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| Evensong by Rose Sared | 6 Review(s) |
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| TithenFeredir | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 7/15/2005 |
| "That bitch dropped him in the Entwash…” LOL, now that was unexpected, but I do like the occasional glimpse of this less elegant side of the elf. I think he is overwrought from nearly losing his dwarf. "'I will not lose him, Aragorn, against sense or good counsel, I will find a way to keep his company.' The Elf looked away into the wind-whistling dark and Aragorn found himself bereft of words." What I like about the passage that ends here is its restraint. The way you wrote this bit held back on outward expression and still conveyed the emotion--to a greater effect in my opinion. "Without comment he handed Gimli one of his elegant belt knives to eat with. Gimli looked long on his friend and Legolas held his gaze, and then, as if all had been said of thanks and thankfulness, the two of them turned their attention to the meat." You did the same thing here. The other thing I like about these understated passages is that the interactions in them seem to me to be authentically masculine. Males express their deepest emotions in the most oblique ways. And every chapter I've read has had several wonderfully original passages full of insightful detail like this one-- "Her free hand trailed unconsciously along their familiar contours, habit placing her finger into the grooves worn by the uncounted years. The dished granite flags rang softly to her familiar tread..." That's just beautiful. ~TF Author Reply: I am beginning to feel like a man; reflected at twice my actual size and worth by the kindness of your comments.LOL It was hard to convey the vast time Narvi had spent in the caves without too much of the dreaded telling, I figured making grooves in granite might do it, and I am so pleased you liked it. I am originally British and have lived all my adult life in the decidedly repressed male society of New Zealand. A muttered "Good on yer, mate" is all the emotional expression is likely to be heard between blokes here, even if someone has just saved his silly life. It is good that you can cope with that as it has been a consistent critism of my writing from some of my American readers, that is that I write my men as too immature and unemotional, needless to say it is not a critism I have ever had from my european or antipodean fans. Tolkein, after all, was an extreem example of the type, and as a type it is alive and well in most former British colonies. Lovely to hear from you again Rose | |
| Imrahoil | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 6/6/2005 |
| Well, look who's back again. The Gimli basher, hrmpf. There will have to be quite a lot of updates on time (ch. 8 next week!, for example), before I'm going to forgive you, and much do you care about it, I'm sure. Brrrrrrr, an elven zombie, poor Celebrimbor, poor Narvi, it will be interesting to see how you are going to unravel those two and how this is bound to Arwen's experience. When Theresa is back to betaing I hope she's going to do something about the Oops. :-) A very grumpy Imrahoil Author Reply: Fa de la, my dear, and how lovely to hear from you too. Theresa promises to do battle with my anachronisms this week - the poor duck had nice things happening to her (the cheek!) so wasn't able to beta to my command. (Can't imagine what she was thinking - LOL) Chapter eight is written - double Hah - all bar the tidying up and the filling of a few dozen plot holes, and I know you want me to do that. With tongue out of cheek - thanks for the review. I sure have missed everyone, and your whip at my back more than makes any sense. (kinky!) At your command.(potters off to work, sniggering.) Rose | |
| ziggy | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 6/5/2005 |
| Wonderful! I thought this was going to remain incomplete and am so delighted you are writing again! Narvi and Celebrimbor! Legolas and Gimli! I love these resonances - where the relationships of both are explored through the others. So is Narvi the witch sucking everything dry to keep alive her dead lover? 'Mending'? (Great image) Building a mausoleum for Celebrimbor? ANd what are our heroes going to do about it? PLEASE don't kill Gimli off at the end though- or at least, not without a warning so I can skip the end- I cant bear it.And all these references to how vulnerable he is is just sending off warning bells - perhaps Mahal can give him a reward for completing his work? Long life- EXTRA long..after all, he has to go West doesnt he? And that doesnt mean to say you can just get rid of Aragorn instead please (Am I begging- yes. PAthetic isnt it?) THe way you portray the aging of the other characters against Legolas' immortality is poignant and devastating actually- how can he bear it? And hte line where he tells Aragorn he will do anything to keep Gimli with him- is this what Narvi is doing? Or is this something else? ANd what does MAhal want from Gimli (I loved the scene where Gimli meets him- 'you were ever my favourite Gimli') Equally tender and poignant is the relationship between Narvi and Celebrimbor... she has made her own prison, and a bough drops off a tree as she 'mends' - she knows what she has done and ultimately, Legolas will know the pain she feels, I think, when Gimli's time comes. Lots of elfy angst and dwarvish sorrow to come I feel. Oh, and the summoning of the gulls by a very disgruntled adolescent-ish and peeved river-woman - great! I need to go back and read all your previous fics again! Author Reply: Thank you ziggy, what a wonderful review! I am glad I am entertaining you -(evil authorial grin). I try to stick to the basics of canon, but I cannot promise I won't put my poor protagonists through the mill before they get to the only happy ending in Tolkien. (May be more fics in me before they sail away!) This fic is evolving as being very much about the dilemma's of living life until it is ended, with all that that entails - I keep creeping up on Aragorn's decision to die when he did - havn't resolved it yet, but to an extent all these stories are about that decision. Oh don't start me on motivation! Lovely to hear from you. Rosemary | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 6/4/2005 |
