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Deific Flame by Bejai | 7 Review(s) |
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Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/11/2005 |
Finally a new chapter! Geez, I should talk... its taken me long enough to leave a review... but, you know well about such RL detours. Just a *few* things that stuck me in this story: Amroth saying "What divine edit tells you that leadership means abandoning your own needs?" Very revealing that. Celebrian's determined declaration about time healing all wounds despite what she went though and was going to go through. Very revealing that too. The man in the mud asking Celeborn about his lost son. Almost eerie. The stalwart Limnen. I love OCs and he is a good one. The description of aftermath of the wave. Just blow away by your writing talent, this entire chapter. Celeborn trying to speak the truth without prejudice, but with leadership. The coming of Isildur's ships and Isildur's effervescence ;) I like his suspicion that his interrogator might be using Sauron's tricks. And that he recognizes a commander when he hears one. Nice that he ends up in an affectionate truce with the ancient silver lord. A man respecting untamed Nature, but loving it as well. Which don't mean he ain't gonna try getting some'um past him. Celeborn and a scion of Celeborn! Too cool! And such a chatty little thing! :D No, it just cannot be that easy for Sauron to be dead. Nope, not at all. That was some amusing manuvering on Isildur's part. Then, for all his machinations to be proven foolish. Ha! But, you were the clever one in the end, putting in those last words - "the return of the king". Loved that! Bring on Sauron! Author Reply: I'm just honored that you took the time to review at all, considering RL challenges. Glad you enjoyed this chapter; you actually had a lot to do with it. The end conversation between Isildur and Celeborn was inspired by several conversations we've had. I love the idea that Aragorn, here in another age, is Elu's heir. Leaving Middle-earth in his hands seems wonderfully appropriate to me! Glad you're enjoying Amroth and Celebrian. I've been trying to telegraph their natures and fates without being too heavy-handed. Not sure I always suceed, but I do try ;) I'm so glad you commented about the man in the mud! It was meant to be a subtle, eerie breath of foreshadowing. Isildur was fun to write. In many ways, he was more perceptive than I imagined. But also quite bold in his assertions that he could control evil things and places. That will come back to bite him! Glad you enjoyed the tree. I thought that any meeting between Celeborn and the White Tree would have been special, and really wanted to write it. Thanks again for taking the time to review. I sincerely appreciate that you would take the time to think of me. | |
sherlock21b | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/6/2005 |
So sorry to hear about your grandfather. Congrats on the law school. My sister's an attorney, so I know all about the "study for the bar and start a job" experience--best of luck! As for the story: Wow! I was so happy to see another chapter arrive. Very evocative imagery, from the descriptions of the sea to "Celeborn the cat." And the characterization (from hints at Amroth's future foibles to Celeborn's holding court with the White Tree) was spot on. Can't wait to read the next installment. Author Reply: Thanks for the review and the kind words, sherlock21b. Love your username, by the way ;) I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter. It was a real struggle to get it right -- the chapter fought me tooth and nail for the longest time. But hearing from people, hearing that they enjoyed it, makes it all worthwhile. Thanks for taking the time to tell me so! And I'll do my best to get the next installment out in a more timly way! | |
Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/6/2005 |
Bejai, can I hire you to write the descriptions for my stories? Your use of words to create images are as vivid as any painter's brush. Your description of the unfeeling sea is incredible, and the images of destruction so fitting given the horrors we have seen out of the Indian Ocean. I think my favorite, though, is your description of Celeborn. A big cat, indeed - sleek and beautiful and very dangerous. The view of the elves from the perspective of Isildur was very well done. You have accomplished an incredible amount, I would say, since you last updated. I am sorry about your grandfather, but I wish you all the best as you take your bar exams, begin a new job and buy a house. Selfishly, we hope you'll still update this tale. Author Reply: Ah, shucks. *blushes* Thanks, Nilmandra. Since we did have the terrible example of the tsunami, I felt I needed to do it justice in this story. It was important to get it right, and I hope I did. Glad you liked the description of Celeborn the "cat." It was a late addition as I was looking for things to flesh out the dialogue. It's an image I've often associated with him, but never had the chance to work into a story before. Thanks for the review and the kind words. And rest assured, I will continue to update. I have too much fun with this to stop! | |
daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/6/2005 |
As always, this is powerfully and beautifully written. I was interested in the difference in the way Celeborn feels when we look through elf eyes and human eyes. His elven difference shows up when the men see him in a way it doesn't when the elves are among themselves. The wave damage brought back memories of the tsunami. I had never made the connection before. Author Reply: Thank you, daw! I'm so glad you feel a difference between the elves and the men. That distinction is one I work very hard to make. It is always a struggle for me to keep the elves properly elvish, and I'm so pleased to hear I seem to be succeeding. It was eerily tragic to get an example like the tsunami just as I was starting on that section of history in my story. Those images certainly played heavily into my description and understanding of the event in Middle-earth. I would rather not have had a real-life example, though. Thanks for the review! | |
perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/6/2005 |
