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| Good Enough by The Karenator | 12 Review(s) |
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| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/27/2005 |
| I’m sorry I’m late reviewing this thrilling chapter, but I took a well-deserved Easter vacation… So! Aldamir had one of *those* days! Poor commander! By the end of the day he was negligent, a bad commander, a worse big brother and son, a fool who’s been fooled and one with no time to indulge in serious personal relationships! It’ll take him some time to come up from deep down that bottomless pit you threw him into! It was very realistic to see him overreacting with guilt (it was understandable, too) for it is so common in efficient people, when things go wrong, and they react blaming themselves when there’s no one to blame but circumstances. The best boss I ever had used to say, “incidents will happen” every time the unexpected showed up. Thranduil’s been so understanding! I really liked how he dosed his approach, knowing exactly how much support his son would be ready to gulp down each time! (Once he overcome his first shock, though!) And Aldamir’s reaction when he discovered Elenna had fooled him was priceless too! His painful introspection was so well –done, it was such a deep blow after the nightmarish ride and Legolas injury that it seemed only too much for him to cope with...it moved me. “…in a primal release that harkened back to a distant pain that was born out of the birthing of Arda.” Wow. I loved that sentence. It so wonderfully sums up their (our?) inner connection with Arda! I think Seregon’s been quite a patient and supporting friend through all this, but now Aldamir really deserves a smack upon his head! Let her explain, man! This time the changing POV proved a big surprise for the reader, too! It was great to know they had been up there for the whole incident and before! (a bit chilling, though, did they get to read the reviews too ?;-) (Fervently hopes she hasn’t written anything unseemly) And the fight with the spiders and its aftermath was… wow! I was sitting on the brink of my chair by the end of it all! I loved the hissing spiders. It scared me to death the first time I read The Hobbit, and I still find it wonderfully creepy!!! And Daeron did behave! Poor thing, though, having to remain there for the sake of the “public eye” I felt deeply for him! I hope we’ll get to hear Elenna’s version soon…I’m sure there’s an explanation for this, and I hope we’ll yet see poor Aldamir blush and pound his head against the nearest tree-trunk! For now, things look pretty dark, though! Great chapter! Now I’m on to the next one, to see how off the mark I am! Author Reply: Easter vacation? You go, girl! I hope you had a good time. But we're glad to have you back. Aldamir did have a bad day. Nothing went right and to his way of thinking, it's all his fault. Like Thranduil tells him, he's young in age and young in his duty. A little hyper-efficient at this point. Also as Thranduil told him, the longer he does this job, the more he'll come to realize that he can't control everything. But I think this is a trait that Thranduil recognizes and has most likely spent many years dealing with himself. And Thranduil's immediate reaction was to hold Aldamir responsible, but once he had a moment to think--and listen to the queen--he realized that he should take his own advice. Aldamir was completely blind-sided by Calith's announcement. Right out of the blue. Talk about sucking the wind out of your sails. I imagine he was thinking how he needed her after the spider fiasco and then to find out that he had been deceived was more than he would wish on his worst enemy. I'm glad you like the line about pain. Such deep pain does seem primal and basic to our existence on Arda/earth. I'm pleased that you thought the changing POV worked. I wanted to see the events of this chapter from Aldamir's perspective since he was going to be in the thick of things. And we got to get an adult's POV...though filtered through Aldamir's personal reaction. Spiders...I hatesesss them.... There must be more to Elenna's story. She didn't act like she wasn't interested. And Calith looks like a piece of work. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm sure if you've been out vacationing that your laundry must be calling, so I doubly appreciate you taking the time. Karen | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/26/2005 |
| Humblest apologies. I’m really behind on my reviewing this week. So the whole sorry scene has been witnessed by the master and the commander (there’s a Russell Crowe joke in there somewhere)?? That could have interesting repercussions… My God, that whole battle with the spiders was tense! Aldamir must have been frantic. All the novices seem to have done exceptionally well but I must say, Daeron was amazing. This is his worst nightmare, but he just got on with the job at hand until it was over. I’ve discovered too that hissing, speaking spiders scare me a lot less than ones that creep along the trees. *shudder* “Then come for me!” I loved that moment. Aldamir is just getting p’d off now. I get the impression he probably treats errant warriors the exact same way! There’s something so moving about the image of Seregon holding his younger brother while poor Daeron retches. And