Chapter 2: Déjà Vu All Over Again

Chapter Text

Months after Frodo and Celebrian had received their treatment and they’d all travelled back to Tol Kimbalaer, Elrond returned with Celegorm in tow. And he was overjoyed to find Maedhros at his daughter’s establishment - along with Fingon, Fingolfin and Fëanor.

 

Fëanor and Maedhros, of course, were very happy to see Celegorm again as he’d been gone from them for several decades now. They were also pleased to see how happy and at peace he seemed to be. Obviously his stay at Tol Kimbalaer had agreed with him. And when Fëanor asked about the Ambarussa, Celegorm grinned and said, “They’ve met ellyth that strike their fancy and are actively courting them. They are the granddaughters of Lord Thranduil.”

 

And Elrond exclaimed, “Ha! I think I know the ones! Tis Eiliana and Eliadmë, isn’t it?”

 

“So they are courting Sindarin princesses. That is well.” Fëanor nodded in approval.

 

“Don’t be a snob brother!” Fingolfin reproved, and then, “Their names are….interesting.” he added, quaking a brow at Celegorm, encouraging him to provide more enlightenment. Something he was willing to do!

 

“Aye! They are called Gwenyneilian - the Rainbow twins. They are the twin daughters of Lord Belegon, Lord Thranduil’s eldest son and they have the most fabulous hair you’ve ever seen. Truly, they are very fair of face and form - but that hair! Eru! Truly a marvel. From what I’ve heard they are used to such attention and are very good at fleeing from it. The Ambarussa are very lucky they are so pretty for it caught the ladies attention.”

 

“Well, Lord Thranduil’s wife is very fair with lovely red-gold hair. And from what I saw all but one of her children share that trait. So, surely not that rare in that family.” Fëanor remarked, but privately thinking they were a good looking family.

 

“Aye, atar. But Lord Belegon wed a Sinda ellith with silver hair and that trait mingled with the red and gold in their hair. Nobody has hair like them! Not even their siblings.” Celegorm explained.

 

“Ah! That sounds lovely. But more importantly, I share your joy, brother, that you may be gaining additional daughters soon.” Fingolfin said jovially, slapping his brother on the back before he left to go out and join his son in Lórien’s gardens.

 

Watching him leave, Elrond turned back to Fëanor and said, “I’m very glad that you’re here. Did you know?”

 

“Maybe? I knew I suddenly had an urge to get Ñolo and come here. Of course Maitimo insisted on joining me and that meant Findekáno had to come too. They were ever inseparable in the old days of their youth.”

 

And Elrond frowned and said, “But why him? What does he have to do with all of this?”

 

“Because he’s my brother and I asked him to come. And you need to get over whatever grudge you have against your grandsire for he at least deserves your respect if not your love. And know this - If anyone can annoy Mandos into letting my son go it’s him. A feat I personally resent as I did my utmost to annoy the Doomsman every moment I was within his Halls and not once was I ever called to his seat to give an accounting of myself like a naughty elfling. Ñolo, on the other hand, was called so often he would actually complain that Námo was late calling him for his quarterly dressdown and he had things to do.” Fëanor smirked and Maedhros laughed in agreement.

 

Elrond was disconcerted by the rebuke of Fëanor over Fingolfin and he couldn’t properly explain why he was so uncomfortable around him - to the point where he’d been rude to him on more than one occasion to his everlasting shame. 

 

But he put that aside as he looked fondly on his foster-father and he just couldn’t get over how well he looked! Everything about him was different. From his two hands, his unscarred face, the light in his clear eyes to his ready smile. All the years he’d been with the brothers, he’d rarely seen either of them smile and Maedhros almost never! 

 

He’d heard about the beauty of Maitimo in his youth and while none could ever say Maedhros was unattractive, even as scarred as he was, this ellon before him proved those tales true. And now that healed and comely face was regarding him with affection - something he’d rarely allowed himself to openly show in the past.

