Chapter 20

“Captain!” Haldir’s brother-in-law Brethil and Brethil’s eldest son panted, trying to catch their breath. “there…there…”

“Yes?” Haldir patiently asked, his brothers and Lórien comrades joining him.

Brethil recovered first. “Brother, I believe we may have a problem.”

“With…” Haldir prompted.

“I do not wish to cause a panic,” Brethil answered, lowering his voice considerably.

Suddenly concerned, Haldir answered back in an equally quiet voice, “What is wrong? What did you find that has alarmed you so that you ran all the way back to report it?”

Brethil hesitated. “The river, Haldir, it…it issues forth from tunnels in some rocks. There is no way we can follow the flow of it as we have been.”

Haldir sighed in relief, letting out a breath he had not realized he held. He clapped both of his scouts on the shoulder at the same time. “Please be at peace. I believe what you have described is called the Gates of Sirion. This is good news. It means that we are nearer to Doriath than I had hoped.”

“But the river flows underground for some leagues north of this point of issue as best we can tell. What shall we do? How shall we follow it?” Brethil’s son asked clearly still very concerned.

“As soon as the entire group arrives there, we can plan how best to proceed. The river runs underground for three leagues.”

“How do you know this, Haldir? I was part of your travels when you made your maps. You never travelled this far north – at least not while you have been among the Galadhrim of Celos Galen. How do you know this? How have you known any of the things you have known since our journey began?” Brethil stared hard at Haldir as if daring him not to tell the truth.

“We have our sources,” Orophin replied trying to calm the situation.

“Is that so? And what would those be?” Brethil looked every bit the chieftain he was destined to be should Damrod ever be lost to them.

For a time no one moved nor spoke as the tension among the ellyn grew almost palpable. Finally Haldir shifted, withdrawing the map of Beleriand and partially unrolled it to reveal the portion depicting their forest and Doriath. “This,” he confessed, his quiet voice dangerously calm as he quelled his own worry and exasperation at having to reveal this well-guarded secret. He held the exposed portion of the map for the two ellyn to see.

“This is how we have known where to go. We do not know the proper distances but we…we ‘came into knowledge’ of the information on this map when we were in Lothlórien. We heard tales of Doriath and the peoples who hoped to one day build that kingdom and dwell there.”

Brethil looked at the map, his face as filled with awe as his son’s. Carefully, he traced the outline of the forest from which they had come and then followed the line of the river northward to the image representing the Gates of Sirion.

“You…” he started, “You drew this from tales? Then perhaps corrected and added to it as you explored?”

Haldir nodded, briefly noticing the fear in the eyes of his brethren at the potentially dangerous revelations he was making.

After a few moments, Brethil looked around the group, his curious gaze filled with a sudden compassion. “When you six left Lothlórien and came to Beleriand, did you intend to go to Doriath and join with the peoples there?  Is that where you were going when you were attacked by the…the orcs before we found you?”

Catching the eyes of each of his comrades and their barely perceived nods, Haldir replied more confidently, yet still very softly. “Yes.”

Brethil smiled grimly. “But you never made it and you ended up with us instead.” He shook his head. “My friends, I marvel at your bravery to leave your home as you did and travel as far as you did…pursuing a hope, a… ‘dream’ based on tales.” He paused a moment, shaking his head in disbelief, then his smile broadened.

“I would say that you are all very great fools for undertaking this venture into the unknown. However we were blessed in more ways than we imagined possible for your having come among us just as you were blessed in ways I do not believe you imagined.”

Haldir and his brethren smiled briefly and nodded, but did not quite relax at those words.

“I would know more of what the markings mean on this map,” Brethil pointed to the words on the map written in Cirth. “These do not show pictures of the places on the map in the way that this shows a forest and this shows hills. What do these mean?”

A glance exchanged among the group showed Haldir that he was not the only one not liking this new turn of the conversation. Fortunately, he was spared having to answer for Damrod walked up at that moment and asked his son and grandson for news of the road ahead. Haldir discreetly handed the map to Orophin who quickly rolled it up and put it away as Damrod reacted to the news of the river’s change.

When the discussion finished, Haldir strategically pointed out to Damrod how weary the two scouts obviously were and the chieftain led them away for feeding and rest, relieving Haldir of having to answer awkward questions about a written language which may not even have been invented yet.

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“Well, what did you see?” Haldir asked his brothers as he helped each one climb the rest of the way out of the river, handing their still lit torches to those standing nearest.

