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Good Neighbors  by daw the minstrel 19 Review(s)
meckinockReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2004
A couple of things about your stories never cease to amaze me, Daw. The first is how accurately you can get inside the head of a 12-year-old boy. I know, you had one yourself once, but that was quite a while ago (sometime you'll have to let us know how much of him is in your Legolas)! The scenes from Legolas's point of view just crack me up - the stuff that runs through his head is so dead-on and yet subtle; little things like him eagerly but surreptitiously listening to Ithilden's report of the attack because he knows as soon as the grown-ups remember he's there he'll be kicked out. His relentless gleaning of information and analyzing it to figure out what's really going is evidence of a keen mind, and yet in typical adolescent fashion he's mainly interested in how everything affects him personally!

The second thing that strikes me is how you manage to impart such a physical sense of your characters without really going into that much detail in the way of physical description. Stephen King talks about this in his book, "On Writing." He says if he wants to read descriptions of clothes, he'll go look at the J. Crew catalogue. If I tell you that Carrie White is a high school outcast with a bad complexion and a fashion-victim wardrobe, I think you can do the rest, can't you? I don't need to give you a pimple-by-pimple, skirt-by-skirt rundown.

Well, Daw, you don't even give us that much description of Ithilden but I don't need it. All I need is two words: Ithilden strode. This guy displaces a LOT of air when he walks into a room. I'm having trouble imagining Ithilden walking on top of snow. I'm having trouble imagining him walking silently (or Thranduil, either). Dang, that is one substantial elf. Makes it all the more fun when he gets discombobulated over Alfirin.

It's interesting to watch Legolas learning about Men, knowing that the lessons he learns now will be important to him later in life. It must seem very strange to a young elf to learn that a Man his age would have lived nearly half his life!

I'm sorry I'll have to wait a few weeks to get caught up on this story- it'll probably be done by then!


Author Reply: I do borrow moments from my son's childhood, have Legolas do things that he did. But here's a scary thought, Meckinock. The thing I most consciously and consistently borrow is Turgon. My son had two best friends and Legolas's are very much like them. I heaved a huge sigh of relief when the "Turgon" friend was not admitted to the same university my son was because they had been planning to room together.

I love writing from Legolas's point of view. The most ridiculous things can seem perfectly acceptable when he thinks them. At the moment, Ithilden is annoying him and he's trying to stay out of trouble but look for moments to let his brother know what a jerk he's being from Legolas's pov.

You make me feel better about not describing much. I've been reading a P. D. James mystery. I think she is a wonderful writer and I was noticing how much more description she does than I do.

And I love your reaction to Ithilden. Yes! He does "displace a lot of air." That's perfect!

Have fun in Boston. I like the town.

DotReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2004
Hey there. I knew I’d miss something! I’m just back from a wonderful – but tiring! - week in London and this has done wonders to combat the depression at having to come home…:-)

I just loved the image of Thranduil and Legolas making arrows together. I particularly liked the fact that Thranduil seemed to be involved in it, rather than just observing. And Legolas is so serious about it! I had to laugh at him thinking of it as a “pleasant and absorbing” task. That kind of thing would drive me nuts.

Eilian has been injured again? Oh well, at least it’s always a good way to have him home for a while ;-) I don’t know *why* Thranduil would think Eilian would have discarded the crutches without being told he could… I kind of felt bad for Legolas there for a moment when he nearly had to choose between his brother and father. It probably didn’t even dawn on Eilian that he could be interrupting quality time. Luckily Thranduil seems to have spotted Legolas’ dilemma and is willing to share his time with both sons. Where’d Eilian get peacock feathers anyway? Won them in a wager, I’d say …!

LOL at Legolas trying not to look too interested in what Ithilden was saying – OF COURSE Thranduil copped on to what he was doing!! Ithilden must be very frustrated if it didn’t occur to him not to just stride into the sitting room and rant about what had happened. I’m intrigued by this single Man who would actually shoot at a raft full of Elves with no apparent intention of robbing them. I can understand Esgaroth’s warriors being needed elsewhere other than patrolling the river, although as of yet I don’t see any reason at all why Ithilden should have to send aid to them. Perhaps he should just send extra warriors whenever a trip for supplies needs to be made. But then, life is never that simple. At least not in your world!