| I adored this. You do Gimli so well. Your language is so vivid! All I had to do was read the first few lines to see both what happened and how Gimli reacted, and you didn't have to tell me a thing. As I read them, I was both charmed and deeply jealous. Legolas is good too. I like his "uncharitable" treatment of the River's Daughter. He's a very royal elf, acting out of both personal anger and pique at her violation of the agreement she had with Thranduil. As always, the contrast between the deathless elf and his aging friends is touching. Celebrimbor and Narvi. Well that's a new one! I look forward to seeing what happens. Author Reply: daw is jealous of moi! I die happy.(snig) Now if only I could match your wonderful narritive drive, your OC's that have their own fandom, your vivid evocation of a world, your complete grip on complex family relationships and friendships - your effortless prose.I won't go on, here anyway. Loves ya daw - you inspire me. Rose | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 6/4/2005 |
| That was a fantastic description of cold and wet. I love the 'strangling' of water from his beard - it sounds as if you have experienced being this wet and this cold. And the descent into hypothermia, where even moonlight feels warm is . . . very good. Legolas doesn't want to see Gimli (or, I suppose, Aragorn) as getting older. Which is understandable, although blinkers aren't going to make it go away. Melusina brought the gulls? It would seem within the power of a river-daughter. I hope they don't upset Legolas. The references to a powerful witch are fascinating - but the end, with Narvi and Celebrimbor just grabs my attention. I want to know what's going on! That's one very old dwarf looking after one very dead elf. More, please. Nurse those muses carefully. Treat them to chocolate and champagne if that's what it takes. Author Reply: Thanks for the review Bodkin, I am plying the muses with enthusiasm - they are indeed most welcome to take up residence in my home! I grew up in England - cold and wet comes with the territory and now in New Zealand it is winter, and where I live wet is what winter is - and I even kid myself it is cold although it really isn't, just miserable. Age and Ageing seems to be what this fic needs to talk about, and the river- daughter is a minx and out to get our fav. elf. Glad you are enjoying I hope to update weekly. Rose | |
| lwarren | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 6/3/2005 |
| Hello Rose! I am SO glad to see you take up this story again! I've missed reading your wonderful tale of Gimli and Legolas! I see that nothing has changed with our intrepid dwarf - still as proud and stubborn as ever! You had me shivering with cold in that first part...had to go cut the air conditioner up (and let me tell you, that NEVER happens in Texas in June!). I was worried about our dwarf slipping so deeply into hypothermia that Aragorn would never be able to retrieve him, but it seems they arrived in time! I absolutely loved the conversation between Aragorn and Legolas about age and Gimli - how Legolas could not see what the passage of time had wrought in his friend. Aragorn's command for him to "take the fond lenses from your eyes and really see him" was so sad. I hate that Legolas had to watch time slowly rob him of those he loved, although he seems quite adamant about that not happening with Gimli. Gimli's awakening in Legolas' arms was priceless! All outraged pride and in full prickly mode! I loved it! I am also intrigued with Melusina, that "faithless creature", (LOL) who remains bound by the Prince (who seems quite put out with her) :-) and seems to be calling all manner of water creatures to her aid. That should be some confrontation! Now...what have we here with Narvi and Celebrimbor? And Valda - a new ring, or one of the originals made for the dwarves? That's interesting...that's very interesting.......... So very, very glad you are back, Rose! Wonderful chapter (and I'm glad the next one's knocking on the door ready to get out!) :-) linda Author Reply: Linda, how lovely, your reviews make me ashamed to have taken so long to get my stuff together. I am glad you still think my characters are in character- It is the middle of winter here which means it is not any great stretch to write cold and wet, how nice to think of a place that needs aircon on instead of a heater! (Mind you where I live is hardly cold even by NZ standards, my children at uni further south accuse me of being decadantly soft for even needing a heater.) Narvi and Celebrimbor - just imagine existing in some way for over two thousand years, gotta make you wierd I reckon. Valda's story will be part of this one, she has some scary properties that magic ring.(and this from the person that made her up!) Lovely to hear from you - I hope to post 8 next week. Rosemary | |