 

Elrond responded in kind, smiling as he said, "Oh atar! You look wonderful. I'm so happy to see you thusly."

 

 

“You were not surprised to see us, son? How did you know of Maglor’s fate?” Maedhros asked and didn’t see his father glance sharply between the two as Elrond had called him atar and his son referred to Elrond as his son.

 

“His traveling companion told me. You know him. Daeron of Doriath. You should talk to him.” Elrond smiled sadly.

 

“You never saw him after we sent you to Gil-Galad?”

 

“Nay! I searched for him for almost two ages and he never let me find him. I know I was close quite a few times but he still had his voice and could make it so I couldn’t see him. I knew it. He knew I knew it and it broke my heart. I tried one last time before I sailed and I knew he was close. That he knew I was leaving and I begged him to show himself. Alas! He did not.” and his voice broke on that last and Maedhros took him in his arms and soothed his Foster as he had when the lad would awaken from one of his nightmares. Or rather visions, for he was plagued with the Sight even as a child.

 

“Hush, son! All will be well. You’ll see. Trust that we’ll make it right and he’ll be with us again.” Maedhros soothed and then kissed him upon his brow and Elrond knew this meant he was free to leave. Murmuring his apologies he made a hasty escape. Fëanor looked at his son expectantly, brow raised. 

 

And Maedhros looked at him in surprise and said, “What? I told you what happened when we attacked Sirion. How we found the sons of Elwing and took them hostage. How she flung herself into the sea with our silmaril and how we kept them. It became something of a blessing to Laurë and I that love grew between us. They were the only bright light in an otherwise grim and dark time in our lives.”

 

“Why didn’t he say anything to me? If he is your Foster, that makes him my grandson.” he snorted in annoyance and added, “And here all this time I’ve been goading him and calling him nephew!”

 

“He is your nephew and my cousin. And goading him is fine. He’s much too serious from what I’ve heard. But he’s had a lot of grief and loss in his life. It is good to see him with his family all around him.”

 

“Yes, son. Including you. And when we get your brother back we’ll all be whole.”

 

“Yes, atar.” Maedhros smiled.

 

~On to the Halls We Go~

 

They left two days later with next to no plans made. This didn't sit well with Elrond but he was overruled. His Noldorin kin had apparently learned that jumping in blindly with both feet worked best for them and disaster only struck if they made plans. So....no plans!

 

The Fëanturi siblings - Námo, Irmo and Nienna - had realms that were quite close to one another, as far as things stood in Aman. And as Aegnor maintained a stable at their establishment, the party set out on fresh Amani horses and covered the leagues easily. They only had to spend one night on the road and entered Námo's Realm by noon the following day.

 

When they reached the Halls they were not quite sure how they would approach this and Fingolfin, almost on a lark, just decided to knock on the doors and see if anyone would answer. Had Fëanor known what his brother was about to do he probably would have decked him then and there. But it was an impulse and when Fingolfin raised his hand to knock, Fëanor was just taking a breath to halt him when Fingolfin’s hand passed right through the door. Trying again, the same thing happened. Startled, he met his brother’s shocked eyes and grinning mischievously, walked inside leaving the others gapping at the empty spot he was just standing in.

 

“Huh!” Fingon exhaled, “Well! I suppose we should wait and see if he comes back out with our Makalaurë.”

 

Elrond and Daeron were shocked and Maedhros said, “This is what we were talking about. That’s what he was able to do when we were all stuck in that Eru-Forsaken place.”

 

“Yes, indeed! I remember well when he walked through my cell wall and I asked him what he was doing there. I was in no mood to see him of all people and it didn't occur to me to wonder how he was there! And then he said That’s a silly question! I died - obviously . The next thing I knew he’d grabbed me and hauled me through the wall and right into the waiting arms of my sons! I’ll never forget that - ever!” Fëanor grinned.

 

“Sooo, now what?” Daeron asked.