Rúmil gratefully accepted the dry cloak his wife wrapped around him, patting her hand where it lingered on his left shoulder as he sat down. “By the light of the torches, we could see far into the three tunnels. There is no way we could travel underground and follow the river. I will say though that what I saw was quite beautiful.”

Orophin nodded in agreement from where he sat wrapped in a dry cloak beside his wife.

“It was beautiful?” Haldir asked curiously. “I was not expecting to hear that. Are you certain that you are not part dwarf?”

His brothers laughed.

“It was incredible,” Rúmil clarified. “As we swam along, the torchlight shimmered and reflected all around us, we saw gemstones twinkling like tiny stars in the walls and the ceiling. It was like the descriptions of the crystal caves that dwarf Gimli spoke of when he sojourned in Lórien before –”

Rúmil’s expression clouded with memory and Haldir placed an understanding hand on his brother’s right shoulder as Rúmil pursed his lips and bowed his head.

Orophin gave a thin-lipped, understanding smile. “It still hurts, does it not? And it floods the heart when least expected.”

Rúmil nodded and closed his eyes without raising his head.

“What I think Rúmil was going to say, if I may finish for him, is that we also saw glowworms. It was so strangely beautiful and simply amazing. Also the rush of the river and drip of tiny droplets from the walls echoed so musically,” Orophin said almost wistfully. “But it is a way we simply cannot travel. We would do best to journey over land until we reach the falls.”

Haldir nodded. “Taurion, please tell your daeradar that we will travel straight north over the ground instead of trying to follow the river underground. As soon as we get your uncles dressed in dry clothes, we can continue.” Haldir looked at his brothers for confirmation and Orophin shrugged as he rose to his feet while Rúmil’s sons gave their adar a few moments to get himself under control before helping him to stand. 

Not long after that, they continued on their way.

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Using the stars to guide them now that the river was nowhere to be seen, they travelled three leagues over flat plains and then through some rocky hills before they were forced to stop again.

“All right, now what?” Brethil asked Haldir as they stood staring straight up at the waterfalls which cascaded loudly and rather gloriously into an enormous pool whose tendrils snaked through some rocks then disappeared into the ground.  “Do your tales or your map have anything useful to say about what to do next?”

Haldir stood in silence, hopelessly considering the waterfall and the rocky hills around them. He had to admit that it was indeed very impressive and very loud and stunningly beautiful –and very much insurmountable for such a large group. Suddenly he caught a thought from his wife who silently moved up beside him and wrapped her arms around his right arm.

“No!” he said quite firmly “Absolutely not! And not another word about it.”

Gilwen looked over at him, clearly affronted. “Did I say anything, husband?”

“You did not have to. You thought it.”

“What? What are you talking about?” she asked irritably.

Brethil leaned over and whispered, “You do have time before the rest of the group catches up to us.”

“Why are you agreeing with her?” Haldir demanded.

“I have not said or thought anything for you to agree or disagree with!” Gilwen exclaimed.

“I was not aware that we are taking sides in this. I just know your ah…habits and you have time to shall we say, gather firewood by the waterfall if you wish to,” Brethil continued, ignoring his sister.

“Oh! What a lovely idea,” Gilwen agreed delightedly.

Haldir glared at his brother-in-law. “I hate you and I hate your family.”

“Yes, you hate us enough to marry into it and even add multiple generations to it. Clearly, we are grave enemies.”

Haldir glared daggers at his wife’s evil brother. “I still hate you.”

“And I hate you, too. Now go before anyone else catches up and gets the same idea.”

Gilwen dragged her grumbling husband away to a nice secluded spot just behind the falls as he wondered all the while why he was allowing her to do this. The Galadhrim of Lothlórien were not like this. What was the problem with these people that they had to acknowledge every unusual feature of the land in this manner?

Just before the noise of the falls drowned out all other sound, Haldir heard Brethil and his wife discussing them.

“At least he is finally starting to think like we do. It took him long enough.”

“How do you know my sister was not thinking about such things?” Brethil asked

“Because she and I were discussing other things.”

Brethil laughed. “I cannot wait until he makes this realization on his own that he finally really is one of us now.”

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Haldir leaned over, offering a hand to help his wife to stand. Gilwen smiled.

“Thank you, my love. Soon enough it will be difficult for me to stand on my own again.”

He smiled back. “How well I remember from the others. However, I think the problems will happen sooner because you carry two.”

Gilwen wrapped her arms around Haldir’s waist and they held each other close. “I just hope we arrive in Doriath before travel becomes too difficult for me.”

“Do not worry. You will be there in plenty of time to set up a nice home for yourselves before the babies arrive.”

