,” Merry grinned.

“Estella was quite hooured by Peregrin’s attentions and enjoyed the dance very much as Peregrin was a very fine dancer and the music was quite wonderful,” Pippin said.

Estella was now rolling her eyes and Rose was trying very hard not to giggle too loudly.  Diamond had folded her arms and was trying to look injured but Pippin continued as if he hadn’t noticed this. 

“When Peregrin had finished dancing with the lovely Estella, he then invited another lovely lass to dance with him.  This lass was very fair indeed and also a very fine dancer.  Her name was Rose,” Pippin smiled over at Rose and received a warning glare from Sam.

“I don’t think Rose is eligible,” Merry warned.  “She’s married to Samwise, remember?”

“Not the Rose in this story, Merry,” Pippin said.  “The Rose in this story isn’t married at all and she is more than happy to dance with the handsome young heir.  In fact, she was just ever so slightly offended that she wasn’t chosen to dance with him first.”

“Why are we listenin’ to this hogwash again?” Sam asked, looking less than amused.

“Because it’s raining and Pippin has injured his ankle,” Merry sighed. 

“Let him finish,” Rose smiled, squeezing Sam’s hand and giving him a kiss on the cheek that made him blush.  “It is only a story.”

“Where was I” Pippin asked, scratching his head.

“Dancing with Rose,” Diamond said, annoyed.

“Oh, yes,” Pippin said.  “The handsome Peregrin danced several dances with the lovely Rose before he danced with the next lass in the line.  He had decided that he would dance with them all so as not to disappoint any of them as some of them had come a very long way just to dance with him.”

“A wasted trip,” Merry smirked.

Pippin ignored him and went on.  “Peregrin had soon danced with all nine of the lasses and sadly, had found none of them to his liking.  Oh, he had tried to like them, but he just couldn’t.  He was very depressed.  Even his rather ugly cousin, Meriadoc seemed to be having a better time than he was.  Peregrin had decided that he would have to spend his whole life going from one party to another with a different lass each evening and never being truly happy.  Oh, he was popular and handsome and terribly rich and intelligent-“

“See, I told you it was completely made up,” Estella whispered to Merry who grinned.

“I heard that,” Pippin said, sternly.  “Now, be quiet so I can finish this, Estella.  Now where was I this time?”

“You were going on and on about how rich and handsome Peregrin is,” Diamond said.

“Well, he was,” Pippin said.  “But he wasn’t happy and neither was the Thain when he found out that Peregrin didn’t like any of the lasses at the Ball.  The Thain was fit to be tied in fact and he threatened to disown his handsome son because he was afeart that he’d never have any grandsons.  In fact, the Thain was so angry that he gave Peregrin an ultimatum, either find a bride before the stroke of midnight, or leave the Palace and never return.”

“The Thain is rather harsh isn’t he?” Freddy asked, yawning.

“You have no idea,” Pippin agreed.  “So, feeling dejected, Peregrin decided to dance with the nine lasses again, only, it seems that Estella had left the Ball in disgrace because she had become so upset when Peregrin didn’t take to her.”

“Pippin, you are about to be in very big trouble,” Estella said, sharply.

“At least you’re not ugly,” Merry grinned at her.

“At least you’re in the story,” Diamond sniffed. 

“Well, since Estella had left, Peregrin had to find another lass to take her place as he had his heart set on nine.  So his very helpful friend, Fredegar, suggested that he pick a young lass who had been late in arriving because her carriage had broken down.  Fredegar said that the poor, dear, lass was very upset because she had missed dancing with Peregrin and she was near to broken hearted over it all, so being a proper gentleman, Peregrin agreed to see this lass,” Pippin said.

“Seems that the Fredegar in the story gets far more respect than I do,” Freddy said, amused.  “Folks listen to him.”

“Aye, important folks, like the Thain’s heir,” Pippin said, smiling.  “So, Fredegar takes Peregrin over to meet this young lass.  Well, the lass is not at her best because she was forced to walk when her carriage broke down and so her dress is a bit muddy and her hair has come down out of its lovely ribbons and she is all tired and a bit sweaty.  She’s a real mess, but she curtseys to the heir and does the best that she can because she is very grateful just to have a chance to dance with him.”

“You mean he dances with her?  I figured he would send her over to dance with his ugly cousin,” Merry said, pretending to be shocked.

“Oh, no he is a gentleman and he knows that she has been through quite a lot just to see him and so, naturally he grants her one dance,” Pippin said.

“Naturally,” Sam groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Well, he takes her in his arms and they began to dance and he is instantly struck by how lovely she is in spite of how dirty she is and so he asks her what her name might be because his good friend, Fredegar forgot to tell him that as he is often a bit muddle-headed,” Pippin said, patting Fredegar on the head.

“The Fredegar in the story is not ugly, he is just simple-minded,” Freddy said, looking over at Merry.

“So it seems,” Merry agreed.

“The lass smiles and tells the very handsome Peregrin that her name is Diamond and that she is so very honored to meet him and so sorry about her-ouch!  That is my sore foot,” Pippin winced as Diamond hit him lightly in the ankle.  “You are quite wicked, you know.”

“Sorry, it was only an accident,” Diamond said, sweetly while Merry and Sam laughed.

“Well, the Diamond in the story would never have done that,” Pippin said.

“I am most assuredly not that Diamond,” Diamond said, firmly.

“Anyway, Peregrin decides that if Diamond will clean up a bit and put on some proper clothes that he will indeed marry her because even though she is completely filthy, she is still the loveliest lass at the Ball,” Pippin said.

“Estella went home,” Estella whispered to Merry who smiled at her.

“This makes the Thain very happy and it also makes Diamond the happiest hobbit lass in all of the Shire and all of the other lasses are very jealous of her because she is marrying the handsome Peregrin.  And Peregrin and Diamond live happily after after.  The end,” Pippin said.  “Now, wasn’t that a wonderful story?”

“No,” Sam said, and everyone laughed while Pippin pretended to be insulted.

“Well, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Diamond admitted.  “I’m sorry I hit you in the ankle.”

“That’s alright,” Pippin smiled.

“Now, I think I shall tell a story,” Merry said, smiling.  “Once upon a time there was a half-wit named Pippin who-“

“I don’t think I am going to like this one,” Pippin objected.

“No, but everyone else might enjoy it,” Merry grinned.  “Now, pay attention.  This poor, ugly half-wit……..”

The End

G.W.     01/03/2005