Disclaimer:

The characters, places, and events are creations of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit was or will be made from this story. It was written solely for entertainment.

Author’s note:

As always many thanks to my beta reader Erulisse.

Summary:

Elrond thought that after the abduction of his wife and her departure there could be no increase in sorrow – he was sorely mistaken…….

Rating: PG-13

Chapter 1:  sorrow, sorrow everywhere

Elrond’s POV:

I walked beneath the trees of my beloved home, yet their rustling did not calm me as they once had. The sun streaming down with a gentle light held no warmth for me. The colours of the flowers and the green of the grass seemed grey and the air smelled stale.

Many years had passed since my beloved wife passed into the West. Men said that the sorrow would diminish in time, yet I felt that was only a fortune of the second-born. My sorrow had increased, not decreased. While I kept a tight rein on my emotions, I had to be cautious not to let anyone recognize how desolate my soul had become.

During the first years after her departure, I was really under the impression that I was coping with the loss. But my heart felt empty.

I had talked myself into believing it would get better with time, that the lonely nights would become more bearable and that my forced calm exterior would become less arduous to maintain over the years. Today, however, I knew that I had betrayed myself every day.

Today all my emotions had surfaced with a force I was unable to repel. My tedious wall of self-control blew away in seconds and my desolate inner life was laid bare for all to see.

This I could not accept. It clearly showed what a façade I had presented over the years and how I had betrayed the trust all had bestowed upon me. My shame over my inability to bring my life back under control was too great. Therefore I decided to leave this world via the only way the Powers had granted the firstborn.

Already hearing a voice shouting my name with high irritation, I sank into the soft grass and closed my eyes with a sigh. I relinquished my hold on the world, on sanity and on all that had ever connected me with Arda. I could no longer hear the hurried footsteps.

……………………………………….

Glorfindel´s POV:

With dread, I watched the Lord of Imladris walk past me, a strange blank look on his face. He did not even recognize me as he hurried out of the house. With quick strides, he crossed the front porch and was soon out of my sight after rounding a cluster of bushes.

This would not have been upsetting for me, had there not been the dramatic events from the evening before.

Nearly 300 years have passed since Celebrían was attacked on her way back home from visiting her parents. Shortly after her ordeal, she had left us to find healing in the West.

On that day joy and laughter had left with her. Elrond, the one elf I had sworn to protect by charge of the Valar, had blamed himself for his inability to heal her. While he repaired the bodily damage done to her without great problem, he was unable to heal the illness of her mind.

Long had we denied the insight that true healing would only come to her in the Blessed Realm. Even if this decision had hit all of us like a blow, it was the hardest for Arwen.

Arwen was much too young to understand why her beloved mother, one of the foundations of her life, would no longer be with her. Every day she had talked herself into believing that her mother was doing better, yet the signs of fading, clear for all of us to see, could not be recognized by the youngster.

I still shudder when I think back at the moment when Elrond had announced that Celebrían would leave for the West at the next opportunity.

With an ashen face and a thin voice, the healer had bid me, Erestor, the boys and Arwen to gather before breakfast. He needed to speak to us privately. Instantly I had known what his message would be and had braced my soul against the grief already assailing me.

While Erestor and I had accepted the message that Celebrían would leave us with mastered self-control, Arwen had sprung up and shouted at her father. She ranted that he had not done enough to make her Nanneth better and that he was just tired of having her around, among other accusations. Elrond had suffered the emotional outburst without any outward reaction, even when Arwen had pounded her fists against his chest lost in hysterical sobs and screams. He did nothing to stop her or to comfort her.

Erestor had finally grabbed the wrists of the youngster, turned her around and pressed her face against his shoulder, but not without sending an irritated look at his Lord. This should have been his role, yet Elrond had stood immobile.

From the corner of my eye, I had observed the twins and their reactions; or rather the lack of one. This had worried me even more.

While Elladan had only snorted in disgust and left the room in a rush, Elrohir had looked at his father as if he was a stranger. He had not said a word, only cried without making a sound.

Years had passed after Celebrían´s departure and never had the former ease returned to the House. Arwen had left for the Golden Wood, no longer able to suffer the gloom and the lingering grief in her home.

The twins had vented their sorrow by riding out day after day, killing orcs whenever the chance arose. Often they trailed the brutes, following them into their dens and slaying them until every orc had breathed its last.

For 300 long years Elrond and I had prayed every day that their superior fighting skills would again serve them and bring them back home to us unscathed. Many times our prayers went unheard.

They had sustained many wounds, some grievous, some not, and Elrond treated each one. Every time he had begged his sons to not ride out again, and every time they had pushed their father back, unhearing his pleas. They were living with never-ending hatred which was eating away their souls.

Throughout these years the Lord of Imladris had endured, his children had become unreachable for him. Never, not even once, had he complained until the events of the previous evening.

To be continued………………..