CHAPTER 9: Midnight Meeting

Frodo lay in bed, fighting the horrible images that crowded his mind. He was very afraid to go to sleep tonight and had full intentions of not sleeping at all. But he was simply exhausted from entertaining Halmir and his boisterous cousins all day. So Frodo closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to relax. He knew that as long as Sam knew he was awake, the faithful young gardener would not close his eyes. So to distract himself, Frodo pondered over the events of the day. He had tried to hide his melancholy under a cloak of merriment, and he thought he had succeeded remarkably well. After breakfast he, Sam, and Halmir had taken Anna out to the garden, where they had remained until luncheon, when Merry and Pippin had come to drag them in, insisting they would all perish if they missed another meal. When their appetites had been sated, the Hobbits and Halmir participated in a game of Blind Man’s Bluff, and then had proceeded to play Hide-and-Seek in the spacious guest house.

Finally, when Sam was satisfied with Frodo's "sleep", his breath evened out and Frodo sighed with relief. Knowing full well that Sam would not be fully asleep for a while yet, Frodo resorted to any mental game he could think of to keep his mind from straying too close to the boundaries of the appalling dream. Despite his efforts, brief, vivid images bombarded his mind and the feeling of guilt and unutterable shame, horror, and grief would not leave his heart. He knew it was just a dream, but it had seemed so real. What scared Frodo the most was that, had it not been for Gollum's greed, the dream more than likely would have become a reality. He shuddered at the thought, and then listened carefully to Sam's breathing. He was finally in a deep enough sleep for Frodo to leave for a while and not be missed. Frodo was thankful that Sam was sleeping in a different bed and would not feel Frodo leave.

He slipped from his bed and stealthily made his way out to his favorite place in the garden. He had discovered it soon after their arriving. It was a serene place where the trees formed a circle around a sort of glade. Their welcoming branches formed a canopy with a few patches in which one could lie on one's back and gaze at the stars. Frodo often did this, enjoying the cool grass gently tickling his body as his thoughts wandered. The stars were especially bright tonight, Frodo observed from his window. The little jewels dusted the sky, and Frodo fancied he reach out and touch them.

Frodo thankfully reached his destination without hindrance. But to his surprise, he found that he was not the only one who had discovered the secluded haven of peace. A small figure about the size of Merry and Pippin was lying on it's stomach in the grass. It was not a Hobbit, for the feet swinging lazily in the air had no fur, and the hair on the head was not curly. Halmir.

"So, I'm not the only one to have found this place," Frodo whispered as he plopped down next to the lad. He spoke lightly, but concern filled his eyes.

Halmir sat up with a start. "Frodo! I didn't hear you…wait! What are you doing awake at this hour?"

"I should be asking you that, young rascal! And out of bed, too! You'll get a tongue lashing, you know."

"Hah! And I suppose you won't?"

This Frodo left unanswered, for an image of Halmir's slain body had suddenly crossed his mind, and he looked down, trying desperately to hold back a sudden cry of terror. This did not go unnoticed by his young friend. "You can't sleep, can you?"

Frodo didn't answer.

The boy knew full well what his hero was going through. Gently he took Frodo's chin in his hand and tipped it so that the Hobbit was forced to look at him, and for the first time, a good deal of the torture and pain often concealed in the blue depths was revealed to him. It was enough to bring tears to Halmir’s eyes. Now he saw that Aragorn was right. Frodo had suffered so much more than he. The lad's heart was suddenly flooded with emotions: love for this halfling that had given his very soul to a torture worse than death for all of Middle Earth, despair that this small hero would never know true peace again, hope that the despair was in vain, and a longing to protect him from anything that threatened him. All this passed in a moment, and Frodo only saw a sudden love mingled with tears well up in the boys eyes.

"Halmir, I'm sorry....you can't sleep either, can you? Do you want to tell me about it?"

Halmir shook his head. "No, I was just too excited to sleep is all. I was thinking about you. Hoping…hoping you wouldn't have that nightmare again." he ended in a very quiet, almost frightened tone that Frodo recognized as one that has experienced some form of deep heartache. He squeezed the boy's hand and it was returned. "But, Frodo…"

"Yes?"

"Do…do you want to…to tell me what it was about?" He sounded sheepish.

Frodo closed his eyes hoping to avoid the fresh attack of scenes and emotions. He shook his head. "I can't."

Halmir looked into Frodo's eyes and said, "Sometimes, it helps to tell someone about what is bothering us."

Frodo shook his head. "But it's too terrible…"

"Mine was too, until I told. It was hard to do at first, but when it was over, it was as if the burden was lifted a little."

Frodo looked up at this. Burden lifted…how much had he longed for that since he had taken the Ring? How much had he wished that the burden on his soul could be destroyed when the Ring was destroyed? This was something pretty small, and he knew that it would not completely be gone. But even its being lifted a little would be a relief to his tortured soul. Halmir only kept looking at him with love and understanding. Frodo felt yet again as he had felt on several occasions before, that he had a kindred spirit in this young lad. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea…

Drawing a deep breath, Frodo proceeded. "I…I was on mount Doom, after I had taken…claimed the Ring. Only…"He closed his eyes and paused. Halmir waited patiently, not loosening his grip on his friend’s hand. "Only, I had a sword. It was strange. It seemed some outside force moved my hands…I…I killed Gollum. The Dark Lord's voice called me…"Here he paused as a tear slid down his thin cheek. The tear twinkled in the starlight, And Halmir reached up with his free hand to gently wipe it away. Frodo continued shakily. "He…he called me his good and faithful servant. Than he had me…he had me…kill all those who were dear to me! It was as if some outside force made me, and…I didn't have the strength or will to overcome it. Slaughtered them, Halmir, with my own hands! It was…I then wasn't aloud to kill myself. That's when I woke up."