 

“Well, we have provisions and we might be here for a while. I suggest we find a nice place and wait.” Maedhros said.

 

“If we are here for a long while I can always go fishing for our supper.” Celegorm said.

 

“What? No venison?” Fëanor asked.

 

“Oh, I don’t eat like that anymore. Fish and fowl, yes. No meat.” and Daeron looked at him with approval while Fëanor gaped at his son and said, “What did those Sindar do to you?”

 

“Not just Sindar, uncle. All Teleri think us barbarians for eating meat.” Fingon said and he saw Maedhros nodding in agreement.

 

“Didn’t you notice my daughter’s boarding house never served meat?” Elrond asked, slightly amused despite their circumstance. Elrond liked things ordered and planned out and this whole situation sat ill with him.

 

“Yes, but I just figured Aegnor was a poor hunter.” Fëanor said dryly.

 

“I’m sure his hunting skills are just fine. But my daughter probably won’t tolerate it. She even trained her mortal husband to give it up and men like their meat.” Elrond smirked.

 

“Well, never mind that! Let’s just go and find a place where we can relax yet still keep an eye out for their return.” Celegorm said and started walking towards a tree with Elrond and Daeron following close behind.

 

Maedhros and Fëanor exchanged a shocked look as hunting was the one thing Celegorm had always loved and excelled at, before they too, followed after with Fëanor muttering about flighty Teleri and “If he starts talking to that tree or a single bird I’m taking him home and never letting him out of my sight again!”

 

“You are unlikely to get any grandchildren out of him if you do that, atar.” Maedhros smirked.

 

~Maglor's Return~

 

It actually wasn’t all that long before Maglor exited the Halls - alone. Oddly enough it was Fëanor who was both relieved to see his son and then becoming increasingly frantic when Fingolfin didn’t appear. “We have to get him! We can’t just leave him in there!” he exclaimed.

 

“No - it’s ok atar. Lord Mandos said he needed to talk to uncle and we are free to leave. He said he would see to it that uncle was returned to his home safely.”

 

“I think I'll wait. I don’t feel right about leaving him in there.” Fingon said, himself worried about his father. And then a maia exited and asked to speak with Fingon privately. The others looked on in concern and Elrond suddenly felt very uneasy and regretted every unkind word he’d ever said to his grandsire. Watching from this distance he could see a relieved look cross Fingon’s face and even a ghost of a smile and then he grinned and nodded and then walked back to their group. 

 

“Makalaurë wasn’t misinformed. Mandos does indeed wish to speak to atar and will return him home directly. He’ll get home before any of us are even on the road a full day as he'll return him directly to Arcoa Maril. I take it we'll return to the Boarding House before we head to the coast and the ships?”

 

Fëanor nodded and said, "Aye, that's the plan. If nothing else it will give Laurë a chance to acclimate before we sail for home." and then a thought occurred to him, “He didn’t leave you any ginger, did he?” and then wondered when Fingon began laughing and held up a pouch, saying, “The servant of Mandos just handed this to me.” and they could all smell the scent of ginger wafting in the air.

 

~A Peculiar Offer~

 

Mandos simply looked down his nose at Fingolfin, lips pursed and then he abruptly said, “Have you ever thought about coming to work for me?”

 

Slack jawed and frankly gaping at the Doomsman, Fingolfin said, “Why in the world would you want me around?”

 

“Makalaurë didn't wish to leave - until you came. You seem to have a knack for clearing out the place. There are times when that comes in handy.”

 

“Why would you wish that? Wouldn’t you be bored with nothing to do and nobody to….heal?” Fingolfin stumbled a bit over the word heal, for his time there had felt anything but healing!

 

“I’m anything but bored!” Námo said wryly, “You forget that mankind are finite Beings and I can tell you that they increase exponentially - which also means they die - exponentially. With so many of them passing through my Halls, some become misplaced as they tend to wander. I have many maiar who can track them down, but they don’t seem to have your talent of - how shall I say this - …”

 

“Chasing them off?” Fingolfin supplied helpfully.

