Elladan sighed deeply, glancing behind him to check on the progress of his brother and mother. For Elrohir had insisted on carrying the all too light burden himself, and Elladan had no longer had the spirit to argue. A deep dread seemed to fill his body, making it difficult to even think sensibly. Now he did not only have to fear losing a mother, he risked losing a brother too.

With the wounds bound and their mother falling into an uneasy world halfway into unconsciousness, they had worked together, attempting to use what healing power they had in the ultimately futile struggle against the poison. They had placed their hands on her chest, identical fingers entangled. And he had given her all he could, passing what strength he could spare to her. And when he had had no more to give, he had broken the grip his heart full of regret.

But Elrohir had continued, his face shadowed in concentration. He had wondered that his brother had still had strength to give, that he would still hold that much more power than he did. Some colour had returned to the pale cheeks and the tender body had relaxed slightly and a little hope had returned to his heart. But then he had looked at his brother, and really seen him, the colour leaving his face and the light fading in his eyes. All his life passing away.

"Elrohir!" His voice had been harsh and the heel of his hand had crashed into the other's chest, knocking him off balance and releasing the grip. "You must not."

And his brother had looked at him, the grey eyes dulled with despair, the mouth twisting into a sad smile.

"Can you not see brother? It does not matter anymore."

Elrohir had broken. He could hear it in his voice, watch it in his movements and feel it in his mind. And Elladan knew that their bond was such that wherever Elrohir went he would follow.

The rain began during the next night, whipped by the wind into icy sheets crashing into their bodies. Without his cloak his clothes were soon soaked through, the cold providing a welcome numbness from his pain. Soon the ground became muddy underfoot, the horses slipping and stumbling in the dirt and water.

"Elladan, we must halt!" Elrohir called over the noise of the storm, breaking the silence that had fallen on the party since the previous evening.

"We cannot!" Elladan called angrily, his brow furrowed with concentration as he guided his horse along the best path. It was a difficult road in the best of weather, and now with the horses splashing through water it was dangerous.

"We cannot carry on like this." The shout was almost lost in the winds that drove across the mountainside.

"We must." In speaking he lost his concentration and the horse slipped, sending it's rider tumbling into the quagmire. The mud soaked through his clothes, removing all last remnants of warmth from his body.

"Elladan!" Elrohir drew his horse to a sudden halt, just in time to avoid hitting his brother, and dismounted. They had been going fast and although the ground was soft he could still have obtained an injury.

"I am fine." His voice was slightly slurred, the grey eyes focussing with some difficulty, but at least he could stand.

"We are stopping." Elrohir spoke with unusual firmness as he led the horses into shelter under a tree, leaving his brother to limp after him his clothes heavy with caked on mud. Suddenly exhausted Elladan collapsed under the tree to regain his breath, the rough oak bark causing his bruised back to protest. It was true that they could not continue as they had done tonight. And the horses needed rest.

The blanket of fallen leaves was soft beneath their feet and he was content to sit a while, his head slowly clearing from confusion, as he watched his brother spread out cloaks as blankets and settle their mother into a comfortable position. Yes it would be good to sit a while, although he doubted if he would sleep.

Struggling to his feet he wandered out of the shelter of the canopy of leaves and into the pouring rain, hoping to wash off some of the mud that covered his clothes and hair. The gale was blowing harshly and he spread out his arms, embracing the storm, the coldness of the rain and strength of wind refreshing his mind. It was a star-less night, and there was no sight of the moon behind the clouds.

His brother was lying down on the cloak, his body close to his mother's, providing shared comfort. And then it came to him. Elrohir had not come here to rest or even sleep. He was at their side in an instant.

"We ride tonight. We will slow our pace but we do not stop." His voice panicking he ripped the cloak that covered their bodies away and bundled his mother into it, helping her onto the horse.

"No." Elrohir's voice was soft. Sleepy. But there was no sleep to be had on such a cold and wet night.

"Come." Elladan kicked his brother hard in the ribs and dragged him to his feet. "We do not give up hope."

They road on through the night and the next day, their pace slow but steady. In the back of his mind Elladan could feel his brother's pain, and he knew that the increasing limpness of their mother signified her slow passing from this world. But somehow his agony was easier to bear now.

Something had happened. He had always found it easier to lead others when being stern and firm. But now that was all he was. The heartlessness was all that was left. His body felt like a cold empty shell from which emotion had long departed. But he needed to get home. They needed to get home. And if he listened to his heart they would not have got this far.

Dusk fell, another night without stars, without light. He could remember a night many years before, when their heads still bobbed around below their father's waist.