Legolas is right, Thranduil never does speak about Dagorlad! I suppose they learned enough about that particular battle and everything involved in it in their lessons but I wonder if he ever talks to his sons about their grandparents? Legolas seems to be quite good at looking at history very objectively – although I doubt he shared his little revelation with his father! Btw, Legolas’ reaction when he thought the attackers were Orcs just so *sad*. Obviously the fear of them that he felt as a child when they killed his mother has never really left him. In some ways they’ll probably only leave his nightmares when he does eventually get to confront them and fight them for real.

Ah, Turgon makes an appearance again. How annoying for Legolas that Turgon already knows about the raft when he had managed not to let slip anything about it! You know, I think Turgon might have a bit more respect for a warrior’s life and all it entails if any of his family actually were warriors themselves. I know it’s terrible, but at least Legolas has learned not to be excited by the thought of wounded warriors. Tell me that Turgon isn’t going to inform any of the masters that experience would be better training for them that what they’re doing! Because I wouldn’t put it past him…

Well, that lesson with Penntalion was very, uh, informative! I can tell you did a lot of research! I’m afraid I probably shared Turgon’s assertion that “An arrow is an arrow”. But now I know better! Oh, and Thranduil might actually be quite pleased to be asked what he thinks.

You made me laugh with Ithilden and Alfirin! It seems Legolas has begun to realise the reason behind his brother’s sudden fondness for walking him home. It was just too funny the way they are all so painfully polite and then stand looking at each other in awkward silence. And when they finally head for home Ithilden’s mind is clearly far from his little brother! You just HAVE to show Alfirin and Ithilden getting over their awkwardness sometime! The idea that children of Men are part of their army seems to be playing on Legolas’ mind a little. That fact together with the realisation that there were arrows that could even pierce armour must be a rather scary thought.

I get the impression that while Thranduil isn’t particularly against Men, he’d rather just not to have anything to do with them if at all possible. It’ll be interesting to see how their relationship develops. In later stories he still seems fairly dismissive of them and I seem to recall him saying something about Men being fools on at least one occasion. But on the plus side, at least they’re not Dwarves! So another trip to Esgaroth is in order? Interesting. And unlikely to be uneventful, methinks. At least we know that Legolas doesn’t end up there if that trip for his birthday is his first time there. Unless I’m getting confused – which is very possible! But there’s always Eilian… And Turgon is SO going to land them all in trouble at some stage!!

Great start! :-)






Author Reply: Was the London trip a vacation, Dot? I've been to London twice and enjoyed it both times. For an English lit major, it's a great place.

I couldn't be attentive enough to detail to enjoy making arrows either. But it seemed to me to be exactly the kind of thing Legolas would like, especially if he did it with Thranduil. He's making his arrows beautiful too, which seemed Elven to me. I got carried away with the research on arrows, I think, but I told myself that including all that stuff would increase verisimilitude!

Oh! I love your idea of Eilian winning the feathers. I think I have to use it. :-) Another reviewer suggested that when Thranduil asked him whether he was allowed to walk without his crutches, he may have answered politely enough, but what he was thinking was, "No, Adar, and I am flaunting my disobedience in front of you." LOL

When I wrote that bit about Legolas's tension over the possible presence of Orcs, I was thinking about how they keep him away from any talk of such things. I wanted to show that that's not entirely silly on their part. He does react to it and I'm sure that Thranduil can tell.

I'm thinking about visiting Turgon's house in the next chapter, but I'd have to work out his parents a little more in my head. Still, it would be fun to see his home.

