~The Pirates of Bag End: Part One~

Merry and Pippin gasped. “Repeat that again, Sam?” they said. Frodo chuckled.

“I said, ‘My mum said as how I’m a bit obsessed with stories of elves and such, so I’m takin’ a break from that, an’ not talkin’ or readin’ or playin’ about elves for a while,” Sam replied, glancing at the two mute hobbits.

“Wow, that’s… interesting,” Pippin said. He turned to Frodo. “Think he’ll last?”

Frodo shrugged. “Don’t know. Sam can be pretty stubborn when he puts his mind to it.” He grinned at his younger cousin. “So what are we going to do then?” Frodo asked, looking from his cousins to Sam.

Sam shrugged.

Merry looked thoughtful.

Pippin grinned mischievously. “Let’s play pirates!” he said.

“Pirates?” Frodo questioned.

“Yes! Merry and I play it all the time! You know, sea thieves and such. They wear handkerchiefs on their heads, and eye patches and captain ships and steal all the treasure from other pirates and bury it on islands in the middle of no where!” Pippin said. “It’s lots of fun, really! You just have to find costumes and treasure which I’m sure we can find things in your mathom rooms, Frodo!”

Frodo turned to Sam. “What do you think, Sam?”

Sam smiled. “I think is sounds perfect, Mr. Frodo!”

“All right,” Frodo consented. “Pirates it is. Lead on, Pippin. We’ll get the things together first, then we can pick names.”

They gathered a ton of stuff from the mathom rooms; handkerchiefs and hats and bottles and trunks and even some gold pieces Bilbo had shoved away in a back closet.

Merry, Sam and Frodo picked their names quickly, but Pippin was so intrigued by the treasure that he hadn’t even heard them.

“Pippin! I asked what your name was going to be!” Merry yelled in his cousin’s ear.

“What?”

“We’ve already got our names, what’s yours?”

“Jack!” Pippin said, the first name that came into his mind.

“Jack what? We’ve got two names,” Sam said.

Pippin couldn’t think of a name. He glanced outside and saw a small bird landed on the windowsill. “Jack Sparrow!” he said.

“Sparrow? What kind of a name is that?” Merry asked skeptically.

“A bird name,” Pippin said sheepishly.

“Whoever heard of a bird name?” Merry stated.

“HEY! A peregrine is a bird!” Pippin complained.

“Oh, right. I forgot. Sorry, Pip.” Merry blushed. “Fine, Jack Sparrow it is. I’m Merry the Magnificent, Sam’s Will Silver, and Frodo’s James Flint.”

“Merry the Magnificent? Sounds more like a king’s title than a pirate name,” Pippin said.

“All right, you two, enough fighting over names, let’s get our costumes on,” Frodo said, tossing each of them a handkerchief to tie around their heads.

Pippin put his on, then dove into the pile of clothing, coming out with a bit hat, which he lopsidedly thumped on his head, and an old wine bottle that he thought looked interesting.

“What, Pip, bring your ale with you?” Frodo said, jokingly.

Pippin laughed. “Fro, pirates don’t drink ale, they drink rum!” he said, raising the bottle in a tipsy manner.

“If you say so, Jack Sparrow,” Frodo said, grinning.

“That’s what I say, James Flint,” Pippin retorted.

“So, who’ll be the captain, Mr. Frodo?” Sam asked.

“I will! Captain Jack Sparrow!” Pippin said, leaping up so fast he almost fell over again.

“But I think…” Merry began.

“Come on, Mer, let him be captain,” Frodo said. “You know we always get the best characters when we play…” Frodo glanced at Sam a moment, “Other things.”

Sam grinned at his friend. “You can say it if’n you want, but I won’t answer you.”

“What’ll be our ship?” Merry asked. “At home we have a ton of old crates we use.”

“How about the whole parlor is the ship,” Frodo said. “And the other rooms can be different islands we travel to.”

This they quickly agreed to, and Pippin dubbed the arm chair as the captain’s wheel, from where he steered the ship.

“We’re headed to an island called…” Pippin searched his mind for a name, but couldn’t think of one.

“Gandalf!” Merry finished for him.

Pippin shrugged, then yelled. “All hands on deck! Make ready to sail for…Gandalf!”

“What’s in Gandalf, Mr. Pippin?” Sam asked.

“That’s Jack Sparrow, not Pippin, Will Silver!” Pippin said, brandishing his bottle at Sam.

“Sorry, Jack,” Sam said with a grin. “What’s in Gandalf?”

Pippin thought a moment. “A necklace! A necklace that will… help… you rescue your girlfriend!”

Sam blushed bright red. “I ain’t got a girlfriend, Mr. Sparrow,” he said.

“What about Rosie?” Pippin asked with an evil glint in his eye.

“Rosie isn’t my girlfriend. She’s just a…”

“She’s coming up the walk right now!” Frodo called from the window. He headed to the door and opened it. “Hello, Rosie, how are you this morning?”

“Fine, Mr. Frodo. I just come up to see if ye needed anything since Mr. Bilbo is away,” she said, trying not to giggle at how Frodo looked.

“We’re playing pirates,” he explained. “You want to join us?”

Rosie shrugged. “Why not? How do I play?”

“You get to be Sam’s girlfriend that we have to go rescue!” Pippin piped up from where he stood atop the captain’s wheel.

Frodo rummaged through the pile of things, then tossed Rosie a leather belt that had strips of leather hanging from it, and a hat. “Here, put these on,” he said. “What shall your name be?”

“I don’t know. What kind of names do girl pirates have?” Rosie asked, tying the belt around her waist, and settling the hat on her head.

“Call her Elizabeth,” Merry said. “Just because it’s all I can think of at the moment.”

“Pleasure, Miss Elizabeth,” Pippin said, coming up and bowing to her. “I am Captain Jack Sparrow, this is Will, James, and Merry the Magnificent,” he said, introducing them all. “I’m the captain, Will’s my first mate, Merry’s just an extra hand, and Frodo’s the evil pirate.”

“Since when did I have to be evil, Pippin?” Frodo demanded, laughing.

“Since I said so! I am captain, after all!” Pippin replied. “So you kidnap her, and take her to the island of Gandalf, and then Merry, Will and I have to rescue her!”

“All right, well, come Elizabeth, I’m afraid I must kidnap you!” Frodo said, taking her wrist and heading out of the room, running right into the wizard they had named an island.

“It doesn’t count! The Island is moving!” Frodo said, grinning back at Pippin.

“What are you playing, lads?” Gandalf questioned, looking at them curiously. “And lass, I see! Beg pardon, Rosie, I didn’t see you there.”

“We’re playin’ pirates, Mr. Gandalf!” Sam said, brandishing his wooden sword.

“I see,” Gandalf replied. “And I am an island, I take it?”

Pippin nodded and said, “The Island of Gandalf! That’s where Frodo’s kidnapped Elizabeth to!”

“Ah, Frodo is playing the evil pirate,” Gandalf concluded.

“Yes! And Elizabeth’s Sam’s girlfriend!” Pippin added.

Rosie flushed bright red, and Sam said, “She ain’t, Mr. Pippin! We’re just friends!”

“Sure you are!” Pippin retorted, grinning.

Gandalf nodded. “I see. Well, I assume even pirates need to stop for luncheon, don’t you?” he asked.

Pippin and Merry were immediately following Gandalf out of the room, Frodo, Sam and Rosie following behind a bit more slowly.

“Well, I think their minds will be occupied for a little while at least!” Frodo commented. “And then it’s back to the sea!”

Sam laughed. “We’d best hurry before they eat all the food there is!”

And they dashed into the kitchen.

 ~Finis~