Legolas!! I nearly fell of my chair when the knives suddenly dropped to the ground! You did a great job portraying Aldamir’s fear and desperate attempt to keep his self-control and tend to his brother. I feel bad for Erelas too, having to let them go, even if it is only for a short while. But aaww come on, why couldn’t they take Daeron home with them. Not fair!! I guess we wouldn’t know what happens with Belas and Alar unless he stays, though ;-) The ride home must have been hell. Imagine knowing how bad things can be with a bite from the black spiders and having every reason to expect that it could be worse with these new ones. I almost cried for Aldamir when he felt his father look at him with such blame. My mind was telling me that this was just his interpretation of it but still, it was so hard not to scroll down and see what happened between them!! And I was definitely seeing the screen through a blur when his mother held his hand for that moment. Thank heavens Aldamir finally got some good news about the spiders. He needed to be able to take some decisive action and stop brooding on things for a while. “I am pleased to say that Elenna and I are to be wed.” Eh??? How much more is Aldamir going to have to take?? His flight from the palace just about broke my heart! Apart from not deserving any of this, he certainly doesn’t deserve to feel like a fool. I’m a little suspicious anyway that there’s more to this. Is that betrothal something her parents wanted more than she did, maybe? Of course, if she’s betrothed she shouldn’t have acted that way at all and definitely should have told Aldamir. But I’m going to wait (impatiently) and see what happens! After all, no silver rings means they haven’t had a ceremony yet so she can still change her mind without causing too much scandal! Seregon is wonderful! I’d definitely want him around if I needed some support. I just love the thought that he shoved the report into his tunic and took off after Aldamir because he knew he was upset. I really liked the scene between Aldamir and Thranduil. His father gave him as much reassurance as he possibly could but it was still a reminder of how much more experienced Thranduil is and how resigned he has become to making difficult decisions and knowing that things will not always turn out as they should, and that sometimes people get hurt. His pain for Tarondor was tangible and difficult to watch but at the same time at least Aldamir knows that his father understands. “I suppose this is what your naneth sensed.” I know she’s worried about Legolas but I wish she wasn’t distracted because I really want to know if this is all that she sensed about them!! I suppose it is. And Aldamir has learned a painful lesson about dismissing his mother’s feelings. I really feel for him at the moment. Apart from his pain and confusion, I hate to see him question his own worth and feel undeserving of the support of others. This was a really great chapter, Karen. I’m becoming far too affected by these people’s lives! :-) Author Reply: Please don't apologize, Dot. I'm thrilled to hear from you anytime. Yes, Russell Crowe, I mean Aldamir, was in the tree the whole time. Belas and company were putting on quite a spectacle. Belas has bellowed one time too many and he's been caught red-handed. The spiders caught everyone off guard. Poor Daeron. He came through, but it sure did upset his stomach. The difference in hissing, talking spiders and the nasty brown furry ones in the trees is that this time it was fight or be spider lunch. When the chips were down, Daeron's training and survival instincts won out. Not to be morbid or anything, but I'm glad Legolas's being bitten surprised you. I was hoping that I didn't give this away too soon. The trip back to the stronghold was probably the longest trip of Aldamir's life. He had no real idea what to expect from the red-banded spider's bite, but he felt sure that it wouldn't be good. And not only had his brother been bitten and he was scared to death about that, but he was going to have to tell this kid's father, who also happened to be his own father and his king. And for him to have to tell his mother was even worse. Poor guy felt terrible and assumed all the blame. Even I felt bad for Aldamir when Calith dropped the betrothal bomb. Talk about being blind sided. For the first time in his life, he loved someone truly and wholly and then this crap! True, she doesn't have a silver ring and this leaves open that there might be something more. She sure did act like she returned Aldamir's affection. And you're right; she should have told him about Calith. Seregon is going to need a vacation after all this. He's taken it on the chin nearly as much as Aldamir. He is a good and loyal friend and he loves Aldamir like a brother. I think Thranduil's immediate reaction to Legolas being bitten was anger. When he had time to calm down, and I think the queen was able to point out that this anger was not necessarily or appropriately directed at Aldamir, Thranduil was able to take a step back. He was a good person for Aldamir to talk to. Thranduil has made many hard decisions and he truly understood where Aldamir was coming from. Good ada. Aldamir did learn some lessons of his own and he won't repeat the mistakes again. On one hand, this is good, and on the other, some things shouldn't be avoided for fear of a pain. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this chapter, and that you feel involved in the lives of the characters. Aldamir will be back. Right now he's lying down with a cold cloth on his head. Seregon is in the Dorwinion. Thanks so much, Dot. Karen | |
| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/24/2005 |
| Gosh, I read this yesterday at work and forgot that I didn't leave a review. Sorry! This was a great chapter! Poor Aldamir! I about had a stroke when I realized that he had heard everything Belas said. It would have been bad enough to hear a report about what happened. He heard it first hand. And saw it. Older brother Aldamir might feel sorry for Legolas/angry at Belas but Troop Commander Aldamir had to be furious. And the spider fight was well done. For some reason I like writing spider fights better than fights with orcs but I still think fight scenes are hard to do. Good job and good job showing the aftermath. I think the young warriors' reactions were very realistic. And I was really surprised to see Legolas get bitten. Aldamir is really having a horrible day. All the interaction between Aldamir and Thranduil were great. But as if that wasn't enough, then he meets up with Elenna and her surprise (she says trying not to put no spoilers in the reviews). I definitely was not expecting that! I am dying to hear the rest of the story with that! Author Reply: Oh please, don't apologize; I'm thrilled you read it and enjoyed it. And it was really nice of you to come back and leave a review. Thanks. Yes, Aldamir heard the whole he's a fool speech Belas gave. The commander is none too happy. Belas is on thin ice. His mouth really did get the best of him this time. The commander will have some hard decisions to make when this kid comes up to pledge his faith to the king. Belas is good with his weapons and shows some leadership ability, but you can't have someone with such a bad attitude in the ranks. What's a commander to do? :>) Aldamir was touched that his brother and cousin came to his defense, but here was another example of things the commander could not allow to go on. And it was his brother of all people. The spiders are so creepy. They make good enemies. I agree with you that battle scenes are hard to write. I've never been in such a situation and hope I never will, so all I have to draw on is imagination and a really good beta. I'm glad that it rang true to you. Really, as if Aldamir didn't have enough to feel bad about, Calith shows up to put the icing on the cake. I'm glad you were surprised and that this wasn't predictable. And yes, there is more to the story. Thanks again for taking time to read and review. Karen | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/23/2005 |
| It's reassuring to know there's someone who had an even longer day than I had - poor Aldamir! I just want to send him to bed. His emotions are very vivid- his anger at Legolas, his fear for the younguns during the spider battle and when he realized Legolas was hurt, his guilt, and then Elenna's betrayal. Ouch. The subdued but tense demeanor in the aftermath of the spider battle was great. The little details made it real - Aldamir panting, shouting for the troops to check in; calling for Erelas and finding him at his shoulder, treating Legolas with quiet urgency. Erelas's little cameo was intriguing. We don't see much of him, but his whispering to Legolas was very touching. And I loved Seregon standing with his bloody sword in hand, holding Daeron as he emptied his stomach. And then on the long ride back to the stronghold, when Aldamir's guilt started working on him, remembering when Seregon was bitten (there's a story you should write!). And then, when they got back to the stronghold; Thranduil's piercing stare. I would not want that stare directed at me! It was good of Thranduil later when he had the heart to heart with Aldamir to bring up Tarandor's death. That must be a hard one to live with. Aldamir must have been running on fumes by the time he got hit with the big revelation about Elenna and Calith. How agonizing just when he really can't take much more. His sense of duty carried him through, though. It was painful to watch him fall back into "well, I'm really too busy to think about romance anyway" mode. I liked how Seregon sought him out. I really think the shifting POV worked well here. After having the last chapter narrated by Daeron, it was intriguing, in this chapter, to shift to Aldamir's POV and see Daeron as just one of a hundred things he has to worry about. It's quite entertaining to jump from one person to another and see them from one another's point of view! I wish I could remember who's next... Author Reply: What a nice review! Thank you. Aldamir did have a no-good-rotten day. I'm pleased that you found his emotions vivid and realistic. He was on an emotional roller-coaster that he just couldn't get off. Falling back into the 'I'm never doing this again/too busy to be bothered with romance' mode felt sad to me too. I can recall that feeling once or twice in my life. :>) We don't know much about Erelas. He's out in the field so much that we've had little chance to get to know him. I'd like to investigate him a little more, see what he's got going on. Eventually, maybe he'll show up for longer than 10 seconds. Poor Daeron. If the spiders weren't bad enough, he lost his aewbas in front of his brother. Seregon was a good big brother here. I imagine he remembers his first battle, and he probably didn't feel too well afterwards either. Seregon and the Spider Bite, huh? I'll have to think about that. Wonder when that happened? I'm glad the shifting POV has worked out well for you. I enjoy seeing what's going on in everyone's head too. Of course, the challenge is to 'hear' the different voices, and that was the reason I wanted to change POVs. I hope I've heard them correctly. Thanks so much for all your help. You keep me on the straight and narrow...or try to. I can still botch up simple sentences. Oh! Spider snack is next. Karen | |