The tears now were streaming from both pairs of eyes. The brokenness, hopelessness in Frodo's voice had moved Halmir deeply. Out of instinct, he drew Frodo close to him and held him for a long while. Frodo returned the embrace. Hobbit and lad sat there for a good while, two kindred spirits, sharing in each other's pain and taking more comfort in that than in many other things.

Finally, Frodo came to his senses and drew out of the brotherly embrace. "Halmir," he whispered, "We had better get you back to bed, or Sam and Gandalf shall have both our heads."

Halmir nodded and the two stole along in companionable silence. Frodo helped Halmir into his large bed as best he could and climbed up so he could properly tuck him in. The Hobbit bent close to the lad's ear and whispered, "Good-night, dear little brother. Hannon le!"

"Good-night." Halmir smiled as the Ringbearer brushed a kiss against his forehead and crept silently from the room.

Shortly after, the Merry came soundlessly to the door, and upon seeing his young charge was awake he approached his bed. "Halmir," he began.

"I know I should be sleeping, Merry, but…"

He held out his hand to stop him. "Of course, you shouldn’t be awake this late. I woke because I heard something, and came to check on you. But...I passed Frodo in the hall. He didn’t look that well. Do you know why?"

"Yes?"

" My cousin obviously has been weeping. I figured he couldn’t sleep because of his former nightmare. He also informed me that he had talked with you in the garden and that he took full responsibility for your late hours. What did you two speak of to make him weep?"

Merry detected in Halmir's large brown eyes sorrow for their dear friend. It spilled over in the form of tears. "First of all, he is not responsible for the hour. I am. We simply had a chance meeting in the garden. He told me his dream." Halmir ended with a note of sadness.

"Would you tell it to me? Don’t worry, Halmir. I won’t let him know that you told me. He does not bare his soul so easily to people, and I would like to know some of what goes on in his mind that he does not let on about."

Thus encouraged, the story came out of Halmir in a rush, not missing a single detail. By the time all had been told, both Merry and Halmir had tears in their eyes.

"Thank you, Halmir," he said at length, feeling the lad’s gaze upon him.

"Merry?"

"Yes, lad?"

"Will…will Frodo be all right?"

How was he to answer this? "I think that opening his heart like he did tonight will help a great deal."

"I know now," Halmir said in a voice so solemn that Merry was almost alarmed.

"Know what?"

"I know now what he suffered, what he had to endure. When I looked into his eyes…oh! I don’t know how to put it into words. I saw...everything!"

Merry nodded solemnly. "Yes. His eyes have always been windows into his very soul. But even they do not tell all.

"Now. It is way past your bedtime, and Frodo will kill me in the morning if he finds out I kept you awake longer than need be. Are you alright?" Halmir nodded. "Then go to sleep. Frodo will doubtless be refreshed in the morning, and, trust me, you will want to be ready for more adventures." Merry’s grey eyes twinkled with delight.

Halmir smiled. "Yes, indeed. Good-night, comrade."

"Good-night, Halmir." Merry gently kissed Halmir’s forehead as if the lad were one of his own cousins.

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Frodo woke to the feel of something warm and wet on his face. He groaned and burrowed deeply under the blankets.

"Let me be!" he muttered, not even sure whom he was addressing. He was enjoying the first peaceful sleep in many nights, and he did not wish to be disturbed.

"Here! You rascal, what are you doing in here? With your new master you ought to be, you little rapscallion!" That was unmistakeably Sam. Frodo saw a brown hand, heard a murmured, "I’m sorry, Mr. Frodo," and then the thing was gone.

"What’s going…Anna!" cried a childish voice. Halmir’s voice. Anna? Then he must have felt her licking his face.

The next moment a small body was rolling over him, and Pippin’s lilting voice cried, "Good morning, Cousin Frodo!"

"Oh, Pip! What is all this?" Frodo groaned, burrowing still deeper under the blankets.

"It’s almost time for breakfast!" Pippin caroled. "You wouldn’t want to miss breakfast, would you?"

Reluctantly Frodo scrambled out from beneath the blankets. All round the bed stood Sam, Merry, and Halmir, all grinning broadly. Frodo looked from face to grinning face for a moment, and then he gave way and laughed with utter abandon, as he had not done in days. "You’re a set of scoundrels!" he cried. "And that includes you, little miss!" He addressed the last to Anna, who merely squirmed in Halmir’s arms.

"And a good morning to you as well, Frodo!" Merry laughed. "You’ve slept the day away! Why, it’s already nearly time for second breakfast!"

"And the lord Aragorn has promised to join us for breakfast!" Halmir put in excitedly. "So will you get out of bed and join us?"

Frodo made a face. "I don’t know. I’m still very sleepy..." Frodo was, of course, only teasing.

All the same, Halmir turned wide, pitifully beseeching brown eyes upon Frodo. "Pleeeeeeeeease?" he said in a high-pitched voice that trembled. He blinked, causing very convincing tears to well up in his eyes.

"Oh, that’s splendid!" Frodo laughed, applauding. "Absolutely splendid!"

Halmir laughed as well. "I learned from the best!"

"Are you two going to make pathetic faces at one another until elevenses?" Merry interrupted. "Come on! Let’s go have breakfast…before Pip eats all the best food!" And everyone laughed again.

*~*~*~*~*~*

TBC.....

Copyright 2006 Frodo Baggins