Chapter Thirty: Passing of the Gaffer

A/N:  I've moved this from where it was since I realized that it was out of proper chronological order and I’ve added Frodo’s reaction to it.  You can just skip to that part if you want.  I won't mind. :)

My Gaffer died in the night, my dear. Rose and I were there with my sisters. Mrs. Cotton watched over the little ones while we were there. I was holding his hand and telling him that he was a grandfather again. He smiled at that and then he breathed his last. I kissed his brow and then I cried, I cried harder than I have since you left. He had lived a long, full life and had enjoyed his grandchildren, but as you know so very well, my dear, it’s never easy losing a parent at any age. His joints had been bothering him something awful the last couple years and last winter was the worst so I was glad that he had relief from that now, but still how it hurt! Rose held me for a long time and cried with me. I remember how you held me when my Mum died and I could almost feel you doing it now and your sorrow as well. Then I laid him out and today we buried him, right next to Mum. I knelt for a long time at both graves. I put out new flowers and cleared away some of the moss that had begun to grow. I traced the names of them both and told them how much I missed them and loved them. I cried again, but then I got up and went back home. Marigold is going to live in Number 3 for a little while longer at least. I don’t know what I’m going to do when that is sold and another part of my life is over. But I suppose it will make it easier to leave here when I do, one less thing to say goodbye to.

Goodnight, my dear. I don’t know how well I’ll sleep, but I hope you do. I love you. I wish you were here.

* * *

What is it, Sam? I felt last night some terrible pain from you. It woke me up and I was halfway out of my room to run to you and comfort you until I remembered where I was. It hit me that hard then that you are not here, not a moment away whenever I needed you and now I am not where you need me. How I wish I could be there with you, to hold you and help you through whatever it is. It’s not Rose, is it, or any of the children? I closed my eyes and prayed out loud right then and there, harder than I have for anything that it’s not any of them. I received some measure of assurance that it wasn’t and my heart eased some, but still I cried for you, for myself. The Gaffer then? How I wish you could have been here to hold me when Bilbo died. I hope you can feel me hold you now.