| terryb | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/23/2005 |
| Here I am at work, reading. Shame on me. It was worth the risk... What an intense chapter! I knew eventually we'd see those wretched spiders. With on everything you've given us about Daeron before and on what you show us now about him, it's easy to conclude just how competent he is; he's an elf you can trust to have at your back, even when fighting spiders. Poor Aldamir. Nothing seems to be going right for him. I'm also betting Legolas will be none too happy when he awakens. Author Reply: LOL! I hope you didn't get caught reading at work. But I'm so pleased that you read it. Yep, those spiders were bound to show up. Daeron did do well, especially under the circumstances. He's going to be a competent warrior, even if he never gets over his hatred of creepy crawly things. I don't think Legolas will feel very well either when he wakes up. Being an elf, of course, he'll heal quickly. Aldamir might need more than a wafer of anti-elleth to get over this. Thanks, terryb. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter. Karen | |
| Karri | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/23/2005 |
| A very intense chapter. It made me all teary for Aldamir. Author Reply: Ah, thanks, Karri. Aldamir appreciates your concern. And I'm glad that you felt the tension of the chapter. That's gratifying to hear. Thanks, Karri! Karen | |
| Manderly | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/23/2005 |
| First of all, I just want to thank you for such a wonderfully long chapter and not leaving us dangling over a nasty cliff, though the chapter certainly did not lack breathless moments and thumping hearts. Aldamir certainly had a rough time of it in this chapter. First his little brother gets bitten by a spider and then Elenna abandons him for another. I'm surprised that he's functioning at all, let alone doing such a good job of it. I guess it must help to have everyone being so supportive around him. I certainly hope he gets over the guilt of his perceived failure, and Elenna. Knew there was something off about that elleth. Now I can officially declare my dislike of her, regardless of what reasoning she may have for what she has done. Poor Daeron. At least he only emptied his stomach after his worst nightmare, rather than something more embarrassing. And definitely poor Legolas. This little novice outing will certainly leave memories for all concerned. Author Reply: This one was a long chapter, wasn't it? I'm most pleased that you weren't bored stiff! Poor Aldamir. He's barely hanging on by a thread. His duty has been a life-saver for him, I think. As bad as the spider situation is, he's able to do something useful to keep his mind off Legolas and Elenna. And yeah, Elenna doesn't appear too endearing at the moment. But there seems to be something else going on. Calith is too happy. Daeron hasn't felt this sick since he stuffed himself with aewbas. Not only did he get sick, but he found his cousin had been bitten. He had a rather bad day too. Thanks, Manderly, for reading and reviewing. Karen | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/23/2005 |
| Wow, Karen, you had me on the edge of my seat through that one! I think the novices got a heck of an initiation into the rites of warriorhood. But, it sounds like they fought pretty admirably. Daeron managed his fears, and it sounds like Alar did just fine too. Will Belas perhaps see that, I wonder? And poor Legolas. The spider bite sounds immensely painful and terrible to go through. I felt bad for Daeron being left behind - for all the novices actually. I actually found it funny that as Legolas is unconscious they are thinking about his discipline for fighting! This is one case where I say I hope the lessons learned in the battle outweigh the need for punishment (assuming punishment is for learning and not for well, just punishment). And poor Aldamir. In one day, he is doubting everything about himself - his ability to command, the harm he feels Legolas suffers because of it, and now that Elenna would just a dufus over him. I think we might find she is at least partially a victim of someone's manipulation. Nice job on first person voice - I truly felt in Aldamir's head. Author Reply: The novices did get a crash course in the real life of a warrior. They did well overall. Funny what one can do when it's you or them. Daeron was able to react appropriately to the threat. The masters should be proud. They've done a good job preparing the spider-phobic nephew of the king. As I mentioned several times before, I've been bitten. I took my symptoms and exaggerated them greatly. I also did a little research