Brother, where art thou?

Author’s note:

Many thanks to Erulisse and to Selene Aduial for beta reading this story for me. 

Chapter 5:

Despair and a bit of hope

Elrond sighed when he looked at the pale face of his younger twin sitting forlornly on a stone bench in the garden. Once it had been one of the twins’ favourite places while thinking and talking, but now it was only a cruel reminder of the empty place beside him.

For three weeks now, he had tried to find any sign of his missing brother. He had spent countless days of searching but never finding; countless days of hoping, only to have those hopes crushed mercilessly again and again.

Last week he had searched alone, abandoned in his misery. He hadn’t started out alone, of course. At the start, the search parties had included many of the inhabitants of Imladris, along with a small group of their friends.

Even Elrond had ridden out with the search parties in the hope that his presence could help them achieve something and that he would be able to channel some of the sorrow which was choking him into something more constructive.  But even his presence was to no avail.

But since those first searches, many had given up and returned to their day-to day lives. Not so with Elrohir. He could not quit. There was no day-to day life without his brother and so he continued to search. But the bitter truth could not be denied any longer.

Elladan had vanished.  Each day the remaining hope had dwindled and both the father and the son had slowly but surely succumbed to grief. Elrohir was no longer sure if the weak connection he still felt was real or imaginary, conjured up by wishful thinking.

The Elf-Lord knew and feared the condition Elrohir was slipping into. The younger twin had begun to fade and nothing, including his own healing skills or his steadfast love for his child, could do anything to stop this process. If they did not find Elladan any time soon, Elrohir would die and never know what fate had befallen his brother.

Elrond sighed again. He had failed to save his oldest, and now it seemed that he was powerless to save his younger son also. In fact, he barely had the strength to hold himself upright. This uncertainty grated on his nerves. Never knowing what happened to your child would drive you mad sooner or later.

Elrohir had lost hope, but Elrond could not. He clung to this hope as if it was his lifeline, but his mind had already accepted what his heart could not.

He sat down beside his son, but the offered comfort didn’t reach his distressed child. Nonetheless he wrapped an arm around the slim shoulders and drew the younger twin to his chest. Elrohir didn’t react; he looked ahead with unseeing eyes.

……………………………………………..

After several days of travelling, Maren finally reached the camp of the rangers. His mare nearly stumbled into the clearing from exhaustion. His condition was not much better. He could barely hold himself upright in his saddle, but he could not give in, not yet, now that he had reached his goal.

He awkwardly dismounted and noticed the commotion his sudden appearance had caused. To his great relief he spotted his cousin Dargost running toward him.

When the ranger had reached the farmer, he stretched out his hand to steady the swaying figure. “Valar´s sake, Maren, what has happened to you, you look terrible.” Surrounded now by many intrigued faces Maren tried to catch his breath, forced a smile on his tired face and returned the forceful hug his cousin was crushing him into.

“Well met, Dargost. Don’t worry, I´m only tired. But I have a very important message for you…..”

Dargost released the slightly smaller man and looked him up and down with open worry. “I think this can wait, until you have rested a bit….”

Seeing the protest in Maren´s eyes, as well as the total exhaustion of the young man Dargost held up his hand to forestall any further discussion.

“Nothing can be so urgent it cannot wait a few moments more. Come.” he demanded, and steered his cousin toward the campfire. Knowing that he would reach his goal quicker by complying Maren sat down and gratefully accepted a mug of hot tea and some bread and dried meat that was pressed into his other hand.

To satisfy the stern looks from the rangers who had settled around him he complied again and took a careful sip and a heartfelt bite. From the corner of his eye he saw that someone was taking care of his horse for which he was grateful.

“Better,” Dargost grumbled as he sat across from the young farmer. “Alright, now tell me. What is so urgent that you nearly killed your horse and yourself?”

Redirecting his gaze at the ranger and finally having the needed attention, Maren sighed, suddenly not knowing how to start. Never one for long words and hoping that the news of the elf´s disappearance had reached the rangers by now, he decided on a blunt question. “Is your troop searching for someone?”