 

“Just so.” Námo said heavily. “I understand that you have your own life and interests. What I’m offering would be a sort of modification so you can answer when I call.”

 

“Like what was done to my nephew, Glorfindel?”

 

“Not quite. Glorfindel was modified in such a way he’d be more resilient in case he came up against the more malevolent Beings that were still loose in Endor.” he paused before going on, “What I’m proposing will be a bit more profound in your case. You see, you’ll need to operate in the seen and unseen realms and while you already have that Grace to a certain extent, this would be much more profound and include the ability to operate outside time and space. Not bound by the physical laws that bind all Children of Ilúvatar.”

 

“But why?”

 

“Should you agree, it’s the simplest solution to not rob you of your life. Your time. Every Child of Ilúvatar is bound by their time here. That is a Law we of the Ainur cannot interfere with. This is different from changing the fate of some of both the first and second born. That didn’t involve taking time from them including that….decision regarding certain members of your own family.” and Fingolfin knew he was referring to Tuor, Idril, Eärendil and Elwing and Fingolfin would beg to differ! Time had certainly been stolen from all of them! But he wouldn’t argue since it seemed to him that Námo had no part in that decision and no doubt argued against it.

 

“I understand - I think. Say I agree, what exactly would that mean? Especially to my family.” Fingolfin asked.

 

“That’s just it. You would have the ability to come and go as you Will, with the understanding that you must answer when I call you. You could spend as much time completing your task as needed and return to the exact moment you left. You would miss no time with your family and for all intents and purposes they need not even know you’d left at all. I’m also willing to allow you to share this knowledge with your wife, though I would restrict it to just her as she would no doubt feel the difference with your marriage bond. But I would hesitate to allow that knowledge to be shared with any others within your family.”

 

“That’s quite an offer. May I have some time to think on it?”

 

“Yes. I will allow this for once it’s done there is no undoing it. It will be permanent. This is something you will no doubt wish to discuss with your wife. Once you have come to your decision you need only call me and I’ll bring you back here no matter what that decision is. You have the right to tell me in person.”

 

“Thank you, my lord.” Fingolfin said and it was the first time he’d ever referred to the Doomsman with any modicum of respect and it was duly noted by Námo, though he gave no sign of it. Fingolfin continued, “Whether I decide yea or nay, I want you to know that I understand the honor you do me with this offer.” he concluded and bowed in respect.

 

And with that Námo smiled at the ellon and sent him on his way.

 

~Ñolofinwë's Decision~

 

When Fingolfin called to Námo he was instantly transported to the Halls and was again standing before the Seat of Mandos. A place he was very familiar with. 

 

“Well Ñolofinwë. What is your decision?” Námo asked.

 

“I’ll do it.” Fingolfin said firmly.

 

“May I ask your reasoning?”

 

“Yes. Mostly curiosity, but if I can help people either return to life or to move on to rejoin Ilúvatar, well, I believe that is a laudable endeavor.”

 

“Honest and worthy. Very well - I do not regret my offer.” And he held out his hand and said, “Take my hand, Ñolofinwë.”

 

And doing as he was bidden, Fingolfin took the Doomsman’s hand and he immediately began to change. His perception changed and with it he felt other changes as well. It began to be overwhelming to him as his knees buckled - it was just so much!

 

But he felt the reassurance of Mandos, soothing him and telling him he was safe - that he had him and wouldn’t allow anything to hurt him. And then it was done. And to all outward appearances Ñolofinwë Finwion would be unchanged except by those perceptive enough to see the change to his eyes, but to those of the Ainur he was now as one of them.