Startled, Gilwen and Haldir both turned at the sound of the voice, seeing an ellon shimmering behind the curtain of the falls.

“Who are you?” Gilwen asked in dismay, drawing closer to her husband.

Haldir relaxed, rubbing his wife’s back with one hand as he held out the other to gesture in introduction.

“Lord Ulmo, this is my beloved wife, Gilwen. Gilwen, this is the Balan Ulmo, Lord of Waters. He is a brother of Araw the Hunter.”

Gilwen bowed her head and gave a low curtsy. Haldir bowed low as well.

“I am deeply honored, my Lord” she whispered.

Ulmo smiled warmly. “I am honored to meet you as well.”

Straightening in unison with Haldir, Gilwen kept her head bowed in reverence and asked, “Y-You know of our journey?”

Ulmo’s smile deepened, his eyes sparkling like starlit pools. “Yes, Child, I know of your journey. Your husband was wise enough to ask for my aid and I have given it as well as my protection to your people since your time of rest before you left the forest.”

Gilwen looked at Haldir in bewildered surprise. “You asked for his aid? How did you even know he existed or that he would help us or how to talk to him?”

Ulmo saved Haldir the trouble of answering. “The people of Lothlórien know a great many things and have learned much over the many ennin. Haldir is an apt student of lore and used that knowledge to contact me. I am pleased with him for asking for my aid and even more pleased that I could render aid to you in your time of need.”

Wonder and awe filed Gilwen’s face as she gazed on her husband. “I have known you for so long and yet I…I feel as if I have only just met you. How could you have kept such knowledge from me and for so long? I thought that we had shared so much already.”

“Your husband is well aware that knowledge of the Belain is limited among those who remained behind and did not make the journey to Valinor. His wisdom guided him in his choice of what tales to tell and what knowledge to impart. Have he and his comrades not taught your people much over the ennin you have known him, young Gilwen?”

She nodded.

Haldir turned her in his arms so that she faced him fully. “I have…we have told what we felt comfortable revealing over these ennin. We do not hide our knowledge out of pride or vanity. We simply realize that not everyone has had the experiences we have had and therefore, they may well not believe what we have to say.”

Gilwen turned back toward Ulmo and tentatively reached into the water, suddenly drawing back her hand in shock as she touched him.

Grinning broadly, Ulmo assured her,:”I am indeed real and solid. Do not be afraid of me. I am only here to help you. Which reminds me,” he paused and the image of him vanished to be replaced by a vision of a path snaking up into some rocky hills. “Go due west from the falls and look for this trail. It will lead you on an easy path up to the river above the falls and directly to the fens.”

Haldir gazed long at the image, burning the landmarks into his memory.

“Do you have it?” The Lord of Waters asked.

“Yes,” Haldir confirmed and Gilwen nodded alongside him as well as the image shifted back to that of the Balan.

“Excellent! I will send you a guide to see you safely across the fens when you arrive there.”

“Thank you, my Lord,” Haldir bowed in gratitude.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Ulmo said as his image began to fade. “As much as I appreciate the ah…homage you Galadhrim pay to new features of the land, please understand that fens are no place to gather firewood.”

Both Haldir and his wife blanched in horror then blushed violently at the dawning realization that Ulmo knew what they had been doing beside waterfalls and at different points along the river.

Ulmo’s booming laugh lingered in the spray of the water long after his image vanished.

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Haldir remained perfectly still, eyes closed, listening intently to all that went on around him. Acutely aware of every sensation in his body, he used his long ennin of training to keep his breathing deep and calm, giving no sign to anyone. However, what he heard confused him greatly. Somewhere to his left, Chieftain Damrod and the elder edair were holding council some distance away but near enough for him to hear all that they said.

“I have nothing but respect for the ellon,” one of the edair said.

“Indeed, he is a great captain for the warriors and wise as any lord among our kind,” another remarked.

“Truly, I have considered asking him to be chieftain alongside me. Though this is not the way of our people, his wisdom and skill in leading our folk through this journey have given me pause and made me strongly consider doing this. The way he has guided us along on our journey thus far and his guidance of late simply astound me.” Damrod signed then continued, his voice full of near reverent emotion.

“He used his full knowledge of the gifts of our people and our ways in wood craft and lore to guide us around the falls and through the fens. He knew we could travel rope bridges and used them to cross those deep ravines. He knew we could leap from tree to tree even with babes in arms and with some of our ellith pregnant. Never did he give us a task too great to handle. Always he took the most dangerous path for himself. He was the only one who fell when crossing those great rocks. When that branch gave way it was with him on it as the last to cross after seeing to the safety of the rest. When the rocks fell and pinned his ankle, he it was who had pushed the last person out of the way so the danger only fell upon him and no other.”

