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| Time's Turnings by daw the minstrel | 27 Review(s) |
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| pipinheart | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 10/12/2005 |
| Beliond is charming somewhat and irritating at times, poor Legols, no wonder they get on each others nerves... Author Reply: I would never, ever want Beliond breathing down my neck day and night. | |
| tigerlily713 | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 2/16/2005 |
| I've been going to the local library and printing this out and reading it at any interval I can find. What a great story! I'm thoroughly enjoying your characterizations, and as others have said, I love learning more about Ithilden. Author Reply: I'm so glad you're enjoying it, Tigerlily. Young Ithilden has been interesting to think about. He was a straight arrow kind of guy, I think, but I can imagine that his stubborness and arrogance occasionally led to trouble. | |
| lwarren | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/30/2005 |
| It was good to see Maltanaur relaxing in that tree at the beginning, and able to enjoy feeling the life in these trees not affected by Shadow. The conversation with Beliond was enlightening also...Beliond is really very proud of his charge, tho' all said he'd rather be fishing than keeping the King's youngest safe. :-) Too much excitement, too many memories. I guess Thranduil had multiple intentions in assigning him the care of Legolas. Not only was Beliond a capable and wise warrior, but he had been a father, too. A good choice for a keeper. And this would bring Beliond back into contact with other elves...bring him out of that self-imposed loneliness he was in - whether he wanted to or not! :-) Dale was an exciting place for Legolas (me, too...you really described it well), what with the shops and the carts and the smells and the colors and the bells ("Can't they tell time?" HA!) I enjoyed seeing the town through the eyes of the youngest member of the group. Tavor is a feisty thing, isn't he? He certainly did his best to embarrass the dickens out of Legolas, too! I expect he will be working with his horse later! LOL I do love the exchanges between Legolas and Beliond - oops, I mean Nana! :-) And I like how they are "companionable" when they begin their walk through Dale while Eilian is visiting with the King. But I dearly enjoyed the way that juggler challenged Beliond...and the way he picked up the challenge and ran with it (or perhaps juggled it would be a better thing to say)! Way to go, Beliond! Add a little tension with that shopkeeper that looks like one of those bad guys that kidnapped and whipped Legolas before and you have a wonderful chapter just full of interesting moments. Great, as usual, daw! I can't wait to see how Eilian does with King Bram! linda Author Reply: Thranduil is a wily old guy to appoint Beliond as Legolas's keeper. I think that Beliond needs Legolas, needs the contact with others that guarding Legolas provides. He also needs to ease up a little though. Legolas has shown himself ready for more independence as a warrior. If he hadn't, Todith wouldn't have sent him as guard. But everyone around Legolas is determined to protect him! Writing about Dale was fun. It turned out to be a lively place. Actually, I've been intrigued by it since I read about Elrond mourning for "the merry bells" of Dale. And then it's always fun to show a young elf trying to figure out what in the world men think they're doing. Bells to tell time? What will those crazy humans think of next! I thought about the juggling when we were on vacation early in January and I saw a juggler. He can go in the Dale street scene, I thought, and then I realized that elves might not be impressed. And what elf would be less impressed than Beliond? :-) | |
| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/30/2005 |
| Great chapter!!! I could almost see Dale, but, above all, the scene with the juggler, it’s so wonderfully and fluidly written I could almost picture the colour of his clothes, his pointed hat with little bells and the way he bowed with a flourish while producing the knives and his look when he picked out Beliond and the way he made his way towards the elves, and the expression in their faces... ( I know you didn’t write that but it was so very vivid it all showed that way in my eyes!) Well, your style is usually very fluid and perfectly smooth (IMHO, I’m far from being any authority..) but this particular scene struck me especially and I wanted you to know. I like the way you’re picturing Legolas as a young adult, a bit petulant and impulsive, a bit childish, a bit of a nuisance, yet honest enough with himself to see it: he now sees his horse can become an inconvenience, he sees that Beliond is a far deeper entity than he had credited him for, and all in all he’s learning that the world goes not around himself and that there is more to many things that what he can see. That’s the hard job of growing up and I’m glad you’re showing it wit such detail and realism. The opening was great, both keepers exchanging notes about their charges, though it was a bit sad when Maltanaur rejoices in