 

 

And now, as Námo rose him to his feet, Fingolfin looked around him in wonder. For this wasn’t the same room he’d just been in. But Námo smiled, privy to his thoughts now that he was Fingolfin’s lord, said, “It’s the same room. It’s just that you now see it as it really is. You don’t think I could stand it here if I saw it the way you children did, do you?” For all about them were plants, flowers, waterfalls, trees with singing birds, deer and...where those fluffy bunnies? If Fingolfin didn't know better he'd swear he was within one of Irmo's gardens.

 

And when Fingolfin looked at Námo himself, he was shocked by what he saw. Gone was the gloomy Doomsman and what he saw was a youthful and beautiful face, with a relaxed and pleasant expression and he couldn’t help but exclaim, “This is what you really look like?” and then, “I’m sorry! That sounded terrible, my lord.” he said contritely and was surprised when the Doomsman laughed heartily, full of good humor, and said, “Oh, don’t be! I think I’m going to enjoy having you around, even if only occasionally.”

Námo

 

“Huh - you look just like your brother. So, what do you really want me to do?”

 

“Just what I told you. You have a knack for encouraging people to leave. People wanting to stay here is not what my purpose is. Which is the main reason for the doom and gloom of their surroundings. If people saw what this place actually looked like they might wish to stay. As you can see, I like to have living and growing things around me. I am, after all, part of the same thought as my brother Irmo.” he smiled and Fingolfin really was shocked by how beautiful this Vala was. He was beginning to realize that what he and his race saw of these Beings wasn’t exactly real. That their perception was skewed.

 

Again perceiving the ellon's thought, Námo said, “That’s not exactly true. It’s more like we simply exist in several realities at once. You are now privy to those other realities. How you saw us before, how everybody else still sees us is just as real. It’s just part of this reality.”

 

“It frightens me somewhat that this should be confusing - and yet it’s not. I understand you completely. But if I may….am I allowed to ask questions?” Fingolfin asked.

 

“You are wondering about before. Why you and so many others were kept here so long when my stated purpose is to hasten your release.” and at Fingolfin’s nod, said, “I have a lot of autonomy, but even I have to obey at times. We all do.”

 

“I thought as much, or I should say I had a sneaking suspicion. Our quarterly discussions back then….you more or less said enough to let me know that it wasn’t by your Will that we were being held indefinitely.” he was silent a moment and he knew he was being indulged right now and it would probably be the only time he’d be so indulged. So taking advantage of that, he asked, “If you would, did you….did you…”

 

“Did I arrange it so you could do exactly what you did back then?” Námo asked in amusement, and tilting his head to side-eye the ellon, asked, “Do you really want me to answer that?” he asked and Fingolfin laughed and said, “I think you just did. But as a former king I do understand the importance of plausible deniability.”

 

~Arcoa Maril~

 

The next time Fingolfin saw his brother Fëanor, he knew his brother could see something was different about him right away. You couldn’t be the Spirit of Fire and not have certain perceptions and even on an off day, Fëanor was not blind. And seeing the fear in his brother’s eyes would just not do! So he decided to nip it in the bud and he was in his brother’s mind, showing him everything and then ending with some of their more adventurous shenanigans when they were children. And he said, “You are my brother and I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

 

“But you’re one of them now.” Fëanor said uneasily.

 

Rolling his eyes, Fingolfin said, “You are not seeing this properly at all, Náro! Think of it as having an inside man. If something happens that I’m privy to and it affects us? Affects us either personally or as a people? Then you’ll know instantly.” and it was such a Ñolo thing to say that it instantly soothed and calmed his brother down. But, “Now you have to promise me this goes no further. I was given permission to tell Anairë - only!”  

 

“Pffft! He had to know I’d find out and that means Nerdanel will know as soon as I see her!”

 

“He must, for I’m quite sure that bit about him seeing everything is true.” and shuddering added, “Can you imagine how boring that must be?” Fingolfin said in horror.

 

And then they both heard, “Yes, but it does give me time to think of a snappy response and that is fun!”

 

And rolling his eyes, Fëanor said, "Eru! I now see why he picked you! He's just like you!" and both could swear they heard soft laughter...