Dargost narrowed his eyes. For many days they had searched for the eldest son of Lord Elrond and had nearly lost hope. But how could his cousin know of this?

Deciding to be honest about the issue, Dargost took a deep breath. “We have been searching for Lord Elrond´s son Elladan for nearly three weeks,” he answered while intently searching the face of his cousin and was surprised to see the tired face of the young farmer light up after a moment’s contemplation.

With shaking hands, when he realized who they had cared for these last few weeks Maren gripped his cousin’s hand. “Assuming that we speak about the same elf, then you can quit your search. Isiwen and I have found him or, better said, he has found us.”

Now it was Dargost who looked bewildered. When the murmurs of his fellow rangers had died down somewhat he looked up.

“And he’s alive?” he nearly whispered with new hope in his heart.

Maren´s enthusiastic expression sobered quickly and Dargost´s heart sunk again. “That’s the reason for my haste. He was alive when we found him, albeit barely, but now he’s dying.”

……………………………………………..

A few days later Glorfindel looked at the dark clouds hovering over the Bruinen with a frown. He sighed. The weather was as depressing as the mood of Imladris´ inhabitants. Nature seemed to somehow reflect the despair that the elves felt in the once happy valley.

His heart ached, as did that of his Lord and friend, but he could not change what had happened either. The twins were as dear to him as if they were his own sons. He loved them, had taught them all he knew about history, battle arts and other important matters of life. He had laughed with them, cried with them and he had helped to hide many secrets they did not want their father to know.

He had not lost hope yet, but every day he came closer to it, receiving only negative reports from the still searching patrols and rangers.

Elrohir would fade and Elrond would leave for Valinor. All the power he possessed could not stop this family falling apart. He took a shuddering breath, when he thought about the last weeks of searching.

They had followed every lead they could find, had asked countless people, elves and men alike. They had turned nearly every stone at the rivers edge, but for naught.

They had found nothing...no sign, no word, no clue.

He shook his head unwillingly. It was not his way to give up so easily, but right now he was at a loss, he did not know how to go on.

Still lost in his thoughts he looked up when he heard hoof beats in the courtyard.

Narrowing his eyes, he blinked in surprise when he saw a ranger named Dargost coming straight for him, waving. Dargost was a level-headed man, reliable and a well-liked guest at the Last Homely House. Never had Glorfindel seen him so agitated.

Only a few steps before the golden warrior, the man jerked his breathless mount to a stop and dismounted quickly.

“Mae Govannen, Lord Glorfindel,” he said, trying to catch his breath. “I must speak with Lord Elrond!”

Glorfindel looked at the ranger thinking.  Surely Dargost knew the state Elrond was in and he would not dare to bother him with something unimportant?

“I think we should not….” Glorfindel began, but was interrupted rather vehemently by a hand’s wave of a very impatient looking man. Only long years of trust and understanding let the man speak thus to the high Lord in front of him.

“Please forgive me, my Lord, but I think we should.” Not able now to restrict his emotions any longer Dargost added quickly:

“We have found Elladan!”

Glorfindel thought that the air had suddenly changed into something solid and unmoving. He stared at the ranger, momentarily not comprehending what he had heard. He had so desperately wished to hear these very words. Could it be true? Taking a deep breath, he briefly closed his eyes.

When he had regained his composure, Glorfindel lifted his head and looked into the ranger´s grey eyes. “Is he alive?” he asked with an unsteady voice.

The ranger’s face sobered. “He’s badly wounded, but yes, he’s alive.”

Glorfindel sighed. All the accumulated tension of the past weeks left him. Still looking intently at the ranger, he let a tiny smile creep onto his lips.

“Thank you for bringing this good news so quickly, but I think I should break the news. Will you wait until I call for you?”

The ranger smiled. “Of course, my Lord. I need a break anyway.”

Glorfindel nodded and headed toward the house to find Elrond.