the forest, comparing it with the trees in the Southern Border Patrol Area, life must be really hard for those elves! “Eilian laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “I see I have been neglecting your education.” Mm I bet this is a subject Thranduil would not disapprove of, were Eilian to actually enlighten his brother. I guess that’s the area of expertise both father and middle son are experts at, and I hope Thranduil would see the benefit for Legolas to be taught by the second best master of the arts in the realm!!!. Funny Eilian, I hope he gets some points with Adar at the end of this mission!!! Author Reply: The juggling scene was a lot of fun to write. I was trying to picture a street scene and thought of a juggler, because I'd just seen one (we were on vacation) and then it occurred to me that elves might not be so impressed by juggling. Their superior reflexes might make that easy for them! And I could also see grouchy looking Beliond as a perfect target for a street performer. (I think he's slap a mime silly.) Your analysis of Legolas is really sharp. I liked it a lot. I do think you have him just right. He's very young yet, but he's a good kid and is willing to learn. He just needs some tempering with experience and everyone has been trying to keep him from getting it! I added that scene at the start between the two keepers very late in creating this chapter. I don't have them together very often and it seemed like a shame to waste the opportunity. I hope all of Thranduil's sons get some points from him at the end of this story. I think they all value them more than they say. | |
| esamen | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/29/2005 |
| And hello again -- I enjoyed reading this so much that I had to come back and review again. "With a flick of his wrist, Beliond gathered in the knives, sheathed his own, and held the other three out to the juggler. The people in the crowd burst into applause, and after a moment’s hesitation, the juggler bowed and took back his knives. Beliond fished a small coin out of his belt pouch, tossed it onto the blanket at the juggler’s feet, seized Legolas’s arm, and drew him down the street, with the laughter of the audience trailing after them. “It would probably be best if we did not make ourselves too conspicuous,” Legolas repeated dryly. Beliond shrugged. “I thought you wanted me to be agreeable. Besides,” he added with a straight face, “we are the only Elves in the marketplace.” " I want to let you know how much I enjoy the interplay between men and elves, and between Legolas and Beliond, in this chapter. You have little frictions and changes going on all the time, and it's just delicious to read. The Easterling merchant comes in like a rumble of thunder in the distance on a sunny afternoon. It's just so well done. Can I bribe you with anything to make you update ASAP? Looking forward to the next chapter! I want to see Eilian and Maltanaur meet with Bram . . . as well as find out what Beliond is going to do with the nasty merchant . And I'm pining for wonderful Legolas adventure and heroism. Author Reply: I'm glad you liked it! It was fun to write. This story is a little tricky because with the four elves all in Dale together, there's a lot of potential stories to be told and while I probably can't do all of them, I'd like to do justice to as many as I can. I'm working on the next chapter, roughing it out. I had some trouble with Eilian and Bram. We'll see how it goes. | |
| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/29/2005 |
| Oh my, this one almost slipped by me. The little notification thing didn't come to my email--our stupid email server is always losing things. I would have been so mad if I'd missed it until the next chap came out. This was priceless! Loved it! The opening scene with the keepers (I just love that term) was great. Maltanaur is so wonderful--he handles that conversation with Beliond as well as he handles Eilian. Beliond's duty likely does nearly bore him stiff and scare him to death. Poor guy--just knowing the part of his backstory that his own son was killed on Dagorlad is enough to make me cry. I like him and his inability to give Legolas too much room. Dale was excellent. I died laughing when Legolas said, "They cannot tell time on their own?" The things Men can't do (and the thing they do) must be a real shocker to the poor young elf. And Beliond's reaction was perfect--'too much noise when you're sleeping.' That is so him. Eilian and Legolas and the staring maiden were great too. Eilian laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “I see I have been neglecting your education.” If Thranduil had heard that he would have panicked. Great line. Eilian was obviously the perfect person to send on this mission. I think I would actually be afraid to meet Eilian. I might even act like a fan girl around him. I always find it amusing when Legolas has to cope with Eilian changing roles from big brother to captain or Lord Eilian. How bizarre that must be for him. But that was handled smartly here--who is protecting who? :-) And the dark man who loooked like and Easterling is obviously scary trouble. Love how you portrayed the reactions to