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Chapter 7 - Musings

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"Oh!"

Estella jumped at the sound of the plate crashing to the floor. She whirled around to find Rosie standing by the sink, clutching the countertop so hard that her knuckles were white. Estella rushed over, taking her friend gently by the arm.

"Rosie? Are you all right?"

Taking several deep breaths, Rosie replied shakily, "Yes, I'm fine." She forced out an unsteady laugh as she kneeled down to pick up the pieces of the shattered plate. "I've just been a bit shaky lately."

Estella kneeled next to Rosie, helping her to pick up the shards. "Do you think you might be coming down with something?" she inquired, regarding her friend with worried eyes. "Maybe you should sit down."

Rosie laughed again. "You're starting to sound like Sam. He's been worried to death about me, despite the fact that I'm not even really sick."

"I don't doubt that," Estella said, setting the pieces of the plate on the table. Rosie followed suit and sunk into a chair, sighing deeply.

Estella furrowed her brows in concern. She honestly didn't blame Sam for worrying; Rosie had not been looking very healthy the past few days. She had been getting frequent chills, as well as being nauseated quite often. She had even come close to fainting, though only Estella and Frodo knew about it (Rosie had begged them not to tell Sam for fear of him worrying even more). Though Estella didn't often worry, her protective nature regarding Rosie made her wish her friend would seek medical attention.

"Rosie, I really think--"

"I already saw the doctor."

Estella blinked. "What? I mean... well, that's good, but when? And why didn't you tell me about it?"

Rosie looked down at her lap. "I went about five days ago. And I didn't want to mention anything until I was sure." She lowered her voice to a near-whisper. "I think I'm pregnant, Stella."

It took a moment for those words to register fully in Estella's mind. When they did, her eyes widened. "Pardon?"

Rosie smiled at this. "I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant," Estella repeated, unsure if she'd heard Rosie correctly. "As in... going to have a child?"

Laughing, Rosie nodded. "Yes, pregnant, as in 'going to have a child'."

Quite suddenly, Estella let out a noise that was somewhere between a scream and a squeal. She leaned forward and embraced her friend tightly. Rosie couldn't help but laugh again; it had been a long time since she had heard Estella giggle in such a way. She sounded like a young girl barely into her 'teens. Rosie felt that it was a nice change from the somewhat cynical lass her best friend had turned into, and she felt an odd sense of satisfaction for having brought it about.

"Have you told Sam yet?" Estella asked when she pulled away.

"No, you and the doctor are the only ones who know." Rosie took a deep breath. "When do you think I should tell him?"

Her eyebrows raised, Estella responded, "As soon as possible, I would say!" Estella frowned. "Do you think he would be upset?"

"I'm not sure." Rosie wrung her hands and bit her lip. "I-- I don't even know if we're ready for this."

Estella chuckled. "Nonsense. I can't imagine a pair of hobbits who would make better parents than you and Sam."

Rosie's lips turned up into a small smile. "Really?"

"Well, you've certainly managed to keep me in order. And Sam's done a fairly decent job with keeping Merry and Pippin out of trouble."

"It has been a difficult task," Rosie laughed. After a moment, she sighed contentedly. "I know this sounds very silly, but I didn't think it was possible to be so happy."

Estella smiled. "That's not silly at all. I know exactly how you feel."

Rosie stared at her for a moment before her smile widened and she spoke again. "Stella, I'm so glad you and Merry are finally getting along. I've never seen you happier than when you're around him."

Estella's face grew warm. "Well, don't be deceived - he's still insufferable. He's just... a bit nicer about it now." At the look on Rosie's face, Estella's blush deepened and she looked away, clearing her throat.

A laugh sparkling in her eyes, Rosie shook her head. "If you say so." But her smile slowly faded and she looked hard at her friend. "Estella, I know you've been hurt before, but that's no reason--"

"What happened before has nothing to do with Merry," Estella interrupted sternly. "We're just friends, Rose."

Raising an eyebrow, Rosie replied, "Surely you've seen the way he looks at you. I know I have, and I know what it means."

Estella folded her arms across her chest, a derisive look on her face. "Really."

"Yes. It's the same look I see in Sam's eyes when he tells me he loves me."

Estella was taken slightly aback by this. She shook her head. "No... no! That's not possible, Rosie, and even if it was..." She trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Even if it was, you wouldn't do anything about it," Rosie finished sadly for her. She sighed exasperatedly. "Fine, fine, I'll say no more on the subject."

But Estella knew that Rosie was by no means convinced. "He's not in love with me."

Rosie spoke softly, "Are you sure you're not in love with him?"

"No. I mean, yes! I mean..." Growling slightly, Estella took a deep breath to compose herself. "I'm not in love with Merry."

Rosie leaned in closer to her. "It's all right to be in love, Stella."

She didn't reply aloud, but to herself she said, No, it's not.

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