…………………………………….

Elrond sat at his desk, not really seeing the papers in front of him. He tried to distract himself with work, as always, when he was worried, and it didn’t work, as always.

An hour ago, he had looked in at Elrohir who was lying unresponsive in his bed, the body still and the soul slowly fleeing from a life he could not bear.

He looked up unwillingly, when he heard a knock on his door. Could they not leave him alone? Could they not grant him a minute to himself?

In his desperate state he didn’t realize how ridiculous his thoughts were. For days he had spoken to no one, had hid himself in his study. No-one had dared to approach him.

Silently the door opened and Glorfindel slipped inside.

The Elf-Lord regretted his thoughts already, when he looked in his friends pale face, but something was in these intense blue eyes, that he could not identify.

Slowly Elrond rose behind his desk dreading Glorfindel´s next words. They looked at each other for a moment, until Glorfindel broke the silence.

“Elrond, Dargost one of the rangers in the search parties arrived a few minutes ago and he brought good news. They have found Elladan and he’s alive!”

Elrond stared at Glorfindel the same way the golden haired elf had at the ranger before. Disbelief and overwhelming joy played on the Elf-Lord’s face. As the Elf-Lord faltered, Glorfindel quickly moved forward to steady his friend.

“Is it really true?” Elrond whispered.

“Yes it is”, Glorfindel smiled and released slowly his hold, “but we should ask Dargost. I barely have more information”.

Elrond could only nod, his throat constricted by his overwhelming emotions.

………………………………………………

Dargost inclined his head toward the dark-haired Elf-Lord, after Elrond had bid him to report. He was a bit nervous, knowing what grief had befallen this family after the disappearance of the young elf.

“Several days ago my cousin Maren arrived at our camp and reported, that he and his wife had found an unconscious and badly wounded elf at the riverbank near their cottage. They have taken care of him, but weren’t able to improve his condition, so they decided to contact us.”

“The whole camp was in an uproar, when we realized it could only be Elladan, for whom we had searched for so long. I travelled back with my cousin, to make sure, that it was really your son. Afterward I came here right away.”

When the ranger had finished Elrond swallowed, trying to sort out all the information. If Elladan had been unconscious this long then his condition must be very bad. But this was not a surprise to him, seeing the state Elrohir was in. The important thing right now was only that Elladan was alive.

“How badly is he injured?” Elrond asked the most urgent question in a now controlled tone.

The ranger sighed. “I have only briefly looked at him, but Isiwen, my cousin’s wife told me, that his injuries were severe and he has not woken since they found him.”

Exchanging a quick glance with Glorfindel, Elrond nodded, already running a list in his head of the supplies he would need.

He addressed the ranger again. “Would you show us the way to your cousin’s cottage?”

“Of course, my Lord, that is what I’m here for,” he answered, with a forced smile. The young elf was not home yet and there were many things that could still go wrong.

Elrond nodded again in gratitude and squeezed the ranger’s hand firmly. “Thank you so much.”

“It was a pleasure for me to bring this good news,” Dargost smiled and returned the firm squeeze of the hand.

Struggling to hold his emotions in check, Elrond bowed and lowered his eyes, to regain his composure. After a few minutes he looked up again.

“I will make a few preparations, and then we will leave early in the morning.”

Knowing that he was dismissed, Dargost bowed and left.

“And I will come with you,” Glorfindel said, and left quickly following the ranger, to forestall all protests from Elrond.

“Very well,” Elrond murmured with a tiny smile, he had expected nothing else and then he left his study.

He walked directly to his sons’ shared room and slipped silently inside. He sat on the bed’s edge and looked at the pale and unmoving figure of his youngest.

He planted a kiss on the forehead and sighed relieved when he felt a slight stirring. Elrohir was not yet too far gone to be called back.

“I will be back soon, my son, hopefully with your brother,” Elrond whispered, placing an extra blanket over the prone form and leaving as quietly as he had come.

To be continued………

 Happy New Year to you all