I'd like to show Ithilden and Alfirin getting more comfortable together and I will probably try to do so one of these days. The problem is I have a very narrow window in which to do it. In "See the Stars," he still thinks she might like Penntalion and Eilian advises him to court her. In "Prodigal Sons," which is set only a few months later, they're betrothed. So I'd have to put it in between there. I had intended to do it with this story but then I decided I wanted it set in 2510 so I could take advantage of the Balchoth stuff. Sometimes I feel terribly limited by my own stories, the visit to Esgaroth stuff being one example. In this story, I'm going to have to violate one thing I already established and pretend it didn't happen. It's just too hard to work around.

Hope your return to work isn't too much of shock, Dot. Thanks for the review.

DuchessReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2004
A wonderful start to what is obviously going to be another very good story. I can't wait to see where you're going with this one. *vbg*

Author Reply: Glad you liked it, Duchess. It always takes me a while to get into gear with a new story, but I hope to have the various threads of this one unraveling very soon!

White WolfReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2004
I'm glad you're back to a young Legolas story. I love it when he, Annael and Turgon are together. They are such a fun trio.

I liked your description of the various arrows and their uses. It shows good research and adds depth to the young ones' training.

I'm curious about the man who attacked the raft. That should be an interesting plot line.

Author Reply: I enjoy writing about the three friends too. I think they'll have some things to deal with in this story. In the next chapter, I'd like to see if I can show them at Turgon's house. That should be tough. His parents are perplexing.

I had fun researching arrow making and kind of got carried away, I think. But I do like these little details.

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/30/2004
Do you think Turgon would have been held in the hands of Namo until he developed some common sense? The whole rebirth thing seems to require the awareness of and dealing with faults - so Turgon would have to deal with the weaknesses that brought him to his death. But Turgon's - complete lack of any grasp of personal safety or reasonable conduct - is such a part of what makes him charismatic, that without that he might actual turn out to be quite a boring adult. It would be really fascinating to have Annael, Legolas and Turgon reunited in Valinor - with Annael and Legolas, vastly experienced in all the perils of life in Arda throughout the late Third Age, encountering a Turgon who never really lost his naivety. Would they really have anything in common any more? - or would it be one of those school reunion moments, when you realise that this friend you have held in your heart over the intervening years is really a very uninteresting person with whom you have no point of contact beyond the fact that you were young together?

I hope, one day, you decide to do a Legolas at 37 or so - just at the point when Alfirin and Ithilden may have learned to speak. It would be interesting to see if they ever managed to proceed beyond gauche before they were joined. I imagine Ithilden at least managed enough joined-up words to ask her to wed him.

Author Reply: I've been talking a little bit to Nilmandra about this. Because it's true that Turgon would in some way be purified by his experience in the Halls of Waiting. He would grow wiser. But he has to stay Turgon! So how would I do that? It's very challening actually. I find him a sad figure in a lot of ways. I wonder how that can be changed?

I am with you on the Ithilden & Alfirin thing! The trouble is that I have a very narrow window to write in. In "See the Stars," which takes place in the spring, Ithilden still thinks she might like Penntalion and Eilian encourages him to approach her. And in "Prodigal Sons," which takes place by the summer of the same year, they're engaged. So I'd need to squeeze something in there. Curses on all the stories I've already written that tie me down! Even this story here is bound in some way by a fact I've written in a different story that I intend not to talk about!

The KarenatorReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/30/2004
Nice set up. The men are such unpredictable creatures...still are for that matter. I can't wait to find out who this man is that caused problems as the raft-elves were polling down the river. I'm just guessing here, but I'm thinking he might show up again. Or at least others like him.

The fletching of the arrows and the types of arrowheads used was interesting. Made perfectly good sense. Except to Turgon. “An arrow is an arrow,”

I can't say I blame Legolas for being suspicious of Ithilden suddenly becoming so attentive. Of course, it's not Legolas that commands the commander's attention, but Legolas hasn't quite figured that out yet.

I get the sense from Ithilden and Legolas's conversation about boys joining the military forces of the men that Legolas isn't quite sure what he thinks about that. There's no doubt that he wouldn't be allowed to join the forces yet, or that Turgon thinks that it's a good idea to skip training, but by his reflection on the arrowheads that pierce armor, it looks like he's pondering the seriousness of a boy being so exposed. Of course, a major tip-off that something is a bad idea is when Turgon thinks it's a good one.