They had walked all day, scrambling up the rocky slopes of the mountains, sometimes skipping from stone to stone and sometimes being carried. And then as dusk was falling they had reached the peak of the mountain and sat on a cairn and watched as the darkness spread across the land and stars were sprinkled across the sky. Their mother and father had wandered off together and Glorfindel had kept them with him when they wanted to chase off after them. He could remember an arm being placed around each of their shoulders, drawing them into warmth and safety. And then he could remember him speaking, answering some childish comment, the melodic tones with the accent of some long forgotten city.

"The stars are always there. Even when you cannot see them. They never go out."

But there were no stars left now. He had lied. Scowling at the betrayal Elladan called out needlessly over his shoulder.

"We ride on."

It was so cold. His frozen fingers wrapped round the reins only with difficulty. There was no light, and the riders could do little but trust that the horses knew the way home. Morosely he stared east, in a hopeless wish that he would see the golden glow of the lights of Imladris nestled in the far off hills.

His eyes suddenly wide Elladan took another look. In the gloom of the far hills where there should be no settlement or civilisation there was a small light. A gentle orb of white light, slowly coming closer.

Had he still owned a heart he may have wept for relief, but instead he turned and spoke gladly.

"There is a light Elrohir. There is a star."

They thundered on across the plains, and as dawn broke the following morning the white glow was still visible in the blue-grey gloom. By now they were so close that riders were visible, hurrying towards them dressed in the mithril mail of Imladris.

Finally they drew close enough to make out individual faces on the riders and soon the two parties came to a halt, mingling into one.

The lead rider dismounted and hurried over, a pale jewel gleaming in the circlet that lay on his blond hair. Seeing the bundle on the nearer horse he strode over, eyes scanning the exhausted faces of the riders for any news.

"She lives." The commanding voice drew some of the best healers in Imladris out of the group.

He gently took the burden into his own arms, drawing back the hood to reveal the pale face. Turning slightly to keep the words he spoke between only himself and the recipient, he touched the bruised cheek, allowing much of what he had to flow into her body.

"I am sorry Celebrian. I am sorry they had to see this."

His face was lined with grief as he handed the fragile body over to one of the waiting healers. Elladan dismounted with urgent haste, trying to follow the party.

"She. . . the wound. . ." He motioned at his side, desperately trying to get them to pay attention. They were not listening. Why would they not understand?

"Hush Elladan. She is in safe hands now." Glorfindel moved over in two swift steps and caught him as he tried to struggle after them. The younger elf tried to push past him for a few moments but then relaxed, allowing himself to be held in the strong arms. "You are safe."

"Glor. . ." The coldness that gripped his body was melting away and his heart was beginning to speak. He wanted someone to hold him and tell him that everything would be all right. He wanted someone to take the burden of responsibility that had been placed on his shoulders. He needed to share the terrible knowledge that he held.

"Peace child." Glorfindel gently drew him into a cuddle, stroking back the muddy hair to look into the familiar face. He had suffered during this journey, more than could yet be understood.

Suddenly Elladan felt an urge to bury his face in Glorfindel's chest as he had done so many times in his childhood and allow his sorrows to flow out freely. Hot tears began to sting in his eyes and he felt his chin begin to crease into tears. Carefully he bent down to rest his forehead on Glorfindel's shoulder, hiding his face from the watching crowd. He could not cry. Not here. Not in front of everyone.

Glorfindel moved slightly to shield Elladan from curious eyes and glanced at one of his officers, asking for privacy.

"It is alright. I am here." Glorfindel allowed one hand to rest on the dark head, patting it gently.

Elladan felt a sudden itchy warmth in his eyes as tears began to form. Emotions were flooding back into his body. He needed to tell someone what he had seen although the words felt dirty and painful to his tongue.

Taking a deep breath he looked upwards only to see the blond elf looking anxiously at his brother. His brother for how much longer? They had not grown up together for this to happen. They were supposed be partners, side by side for an eternity. It was the gift that had been given to them. And this was to be taken away too?

"Elrohir," Elladan's voice broke and he found himself almost unable to say the words. "Elrohir. . . he . . . he did not wish to continue."

Glorfindel continued to stroke his hair, but Elladan could feel the tension that his words had created in the blond elf's body.

"You should. . . I am afraid." With an effort Elladan pulled back from Glorfindel. "Go."

The blue eyes lingered on his face for a moment and a firm hand found his for a squeeze. Then the elf-lord turned in a shapeless billow of white cloak.

Swallowing to try and regain control of his feelings he watched as Glorfindel strode over and embraced his brother, holding him as he sobbed loudly, his clear anguish making the others shift uncomfortably.

He could not help but admire his brother for the courage to allow himself to cry so freely. To not care who was watching. But above all he felt the guilt and envy. Envy that Elrohir should have someone to hold him while he cried and guilt for coveting his brother this small comfort.