The Old Took’s Limericks

These are limericks my husband wrote one afternoon. They all were inspired by hobbits who lived in Bree. We hope you enjoy them!
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There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Who was about as tall as your knee.
He sat down to dinner
And got even thinner
Than he was when he was twenty-three.

There one was a hobbit from Bree,
Who bravely set out to sea.
His friends thought him nuts
As they talked in their huts
Until he came back with a sea . . . serpent.
*A/N from the Old Took “I know, it’s not a real
limerick, but I’m not Irish, I’m Tookish.” ;-)

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Whose heart was so full of glee.
Every time he would laugh
His breath was cut in half
Which made him laugh more, you see.

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Who drank his pints in threes.
His pony took him home
So he would not roam
Down roads he saw also in threes.

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Couldn’t decide what he wanted to be.
So he got some schooling
And learned to do tooling
Thus ended up as wise as could be.

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Who thought limericks was poetry.
He thought it was so
But he didn’t know
For he had no book learning you see.

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Loved gold, ale, his lass all three.
His mind would not rest
‘Til he chose which was best
And fell asleep with his head on her knee.

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Who ate biscuits and drank lots of tea.
His bladder was gladder
When it was much flatter
“Now there’s room for lots more!” said he.

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
Who decided to cut down a tree.
He did not see the nest
With Momma Bird and the rest
‘Til they pecked and caused him to flee.

There once was a hobbit from Bree,
With a wart as big as your knee.
It was covered with hair
And if you would dare
He would let you kiss it for free.