Many sighed in reverent acknowledgement.

“What of the fens?” another added. “He it was who trod the unsafe path to protect that child who ran off. He it was who drew the attention of the great stag which leapt all the way across the fens seemingly at the Lord Captain’s command-”

Many gave cries of agreement, interrupting the speaker.

“Aye, we should call him Lord Captain for truly he deserves this great title and honor!”

The elder continued on reverently, “Thus leading us safely across the stinking marshes such that the rest of us trod only on solid ground, assuring our safe passage.”

“’Twas a pity he struck his head when he fell,” another said sadly.

“But his wife is a great healer and our warriors gladly - indeed proudly - bore him the rest of the way across the fens to the safety of our camp here at the joining of the two rivers.”

Many murmurs of agreement followed and someone suddenly raised a voice in song.

Praise to our Captain, mighty and strong

Lord of the forest, worthy of song…

To Haldir’s right however, an entirely different conversation was taking place.

“I think he is cursed,” Ferevellon said or was it Fereveldir? Haldir never could tell them apart by voice alone.

“What could your brother possibly have done to anger a Balan?” Gilwen asked, her voice trembling in dismay.

“Our brother?” Rúmil asked irritably. “He is your husband, Gilwen and the adar of your children.”

“I know,” she fairly whimpered. “I just hoped to distance myself from the relation until we know for certain if Ulmo is finished punishing him. Why does he not simply kill him outright and be done with it?”

“Are you certain it was Ulmo who appeared to you two by the falls and told you take that path?” Orophin asked. “Perhaps it was actually Morgoth deceiving you.”

“Haldir said it was Ulmo, and I touched the Balan and…and I felt nervous and afraid, but no evil came from him. Haldir was convinced that it was the Lord of the Waters,” Gilwen said.

“We scouted out the way before ever leading our folk upon each part of the path. There truly was no other viable way than the way we traversed,” Angaril commented in support of Haldir.

“But Ulmo said it was a safe path,” Gilwen added.

“I am beginning to suspect that perhaps a Balan’s idea of safe and an elf’s idea of safe are two entirely different things,” Angaril said. “And somehow I suspect that Haldir would rather strongly agree with me on that one.”

“How are his injuries?” Orophin asked.

“The ankle is mending well. His wrist is still swollen and will have to be splinted for at least ten more turns of the stars. When he awakens, I can better assess the extent of his head injury and see what he remembers,” Gilwen replied. “Thank you for carrying him.”

“Yes, about that,” Rúmil said in mild irritation, “what have you been feeding him? I swear he has put on weight since we left Celos Galen.”

“I can assure you, it is muscle,” she said.

Haldir felt someone lift his shirt and pinch his side and then his side was pinched again rather harder. That second one he thought might leave a bruise, but still he did not moan nor flinch.

“Feels rather like fat to me,” Rúmil commented, and Haldir was pinched yet again.

There was the sound of slapping and the pinching stopped as Rúmil suddenly yelped.

“Rúmil, go away and leave the injured in peace,” Angaril cried in exasperation. “Now is not the time to torment your poor brother. Has the ellon not been through enough already without you adding to it?”

Assuming the role of second in command, Angaril added, “Come brethren, let us away to see to our families and retrieve the grandchildren from any mischief they may have found with two rivers to tempt them. Gilwen, I will send one of your daughters to you with some food. Will you be all right here alone with him for a few minutes?”

“Unless Ulmo decides to show up in person and finish him off, I will be fine,” Gilwen assured with somewhat resigned irritation.

As soon as the sounds of the departure of those nearest to him died away, Haldir heard Gilwen whisper in his ear, “I know you heard every word that your brethren said. I will send you off into a healing sleep now, my love. Perhaps you will be in less pain when you next awaken.”

Her fingers traced the side of his face and down his neck to pat one of the few unbruised spots on his chest.

“And next time you think to call upon a Balan for aid, please choose one that actually likes the Galadhrim and does not despise us as this one seems to,” Gilwen pleaded.

She kissed his mouth and he returned the kiss. He felt the first notes of her healing song brush his lips and he gratefully was asleep again before she reached the second verse.

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Author’s Note: I wrote the descriptions using Christopher Tolkien’s map and interpreting it as I saw fit for my story. I also had seen a description of the Andram as appearing as a series of hills when looking at it from the south but looking like a sheer drop off when looking at it from the north.

Ennin – period of 144 years

Edair- fathers

Adar- father

Balan - Vala

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