him all the way around. But of course the best part of this was the 'go get a feel for the people in the marketplace.' Beliond juggling! Beliond actually playing. Must be a sign of the Final Battle! That was priceless. I would pay money to see that filmed and see Legolas's reaction to it. What a great idea. The whole portrayal of Dale brought it so much to life. Great job! This story is turning out so well (as usual, but this one seems especially rich). Author Reply: Beliond has really grown on me as a character. Actually, both keepers have. They were sort of small time extras at first, but they were around so consistently and were such a constant part of my characters' lives that I had to think about them a bit and then they got interesting. Dale was fun to try to picture. And then I had to try to think about what would seem strange to an elf and a wood elf at that. A walled town must have made them a little claustrophobic, I think. The juggling just sort of happened. I was trying to picture the street scene and decided a juggler might be there, but then I realized that Elves might not be impressed by a juggler. And then Beliond stepped up and said, "Give me the blankety blank knives!" So I did. You don't think Thranduil wants Eilian to teach Legolas everything he always wanted to know about girls but was afraid to ask? LOL. Maybe not. I also like writing the moments when my characters slip from one role into another. Eilian as captain and Thranduil's representative is hard for Legolas to accept, I think. His personal relationship with this brother is the one he values. | |
| The Karenator | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/28/2005 |
| There are so many good lines in this chapter that I have a hard time picking just a few. I'll go for general themes. I enjoyed the two keepers' discussion. You highlighted the differences in their personalities well. Maltanaur is so easy going compared to Beliond. Even with Maltanaur, Beliond is short and grumpy. Fortunately, Maltanaur knows him well enough...and respects him, I assume...that he isn't offended. Actually, I think Maltanaur finds the old goat rather amusing...even bating Beliond a little with the 'looking forward to Dale' comment. “They cannot tell time on their own?” he asked uncertainly. What a wonderful, innocent comment. Dale was fun. You gave us such a visual of the layout and the people. The sights, sounds and smells were such a nice touch. And an important point to Elves moving among men. Why is it that men are so dang unwashed? I know that's the way it was before Palmolive started advertising and we could raise our hands with confidence, but I've always wondered what was so hard about figuring out that soap and water go together like soup and sandwich. I suppose this a whole 'nuther discussion. Just one of life's little unanswered questions. Okay. The swarthy man. I think he's the local dangwath pusher that's been serving time since Eilian busted him and now that he's out of the slammer, he's looking to cause those nosey Elves a little grief. Maybe too much time has passed and the dangwath don is pushing up daisies, but this could be his son! Or grandson. Humans pass on hate like family recipes. This guy is not just set dressing; I can feel it! :>) Eilian is such a natural at charming people. The people of Dale will elect him mayor before he leaves. And the cute girl was checking out the cute Elf. And typical of males of all species, he was completely oblivious. I don't think Adar would appreciate Eilian giving Legolas lessons in flirting. Beliond juggling. Who knew? And billy-goat gruff was enjoying himself. I think Beliond has quite a past. I hope we'll find out a little more. Wonderful chapter. I'm looking forward to the next. Trouble is on the horizon...I hope. :>) Karen Author Reply: I love Maltanaur. I think he's a very tolerant person, willing to let others be who they are and not feel the need to change them. And he's generous. He sees the good in people and is not easily irritated by them. So he's a good match for Eilian, and he's understanding with Beliond. I had a lot of fun thinking about what Legolas might find strange in Dale. It's always sounded charming to me when Elrond mourned for Smaug's destruction of "the merry bells of Dale." And after writing about it, I really feel bad at the thought that all of this is going to be destroyed in another 200 or so years. I got to thinking about your question about why men were unwashed. I think one thing is that their clothes weren't very washable. They had few changes of them and a lot them were wool. And then, they worked hard and probably sweated a bucket. You're making be laugh about the dangwath. I think you need another story about it. You just like the word. Eilian intends to tell Legolas that girls look when you're not watching them, so you have to watch out of the corner of your eye and then turn your dazzling smile on them. Thranduil will be so pleased! | |
| esamen | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/28/2005 |