Yay! so good to read an update from you!!! The long-expected chapter! I like the second paragraph whole, a stunning imagery and such a creative pov! Well, I like the whole chapter,actually, but that paragraph truly impressed me. The aftermath of the tsunami, pardon me, the wave was impressing and heart breaking by its simplicity.. "Where is it written that rulers must suffer? What divine edict tells you that leadership means abandoning your own needs?" Ha! great! Maybe in one of those "how to be a good ruler" manuals you better had taken the time to read instead of pursuing Nimrodel, Amroth? That was such a nice touch, a good insight into Amroth's weakeness! I mean, I understand he's concerned by his mum's health, but this particular piece of reasonning would not ever convince Galadriel... Isildur's trying to claim Sauron's land in retaliation is foolishly appropriate too. I'm awed at how smothly you manage to make uss feel the difference between edain and elves, its is almost overwhelming and tactile! Celeborn's gossip with the tree was amusing, as well as Isildur's wariness of the silver cat... Good, good chapter! I'm sorry to read about your Grandfather's passing, Bejai.(hugs) ON the other hand, congratulations for your achievements! grad, new job, house and car, that's a full agenda indeed. Only you forgot a little detail, Deific flame chapter 10? :-) Seriously, now, congratultions and good luck! Author Reply: Thanks for the review, perelleth! It was your comment in the last review, wondering where this chapter was, the finally guilted me into finishing it ;) Glad you liked that second paragraph. It was one of my favorites, but nearly got cut when I hit on an organizational idea that finally made this chapter work. I was so glad I was able to work it in after all, and gratified that you enjoyed it. Amroth needed to reappear in this chapter, and I needed to make another reference to his future fate. I can't help but think he might be right in some ways, but very, very wrong in many others. I suspect that he and his father are going to have it out on the subject on of these days. Probably at the worst possible time ;) Thanks for commenting about the difference between men and elves. One of the most difficult things for me is keeping a distinct line between them, of not letting the elves become to much like us. In my first drafts they always come off as, I don't know, Californian or something. It is a real struggle, and it is good to hear that I'm succeeding. Thanks for the review and your kind words! | |
Sphinx | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/6/2005 |
*blinks* *blinks very hard* OMG. You are back. And I havent read LOTR fanfic in months. Literally. *glomps you* More coherent review later. I am just savouring the niceness of having a story return. :D Author Reply: Hey! *ducks the glomp* Hope you enjoyed it. I honestly didn't think I would get a chance to finish this chapter until September. It had bogged badly, and I didn't think I had the time to work it out. Then suddenly the chapter suggested a solution to all my problems, and demanded its chance to be seen, so I had to finish it! | |
Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/6/2005 |
From the very beginning, I am left stunned. The whole paragraph from 'Although it had traveled the cycle hundreds of times since. . . to It was the sea, and tears merely added to its depth.' is just so beautiful and evocative and tragic and poetic I want to read it again and again. And Amroth, finding his parents wearyingly eccentric, makes a wonderful counterpoint. It is so obvious (when it is pointed out) that the removal of Valinor and her uncertainty about its fate, would increase Galadriel's longing for what she remembers as its security. And that Amroth and Celeborn would want trees. I enjoyed seeing Amroth and Celebrian play - while their father ignored them! Some things never change! And their recollection of the aftermath of the wave is - chilling. (So many traumatic events are listed or described in no more than a few throw-away lines. To be made to consider what that actually meant to those enduring the fallout is very powerful and puts a whole different perspective on what those who lived through them endured. The wave that drowned Numenor is so much more than nine ships arriving on a pleasant summer sea to set themselves up in authority over lesser men. In fact, without the destruction of the social system that existed before the wave, perhaps the heirs of Numenor wouldn't have found it quite so easy to waltz in and take control.) And I can just see Celeborn with the confident air of knowing what to do, while inside he was feeling that 'Much is wrong in the world; I can feel it as well as you. When I reach for the earth, it snarls its pain into my blood. The world has changed.' Yet Isildur (and the rest) were in a state of shock little better than anyone else - dispossessed refugees, with nothing to which to return and no knowledge of what faced them. It is amazing that they built their kingdoms into places of security so rapidly. And Celeborn got to meet a very special tree. I just love the way he and the White Tree hold long garrulous conversations. So him. Even if he is 'an elf of terrifying depth'. Such terrifying depth that he can see Isildur as the heir of Elu. Which makes Isildur's heir, aka the man of many names, Elu's heir - at the end of another age. How disconcerting it must have been for Isildur to sit reciting names from the beginning of his line - and discover he was sitting next to an elf to whom Elwing was great niece. And for him to hear Celeborn acknowledge him as direct heir to Elu. What a terrific chapter. I was so delighted to see it. At least some of the things in your crazy life have been good ones. Congratulations on your achievements, both past and imminent. Commiserations on your grandfather's passing. And I hope you love the new job. (But not enough to stop you writing!) Author Reply: Thanks for the great review Bodkin! Glad you liked the paragraph about the sea and the rain. It was one of the first I wrote for the chapter, back when the chapter was much different. When I started to change things I nearly threw it out, but couldn't bear too. The description of the aftermath was hard to write. I couldn't properly describe the magnitude of the thing, so decided to go with minimalism instead. I'm so glad you commented on how the destroyed social structure must have made it easier for Isildur et al to establish themselves as kings. I had a scene written in my head where just that type of thing happens, where the men turn toward them, but couldn't get it to fit. So glad you liked Celeborn and the tree. I think that it's presence, more than anything else, would have softened him toward the men. Thanks again for the review. And never fear! I shall keep writing. This story has me around the throat too tightly to dare quit ;) | |