about bites, blended it all together and got Mirkwood spider bites. So yes, the bites are nasty. I really hated to leave Daeron behind too, but I couldn't see Seregon removing him. In fact, had Legolas not been bitten, Aldamir would not have removed him from the ranks either. That, I think, would be a hard decision for the older brothers. Yes, Adar knew exactly what Legolas had been up to when he saw that bruise. He's already raised two sons and the telltale signs were too obvious. I think Legolas will expect some sort of punishment from his parents, but the masters will handle infractions that occur on their time. Legolas did learn a hard lesson. While he and the other three sprang into action when the time came, they were a beat behind by not paying attention as they should while in the forest. Aldamir has never had such a rotten day, I don't think. He feels responsible for all the ills of the world at the moment. He's having a tough learning experience too. But there does seem to be more to Elenna's story. Something is not right. Thanks for the compliment on the POV. I enjoyed getting to know all the characters from their perspective. I'm very pleased that you felt like you were truly inside Aldamir's head. Thanks again for everything, Nilmandra. Karen | |
| Leaward | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/23/2005 |
| Ak! So many emotions in this one. The pacing of the fight against the spiders was incredible -- you kept up the tension and maintain the beat of urgency all the way through. The way the novices reacted afterwards was realistic, and Legolas, well, I didn't see that coming! Once again, your imagery, "it hissed with a sound like wet wood thrown onto a hot fire." I can hear that in my head! His hand drifted over Naneth’s shoulder as he walked past her. A married couple who know when a simple touch is needed as comfort, 'drifted over' what a perfect description. And Calith and Elenna! You really captured Aldamir's pain -- the way his breath is driven from him and he reels and seeks the trees. Another one of those chapters that made me ignore all the stuff going on around in RL until I finished this ... I love how you write -- it's so filled with emotion, it just sucks me in! Author Reply: Thanks, Leaward. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Trying to write battle scenes or scenes where the author wants to keep the action tight is tough for me. I want to put everything under the microscope and do an analysis. What can I say? I have a good beta. :>) I'm glad the spider 'voice' seemed real to you. That's another one...how exactly would a spider talk if it talk? I think Tolkien said that sounded rather raspy. Yuk. Yuk. Yuk. Thranduil letting his hand drift over Lalaith's shoulder is a 'Thranduil-ism', I think. It's a mannerism that I see in him over and over when she's around. He touched her often like she's his anchor--his grounding. Poor Aldamir. I don't think I like Calith very much. He sure caused the good commander a lot of pain. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I love hearing from you! Karen | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 3/23/2005 |
| Oh, goody! I love this story. I just read the first paragraph and I feel so sorry for Legolas, and I really see the value of your shifting POV. Because we've been in Legolas's head, we know how earnest and well-intentioned he is, so when Aldamir is angry at him, we can feel both Aldamir's fury and also how Legolas is going to react. Just brilliant! What a creepy spider attack. The image of them as a undulating darkness make me cringe. What a horrible initiation for the novices, espcially for the spider-phobic Daeron. And of course, Aldamir blames himself. You know, I've been wondering what Elenna's secret is, and speculating that it might have something to do with these spiders, and if that's the case, that's really going to cause problems. But I had never expected the betrothed to turn up! You're so cruel to poor Aldamir, Karen. His musings on his own failings and his father's reaction to him are so touching. I'm now half an hour late leaving for work, but who cares? Author Reply: Thanks, daw. That means a lot to me coming from you. I'm really glad the shifting POV hasn't driven you crazy. This has been a wonderful exercise for me to learn about each character from the inside out. Legolas was trying so hard, but all Aldamir got to see was the flying fist. The commander got an idea of what a pain Belas has been, but to his way of thinking...the commander way...Legolas's behavior is just terribly undisciplined. Can't have that! I'm so glad the spider attack was creepy! YAY! I can't think of much that would be creepier than spiders the size of Volkswagens. And they can talk! Yuk. Aldamir was simply floored by this news. He could not have been more unsuspecting if he had tried. And that knowledge just kills him. Like Legolas, he's trying so hard to be the kind of commander his father needs and this is such a kick in the teeth. He feels he failed not only in his protection of his brother and the novices, but he also failed to see that he was being deceived. I even feel sorry for him and I did it to him. Late for work? I'm thrilled that my chapter could keep you reading. And I'm really glad you don't punch a time clock! Thanks so much, daw. Your support is invaluable. Karen | |