As always, I'm excited to see a new story. And as always, I look forward to seeing where we're headed.

Carry on, Karen

Author Reply: The relation between Elves and Men is one of the themes of this story. It's obviously an important one for Legolas personally, but also I think it's important for all elves in the Third Age. So I'm trying to think about it a bit, and really the conclusion I come to is that Men are a mixed bag and that must take elves back a bit.

I had fun looking up the stuff about arrows, so I probably got kind of carried away in writing about it. And Legolas is a pretty observant kid. He sees what Ithilden is doing. The problem he's had until now is making sense of it. But I think it's starting to dawn on him.

You're right about Legolas's feeling about boys in the army. And yet, you know it's historically true that boys did go with the troops very, very young. How awful.

BrazgirlReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/30/2004
Nice start! I love your Legolas and his brothers are really nice on this story. Ada Thranduil was also nice... And Legolas seems to realize what is going on between the couple!

Author Reply: I think that Thranduil is really struggling to spend time with Legolas. In my opinion as a parent, he'd better do it now because soon his son will be old enough to cease thinking that it's an entirely good thing to have him around all the time. I remember when my son became embarrassed that I even existed and spoke to him when his friends were in sight. Of course, maybe elves don't do that. :-)

emjoReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/30/2004
Yeah another story, and all the brothers are home. I'm excited!

Author Reply: I need all the brothers for this one! I have some things to work out for each of them and Thranduil too. I hope you're still excited a few chapters from now!

thechevinReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/30/2004
I was so pleased to see a new story and get involved once more in the lives of Thranduil and his sons
There are already several distinct strands being made I think and I look forward to some Eilian and Thranduil moments as well as Ithilden and Alfirin and Turgon is there with his knowledge or at least what he sees as knowledge I think Ithilden is right about Legolas' friendship with this elfling
I loved Legolas's noticing the tensions between his father and brother and his frustration with Ithilden and Alfirin seemed right on the button you could almost see him hopping up and down with a scowl on his face at their foolishness
a lovely start

Author Reply: First chapters are hard to write (as you probably know) because you have to kind of set the stage and you don't have the momentum of the story yet. So some of those strands are going to be stronger than others, and I have a surprise planned for the next chapter. :-)

Legolas is perceptive and sensitive. And he's getting old enough to learn to keep his mouth shut about what he notices!

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thechevin.

LeraReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/30/2004
I'm happy as always to see you've started a new story. I like this age. Good times. I thought it was sweet to see Legolas relishing time with Thranduil and I thought it was cool to see them doing such an Elfly father-son thing. Although of course my Dad cleans guns with me so it could be a father-daughter thing too.
Speaking of girls, do you think the Elves ever had female warriors? I'm kind of leaning toward no. I thought it was interesting that the elleth took separate archery classes. I fence and my class is pretty male dominated. I'm trying to picture one of your masters(think Maldor) teaching a class of all girls. lol. I'm imagining me and my friends in his class. "What do you mean we can't talk? We're only stretching! We have not seen each other all week!" and then there's the great line: "Did you just call me fat? He just called me FAT!" I'm really not sure why my fencing instructor likes me. He seems to have solved the problem by immediately placing me in the drill line where he wants me-far away from Maggie and Kelly. lol. Good times.

Hope to see an update soon! Have a good week!

Author Reply: I was trying to think of things that Thranduil and Legolas could be doing together while conversations were going on. Usually, I have the talk happen at meals, but the arrow making also fits in with the age of the boys here, I think. They're gradually realizing what their future is going to be like.

Hm, female warriors. My answer is I don't know. I went with "no" because Tolkien doesn't show any among the elves (although you could certainly argue that Galadriel used a sword). But I'm open to the possibility that there are some. I can certainly accept stories in which they appear as canonical.

You're making me laugh with your fencing class stories. If Ithilden has any sense at all, he keeps Maldor far away from the younger students and lets him work only with novices, who are training to become warriors.

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