| Such a treat to see a new chapter. I had to wait until late tonight to read it. I love this story -- I really enjoy the keeper relationships. This is wonderful new kind of read. I don't know how you keep coming up with new relationships and ideas to explore! “Legolas does well enough,” Beliond said gruffly. “He is good with a bow, and he is willing to learn.” Aaawww . . . when I read this, I just had to stop and smile. Crusty old Beliond, so proud of his charge! You are right about the difference in relationships. It's so fun to go back and forth between the two pairs. But I just wish that Legolas would open up to Beliond (I'm a little worried about this Easterling who is taking a notice in him). And I wish that Beliond would open up a little to Legolas. If Legolas just understood a little more about WHY Beliond does what he does, he could follow Beliond's line of thinking and then the two of them could certainly work together more fluidly instead of bumping up against each other all the time. But, as Tolkien says, things that are good to have and days that are good to spend don't make much of a story. I'm sure that you know what you're doing in leading us on such a mysterious path. I can only hope that my blond hero gets into lots of delicious danger because of his heroism, and not because of his inexperience or his horse's flightiness. You know me -- I like my Legolas h/c poured on with a gallon bucket. Make that Easterling really nasty. The worse the Man, the better the story, I think ;-) As ever, happy typing, and I'm really looking forward to the next chapter! Author Reply: I'm glad you're enjoying it, Esamen. Sending them all to Dale together has proven to be more interesting than I expected. Beliond and Legolas are interesting together. I wondered if Legolas might not have asked Beliond about himself because he's young and Beliond is old and the young often see the old as uninteresting. But maybe Elves don't feel that way. It is true too that Beliond tends to be a loner who doesn't disclose himself very easily. That must have served him well as a spy, but in the long run, it's not good for him. I think Legolas has come to associate Beliond with his father. That seems as natural to me as that Beliond would associate Legolas with his son. I think that's the catch here and that's the situation that they each need to recognize before they can get past it. | |
| Firnsarnien | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/28/2005 |
| Oops, pressed return instead of tab. Sorry for the blank review! ;) My, my, my! Whatdawehavehere, hmmmm? LOL Eilian AND Leggy rolled into one glorious adventure, hmmm? This is going to turn out to be an utterly wonderful tale I'm sure! It's already taking on a scrumptious note of intrigue! Yes indeed, who is that merchant that looks so foul! And what in the dickens is going on with the rumors the men told Thranduil? LOL I almost feel sorry for poor Maltanaur and Beliond. Having to guard Leggy and Eilian by themselves is a feat, but guarding them "together", *shakes head* I'm sure those two bodyguards are not going to be wishing that Leggy and Eilian travel together again any time soon! I can only imagine what is in store for them and their charges!! LOL Oh yeah, Eilian and Leggy! Leggy and Eilian! Woo hoo! Toss in a good dose of Beliond and Maltanaur as overprotective nana's...Yes indeed! What a tale! What a yummy scrumptious tale! I truly cannot wait for more! *sigh* Author Reply: On SoA, it's easy to delete those blank reviews. I love this site. There do seem to be dark things astir in beautiful downtown Dale. The sons of Thranduil (and their keepers) have their work cut out for them. I'm thinking that in some ways, Beliond's and Maltanaur's priorities might conflict. Beliond wants Legolas safe, but Maltanaur wants him as a guard for Eilian. That might be interesting. Nana Beliond might pop an artery. | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/28/2005 |
| I really did like Beliond and Maltanaur - Beliond in parituclar just shone in this chapter. Their conversation and chat about their charges was great - very paternal too. Legolas's youth comes through in this - blushing, his amazement and inability to concentrate because of all the new things - it hits home how young he really is. And Beliond is such a Nana! The reader clearly sees how he plans to 'save' Legolas from the fate of his own son. Its touching, but I am sure for Legolas a bit frustrating too. Thranduil chose well, even if Beliond is a bit grouchy at times. And juggling was great too! Beliond is just full of surprises. I am glad to see more of him, and will be thinking of fodder of other things I want to see (including a story with him post quest). :-) Author Reply: I added that scene with the keepers together after I'd written most of the rest of the chapter. It just occurred to me that I shouldn't miss this opportunity to show them talking since I get it so seldom. I've been trying to think about his backstory a little. I knew about his son and wife, of course, because I've said that before, and I knew he was a spy, but I never thought about where he spied or what that must have been like. Beliond is indeed full of surprises. I thought of the juggling while we were on vacation. It just tickled me to think of Beliond doing something we think of as kind of silly. You go ahead and think of things! | |